deleted.

This post has been edited by moon88: Apr 5 2024, 08:48 PM

try going to church or ngo kinda gathering. shud be some1 waiting for u out ther

or u can go the slutty way, go happy hour and know garbage guys

Recently I got to know mother's friend of son came back from Australia in his mid 30s and met his wife around his age in Church 12 years ago, guess church is a good place to know sincere guy, gonna learn how to sing hallelujah.

For sure you would find it...
But there is a say also....
If we repeat to do the things we are doing now, we will get the same result.
Maybe you may go deep dive into your hobby for more new things?

Yea no.

Church also has its problems.

I was raise as a Christian, the drama in a church can get crazy.

However, there will be a few gems here and there. Just need to sift through it

Have fun

This post has been edited by AthrunIJ: Jan 31 2024, 10:20 PM

Totally agree with you, I like baking and cooking, guess no guys like it or gay like it.

What kind of hobbies or sports do you guys like the most or join in a gang or club?

This post has been edited by moon88: Jan 31 2024, 10:25 PM

I myself in late 30's seeking but same issue with you, im a dude

I followed my very closed elder christian friend to church when I was a kid, my mom then restricted me to go to church since then I never go to church.
What actually you guys are doing in the church nowadays?

Standard gathering like other religions.

Sing praise, listen to Gospel then ciao or activities afterwards

I toted guys have wide choices till lady in 20s, to be frank the guys that I met in 40s they are all married.

This post has been edited by moon88: Jan 31 2024, 10:35 PM

Ok gonna try it out.

Just share your facebook here perhaps?

I still do Basketball, might want to go back for hiking and jogging
now start reading Novel....
You may try jogging and join some running event, there are many running event starting this year...

Not sure how cooking will lead you to knowing a new guy thou

This post has been edited by taitianhin: Jan 31 2024, 10:42 PM

that is kind like dating app's method, I prefer to know single guys in person.

Y.. Go see the world la, get tied down for what... Pack your bags , go travel, meet new ppl in your journey and who knows you will meet your soul mate.

I would. You have good criteria. "average or above looking, caring and friendly"
Your work place does not have any candidate? Usually partners are found in Uni, work place, social activities or among groups of friends.
Forget about dating apps..As a guy, many guys in dating apps are looking for short term hook up. In short, sex. Because we guys know that the girls in those app are very open.
Join volunteer activities like maybe clean the beach/environment, if you are into animals then find out what activities they have, etc
If you are into sports like badminton, join in random group play, there are apps for that like AFA. Or join clubs that you are interested in, drawing, chess etc.

At least you will be able to find someone that has close interest with you easier to match up rather than rubbish guys from dating apps.

Next thing is when you join those activities, if you are interested in someone, you need to start do your magic. Get closer, make initiatives. Don't wait for guys to make the first move. And of course make known to them that you are single not by announcing but in a subtle way where they can get it.
Such as like "holiday is coming, do you have any plans? I am thinking to go to XXX but it's kinda bored to go alone"
Or if u want to find out if someone is married especially at this age of yours, dont straight as are you single. U can use "how many kids you have?", then the opposite will say, I don't have kids. or I am not married.
Well, at the age of 40 to have kids, is still alright. You know your body best. If it's ready, it is. Else just enjoy married live without kids.

Thanks for your kind reply and advice, gonna try keluar from kampung first, forgot to mention that am staying in Kampung right now.
my current working place is a old folks house, I'm considered young for them. haha

dude I'm bored and scared of travelling alone to oversea.

go to classy bar alone and dress better sitting there m sure they're guys will approach you

or else you could go to art gallery
basically just have a circle where you can mix with potentially higher quality circle of guys

Like ladies, most guys that are of partner quality would be taken as you have mentioned. Hence you are likely to meet married or was married guys, possibly 95% of the time. As you are probably in the 5% pool of "partner-able" women, finding the 5% of single/widowed/divorced "partner-able" men will take time and some luck.

Am sure he will appear someday when you least expect it

Should have a lot of ngo go to old folks home especially cny time.
Maybe you could join those ngo and know more people. Grow your social circle first.

