So after so much bickering in Dating Apps and real life experiences, I have come to 1 conclusion,

GIRLS AT ANY AGE GROUP WILL FOCUS MORE ON LOOKS AND IF NO LOOKS, THE GUY MUST BE LOADED.

And when I mean Looks, I mean the born good looking ones. Even if you not good looking but you buff up / gym up, it's not gonna work (especially at the 30s).

Why I said so above? A few girls told me directly even if I became buff up, my face still cannot so they may not date me (means won't la) and they also said that even if the guy isn't buff or slim but got good looks, even chubby all they can accept.

So it goes down to, what is left for people like me? Where do I find girls now?

got good looks mean being fashionable, even if you had no money you can package yourself so that the girl (presumably she's also hot and dress revealing), both of you can match or she THINKS you can be high achiever

nowadays everything is about marketing, but if you want long lasting result you have to work on many things and its gonna take unknown number of of time

It works if I am aiming only for ONS in terms of marketing. But if want long term, I think much time is needed to fix things.

human can easily twist with word..yeah so u can get anyone~

-looks (body, fashion, plastic surgery)
-money (assess to better place instantly)
-fame (assess with better people financially, or better socially to exclusive parties etc)
-game (frame with how you perceive yourself and people around you)

My friend if u have no looks then compensate with money


Girls will kangkang for u if u open wallet show few k and credit card and what not

Its a materialistic world we live in. If u poor but hand some they wouldnt even consider if they are ready for marriage etc

sometimes its the timing of what they are going thru
if you are able to catch their timing , care enough, normal weekly dinner, care for their personal wellbeing, do not look despo...
slowly progress from there...

Sounds right on paper but in the world we live in, that's a big lie.

I have friends who got a gf from this method, the girl just leaves him for another guy who is more loaded.

thats their case... mine left cos i cannot give her the fairy tale she wanted... i got no looks and not loaded... trust me...

if your gf or partner leaves you for a better one,
just imagine it's a life and death situation
can you be peaceful about it?
If you can, you are on your path

I don't know how many girls I gone out on dates already
majority of them are who themselves, I have absolute no control with how they behave, I can only exercise my own willpower

If I think ALL women are hypergamous is BAD thing, of course I will have a strict reality or lens how I see people. Same goes to how you see women 'trying' to take your money, you will always be restless and cautious how people perceive you once you having a little bit of success in life.

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Feb 1 2023, 11:19 AM

you need to build your own confidence

dont let few negative feedback bring you down

Actually it's not only true on paper. It's true in real life as well. You just haven't meet the right one. I have seen girls who goes out with normal guys (my friends). They are ok looking, not rich. Few even get married. Yes they are only making around RM5k/month. Your average Chinese looking guy. Not fat, thin. no muscle, small eyes, normal height.

If were that guy, I will be thankful that I dodge a bullet. Those type of girls they better leave. I don't mind.

You have to consider some girls are very strict in the sense that they won't date divorced guys. That could be the other reason why they don't want to date you.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2023, 01:43 PM

Totally agree with u on this part. I wouldn't wanna date someone who's been married b4. Yes, he may have divorced his wife but complications may arise in future which might affect my rship with him. Better be safe than sorry.

as long as they are not choosy & materialistic and willing to work together to build the life they wanted... its a 2 person effort...

Assuming that 5 is average looks. If you are a 4, you have to look for a Girl who is a 3. But if u are good at presenting yourself maybe u can get a 4.

there's a mix of values that women are looking for, and its also tied to their history and how they perceive the world. Objectively a teenager girl thinks being handsome and good looking and football leader is more alpha than having money.

There's also saying that having women in school arena is way easier than being in adult world

Rempit muka pecah also can have girl.

imo. there is a passing mark for each category la

eg:
1. in order the girl A to accept you. the following is her requirement:
money: 6/10, M40 type pocket
looks: 8/10, actor grade face and body
character: 3/10, smoking also dont mind

or

2. in order the girl B to accept you. the following is her requirement:
money: 8/10, reaching T20 type pocket
looks: 4/10, as long BMI no >30 is ok
character: 8/10, must be humorous yet supportive

if you pass minimum requirement, then they wiling to date you

there's someone out there for everyone, don't give up mate; don't be discouraged.

if all else fails, swinging the bat for the same team ain't that bad too. Then again, gays are the most judgmental freaks ...

oh well.

my wife is a gem then.. i dated her when i was broke and i confirm not the handsome type.. u meet me outside more likely u think I'm fierce with mintak penumbuk face.. meanwhile she is petite, cute.. hitam manis kind..

don't give up hope TS.

