I’m writing this down out of my free time at home. I’ve encountered LOTS of rejection from girls and just want to share my side of experience (what I’ve summed out from it actually) and hopefully, it will shed some lights to some of the forummers here. Keep in mind that my findings here are solely based on my experience, and many of you will disapprove it or find it very misleading. I’m okay with it. In the end, I just want to share. Here goes nothing...

FOR GUYS WHO WANT TO CONFESS TO A GIRL - FRIEND
(Dedicated to those who never had a girlfiriend / never confess before..)



FOR GIRLS WHO’S BEING CONFESSED BY A MALE FRIEND



THEN HOW TO AVOID THESE DILEMMA ?




THE CONCLUSION

Thanks for your time reading this..

not bad not bad ...good advice for the young one

+2, i agree with hoilok n ts

I think it's a great guide for those inexperience ones
Thanks for your time for sharing it

nice one.

MODs. this one deserves a sticky. but then again, cupid corner will have less emo topic like "why she like that one." or trivial topic like "what does that means: she touched my ankle" or its equivalent.

I appreciate your lesson. but it discourages those who is in the hesatating state wheter confess or not.

If you don't try you don't know. A man needs to bear the consequences and live on.

No offense but you sound like the typical asian who think too much, possibly a person with low self confidence and low self esteem.

maybe you were hurt before, but i don't think by doing this will be any better.

seriously....thats only few thingsd to remember and do but many guys juz failed to take it.

1)be confident at all time and dun confess if one is interested at her. wait for the rite time....the right timing is the key

2) move on if got rejection.

its so easy but many guys dun wait for the rite time. they r so desperate therefore act desperately and become another desperado.

even more guys cant take it when they got rejection...they started to become emo and hide and one corner each time. come on...be proud of yourself and get anther gal immediately. i dont see onnly one perfect candidate in this world.

Thanks all



I know it sounded demotivating but that's not my goal. By all means If someone wants to confess go ahead. My point is to be prepare for the aftermath and dont just blindly confess and then getting hurt.

Thanks for sharing. Really a nice piece of advice.




I really like this part.
While some might says, never try never know.
I rather face the reality. Sometimes the gap is just too far.

dugg.

really nice article, altho its pointing only to one direction.

dude, is this copyrighted?

the "never try never know" causes these:

- frens no longer frens
- frens becomes enemies
- frens gathering awkwardly , mayb 2 party involved wont be so in "talking" or "having fun" terms anymore. causing "mood" down and "hard times" in everybody in terms of planning.

X rejected by Y. gathering time.. group photo (Y avoid X), play games (Y scared join coz Y playing), driving back (Y reject, prefer Z drive even though X n Y same area).

- frens gathering failed (X rejected by Y, Z plan gathering for A-Z, Y said wont go if X go)
- frens group corrupted, impossible to repair. (X rejected by Y, coz Y like Z. Z like Q, in the end... all alphabets ruined from jealousy and envy)

... all because of one person raging hormones in hope of losing his virginity before he turns 18/21

This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Mar 6 2009, 11:42 AM

how much hurt a guy conceed is depend on the relationship with the guy.

I once lived in the excact situation you stated. thinking that the girl has feeling towards me and all the good stuffs. In the end yes that hurts.

once i just asked a collegue out. our relationship is even worst than friend, not knowing each other except for name. guess what, she got a bf. i feel no pain what so ever.

i am against guys who think too much when it comes to confess, getting girls. in the end it is she who makes the difference, since you took your shot, you have nothing to regret.

Its true because I only point on the rejection part. If it was not a rejection and the guy was accepted, then no point in having this conversation right? They both are happy..

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Added on March 6, 2009, 11:40 amNope, its straight came out last night, while I was having a cigarette in my room. Its what I've learnt so far from my side..

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 6 2009, 11:40 AM

// admin_vote_pin 1

This is good.