I think going to church to try to find a spouse is frankly ridiculous. Firstly you shoule have the right intention to embrace religion. Secondly, unless you’re okay to have a much younger spouse, what are the odds of finding someone around your age and single? Either they also just joined and looking for a spouse (which is unlikely anyway) or well, perhaps you should wonder why he’s single in a place where people literally goes there to look for spouse. The odds are poor. It’s not wrong. Just unlikely. I wouldn’t bank so much hope there.

My suggestion is just to join as many activities as you can. Group exercise like boot camps or specialty hobbies like gardening / camping / hiking and those likes with big group gathering. Also aggressively join your existing social circle, however small it is especially when it’s a group setting. It’s not your friends you’re targeting. It’s your friend’s friend or friends friends friend right. So it’s about expanding your social circle. So need to go out more to meet more.

Finally I’m unsure why there’s a need to describe yourself including your car. People at this age are usually looking for companionship and compatibility. As you are short(er) in time to find and vet them, you need to be clear on what’s non negotiable for you , what’s tolerable and what you’re willing to try to be tolerable. Things like income, kids, family, race, height, weight, habits, character, etc must be very clear from the start. For the same reason, it’s always better to date friends friend as you have referral.

Im also almost 40 and i met my wife through my friend. Bias opinions but hey, it’s one success story there 😆 you can’t be wasting time trying everything. Need to work smart too. Good luck

This post has been edited by PS8805: Jan 31 2024, 11:16 PM

If no intention to start a family is not a problem.
If you want a kid or two, risk will be higher when your partner is in her late 30s to 40s.

I don't drink... well maybe try going to art gallery.

How to contact you? Looking for partner also.

just hypothetical question. to see what woman think
Would you marry a divorced mid 40s man with B segment imported car and an inexpensive apartment?

This post has been edited by ahchun: Jan 31 2024, 11:23 PM

Its impossible to travel whole time and by the time you come back home the emptiness feeling gonna be back. In the end you gonna need someone to have in your life

what kind of high value guy she's waiting for? Top 5% thats not going to happen soon. She can lower her standard by dating someone 10 years younger than herself

I have spent tool much time mingle with BFFs, I should join as many as I can for outdoor activities.

I described my financial and career conditions because of proving that I considered myself is successful to the things under my control, I have capabilities to manage a house and family successfully with data proven. I could be a good life partner, wife, mother or daughter in law to a guy.
Guess my financial and career description are quite annoying to normal guys in certain sense, gonna delete it later.

I did ask my close friends or their husbands any single guys to introduce to me, the answers were NO.

I have already undergone fertility check up, doctor told me deadline is 45 years old. how to raise up kids another thing to be concerned.

PM me.

hobby, outdoor activities or maybe go join any volunteering . might hook up

If you are around KL. There will be certain hiking gang you could go for...
Go for small hill for starter. Gasing Seems fine thou
But yeah...dont go out to Bar for guys....
/k is somewhat weird place to look for guys too. There are ppl from all over the places and tons of keyboard warrior too.
and around me, i know few divorce ladyssss only...
huh, is a weird world

haha, need to know the reason of divorce. A mid 40s man with the same financial situation is not considered doing good in his career.

consider pick up badminton, cycling, car exhibition or TT session, basically those outdoor activities... you dont go out, you wont meet single guys/ fak bois..

For badminton, there is alot of group out there where you can join and meet new people ( try rovo or xiaohongshu, alot of badminton meetup ) ... need some time and effort, but definitely work for meeting people.

and because you are late 30s, you should consider those guys who are younger than you too, maybe 3-4 years.. Your asset is your look, so put it to good use.. oh and try hide your age when you social, so hopefully someone will take the bait.. thereafter when you disclose your age, is too late for them not to accept you.

btw, you born in 88? 88 is mid 30s lah... still ok ler...

This post has been edited by siew14: Jan 31 2024, 11:42 PM

I'm in kampung now, dunno where to find hiking or same hobby or interest gangs.

