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Serious Relationship with sex VS Non sex relationship., Boys and Girls, pls comment.

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SUSStewBerd
post Mar 8 2011, 03:45 PM

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QUOTE(tech3910 @ Mar 8 2011, 02:39 PM)
principle r same like u're looking fora job.....
well, obviously, u'll expect xmas or cny or raya bonus each year.
wen company doesn't giv u bonus, u'll rage & protest.
so....u're sure to find a better job, unless u're so broke & u think there is absolutely no job out there.
or...u're just not confident u can find a better job wit bonus.....

u see where i'm going wit dis?
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Why didn't you ask your boss if there's a contractual bonus before you accepted the job offer?

Do you see where I'm going with this?
SUSStewBerd
post Mar 9 2011, 03:47 PM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 9 2011, 02:49 AM)
"owe" is exactly the word you mean, and are trying to downplay by saying "expect".
he should not expect sex, he should appreciate sex when he gets it.
she does not owe anybody sex, it's her body and she has every right over it.

if he tak suka, he keluar then ... but he will be frowned on as someone who's only in it for the sex.

So you pick.
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So when a girl accept a relationship from a guy, does the guy owe her love, affection and gifts? Or does she expect love, affection and gifts? If the guy doesn't give her the expected/owed level of love, affection and gifts, it is his right too, ya?

And then when she tak suka she keluar, then it can be said too that she's in it for a doormat guy?
SUSStewBerd
post Mar 10 2011, 02:47 PM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 9 2011, 09:27 PM)
didn't I say that neither person owes anything to the other?
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You're contradicting yourself. If the guy leaves the girl because he ain't getting no sex, then that means the guy is in it for the sex. Now you say neither owes the other, so why are you judging the guy who's in it just for the sex, but not the girl who's in it for the love?
SUSStewBerd
post Mar 11 2011, 02:18 PM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 11 2011, 12:33 AM)
no YOU don't get it.
if the girl leaves because the guy isn't rich enough, then fair enough for her ... but people will judge her for it. Same way goes for a guy who's only in it for the sex.

I repeated that neither one owes the other because BOTH genders can and will be judged for the superficial factors that decided the end of their  relationship
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To me is very simple, girl wants love, guy wants sex. If a girl already KNOWS a guy wants sex in exchange for giving love to girl, then choose to withhold sex from that guy, then that girl is using guy for love/attention/gifts lor. And which girl don't know guy wants sex from women la... unless she stupid or was born yesterday lah. So if a guy dumps a girl because he has been giving her love but she doesn't want to give any sex, then that just simply means the guy is cutting his losses lor, since the girl has nothing to give to him.

Basically, you're saying to YOU sex is a superficial factor (which is again contradictory because if it's so superficial, why make a big deal out of it?) and you are ALSO saying that you get to be the judge of what's superficial and what is not. (i.e. guy want sex is superficial, girl want $$$ is superficial)

Lei kong sai lor, lei yeng sai lor laugh.gif

This post has been edited by StewBerd: Mar 11 2011, 02:20 PM
SUSStewBerd
post Mar 11 2011, 02:48 PM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 11 2011, 02:29 PM)
way to generalize.
also, I'm sorry all the men you've met are sex maniacs if all they want from women is sex. they should hire an escort or pay a prostitute then.

"superficial factor" is not the same as "insignificant factor". Get your terminology right.
Ending a relationship because of sex is being superficial, but it is a significant part of a relationship .. NOT the point.

Superficial - things you can live without and still be happy.
Significant - something that has a big impact on a situation, or a decision etc.

All the men I've met are not sex maniacs, but they do expect sex from women. It's just a difference of how they want to get it. If you don't know that, then it does explain why you're so bitter about men leaving women after getting (or not getting any) sex.

And not only do you get to decide what is superficial and significant, you now want to also decide what makes people happy? Hahahah. Please lah, some people cannot live without sex, some people cannot live without birthday parties, some people commit suicide just because the person they have a crush on don't like them lah.

Superficial by definition means something that contains no emotional depth, if something is significant to you, it can't be superficial. Don't contradict yourself lah laugh.gif

QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 11 2011, 02:29 PM)
You're telling me that in general, sex and money are NOT superficial things? that I can only judge if they're superficial based on circumstances and case-by-case situations? What have you been smoking?
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Money maybe superficial. But sex is definitely NOT superficial (except to you it is) laugh.gif

And you DO have to judge on a case by case. For instance, you get RM1000 from your parents, and then someone robbed you and you lost that RM1000, now imagine instead of your parents gave you that money, you worked really hard to get it and you got robbed. Which loss will be more meaningful/painful to you?

This post has been edited by StewBerd: Mar 11 2011, 02:56 PM
SUSStewBerd
post Mar 14 2011, 03:57 PM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 11 2011, 09:54 PM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

Just to reiterate:
Sex is not superficial, the act of ending a relationship purely on the basis that you're not getting sex is superficial.

Aka S-H-A-L-L-O-W.
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What about women who end the relationship because she is not getting enough attention from the bf? Or the bf forgot the anniversary/birthday/Valentine's Day/staring at other girls/watching porn/spends too much money/[insert the million-and-1 reasons for breaking up here]. Those are not shallow?

No matter how much I read what you say, it still goes along the lines of "I define what constitute a meaningful relationship, and the guy who disagrees is shallow". I don't understand why you keep denying it. Fact is both parties have expectations when entering a relationship, just because you don't want to fulfill the other party's expectations don't make them shallow.

Seriously, if sex is so superficial to YOU, would you end your relationship if you catch your bf having superficial sex outside, because you can't fulfill his sexual needs? And don't avoid answering by saying "That won't happen because my bf won't do that to me reason being blah blah blah". Just a simple "yes/no" will do. Thanks.

This post has been edited by StewBerd: Mar 14 2011, 04:00 PM
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