Like I said before unless you are super confident and Playboy type, don't go for looks. If you go for looks, how many other guys also going for look. She is spoilt for choice. So you will need to stand out in your dating app.

That's why for I don't bother about those with super model looks, or nice makeup. I went for those normal girls without makeup in dating app and all replied to me like normal.

Yes nice to have super beautiful and hot girl but as the saying goes beautiful girl is not your wife and handsome guy is not your husband.

For me, I am just sharing what works for me.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 1 2023, 07:22 PM

lucky then okay, when both of you can be content
there are many people who are spoilt inside and outside until can't receive objective reality

I saw many rich, fat guy, face like crazy frog music by Axel, the girl beside is so hot.

Not an average hot, is those damn hot.

I wonder why???

Meaning are they gold digger? I only can land hot girl, average looking good girl and decent pretty girl.

I cannot get any of those sexy and damn hot girl.

Please enlighten me.

Ouch...Were the girls whom commented on you being ugly your dates? Being so direct?

Which part of your face do you think is the problem?

At early 40s like everyone, can expect some aging signs like forehead wrinkles and lines around your lower eyelids, which are easily corrected. Even if your face has left-right imbalance, it can still be fixed.

The unfixable ones are skull bone related disalignment, example one eye socket is positioned higher/lower than the other, or jaw malalignment problems like overbite/ underbite or nose deviation.

The ladies have a point i guess. Eveyone loves attractive faces, but the formula for attraction is more than just physical. You don't need to look attracrive but instead you can focus on getting a pleasant look, meaning fixing those that puts people off.

If you got some scars, there are ways to make the skin surface smoother.

If you don't have anything serious, can always try some makeup when you go out on dates. CMB got many ladies who are divorced, and they often don't mention their marital status.

By the way, I thought u had an LDR thing going on?

Paiseh, i thought they said you were ugly, but didn't find that in your post haha 😅

The Bad Boy Syndrome ?

While basic maintenance of looks & relatively stable financial are essential, it's your "inner vibe" that matters most.... your core human values, integrity, your thoughts, your intentions, your beliefs, your soul.

Improve your inner vibes then lucks of romance would surround you.

You listen to girls from dating apps? If they are good then why are they still in the app?

Get some workouts to keep yourself looking strong and good. The girls will come.

The LDR somehow didn't work because of how the girl lead me on to believe it was doable but she didn't want to commit so yeah.

As for the looks wise, well let's just say that I don't look like KPop Boy Band members so I can't attract them good enough.

Positive or Negative vibes, we are looking at the first impression first. If first impression also cannot make it, then how do I continue to show I am good.

Some girls within my range of colleagues did say that for girls to look into my inner vibes and values, the looks must be passable too.

If looks also can't pass, they won't bother looking into your value. Why? Because no matter HOW NORMAL a girl looks, confirm got many guys SIMP for them creating a fake reality where they got lots and lots of choices.

For example, I know of a girl who I think looks very fairly normal BUT there are at least 5-6 guys waiting to shower with attention when needed.

Also from range of ppl around me.

The problem is not your looks or your money. Its your mindset. Your negative mindset gives off negative vibes and women can pick up on it.

I'm short and not good looking, and during my hunting days I wasn't even loaded. Yet, you'd be surprised with the women I managed to pull.

You need to change your perspective on life, and also your views on women in general. If you always think of problems or worry so much about what they think of you, you'll never attract the right person. You'll only attract the very thing you're thinking of; the bad women that will fulfill your prophecies.

Btw is this a Chinese culture thing? Avoiding divorced men.

P/S Im assuming TS is Chinese also.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Feb 2 2023, 11:35 AM

divorced doesnt mean its bad
being a former sl*t doesnt mean its bad

It depends on the person whether he or she can be aware for changes

what's traditionalist men or women do is, they judge someone past and have a restricted mindset how to move forward in life

Maybe. I don't know. What I know is in the US, is one of the yellow/ red flags of a female is divorced female. Based off YouTube I watch. But nothing mentioned about divorced men (maybe I didn't search for yellow/red flags in men).

Also when it involved divorce male/female what you are hearing from them is their part of the story. You never hear their the other partner part.

Divorced males in US are almost zero out because the family court system heavily favors the women, thats why they're not often talked about because of guilt and ashamed.