Basically your whole post boils down to this point. Its really not a bad piece of advice, but the way you've described it, I have to disagree with what you said. The advice you're giving IS BAD. Why? because you're setting a negative attitude.

The biggest problem is your low self-esteem. You don't believe in your self, you don't have a positive view of yourself. You look at your flaws, and think everyone judges you on that. By thinking like this, you sub-consciously project these flaws to people around you, which in turn, turn people away. What happens is a negative feedback loop that sends you in a downward spiral.

Ask yourself, what do you really want in life? What are your goals? What qualities do you want in your friends? What qualities do you want in your partner? Don't just fall for someone because they gave you some attention, this is the biggest mistake lonely people make. You must have your own standards of what qualities your partner should have, and choose people based on that. Don't get blinded by the beauty and attention given.

When you have goals in your life, principles, standards, then you have a strong foundation. Make yourself happy first and foremost. When you're happy, your mood changes, you get a more positive outlook, your self-esteem increases and you become more confident. The positive feedback loop is much more beneficial for you.

You're still going to get rejected, but hey, learn to f`ing deal with it. Failure is a part of life, you have to fail to succeed. How many times did you fall and injure yourself before you learned to ride a bike? How many times did you fail an exam because you couldn't grasp the subject yet? How many of you gave up? How many of you persevered and gained the benefits of your hardwork?

Let me share with you a motivational poem, I've highlighted the parts which are most relevant to this topic. The entire poem is something you should recite and know by heart.



In the great words of Russell Peters... BE A MAN!

Yup that's my main point exactly, which is to always keeps a reality check. It's OK to have feelings, having hopes but don't let yourself consumed too much by it. It never hurts to be prepare for the worst (but not being totally negative), rather than not thinking about it and not be prepared.

...and the romanticist replies to the realist.


All the comforting and uplifting words in the world is not going to get you the attractive partner of your dreams if YOU ARE NOT WORTHY. You can make all the excuses you want..."not meant to be" ... bla bla bla ... "focusing on studies" ... bla bla bla... "dont want to get in their way because they are already taken" ... bla bla bla... and when you are thirty you will realize that you have lost out in the game of love and will have to settle for less.


Knowing your place before making a move is a good thing. Because then you can take steps to improve yourself (eg. eat well and hit the gym). When the time is right, romance will come...naturally...when you are attractive and you meet someone attractive who thinks you are attractive. People notice the "nice/good/charming" characteristics of people they are attracted to. THen love blooms.


LOVEY DOVEY POEMS _really_ apply to people who have found each other and who do not think they can do better.

Nope, read your post again, your main point was don't fall for someone cause rejection hurts and sucks. That's stupid, because you can't control attraction. Its worse when you don't know what you want because then you're easily confused. What I'm trying to push into the heads of people like you, is to have your own standards. Make sure people you want measure up to those standards.

You will inevitably fall for someone which people think are way too good for you, so what? Give it a try, if you were rejected, take a while to recuperate then go on with life. Life doesn't end with rejection, pain is a part of life. So there's no reason to avoid rejection.

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Added on March 6, 2009, 1:15 pm
I'm not good looking, I'm short, I'm not rich, I'm not very fashionable. Yet, you don't see me complaining, and I myself know how well I do with women Remember attraction is not all about looks, and love is not so easily defined. Just have some bloody standards, and you will see how much your life improves.

Did you read the poem I posted? It aint a love poem

This post has been edited by silverhawk: Mar 6 2009, 01:15 PM

oh wow excactly what i wanna say. you offer tuition? i need to learn from you. I mean writting.

The force is getting strong. Evangelistica is on the path of become a Jedi.

ohh wait, hawkie just bash him

EPIC FAIL @ READING.

I agree with Silverhawk's points.