Really? would 34 consider too old to catch adequate nice guy? To say, take the bait, mcm sound like a high barrier d

i think the main issue is if the person is 34 and not realising time is running out, thats the main problem imo

well, i mean if the person is a social butterfly, then yeah. why not, i can understand that... if is those who always stay at home, then either the person is really enjoying his/her life and dont feel lonely, or should really wake up do something about it.

and i feel woman who is above 30s should start consider someone who is younger to them by few years already, to have more options... and early 30s guy, usually wouldnt mind few years above them la...

How late 30s? For me no la. Sorry. Need to be truthful. My last age is 30years old.

If you don't mind divorcee, there is one guy here who is looking for woman around your age. Reason for divorcee, wife cheated on him or something like that.

Don't follow mystery advise unless you want to do hookup (have sex with strangers).

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 03:04 AM

1. Go to FB, your menu, Shortcuts, Events.

You will see events happening near or around you.

2. I found my hobby FB group by simply searching hobby + name of town/area or state. You never know there might be something there. Can try your luck.

This post has been edited by PrideNeverDie: Feb 1 2024, 04:09 AM

Never try never know... Once you try then you will know...I'm a solo traveller and every now and then I just pack my bags and go and most places across the region are quite friendly... U don't la go to hostile places... That will be asking for trouble kan..

Somewhat true but once you kickstart the excitement who knows what you might find... Meeting ppl with same passion could fill up the emptiness kan...

I’m not sure how old r u now, in my generation when we were young in 20s we liked young and good looking guys, we were willing to put effort together with those guys. Young generation girls don’t like old guys , guys are not like ladies we take good care of our skin and beauty, sorry to say that when guys are old they are usually have winkles, grey hair, oily and big tummy unless u have money and willing to support their financial in return. It is like system barter u pay what u get lol

why a woman can earn like that but a man cannot?

the older you get, you will be looking for a man that are earning more n more and possible the one never married

and a man that capable of earning 20-30k/month never married (40s) is rare (and got abundance of option for younger woman) or "maybe" LGBT

This post has been edited by ahchun: Feb 1 2024, 08:26 AM

I am in my early 30s. Actually you are wrong. Majority of girls I know will only date older or same age guys. Also older guys are more attractive to females Vs younger guys.

I prefer girls who don't care about skin/makeup. I like next door type of girls. One of the question I always asked girls whom I meet on dating apps are do you do facial? How often a month facial. If yes they drop in preferences for me. Haha...

Btw, I am not that divorcee. If you want, I can ping him.

That's stereotyping about guys being old, grey hairbig tummy.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 08:52 AM

U should talk this to the same income of women like u said not here.

Haha a guy on behalf of lady to pin pointed a lady’s opinion is wrong, u really a good man.

A lady maintaining her looks is not a bad thing for me.. as long as not going overboard
You'll come to appreciate she maintains her skin/looks especially as she ages in 40s..

It's true. Go watch YouTube about relationship stuff.

A woman's peak is in her 20s, where as a man's value peaks in 40s.. this is the general thought and quite true from what i've encountered.
Imho, for a lady her requirements in a man should ideally decrease as they age, and vice versa for a man. For an older woman to have high requirements and expecting success is setting herself up for failure.. like finding a needle in a haystack.
Basically a case of supply and demand.

Outliers of course exists..

This post has been edited by labamba: Feb 1 2024, 08:57 AM

I don't really care about looks. That's why I date all girls even those that usually guys won't take a second look. Most cannot match what I am looking for in terms of personality.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 09:02 AM

U picked YouTube videos to watch or u like ‘Green tea’ girls… be realistic la u men already like young and beautiful women.

Digest these hard facts :-

1) You can live 1/2 or more than 1/2 of your biological life span as single without issue until present, now suddenly at the age of 40s you are looking to get marry & start family ?

2) Having babies at 40s, by the time you retired at 60s, your baby is only at 20 y.o. What is going to happen to their tertiary education? How finance the baby education ? Leave it to themselves to settle after you retired ? Will it be too irresponsible ?

3) At the age of 40s, the risk to give birth to deform offspring increases, what if the baby is born with disabilities ?

Are all these risk reward justify ?

This post has been edited by nihility: Feb 1 2024, 09:08 AM

A man’s value peaks in 40s because he is successful in his career, he is matured. That’s why so many young ladies even middle aged of me like the doctor in the hospital, he is in his mid 40s, he is smart, caring, gentle and patience to all his patients. How many men out there like him successful in career if u are u should already be taken by 30s.

supply and demand thing does matter a lot.