No, it's not a Chinese culture thing. Some women just like to play safe coz there's always a possibility that the divorced men might go back to their ex wives or maybe the guy lies to the potential gf that he's in the midst of getting a divorce. Even if there are 2 sides to a coin, I still don't like to deal with such complications so I'd avoid such men at all costs.

This post has been edited by kitkat86: Feb 2 2023, 01:22 PM

Thats true, ive asked out a girl she didn't mention whether she had legal arrangement with her 'husband' as she still keen to see me, i was cautious as i didnt want to suddenly getting knocked door when i was trying to hook up with her

apply cosmetic, make your face look nicer, change hair style, clothes fashion, apply some fragrance.

and most importantly, you must be funny + suave, if you ugly already， poor somemore + awkward conversations, confirm cannot get.

99.9% on looks. Loaded with money is useless unless you're a billionaire. Honest and loyal means nothing when you can't even attract with looks.

Money only works on sex workers.

I can only answer this from Chinese perspective. I heard the Malay world is more forgiving.

This post has been edited by Skylinestar: Feb 3 2023, 09:29 AM

Er your post regarding Chinese not so accurate. Again as I said so many of my friends making RM5k, now engage or already married.

However money does help. The girl need to feel that you can proceed for her and the kid.

money plays an important part in family upbringing

without money you cannot maintain the minimum quality of life, go to school, have nice food, go holidays once in awhile.

but do not put too much focus on it else it will eat you up. buy only what u can afford do not wear a bigger hat than ur head... prioritize

True. Minimum amount of money is needed for any relationship. But it's not the ultimate cheat code or the main issue.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 3 2023, 10:24 AM

I feel you are quite right. Many friends around me saying the same thing.

You got looks, you are at least (I AM SAYING AT LEAST) 50% ahead in the game.

Why? Because I know of a guy, the looks quite good but he no money. The gf willing to pay for his everything just to make sure she gets to keep him as a trophy bf. Many girls want these kind of trophy bf.

I think u missed my point.
Level 1: look
Level 2: money
Generally, u need to pass level 1 first before u go to level 2. Nobody knows your wealth before they know you first.

That's why many people make it so that their wealth is obvious.

Nice car, nice clothes, nice watch, hangout at expensive places, spending power and etc etc. Make it visible on social media and in real life.

Ain't this the hard truth. I do believe there is always someone out there for you. But that someone, if you set a level 9 in looks, while you are only level 4-5, susah kan? Urban city, most girls who know there are a 8-10, will utilize it to their advantage because they get a lot more admirers probably, hence they have choices. In reality, you can't blame them. They also want the best available to them. And they make use of their looks if they have it.

Likewise for ladies who aren't good looking but have enough moolah, they spend their way to your heart if you are poorfag but at least reasonably good looking and are generally nice all round.

Guys are no different lah. If good looks, they know girls will come knocking. Ada duit, takde duit, will depend on the girl already. If not good looking but willing to fling money around, they will also come knocking.

In all fairness, there are pretty or rich girls, who don't care whether you are super good looking or super capable/rich. As long as you don't look like 1-2 or poor till staying with parents and cannot to even afford your own small apartment/house. Some, they value personality, charisma, kindness, ambition (if you're young).

Ask yourself lah, you wouldn't want someone who leeches on you all the time, no ambition, nothing. Let's be real, if I was a multi-millionaire, I don't mind having one of them pretty lasses who can't do anything in life but provides a good BJ and FJ, pandai pujuk pujuk and is nice to me. They just want money only mah. It will be a real bonus if they also really like you. Everyone dreams of that.

Thus, the likelihood is, we settle. Settle for someone reasonable looking, reasonable career and whatever criteria they see fit; kindness, adventurous, can cook, Basically, to complement our current status.

Then, the trick is to stop looking, once settled. If we don't stop, there will always be someone better out there. Always.

Apa takut? Anything its not your fault right, its her. Just tell the dude "Hey, warmed up her up for you, have fun"


Lots of people saying it doesn't mean its true. Especially if most of them are not good looking and have bitter experiences.

Yes, looks play some role.. but to women its really not as important as you think. The #1 thing to a woman is their emotion, their feelings. Looks help you because it gives them that immediate feeling of attraction, but it can just as easily go away if you're a deadbeat loser or do something stupid. Likewise, you can be average and still catch their heart, and it won't matter that other people are better looking, she'll think you're the best.

Guarantee this relationship won't last.

come on.

Dont tell me that you have never seen poor average looking couple before?