Self confidence is King. Supreme. Numero Uno. The Big Boss. When a man is confident, he doesn't need to rely on other people to be happy. Gaining and maintaining strong self-confidence is a lifelong process, as a man should seek to constantly improve himself.
Things like having a good-looking body, being highly skilled at something, being knowledgeable and well read are all things that nobody can take away, and once a man has these his self-esteem also rises, everything else comes naturally, because in the pursuit of improving oneself that other things fall into place.

This post has been edited by ~LynX~: Mar 6 2009, 02:15 PM

Please keep in mind that these are for those who can't face rejection well. Not all have the same strength as U silverhawk or everybody else. I once almost kill myself because of rejection and now I learnt from that and know better. It's a stupid thing to do back then. Now I'm okay with it and in the future I'm confident I can manage to handle it.

This thread is created for:

1. A person who's so infatuated with someone that the idea of her rejection is NOT an option for him.
2. A person who is likely to beat himself up, feeling so miserable after rejection.

I've said it and I say it again. Rejection is harmless if the person accept it with an open mind and see it as a way to improve themselves BUT if they can't live with it, better not to confess if it will only lead them to their own demise.

That is why I say its bad advice. If you always run away from the pain, you'll never grow. You will always run from hardship because you don't want to get hurt. You don't dare to take risks. You never learn how to handle the pain, you never learn how to stand up again after falling. How is any of these attributes good?

All you're doing is encouraging these people to hide, letting them think its OK. Its not and they have to realise this.

Hmm you got a point there. Maybe 2 hours of write up last nite is not enough to well justify my point. I agree that hiding and not taking risks is unhealthy as you will be afraid to try.

So to those people who want to confess, go on confess. You know yourself better than anyone, what you capable and uncapable of. If you honestly can't handle the aftermath (being rejected of course), just be positive about it. Just dont turn yourself into a walking time bomb ready to obliterate anything, or anyone in your path. That's why I created this writing, to save you from yourself from walking the burning road that I've once taken.

Why should I give a break to people who are giving bad advice to others?

I know how you were, you seem better now... but doesn't that just prove that rejection isn't all that bad? You'll get over it. Its not the end of the world if you get rejected, you don't have to please everyone ya know

im also poor, ugly and very bad

It's a good guide no doubt, but I won't follow the guideline because after reading, i feel it's going to be hard to confess and may even put you in doubt.

Whoa easy there... thanks for backing me up. But I'm fine with it actually, at least people are discussing it..Yup you're right I'm just sharing from all of my failures, and it seems that all of it are similar from one rejection to another, because I've tend to fall for my girl-friends. It's not easy for a guy like me to know (or approach) some stranger to start a conversation. I've tried that and it just scare them away most of the time. The girls I know, is all within friends circle. So I thought, maybe I could use my experience to share, for those who are lonely like me, to give them some thoughts if they fall in love with their girl-friends..

I justified it no? I gave my points and why its bad advice and how people should think of themselves.

Do you think I've not been in their shoes? Its no secret here that I'm short, I don't have brad pitt's face, I'm not rich, I survived high school with only RM20 a month allowance and NONE during college. Did I let that deter me? No I did not. It wasn't easy of course, it never is, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try in the first place.

The simple fact is, you don't know my life and the things I've been through. Neither do I presume to know the hardships of others. However there is one thing that I do know, you will never overcome your problems if you run from it.


I'm going to give these 2 lines more attention.

I'm not here to batter his self-esteem, but to not allow him and others who read his "advice" to keep making the same mistakes. If I really wanted to batter his self esteem, that signature of his would likely become reality. You see, you probably don't know how TS used to be, most of us were here and saw how bitter he was. He's slightly better now, but that darkness is still in him, it shouldn't be there.

Whether you believe it or not, I'm here to help people. I've already helped quite a few people get back on their feet and have more positive outlooks in life. Sometimes I'm a meanie, I know this, but sometimes, its just necessary.

This post has been edited by silverhawk: Mar 6 2009, 04:30 PM

rejection is a bless. at least the girls were being honest.