Going for the blue ocean.. not a bad strategy

From my past encounters (which might not be valid anymore).. a higher percentage of good looking ladies are actually nicer people to be with personality wise compared to average/below average ones.

This post has been edited by labamba: Feb 1 2024, 09:14 AM

Up to you to decide what you want to believe in. I am being honest here. For me looks is not on my criteria for a girlfriend. In fact as mentioned I prefer girls with normal looks and no makeup. I already stated that in my dating profile. Few older girls like me in the dating app. I don't even respond cause as mentioned, my last age which I accept is 30 years old. That's even one here 35 years old. I think single mum showed me her profile. Straight reject her.

For me personality + habit always come first over looks/hot body. Looks, hot body are just bonus which degrade with time. You want someone you are going to be with forever. Looks and hot body is not going to be there forever.

That is why those pretty or hot body, I don't even bother swiping them. I swipe normal looking girls.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 09:13 AM

Proper planning or live happily without kids.

3) proper check up, IVF. Those are solutions

Ivf is just to help you get pregnant. It have nothing to do with pregnancy health. Pregnancy health is entirely your own body.

IVF is ~RM50k a pop. Had a few friends went thru it. Only 1 success.
Risk of congenital defect is med/high.. this is a risk you need to accept if decide to proceed.

Haiya you talk like this, pls la. Ppl wanna share also ubrealistic, when give rational explanation also dunwan. So how? Don't take it personally la. Try to sift thru. Take with pinch of salt. Some of us actually feel for those who struggle in love coz the path of true love seldom runs smooth. Take a breather and try avoid kneejerk reactions to comments. Instead of hantam all men. Like that might as well you close the topic yourself.

oh no problem for me
coz for me as long as partner are financially independent or not in bad debt, they are all good

U Ada read the previous comments or not, a guy on behalf of all ladies and hamtam a lady.

Oohh sorry I thought you were a male.
So for a man looking to start a family, I'd say no I won't marry a late 30s-mid 40s lady.
For companionship with no plan to have a child, absolutely I'd marry a lady late 30s-mid 40s.
I find ladies in this age group the most attractive.

Yes there are men who are looking at 30-40 year old lady. But that's not me. But you need to understand that you need to compete with younger girls. How? Be mature, nice. Guys don't want drama in relationship. They want stability, person who support them and not going to find fault with them.

So you need to up your game and not compete in looks alone. You need to show the guy that you have something that a 2x lady does not have.

Anyways it's a number game. You need to meet with as many guys as possible. Daring app, event, volunteering etc.

I got no life so dating app is my only way.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 09:30 AM

That's why, let them. Ignore those. Focus on the messages that help you. No need to take offense at everything ppl say. It's really OK. Some of the forummers here who are already senior to us got some precious gems to share. Try to identify those. And focus on those helpful comments.

With IVF process it helps couple to choose the healthy eggs and sperms to get women pregnant, that’s only part of it. U are right women’s fertility ability plays important role too to carry and grow babies, normal women should be able to get pregnant by 45 unless they are unhealthy according Fertility doctor.

not to pour cold water, but those that already wants to marry has gotten marry and carry on with their lives


Basically, what you are left are 'leftovers' either LGBT , picky, high expectation,not normal person or mainly missed the boat etc
@ this age, presumably guy is normal, either ex divorcee/ spouse that has passed away

company i'm working with has a lot of single n unmarried, guys n ladies included, so i can roughly deduce what i'm seeing
I can see the difference in mindset and thinking amongst us

Even then, let's say, there's a genuine available guy, probably ladies are still highly suspicious, well it works both ways.. n so it goes on

Having said that, if I were a late 30-40s person, if i DO really wan to have family, i would probably gone for a mid 20s-early 30s

This post has been edited by kucingfight: Feb 1 2024, 09:55 AM

u born in 1988? 36 this year is not that old only

have you ever dated before or is single whole life?

I am not sure the doctor told you everything or not. Once you cross 35, you are counted as advance maternal age. Just Google and read it. Need to be prepared. Not necessarily will happen to everyone.

