Not playing around. A female friend of mine was discussing this topic with me recently. A relationship with sex will last longer than a relationship without sex? What do you all think? Sex is needed in maintaining a relationship or sex is just a part of a relationship?

Advice? Comments?

BS..

if Sex is the MAIN factor in holding the relationship.. its more of lust than love. but its a very subjective thing.

sex is not the point of a relationship, rather it is the bonus. it is not necessary for a relationship, in fact, it is a good test to see if he's only in it for the sex or not ... but sex within marriage is one of many important factors to its lasting.

sex is part of a true relationship.
if u love som1, u hav to lust som1 too.

1 without the other (love & lust) wont last.

Just try to get some comments bout the topic. Nothin to with my thoughts. Let me clear the air. Cos the feedback from my female friend was too outstanding to come out of a girl's mouth.

wat is her comment?
share it....

you don't have to LUST after the person. the word is "be attracted". Why date someone you're not attracted to at all?

but no, sex is not essential to a relationship. however, your friend is right - relationships with sex tend to last longer most likely because the guy has sex on tap man ... he'll take care of that source to keep it that way

i jz recall that danny wen said this b4 : sex is not a must..but it's already in the package..

Not the most important thing in a relationship/marriage..
But without sex in a relationship after a given number of years of being together depending on the person..is miserable
I feel that sex is useful for intimacy..no sex in a marriage means something is wrong..to me that is

exactly.
u miss understood a little.
i'm not saying u lust a person den only date/chase dat person.
i'm saying is wen 2 person edi in couple mode, it is normal, in fact necessary for each other to develop lust on each other in order to maintain the relationship.

I said to her, for some individual sex could be another type of communication bringing a boy and a girl to the closest point with minimum barrier. Its more like seeing through what's under the skin rather than seeing what's under that piece of cloth. Haha..

But she told me, without sex she just thinks that there's limitation to her relationship. Love with a capping could make feel not enough love. Therefore, sex is needed to maintain a relationship. I was so surprise with that line from her mouth.

Give me an urge to tell her you're outstanding!

it depends on people, but our society is so sex-crazed now. being in a long-term, sexless relationship is something to be proud of because you're not doing what everybody else is doing. it's also something to be in awe of now, I have no idea why.

@tech: no I didn't misunderstand you.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Sep 2 2010, 01:30 AM

actually it's very simple.....
u can generalized to majority (doesn't matter male o female)......

non-virgins will say sex is necessary, where relationship wont last long without sex. shud do it after certain period of being 2gether.

virgins will say sex is not necessary, where the only thing important is love. shud do it only wen both is sure dey r the 1 for each other.

don't know the kind of people you talk with tech, but I know a lot of non-virgins who agree that sex is not necessary.

Is it because they haven't had the taste of pleasure+ecstasy?

How to be sure right partner or not? Even after married could divorce. Nowadays, to non virgin pls do whatever you think is right and to virgin, hold on to your virginity till the last. Follow your heart as long you're happy. Nothing to be proud of or shame of. Hehe..

those r usually the people dat hav bad 1st time experience......
eg, get cheated to perform sex act......

This topic has been around for dozen times. Sex is a bonus. W/O it still works fine if the true nature of that relationship is not bout lust. But well, if married couple probably another story. Not sure bout that part since I never been in that before.

Being naughty once in a while does good for everyone

This post has been edited by kink_ass: Sep 2 2010, 02:16 AM

i love to kongket my gf but i still love her

even she wont let me kongket her i just find china girl or what but i still wont leave him coz i sayang her

Er no. If you really loved her you won't even want to kongket this china girl. End of.

why does it have to mean that? all of them have been or are in great relationships. maybe you people make yourselves feel better about what you're saying because you tell yourselves that the only possible way a non-virgin can be happy in a sexless marriage is because of a bad first experience? Whose first experience is good anyway?

you guys just want to confirm that your view is correct by giving me examples of people who whine in CC as good examples.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Sep 2 2010, 05:06 AM

A drowning man will clutch at a straw

Some of your justifications are just - out of this world.

I sense projection lolol

Once you start it's kinda hard to stop (the first 6 months)

When it's ongoing you wished it end faster (the later part, same partner for ages)

mostly yeah. but i do think sex is not that necessary in a relationship.