OMIGAWD i love this line

its a forum
TS opened up a topic for discussion
and i think silverhawk has every rights to agree or disagree

if you think silverhawk is fault finding with ts, try look in another perspective, are you not finding fault with silverhawk too in this instance?

I believe I wrote this without any malice, and I re-read my posts and I don't see how I was unkind to him. The only way I may have been unkind, is smiting them with the cruel hammer of reality.

I have no problem with you agreeing or disagreeing with me
I do like a good exchange of ideas/opinions. Since its quite obvious you're disagreeing with me here, or at least playing devil's advocate, rationalise your points to me and show me the error of my ways.

its clear that he isn't finding any faults based on his postings
he is trying to point out to TS that its not as bleak as it seems
rejections depending on how you look at it maybe a blessing in disguise

kind sentences sometimes can only do so much until some one knock some senses in you in a sarcastic manner

and it seems to me the malice intention part was based on your assumption
if you are here long enough, silverhawk's posting almost always carries no malice and in this in thread, i've read his postings again and againt, yet i fail to find any malice in his postings

perhaps a bit too straight forward if you ask me to really find faults in his postings and apply the hollier than thou attitude


This post has been edited by ^Hobbes^: Mar 6 2009, 05:10 PM

From the look of it, discussion been great so far.

there are oways 3 sides of things in ALL discussion.

- left side and right side which are equally have their valid points

- and backside (hidden points that is hard to decipher, caused by too deep usage of language/or the other way round:bad grammar) LOL

appreciate everybody's input.

Rileks rileks jangan gado gado..

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Added on March 6, 2009, 5:11 pmHaha you remember me ya? Well that was back then when I was naive and infatuated. And hell yeah that darkness still resides in me. Don't get me wrong once you know me personally, I'm a friendly person, just not that happy go lucky type because that's not me. What can I say, I am what I am, I love being gloomy.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 6 2009, 05:12 PM

miao


Tak gado bang, jangan risau


Yes, I remember
Its ok to be who you want to be, but just ask yourself, is this who you really want to be? You don't have to justify to me or anyone here. Just ask yourself the question, and answer it to yourself.

I strongly agree to silver's "be a man". What doesnt kill u, only make u stronger.

But then again, it comes with ALOT of stuff to consider.

For those high on hormones, dont barge in and confess to a supermodel-like girl that was chaffeured to school in a limo, while you yourself barely know how to comb your hair properly and wearing that one-week old singlet.

This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Mar 6 2009, 05:25 PM

not bad. good one.
maybe u can try typing on girls confessing on guys?

Have the answer already. And by the way the signature just temporary one so no worries. I'm a designer and love to play around with "emotionally impactful designs".

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Added on March 6, 2009, 5:31 pmI think it's almost the same. Have to know girls to survey first and write my findings.. hehe

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 6 2009, 05:31 PM

honestly, on first read, i really thought that there are sense in your post...

but after reading hawk's comment, well, i do find what he states is correct as well,

lets just say this, in short...

go out, have fun, meet people while you are having fun, and things will...blossom from there, trust me...=)

i got dump by a girl who is thinking of her ex all the time while she is with me.. her ex is damn perfect .. damn..
although i'm mentally prepare for broke up.. but it still hurts..

no one is really "prepared" for break ups/rejection

well, if you really have no feel for those, well, you don't really like that person after all, right?=)

mods sticky this ! good stuff

what about aftermath for a girl to confess..?

nice one TS, should be helpful for lots of ppl.

props TS, the truth hurts though lol.

Nice guide. I've been rejected once, while the girl is my best female friend i can say. She rejected me kindly enough, and we're still best friends now and we chat almost everything!
*But we never go for any outing, swt

hehe my case is like spoiler #2. I put her in a dilemma. I was the 'too late' guy. So as a gentleman, I backed down and off to the stars!

Im sorry to say, but there are some misleads and hypocrisy involves in this article of yours.