If you could not find any, maybe the problem is you. You could not accept a girl that has neither looks nor wealth too.

share my experience, to be frank, i rarely see gold digger in real life, maybe i dont mingle with people who drink.

And some girls that i friend with, they told me that, a good man as in treat gf good, can cook, spend time with partner etc. Yes, all these traits are things that most girls always say they want. But in the end, it is just added point.

The kind of points that can be added if you have a acceptable look, height and good humor.

I was enlightened that i know why i lost out in dating market. I can't even meet the minimum requirement of look and/or charm. Lol

This is the kind of experience I am experiencing now.

Whether we can fulfill their emotional needs or whatever, it needs to go through looks first.

Some of my female colleagues and friends said, if they can't look past the looks, they won't even try to get to know the person cause they 'assume' (strong word) that they won't be attracted to the guy long term.

it applies to both genders in my opinion and i agree with your female colleagues and friends. Either you lower your expectation to C grade look girls (or even lower) and hope that someone may be ok with you. Other way is, improve your charisma as in the way you speak, interesting common topic to share. Something like use charisma to cover the lacking part of look. Of coz, you may get lucky to know some girls who look great and accept you.

Otherwise, if can't, may just end up like me, look and charisma also lacking, but can't lower my expectation from A, B grade look girls. I know i will be single till my death, i am not happy about single life, but i still not going to change (stubborn and as what your female colleagues and friends said: "can't get pass the exterior requirement, dont talk about long term life together"). Not to mention, age matter also affect on guy, option is not that much open compared to girls. Girls who are 10 years younger than me saying i am too old for them. And money is not an issue. As i said, I haven't really see a gold digger yet in my life.

This post has been edited by gundamsp01: Feb 4 2023, 07:00 PM

I've tried going on dates or approaching stranger girls purposely dress out of my league myself (smarter), most people have a longer lasting impression when initially meeting each other.

If you couldnt change your look, you must change your fashion immediately. You can buy some time for a girl willing to respond to you

What do you want from us, TS? Many have given their opinions how you can turn it around but TS only keep harping on the same thing over and over again. Such strong negative vibes and resistance to good suggestions from so many here.

I think TS should try this.

IMO women's perception on look is not just face only, but the whole package.

Add new wardrobe, more stylish haircut n nice deodrant n perfume.

Hahahahaha why compare yourself to this guy who makes you feel bad? "Many girls" is just your stereotype because of 1 case that you know. What about the other 99 couples that you know?

Ever heard of the saying that goes: the best investment you can make is in yourself? So invest in yourself.
What does this mean? Upskill yourself. A man who is knowledgeable or has a variety of skills is charming. This meaning reading books that'll benefit you/ enrolling in courses with things to learn etc. Self improvement is so crucial these days if you're looking for quality lifestyle. People who don't keep up will be left behind. So yeah while looks will probably get that person halfway somewhere but still, if you're looking for long term relationship, personality and the depth of a person's character still matters imo.

===

Additional points <<since you were harping about looks>>

- Grooming: Decent haircut which don't even require high expenses. Shave (or not, depending on your preference) if it's neater for you.

- Clothes: Appear neat & tidy. Fashion didn't have to be expensive or overdoing it. When you have the extra budget (ie. from bonus), get yourself some decent top or pants. Even IGR/ Tik Tok has multiple fashion tips on the kind of matching clothes you can play around with.

- Physique: If you think you're overweight, try to reduce some weight so you'll feel better about yourself and gain some confidence.

Also, even if you think you don't look good - it may not be the case for some ladies out there. Perhaps 1 tip that can help... try to enhance your appearance by making sure your face is clear from blemishes/ acne etc. Go to the dermatologist if you have skin issues and get them rectified. The more confident you feel about yourself, the more attractive you'll appear. And seriously, who doesn't like a confident person? (well, don't be overconfident though or that may seem snobbish).

Now ask yourself how much effort you're willing to put in to look better. If you're going to keep using physical trait as an excuse, then you're doomed to fall back into this loop every time you fail to meet someone.

This post has been edited by sweet_pez: Feb 7 2023, 11:41 AM

Actually, for TS, why bother going into a relationship?

When you stop giving a fuck to how people view you, then you can start building your core intrinsic values.

I refused to believe the world has proceeded to such a state that less endowed persons cannot find happiness in a partner.

Maybe you are looking at the wrong place.


You dont need to be good looking or rich to score, while it certainly helps.. Work on something others don't have. Girls are not stupid. Being rich and handsome is another can of worms they need to deal with in the future also...usually to their own disadvantage....riches and beauty are fleeting attributes...they know it the best.