If you're doing to often with your partner at the early stage of relationship, but lesser as time goes by, I felt that is really offensive to girls. Will girls really think, "early stage love me so much till wanna do it to me everynite, later part of relationship pulak must control control".

Will girls think that way? Will girls actually mind if the guy want it so frequent? 2-3 times a week is it too much?

lol, u kongkeng her or him. lmao

haha true love waits.. if you really love that girl..you shouldnt have sex till you are married coz any unplanned pregnancy or so will effect the future of the both of you.

so if you really love someone..why ot try saying true love waits and u wait and when u get married... u can have all de sex u wan in the world with her..

It's not to say offensive to girls. Let me correct. Usually is the girls' desire that's waning 1st. Naturally both will have reduced libido (after 1st year or further on..)

I've never met a guy who doesn't want sex with their girl at every opportunity they can get. Thats of course unless they are gay.

How is it offensive to girls? Each girl have their own sex drives. Some of my girl friends have a very high sex drive and their bfs are more than happy for it. While as some girls, like my gf, have quite moderate to low sex drive. But I'm not complaining either.

I think if you're doing it too often with your gf, they might think that you're only with them for their body and not for their heart. IMO, that would be quite offensive to some women unless they are doing the same thing. But that might not be the case if both parties understand that they are merely just "FUBU".

In my first year of relationship, I would say I used to get a lot of sex. At least once a month (still too hot for each other and always touching here and there). Second year, at least once every 2 months (starting to get busy with work and don't get to see each other much). Third year, none at all (hardcore busy and a lot of traveling. When I want, she not free. When she wants, she's having period ). Fourth year, so far 3 times since May.

So I would say sex is not a must for relationship to go strong. Its just some added advantages. Though I've seen a few friends who do wish to remain virgin until they get married and some of them had been together for at least 8 years. So yeah, sex is not a must.

Not quite sure why you're contradicting yourself, unless you're saying that marriage is not a relationship.

Well I don't know the kind of people you talk with, but I know a lot of non-virgins (and some virgins) who think sex is absolutely necessary.

Wrong, as women grow older, their sexual appetite increases, all the way up to menopause, after which, it can go either way.

marriage is the licence to have sex??
if sex within marriage is one of many important factors to its lasting why sex within dating period is not one of many important factors to its lasting??

and you are attracted to someone because you want to have sex. That is the whole purpose of attraction my dear.

Also sex is necessary in a relationship, even you agree with that because you said that its essential for marriages to last long. What is a marriage if not a relationship?

OT -- Finally. *grabs popcorn*

When you're in love with someone, sex won't be the 1st thing that comes to your mind. Especially for girls, they prefer more cuddling, kissing, hugging and talking than just sex. Usually, only guys would be all hamsap, which i think deprive the girl of a more wholesome relationship.

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Added on September 2, 2010, 11:40 amMy grandparents, being all white hair and impotent ( almost 80++, no more sex i think..) still are lovely and cuddly. They walk also hold hands, feed each other, and my grandad likes to kiss her forehead too, and smells her hair. They have been like this since courtship, according to my mother. haha...

very happy for them

This post has been edited by jaswong: Sep 2 2010, 11:40 AM

What this guy said...

Surprising!

But when they grow old, shld be less lubrication from her; harder to get wet

Uncle spanker duo duo zhi jiao me!

wah...3X topic

Sweet grandparents
Especially the feed part.

I don't expect to have a f**k when I'm in my eighties, no stamina and my knee with her hips might give way

no it isn't.

and I differentiate marriage and relationships here only because of the morons that lurk around. if there's no sex in a relationship leading up to a marriage, the marriage won't happen for them anyway.

I think it gives the men more reason to stay in a relationship?

What do you think keeps them together over the years?

I think its the communication, romance, and undying love for each other, regardless of lacking in sex or not getting prettier/handsomer.
Takes years to build. If two people love each other for what/who they are, even loving them for their faults (like snoring, farting, forgetfulness etc), then their relationship will soar through the skies la.

Nah. After a while sex may be boring. It happens in all relationship, especially when stress from work/household/babies/kids etc creeps in.