I have no idea what you're talking here but if i have to tell you the truth, beauty is IN the eye of beholder. Are you trying to tell the whole world that we are superficial when judging a concept of beauty just because you had been rejected numerous times? If a lady with hotness and sexiness walks in front of you and you were attracted to her (keeping an eye on her), are you trying to tell me that you are superficial with your thoughts? Sounds like hypocrisy here. Or maybe you're telling me that when women keep rejecting you, to a certain point you believed that you had 'enough' thus concluding its all superficial to you and so the whole world must know that if a person had been rejected thousand times, women must be actually be saying that you're not handsome? Well, sucks to be you but i still have to tell you the truth that beauty is still in the eye of beholder because we are always attracted to attractive things regardless the standards that we possess in ourselves. Beauty itself is a whole subjective matter. Your point is invalid when you summarize that beauty is just about look and appearance itself. Your look, your problem. Deal with it. Pointless to tell the whole world that we are not the beholder of beauty. And no, we are not superficial creature. Your ego is.

The problem with you is not about your looks. Some of them who rejected you might said it right but the truth still remains where you yourself do not actually know how women think differently than men and how they decide whats best for them. Even, if any miraculous event happen in your life when all of sudden you're a good looking man, i still believe you lack the confidence to actually learn more about the women which is why you always lost your step when approaching them or try to escalate from a friendship level. Yes you do see the mirror everyday, but unfortunately, it reflected your ego if you give it a deep thought about it.



And how exactly you're going to do that when uncertainties lingering inside your mind? If i must say something about this, confession isn't actually gambling. Its just an expression of suppressed feelings you had for the other. If you're going in with an expectation of getting a partner without considering what she wants and needs plus the problems that she faces, then of course you're likely to fail as it gets uncertain especially when the hints aren't strong enough for you to interpret them as CERTAINTY. Confession isn't a competition. Its not about how you want to hear yes rather than no. Its about how you move on from either yes or no and continue your life with extra responsibilities.

You wanna deal with rejection, you gotta have something else aside from her to be cherish which is yourself. An easy step to actually BE prepared for any unlikely circumstances is to actually understand that it takes two way to build a street towards relationship. Two yes = yes. One yes or one uncertain = no ( need more time and space and understanding). And most of the time people have tendency to put all their eggs into one basket. If you can deal with the pain and live your life with positivity, then its good but how do you 'quantify and qualify' the damage? You yourself know better. Best way, put yourself first in front of her and at the same time don't be selfish. Loving yourself isn't about being a selfish prick who wants every chick to die at his fingertips or get a woman just for the sake of getting a woman. Its about how you 'diverse' the risk and lower the magnitude of pain (differs from individual to individual as the magnitude of pain is proportionate to how you're going to heal yourself thoroughly) and live your life better and also to be progressive towards your life goals. Relationship after all, is not actually as 'lovey-dovey' as it seems no matter how happy you are when you get an acceptance. Its how you move on from either of the result of the confession.



Without pain, a person would not grow to reach his ideal state (assuming here a better and stronger person is an ideal state). But if he chose to be a sadist and tell the whole world how sympathetically he is, what is there to gain? Some points are agreeable & valid and the above are the one i strongly disagree. Its the wrong message conveyed out there by you. Your improvisation towards your life right now is an appetizer to my breakfast this morning but if you want to convince people more about your changes, how about change the siggy as a start? A positive advice is very unlikely comes from a negative person. Like a friend of mine pointed out, 'How can a poor teach the others to be a millionaire where he himself is poor?'

Truth to be told, there is no need for such article to be written. You wanna tell how people deal with rejections, the first thing you should do is open their mind with possibilities not reality. IF you realize something in your article, is that you're actually projecting your sadness, ego, hurt, sympathy and many more negativity inside such article. Is that the right way to project it to readers? Its like indirectly telling how total loser you are if you were to ask my inner thoughts after being indifferent towards your article. Im still looking forward , to how you going to improvise on yourself. THAT is more 'exciting' to read and anticipate about. And please understand more about women. You still lack the attitude and knowledge to confront them.

