got good looks mean being fashionable, even if you had no money you can package yourself so that the girl (presumably she's also hot and dress revealing), both of you can match or she THINKS you can be high achiever

nowadays everything is about marketing, but if you want long lasting result you have to work on many things and its gonna take unknown number of of time

sometimes its the timing of what they are going thru
if you are able to catch their timing , care enough, normal weekly dinner, care for their personal wellbeing, do not look despo...
slowly progress from there...

Ouch...Were the girls whom commented on you being ugly your dates? Being so direct?

Which part of your face do you think is the problem?

At early 40s like everyone, can expect some aging signs like forehead wrinkles and lines around your lower eyelids, which are easily corrected. Even if your face has left-right imbalance, it can still be fixed.

The unfixable ones are skull bone related disalignment, example one eye socket is positioned higher/lower than the other, or jaw malalignment problems like overbite/ underbite or nose deviation.

The ladies have a point i guess. Eveyone loves attractive faces, but the formula for attraction is more than just physical. You don't need to look attracrive but instead you can focus on getting a pleasant look, meaning fixing those that puts people off.

If you got some scars, there are ways to make the skin surface smoother.

If you don't have anything serious, can always try some makeup when you go out on dates. CMB got many ladies who are divorced, and they often don't mention their marital status.

By the way, I thought u had an LDR thing going on?

You listen to girls from dating apps? If they are good then why are they still in the app?

Get some workouts to keep yourself looking strong and good. The girls will come.

99.9% on looks. Loaded with money is useless unless you're a billionaire. Honest and loyal means nothing when you can't even attract with looks.

Money only works on sex workers.

I can only answer this from Chinese perspective. I heard the Malay world is more forgiving.

share my experience, to be frank, i rarely see gold digger in real life, maybe i dont mingle with people who drink.

And some girls that i friend with, they told me that, a good man as in treat gf good, can cook, spend time with partner etc. Yes, all these traits are things that most girls always say they want. But in the end, it is just added point.

The kind of points that can be added if you have a acceptable look, height and good humor.

I was enlightened that i know why i lost out in dating market. I can't even meet the minimum requirement of look and/or charm. Lol

Hahahahaha why compare yourself to this guy who makes you feel bad? "Many girls" is just your stereotype because of 1 case that you know. What about the other 99 couples that you know?

Ever heard of the saying that goes: the best investment you can make is in yourself? So invest in yourself.
What does this mean? Upskill yourself. A man who is knowledgeable or has a variety of skills is charming. This meaning reading books that'll benefit you/ enrolling in courses with things to learn etc. Self improvement is so crucial these days if you're looking for quality lifestyle. People who don't keep up will be left behind. So yeah while looks will probably get that person halfway somewhere but still, if you're looking for long term relationship, personality and the depth of a person's character still matters imo.

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Additional points <<since you were harping about looks>>

- Grooming: Decent haircut which don't even require high expenses. Shave (or not, depending on your preference) if it's neater for you.

- Clothes: Appear neat & tidy. Fashion didn't have to be expensive or overdoing it. When you have the extra budget (ie. from bonus), get yourself some decent top or pants. Even IGR/ Tik Tok has multiple fashion tips on the kind of matching clothes you can play around with.

- Physique: If you think you're overweight, try to reduce some weight so you'll feel better about yourself and gain some confidence.

Also, even if you think you don't look good - it may not be the case for some ladies out there. Perhaps 1 tip that can help... try to enhance your appearance by making sure your face is clear from blemishes/ acne etc. Go to the dermatologist if you have skin issues and get them rectified. The more confident you feel about yourself, the more attractive you'll appear. And seriously, who doesn't like a confident person? (well, don't be overconfident though or that may seem snobbish).

Now ask yourself how much effort you're willing to put in to look better. If you're going to keep using physical trait as an excuse, then you're doomed to fall back into this loop every time you fail to meet someone.

TS, traditional match making is one of the a possible solution. I just don't know why the current generation is so against it. Some ppl can compete in the competitive environment, some people just can't.

If you want to display your inner beauty, you need a lot of time exposure. A lot of time exposure means your potential candidate can only comes from the places you appear daily - like work places, your living community / neighbors , religious house, hobby club, etc. Anything outside of this, you will not get your time exposure &  you will not be able to display the inner beauty.

In this day and age where more men are sticking to the single path, I just wonder what motivates him.

If that’s your primary concern then a friend would serve your purposes just fine without the baggage.

What was the fuss about civic being a chick magnet, I simply opted an alternative around the same price point

I look around mostly driving locals or Toyota bios, 140k=2x Toyota bios, it is well above average

how long have you used the app before you found her?

To achieve a balance is the best.

But hard to do.

I found mine is the most awkward place. Still ongoing and seem quite happy to date. Not sure if gonna lasts.

My point is anything anywhere is possible just gotta keep trying and not give up

So far I tried sugar dating and it works for me la. Somewhat I spend less on sugar baby than my ex gf with less headache but same benefit. Companionship, intimacy, love, etc. But no jealousy, overly attached, commitment.

Not sure if I am delusional or what but im happy in my dreams for now.

For me right now, she is no different from GF. I give my gf allowances, buy her stuff, bring her out etc. Even if after married I still need to provide for her as wife. Right now is the same without being official. No need to worry about divorce issue.

On top of that I believe all guys (above 30) will have issues with infidelity. I somewhat have the license to do so as long as I take care of hygiene and safety (for myself and others la).

My issue is the emotional attachment. Right now is still fresh and I can take off at anytime, should I invest emotions. Or just change when I get bored?

Should I take her like my gf or just subscription service?

Right now our agreement is exclusive SD SB, so far im going around still. not sure about her, choosing to trust her though. Like bf gf seldom check and assume she is loyal kind

I wish for her to be exclusive, without a doubt sometimes when she dont reply me I get edgy a little which is not healthy. But I am matured enough to control my emotions. Somewhat by replying this way I know I have unconsciously fell for her a bit
How was your experience, do you miss the time with her etc? How much were u giving her