I believe what keeps both together are their commitment to each other to make things work inspite of the shortfall both experience.

It is a bit subjective I guess.

Some would tell you that you need your limbs to survive. And some would tell you that there are people still surviving despite having no limbs at all.

All the more reason to have sex NOW, because you can't have sex anymore when you're old.


It's the same with everything else. Cuddling, holding hands, kissing, etc may be become boring after a while too, that's why you see many married couples seldom hold hands. Sex is as fun as you make it to be, just like every other aspects of your life. Only difference is BOTH have to be equally enthusiastic about it.

R.I.P. Yasmin Ahmad

it's not about sex. you will understand if you have experienced this kind of relationship at least once in your life, as our parents have, as our grandparents have.

This post has been edited by C-Fu: Sep 2 2010, 03:27 PM

Very touching video. Although I have watched it several times before, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

This post has been edited by sunriser: Sep 2 2010, 03:53 PM

People who think sex is overrated are just not doing it right.

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Added on September 2, 2010, 4:57 pmYou tau kah apa ini benda?





This post has been edited by n00b13: Sep 2 2010, 04:57 PM

Sex don't last. But cuddling and holding hands and being caring to each other does.
If you make sex such a big deal in your relationship, then it will be such a big deal, and would cause trouble if you don't have it.
As you've said it, it depends on how you make it to be.
Sex may be a factor, but shouldn't make it a core factor.

ah yes... i was looking for that word...just forgotten whats it called, lol. beautifully imperfect!

thank you!!!

The right way is to have both, only then its proper and wholesome. Both sides want the physical and emotional intimacy. You girls might think that girls prefer more cuddling and stuff, generally true, but I've also seen girls with really voracious sexual appetites. So if you think girls don't need or want sex, its normally only because they haven't really experienced it properly yet.


Sure they have all that, but I dare you to ask about their sex life, and I think you might go "OMG!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!" You really think they didn't have a good sex life in their relationship?

Great, if you think sex isn't necessarily in a relationship, i dare you to take up the challenge and not have sex in your relationship, EVER.

If a relationship is going to work, its going to need sex at one point or another. This becomes more true the older you get, its a biological imperative. Which is why dating years become less as you grow older. You might be in a 5 year relationship, break up, and get married within 2 years of your next relationship.

A truly wholesome relationship requires the sex, it isn't really just a "bonus", its an essential ingredient for it to survive.

Why on earth is she discussing these with you?

In short, sex is a time limited factor, cuddling and holding hands and stuff aren't.

That makes sex a more valuable aspect of a relationship.

If you digested what you have just said, you're basically also saying that cuddling and holding hands shouldn't be a core factor either.

Seriously... why are men going through all the hassle and troubles to please a woman... it's to have sex

surely they would have had their own sexual tryst in the past. But at this age, and aching hips and joints, enjoying each other's company would be most pleasing. Well, or maybe you want me to 3gp them naked alone in the room, then upload for you to watch?

Never said cuddling and holding hands are core factor either.

for me, i believe having good communication, and loving each other even with their imperfections, can be core factor to keeping the relationship for as long as possible.

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Added on September 2, 2010, 6:02 pmSome men are genuinely very sweet and are really sincere. Women should reciprocate and both should be going through hassles and troubles to please each other. It shows that they care for each other and being selfless for one another.

This post has been edited by jaswong: Sep 2 2010, 06:02 PM

You could 3gp yourself, save it and in 60 years show it to your grandkids... grandma was a hottie!

choi..... hahahaa never store those in digital form... can always be leaked and haunt you....

+ 1

jaswong sounds like he never been in love

I do not think TS meant it to be a main factor in a relationship, but i would say it is part of a long lasting relationship. Believe it or not, a fulfilling sex life works wonder on a relationship.

This topic aroused cos she ask me am I a virgin still or been sleeping around with a lot of girls. Then she said her parents advised her million times not to do it with her bf. But she was like, I'm staying with him. How not to do? Then only come to this topic. Told me her past bf, complained bout him and etc.