So you're implying a realist can't be romantic? Or perhaps a realist isn't supposed to be romantic, because it isn't suppose to be practiced in reality?

This post has been edited by peinsama: Mar 7 2009, 09:26 AM

whoa, another long post by pein...
doesn't mean that it's bad though...i like your post...

seriously, to add to that, you really don't have to "live with the rejection", you can "move on"...lolz

one yes, one uncertain, does not really mean no though...with enough time and understanding, there is a possibility, but never force/advance in the wrong way...it will turn out to be a no, really

still, as with those said, just go out, meet people, and have fun...while you are enjoying yourself, with the company around you...someone will really see you attractive as who you are, even while you are studying, it is a fun process if you can make it one...=)

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: Mar 7 2009, 09:45 AM

Knowing your "style", I understand you have your own perceptions. And trust me you and I in this or the next lifetime will never be on the same page on many levels. We're totally different and I can't imagine you and I sitting in the same room for 10 minutes. However I honestly appreciate your concern for me, and your words of wisdom. But the truth is, you have your own thoughts, your own experiences, your own life and I've experienced mine. I can never understand yours and you can never understand mine. Please don't assume to know me by just reading my writings.

What I'm telling here is what will happen for a person who's naive if they fall for / becomes infatuated with a female friend, and the possibilities of ruining a friendship is very likely to happen if the person got rejected if both or either party wont handle it seriously. I just dont want people who will experience it, ended up the way like I did. That's why it sounded so gloomy, because after all my encounters falling in love with my female friends, then got rejected by them, that's exactly what have happened. The friendship ruined even I've honestly tried to make amends. I'm not saying not to confess, but if you can't handle the rejection, better dont if you become so infatuated and rejection is not an option for you. It will only leads you to your own demise and sour/lose your friendship. If you treasur your friendship, better dont. This is a situation for those naive people who falls in love with their close friend, or scenario like that. What he will possibly encounters if things like that happened.

You said quite a handful about people who fails to understand women. Maybe you're good at it, well good for you and good being you. But for guys like me, the only women I knew is the ones in my friend circle. That's all. It's not easy for me to approach some strangers, getting to know them. If we can exchange bodies, then you'd understand. How can guy like me understand women, if they immediately close the door? And please don't assume I blindly approach them for her numbers etc etc.. I'm not that stupid / desperate. And please NEVER assume I approached the hot ones, I'm not that shallow...

In the end, I just want to give the idea of possibilities of what will happen, because that possibility happened in reality. So the naive guy who falls in love with a colleague, or a friend will know what he's getting himself into. It might ended up well, or if not well taken care of, it might turns bad and the costs is losing a friendship once built. In the end it all came down to both of the parties to handle the aftermath.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 7 2009, 10:30 AM

... you really sound bitter...and with that signature of yours, i really hope that you would remove that first, and also remove the idea of suicidal in your mind

i really would recommend you a friend to talk to, whom you are comfortable with, or a clinical psychologist...not that you have some abnormalities in your thoughts, but you just need someone to really listen to you and understand you...

perhaps, you really need to enjoy life just once, to notice how much is there that you would have probably overlooked, those whom had a genuine concern for you, and really enjoyed your company

if you are able to portray that you are enjoying yourself to those who are near you, and show genuine concern for those around you, you are really bound to succeed in a relationship and time is only the factor

beauty as said, is really in the eye of the beholder, you just need to believe in this...