That's why I stick to only below 30 years old.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2024, 09:35 AM

Ya so many single and unmarried working adults end up never marrying. Lotsa a ppl who are career driven with initial intention to provide stability and security in the hopes of marriage one day end up being married to their jobs. Ppl are creatures of habit. And old habits die hard.

Just sharing..

https://www.health.com/condition/pregnancy/...-life-pregnancy

well, that's what they think 10-15yrs ago, time is aplenty, only to realized it suddenly

Nope 1988 older than that.

Yes in my 20s till 30s, I have a chance getting marry in my early 30s but we split out because of difference life values.

you can use the same way of how you know guys from before to find new one. not that hard.. unless you're still picky la

This post has been edited by Chaud: Feb 1 2024, 10:14 AM

My friends ask me to look for white guys and move to western countries they are not stringent to partners’ age like oriental guys see what comments I got from them here.

Sound like a plan, > 88 am really late 30s haha
There are few guys trying to approach me as they toted am around their age or younger than them in fact am older than them 3- 4 years after disclosing my age well they haven’t ran away yet. Haha

This post has been edited by moon88: Feb 1 2024, 10:27 AM

white guys think its easier to get asian women
relatively because white women have high standard as well
go anywhere also the same

I like cooking but can't meet a girl who likes to cook...

Too bad I am too young for you... just 25 this year...

To TS & the young generation out there, successful marriage, building family & raising next generation is not about 2 ppl alone. 50% Weightage are from the 2 person, another 50% weightage is from the family.

The age of 40s will face strong resistance from the family.

with online dating, there's no way a girl cannot meet a guy and get married within 2 years, its mostly high expectations. As a woman age is increasing, she becomes an easier target for casual hookups

Had to agree, maybe with women population more than men cause women had less choice.

LOL at the statement that 20 year olds would prefer younger guys than older. LOL cause my wife was 25 when we started and I am 10 years older. lol

We worship GOD and try to understand about Him.

He left you or you left him? What obstacle that caused both of you to give up ? The issue has been detected long ago & dragged on or it was detected too late scenario ?

Small kampung usually will have 1 or 2 traditional match makers who will frequently trying to match make the villager's younger generation with each another family. Muka tembok sikit, go attend to the match making arranged by those match makers. At least, the match maker will filter out the family background or reveal the family background.

You need some sociable contact to become the "bridge" for you to know ppl. The "bridge" can be from the older generation or younger generation. Join their meetup / gathering, from there onward , join their friend's friend activities.

Going for trip is one of the good option - not asking to travel solo & risk to get kidnapped. Join travel tour & choose the package for suitable for young adults not old ppl or kids. Know the ppl from the same tour, expand the contact from there.

Join some political party like MCA, DAP, PRK or Gelakan. You will gets the contact from their activities. Based on current sentiment, don't join wrong one or else later kena scold by public for no reason.

If u are 40 but pretty mature and can combine our net worth positively I am okay to marry

Marry someone young and the notion of growing old together is bs. These day divorce rate is crazy and some I know married one to two year divorce coz not compatible

i'm 42 this year and still single , i won't mind marry women around 30s or around my age

My cousin when he was in his mid 30s, married a woman in her early 40s. His family was against them marrying. He was a bit of a player and a drifter sort.

It turned out ok. She brought maturity and financial stability. He brought in energy and adventure. They are reasonably happy it seemed (15+ years now).

Personally for me, the answer is no. Maybe ego. But Im looking for the opposite of my cousin.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Feb 1 2024, 05:28 PM

[quote=labamba,Feb 1 2024, 09:39 AM]
Just sharing..

https://www.health.com/condition/pregnancy/...-life-pregnancy


that’s general study you can also google male has age of giving birth and risk..
best thing is go to see fertility doctor.

This post has been edited by moon88: Feb 1 2024, 05:24 PM

Let's go for coffee

Just PM you

Late 30 okay.

late 40 No

I'm 34 this year, yea I don't mind dating or marry another 30s women. In my opinion, I don't really care about what women do as long it is legal or their education level. Not hiring any lady staff also so why even bother asking right?

Good one.