But pls don't ask if she go back with me after the drink. I send her back only. Hahaha..

loled at (like snoring, farting, forgetfulness etc). But it's true..
O/T: jaswong yr picture is I wonder how many guys will talk to your assets instead of your face
Sex can be boring too after many sessions of it.. As cuddling holding hands will be too
Example:
Spanker: (In mind) My pistol is in a cooldown time now, I just can't up it anymore until few more minutes. And yet she is like a monster, she wants it now!!
+1.. Depending on the couple?
+100000 yeah to that!
Grandson: Grandma was being nailed by a man-hawk 50 years ago!! Not bad, his technique and my grandma's... Wow! Mind blowing enough.
+1 sadly true. The grandson watches this ancient porn and faps faps until dry...
Then she slept with her ex already? She might be able to coach you, don't be afraid to lose your virginity! Cheers

Your pistol isn't the only thing that can please her laa.

Relationship with sex = lust at first sight
Relationship without sex = love at first sight

every thread i masuk sure got spunkberry serious reply@@
if got lelaki write something less-sensitive, sure kena her marah/tembak kao kao XD!

i know a couple whose wife literally begs the guy to go and get a 2nd wife, because cannot tahan the guy's sex drive she cannot tahan being tired and sleepy all the time at work



you know the meaning of aroused? it's like this.

This topic is making me horny cos she ask me am I a virgin still or been sleeping around with a lot of girls.

Well there's the toys, finger etc

What's wrong with letting your grand children see how good you were when you were young? They're in no position to judge you anyways.

Before marriage, it's a luxury. After marriage, it's necessary to have good sex to keep the relationship strong.

A relationship with sex can last till very very old....

Samybelloo (not his real name) was a 95 widower and stayed in a senior citizen home.

Every night after dinner, Samybelloo went to a secluded garden to chillax ...

One evening, Minachi, age 90, went to sit near Samybelloo...

After a short awkward silence....

Samybelloo: Do you know what I miss most staying here?

Minachi: Ur wife...?”

Samybelloo: SEX

Minachi: U can o not?

Samybelloo: I know lar I know lar... ....but it would be nice if u could just held it for a while....

Minachi: Wokay....

From then onwards, they agreed to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Minachi would hold Samybelloo's d!ck.

Then, one night, Samybelloo didn't show up at their usual meeting place....

Minachi berry kan cheong decided to find Samybelloo to make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the home until she found him sitting by the pool with Letchumi, who was holding Samybelloo's d!ck....

Minachi: U blardee cheater liar amma appa poda dey!!! What does she have tat i dun have...

Samybelloo: She got Parkinson...hehehe...

This post has been edited by enmavel: Sep 3 2010, 07:52 PM

rofl enmavel, that was low !

Sex doesn't guarantees a successful relationship.
For my point of view, it only enhances the relationship.

im in an 11 month relationship, everything is going great, we have never had sex though. i really want it.

Depends on what the relationship is....friends? close friends? partners?

hurmm..another question is..what to do when we feel like need sex or being horny?any way for males to counter it ?

FAP?

next hatekiasupl legend in the making

well I don't know but to me I think a relationship could make do without sex, I feel the other more important factors like communication, shared interest and so on are more important, I feel the emotional connection is more important than a physical one. when a courtship turns into a sex fest that is just plain lust not love

exactly......
can communicate through sex & share the same interest, which is sex.

boy, sex can b emotional connection as well......

Emotional connection, not physical connection. Hmmm.. Phone sex but not physically? Haha.. Joking.. I believe 2 individual able to get to gather is really difficult. Not easy at all. It is important to have emotional connection, interest, compatible believe, attitude, love, understanding and etc to make a relationship work out.

Relationship work out happily only can have these mutual feeling call lust and sex. Rite?

A lot of the times it works the opposite way, but yeah, this happens in rare cases and arranged marriages

u hav nvr seen a girl who complaining a lot @ 1st, & purl like a kitty after great sex.

Hell no.

Wow.. I'd be starved to death for 11 months without
But there are other means instead of the penetrative kind..