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: Mar 7 2009, 10:33 AM

I didn't realize how suicidal bitter my writing was. Hehe.. Haiyya that signature just for fun only la.. I change it frequently because I like it to be change once in a while, Im a designer and I love doing emo-design, not means Im suicidal. I'm way past beyond that stage. Okayla I change it later. let me design something 1st..

wow, a thread about fail without failing eventhou the huge amount of contain about fail. Awesome thread =D!
First time thumbs up to u

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Added on March 7, 2009, 10:58 amya, never write about that.
got girl confess to me i donno what to say cause in mind already got other target

This post has been edited by BelowAverage: Mar 7 2009, 10:58 AM

If i had a chance to exchange my soul and mind to you, i can guran-damn-tee i will make your body to go and approach women and learn more about them. No doubt about it. The only thing that separates both of us is that i choose my thoughts according to what i want. I dare to fail more than you and i have a strong will to succeed. You seriously should hang on and trust to your own free will. Unfortunately, you had use it to your disadvantages. Not to mention solidifying what is already worse.

If you expect people to understand your situation, yes, we can give you the sympathy and the attention and also the acknowledgement of your own situation on how bitter and suffering it is. But let me ask you a question, 'How far are you able to grow after we do give you those three?' How would you able to to help yourself by telling us all your experiences? At the end of the day, its still YOU are the one that should change. Not us. You just have to prove us that you're as good as us. Make the right choice.

You might as well have courage and change your own situation instead of whining how women should at least open-up to you. Its how you present yourself to create an image and impression towards the woman's perception about you. I can't say much especially when im not there to look actually what went wrong between you and the women you'd approach. There are definitely mistakes that you have done. Perhaps you're the silent type, or perhaps you're not capable of carrying yourself to make a decent conversation or maybe the woman herself isn't interesting as well. Whatever it is, please don't count your failures. What's the point? Can you exactly tell me what's the point of telling me how often women rejecting you? As if i'd never been rejected. Its about how you deal with it and carry on with your life with the new enriched experiences. Learn from it. I don't count my trophies nor do i count my mistakes. The only thing that matters to me, is to be confident every time and every where i go. If others think im shy and silent, well what can i do. Yeah it sucks because it differs from what i tried to portray to them. But its their beliefs and i still gotta prove to them im otherwise through my own characteristics and persona rather than telling them i'm not what they think i am. I don't go dwell and count my disappointments as a failure. I use that to my own advantage and build meself a better person.

You only live once. I don't care whether im going to be resurrected again or not. I only care, before im being whipped and boiled in hell by Saddam himself and his comrades or perhaps being adored by the beautiful ponies or chicas in heaven, i just make sure i live good before i'm sent to either hell or heaven.

Whether the women is hot or not, its a subjective matter. In this case, im not going to debate on how shallow you are or not. Im not entitled to make a judgment on that.



Yes it all boils down to handle the aftermath. And sir, what and how do you suggest to handle such aftermath? Aren't your thread is about dealing more with expectations before the underlying outcomes occur? Isn't it more interesting on how to deal with the aftermath of broken heart? Or is it more interesting for people to understood the averse way and hopefully wouldn't get rejected thus smaller the chances to get hurt? Which is more interesting here? Last i checked even Marius Panzarella or David Deangelo can't guarantee a relationship unless you're being content and know that yourself is a complete being and being appreciative towards what was given to you by nature. Even they insist that its all about choices you make.

My advices and suggestions here is simple. DO help yourself first. That's the best gift you will receive in your whole life.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Mar 7 2009, 12:18 PM

Whatever la pein...kamu memang bijak bermain kata.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 7 2009, 12:26 PM

you know the term of why get lucky, while you can get smart?

people come and go in and out of your life, the point is, how you turn this to your advantage and turn those who came once into your life and turn them into someone whom you can call a potential partner...

people who wanna get lucky will just sit around and wait something happen to them, while those who get smart will play their 'game' in a some type of way...it could be a bad game, or a good game, but how to turn a bad game into a good game is with experience

You have good intentions, and some of the things you say, makes sense. It is still the wrong message to send though. Its like telling people not to drive or sit in cars because they might get into an accident, and you know how bloody fatal some accidents are. So I hope with that little analogy, you can understand why we look down upon your advice.

no, we don't look down on your advice, but...well, it has it's limitations to it...and it's not minor...

make a version 2 out and let pein and silvy check it out 1st, XD

Oh yeah... sry for the assumption.