I'm telling you there are a good majority of girls looking for a life partner that would settle for an average man that can cook for them more than anything else.

I like the way you think.
Men who cooks and clean get the upper hand anytime! At least in my books

Haha...right on sis.

TS needs to dig deep into what makes a girl tick. Ultimately all girls want is a father figure or what they think or wish thier father could be to thier mom. Read the musings of Carl Yung and the Electra Complex.

No point TS goes after girls that want a rich guy or a good looking man....he's playing out of his league and girls that want that hasn't really figured out what's really important in a life partner.

That said, I'm not discounting the biological and cultural precedents of putting emphasis on wealth and appearance. It certainly helps your case to have either or both. But that's not the end of the world if you don't.

Do you have a sense of humour? are you well read and spoken? Can you whip up a Michelin star meal? Are you willing to help with house chores as a family man taking care of the household? Some people will inevitably say you are a beta to do it but I can assure you, if a girl finds an alpha willing to go to that level to do those things for her, I'm sure you find many girls wet between the legs for you.

What book is that?

LOL

I wrote that as a joke.

But if you are really interested, you can just do a Google search for Carl Yung, Theory of Psychoanalysis. Jung was a swiss psychiatrist. Jung proposed this as the opposite of Freud's male Oedipus complex.

I Google and saw psychoanalysis. I think a bit deep for me. Lol.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 7 2023, 03:24 PM

But TS will probably say he cant show off his cooking and cleaning skills..girls already reject him for his looks.

Let's see, where do I start this. Now, in my age and aim I am looking at finding and maintaining a long-term relationship and not just a hit and run kind. So let me being very objective and analyse this:

1. Yes, we can do everything in the world to better ourselves but are we in the running against those MUCH MUCH WAY WAY BETTER OFF people?

2. In an easy rationing, almost every man in their 30s or 20s know how to do basic house chores. Maybe 7 out of 10 from them. So if I am part of the 7, what makes me stand out? Back to either looks or money, right? Impossible it's about good character all, I find those very not logical. If then say 4 out of the 7 has good character, how does the girl choose? Eeny meeny miny mo?

3. You said that I am looking at the wrong pool, so tell me, where do we find such a pool? And also, MANY MANY BUAYA out there also looking for this pool so again, what can make normal average joes like us stand out? Looks and money again right?

4. At the end, we have to remember that if we don't stand out from others, why would a girl choose us? Simple, just to settle most probably and what happens if another better one comes knocking? Say bye bye to us.

I am not being negative here but I am seeing too many examples of girls going off with guys who are better off (in terms of looks or money) even when they had a loving partner. Yes, I don't know their story but for some I do and it ain't pretty.

TS, traditional match making is one of the a possible solution. I just don't know why the current generation is so against it. Some ppl can compete in the competitive environment, some people just can't.

If you want to display your inner beauty, you need a lot of time exposure. A lot of time exposure means your potential candidate can only comes from the places you appear daily - like work places, your living community / neighbors , religious house, hobby club, etc. Anything outside of this, you will not get your time exposure & you will not be able to display the inner beauty.

I totally agree to this. That's why I said it's not possible to have girls look beyond our looks for the inner beauty from going socialising.

Wait, who defined these requirements?

You know, there is no standard requirements, everyone have their own set of “requirements”

There are saying such as beauty in the eyes of beholder, one man’s meat is another man’s poison.

So, why you think you can’t even meet the minimum requirement? When there is no standardisation of the requirements?

Additionally, you seems to know your weakness, did you strive to improve yourself on that part?

This post has been edited by MasBoleh!: Feb 9 2023, 04:16 AM

what i think about myself is has no meaning when the opposite sex doesn't think the same way.
You mean improve on my look/charisma? look wise, can't really improve, ugly is ugly, only thing is making myself look ok level, but that is not enough apparently. Charisma wise, nah, hard to change personality.
inner beauty means jack shit nowadays, if inner beauty is that important, there wouldn't be so many girls complain about their "bad" bf out there.

This post has been edited by gundamsp01: Feb 9 2023, 08:13 AM

I am sure you have girls interested in you but you are not interest at them perhaps due to them been unattractive to you?

so far none, besides, my circle is small, as i only talk to colleagues, hence didn't think much about it.

That means your data pool is not large enough to be accurate.

Instead of accepting what you think is the reality and fact, perhaps you may try to widen your circles and hopefully your perception will change.