I have!

when u're a virgin, u think of sex as this holy donno what omg dramatic I-can-do-it-only-with-the-ONE thing

sooner or later u realize hey, it's just another activity u share n have fun with with your partner, an activity where u can joke about, learn, play, de-stress, get closer. Just like an activity such as err.. playing jet ski or a candle light dinner together with ur partner. it's no big deal.

just like u can "tam" (cantonese) a girl with a good pampering dinner, u can do the same with a good session of sex. Just like a session at spa will remove ur daily stress, a good sex can do the same too.

The thing with sex is, good sex requires lotsa virtues like communication, trust, confidence, not da cup size or tat sexy lingerie (they do affect somehow lol) .. it's da exploring n exchanging these virtues between couples that makes sex such a great activity to enhance intimacy between couple.

if u're able to do that with another activity say .... some sports, ok lah then u probably don't need sex. But sex gives a couple exclusive 1-to-1 time to learn n develop trust about each other n fulfill da animal instinct inside, and also serves as great stories to keep talking about between da couple .. to me no other activities come close to achieving that lol so my relationship has to have sex included. Besides, without sex, what makes ur partner different from other male/female intimate but platonic friends? hmm..

just don't see the point of abstaining when u already have all the right reasons to take on this fun activity, ok that's assuming u be responsible and do it SAFELY.

Besides, only learn sex after getting married? Too freaking late man! Good sex needs lotsa practice!

This post has been edited by LanEvo7: Sep 5 2010, 11:47 AM

Couples that come with sex first... is almost like a test drive.... You like the car... but it does not necessarily means it suits you... You test drive a few hours and you may decide you dun want it.. So which means, physically speaking, sex important so that you know whether you can spend the rest of your life with the person or not?

But, on the other hand, human are not a car! They have feelings... No matter how open one is.. The guilt is still there... Especially girls...Its whether they wana drown themselves in lust and forget about it or not.. So, in order to protect the so called dignity of a girl... Virginity is the reason they hold dear for.. And it also post as some kinda training like in kung fu... the understanding of each other and patience.. Are you wiling to go miles further than you can for the person you love?

But, I'd say that after those kinda waiting I think the sex will be more satisfying? You know like when you are a kid... In those days, if you wana have something, you will have to wait and earn urself for something.. And when u get it... Its a precious to you... Same concept..

Still it depends on how the person thinks... But I support abstinence..

This post has been edited by lilko: Sep 5 2010, 07:14 PM

Yup it needs training
I support abstinence for 13-21 (school and pre-U)
But I think those final year uni/college students can think for themselves, especially after finishing last semester and go ahead have sex if deemed fit. Those in between years if you can cope then go ahead too but you might break down if after sex no good and break up

totally agree.......

a lot of virgin girls (& some faggy guys too) tot dat sex is ez, just sex.
where 1st time must enjoy with "the 1" + absolutely perfect, romantic setting.

once dis kind girl loose her virginity, she den realized dat the ntgh similar to her imagination (coz there is no such thing as perfect),
1st time is not as enjoyable as she imagine (in fact too pain or fail entry),
& clumsy & dunno wat to do (girls, sex is not as simple as u just lay there.... ).

den she'll realized that it tek a lot of practice to be good & really enjoy sex.
NOBODY IS GOOD, NOR ENJOY THEIR FIRST FEW TIMES.

That's why never bother to find a virgin partner. Since when first time sex is enjoyable?
Anyway, the bottom line is, sex is important

IMHO,

Guy doesn't want it until after marriage + Girl doesn't want it until after marriage = Good example

Guy wants it + Girl doesn't want it = Sex is just a bonus

Girl wants it + Guy doesn't want it = Sex is just a bonus (rare case)

Guy wants it + Girl wants it = Sex is important

wow... everybody love sex~~
me too~~ but if we can wait until marriage it will be most valuble..

iam felt vary regretted coz had doing it

sex is never a bonus at all, it is important no matter you like it or not. It's limited as when we grow old, the desire towards it will change, hence it makes it to be even more precious for us to appreciate and enjoy it.

seriously, feelsbadman
i want it, i cant ask for it,

I reckon sex and marriage are sacred, and first time sex should be after marriage. I support abstinence all the way =P of course, this road is not easy as there'll be a lot of temptations, no doubt.

This post has been edited by onelove89: Sep 6 2010, 08:57 PM

well, i guess i'm just not stupid enough to endure dis test......