The thing is, once we accept we have been defeated then we really already defeated. No matter how bad the situation is, if we do not accept it, that means we are still in fight. And when we are still in fight in fighter mode, then there will always have opportunity to be ended up as winner.

lol, but getting old (mid 30s), tried abit of dating app, didn't get any match, so i think it is sort of true?

A bit and not long, how to get result? You know what? You know you want something, then you have to be aggressive to get it. The fighting spirit!

If I am a girl, I see you so cynical. Is a huge turn off.

i would say chicken and egg situation. Anyway, all the best to you with the right positive mindset!

Sometimes, we got no choice but to be positive. I think you shall meet me, then you know I am actually under the same situation as you.

We do need money to survive though, marriage, houses, kids, groceries, utility bills etc.

Some just looking for shortcut, go find a rich partner, got big house, nice cars, no need to worry about bills and groceries etc.

Some willing to work together, you do your parts and I do mine, that's what they said true love. There's some LYN users here shared their stories just like this.

I believe at lease few of us here saw or witness the above scenario before, they even show this in some TV dramas.

For the look or appearance, we can't disagree that it's an advantage over those average looking.

Mid 30s is old? Lol

U young Padawans

Im late 40s. Divorced like TS. After divorce, dated girls late 20s and early 30s yo.

Now GF is 17 years younger than me. Been exclusive with her more than 6 months.

since when women prioritise looks when looking for a husband/partner??

if u say money, then i believe la

if u say looks, it's hard to believe, unless u r really really reallyyyy ugly

I think TS is saying need to get the girl out on a date first. The first step to getting the girl out on the date is girl must be attracted to you physically. If you can't attach a girl physically, how is the girl going to come out with you? Just my guess.

Btw. I am neither rich or handsome and girls still want to come out with me. Lol. For me, I just be honest and myself. I have nothing to hide unlike bossku. Hahaha...

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 9 2023, 12:02 PM

i manage to get a girl 10 years younger than me at 39... mid 30s is not old, old is above 60, hell, i never think age is a factor

i guess TS just need to comb his hair, put on some foundation , and post a professionally taken photograph.

well at least to look presentable and well-groomed on a dating site

i am getting rejected just based on age so far, i dont know, we are living in different world.

Via dating apps?

If apps yeah, I think apps sucks. I did use them, but too much waste of time.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Feb 9 2023, 12:39 PM

Normal to get rejected on dating app. Just keep trying. My female friend had to try like 2 years there just to get a boyfriend. Now getting married already.

Then how did you manage to date girls in 20s and 30s if they are not from dating apps??
Through your own social network??
I am just curious....

That's why we have social media!

There's always someone better out there. When you think you've met a beautiful woman, you'll notice there's another better one later on. That is a never ending loop because you'll cross path with many people in this lifetime. It's the same with anybody.

Personally - I've got friends that I feel is doing really well in life, and then I meet others who is even richer and better off. Does that change my perspective? No. To me, that's just another person/ human being. So this boils down to that person's character or personality. Take away his money and looks, is that a person I'll wish to continue associating with? If yes - I'll proceed to keep as a friend. If no, I'll just compartmentalize this person as an associate/ acquaintance and have less contact.

Secondly, you're still looking at something superficial. When you socialize say, with 3 or 4 girls in a group setting, assuming all of them looks similarly good and appears pleasant. There must be something that sets them apart which gives you a certain preference to either 1 or 2 of them. People may say things like "clicking" with someone is too cliché but its still true IMO. How do you even make friends with people you have no common topics or can't click with? Maybe some can, but I find such friendship/ relationship is hard to sustain.

What pool are you looking at? I've never mentioned you're looking at the wrong pool. I guess you're not looking for an average jane but high standard beauties, that's why you kept mentioning money and looks lmao.

TS you've already set your mind so I'll just stop here because I don't see any point in going further. All the best.

This post has been edited by sweet_pez: Feb 9 2023, 04:30 PM

There are some girls from dating apps. Only I do find apps produce very slow results. The rest are just girls I say hi to, or from business network. My approach is to make casual friends among this age group. Then we do some fun things, follow each other on social.media etc.

Basically this gives me an opening into their social circle. They have friends (n btw pretty girls tend to have other pretty gfs), and this is where I came across my current GF.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Feb 9 2023, 05:39 PM

I like your approach of being casual friends with girls. Not many guys have this social skill to mingle around the opposite sex.

just need to work on your charm