Gotta say, nice poem. It's familiar... I think i did it in highschool.

yeap, and its sad that although almost everyone did it in high school, most never learnt anything from it.

LOL @ guys who easily fall for girls, after a merely few meetings/conversations

Sorry nothing can be state as aftermath, Are you telling people do not try anything which will not going to benefit yourself by confessing toward someone you really care in your life even you fail from it? if yes then Sorry I'm going disagree against it!

I won't consider much about whether worth or not worth to try it out, you will never success in anything if you think so much into what're the "aftermath" or been rejected. plain simple logically way learn from mistakes and carry on or try your best to succeed it!

It's true that never try then you'll never know. But I just don't want people who have the same tendencies/traits/characteristics like me back then to be in a state of self distruct time bomb or worse, became a stalker / psychopath as a result of rejection from a friend that they truly became infatuated with. People like these (sorry) should be restrain from ever confessing if they know deep inside their hearts that rejection is NOT an option for them, and what are they capable of after that..Thank God that I've come down to my senses and finally live with it ( took me a whole year though), but let say if I wasn't, I'm guessing you'd be reading about a serial rapist / psycopath at large in southern Malaysia..

if they are "like" u
then they might end up like u

hurray!!! no serial rapist

wow you need physical therapy. Yes it hurts being rejected, but it is just not strong enough to change a person into a psycho, and its not even close.

Judging from your posts, you look like a fragile man who can't deal with reality. Instead of moving on, you choose to contain yourself with painful feeling and more likely lead to negetive personality change.

That was me back then. When I was infatuated and too drowned with my feelings, and to be honest I wasn't prepare mentally for her rejection. As far as I'm concern (and dreamed), I was seriously gonna make it. And to make it worst, her rejection wasn't a kind one, and that coming from a friend believe it or not.

Now I'm okay and moving on with life dear sir. I just use my worst experience so that people "like me" might learn something from it.

Glad to know that you are alright, you got an ironic siggy tho.
I been in the situation like you did. I felt like I was gonna make it too, but ended up being hit hard. The world was grey and all the shit but never once I thought about doing something stupid.

I got over it after months. Guess what? The girl didn't mind what happened and still sees me as a part of her life, as a best friend. However, my love blindfold was unfolded and I only see the bad sides of her. No I no longer want to spend time with her nor tolarance any of her shit. Not gonna hide my true personality and honest intention.

In the end I ended up losing a best friend, but I didn't have any intention of saving it nor i regreted my actions. I am glad I confeseed and ended my silly dream with her. If i did not do it back then, I am positive that I will regret on wasting my life on her.

I see no consequences on confessing to love one. You either make out with her or you don't. And you have no idea what is coming in the future. Confess is never a wrong move.

I am sure that the person wants more than best friend if he/she is ready to confess. Holding back isn't the true intention and best friend means only friend. Afraid of losing her? No she ain't yours, what you got to lose?

This post has been edited by Anni: Mar 10 2009, 12:30 PM

You're right, once we crossed that line, the friendship is at stake. And by the way that siggy is just for the fun of it. I always change it, im a designer and i love creating emo n goth design. will change to another one shortly. perhaps my fav band Kamelot or Daughtry. Haha...

A mere friendship won't kill anyone right.

In the end, guys buff up and go for the girls. less hesatation more action.

I'll be surprised if anyone (especially the idiotic juvenille ones here can even process what you just typed) would actually learn anything from what you just layed out without having to resort to personal flaming that you are one hell of a sad a55.

Afterall, you wrote this based on your own personal experience. Be happy if even one soul can relate to it. Otherwise, don't even bother thinking that what you went through can speak volumes about the mass generalizations that gravitate around guys being lousy dating material or whatnot.

Whatever.. this is Malaysia and last time I check, everyone is entitle to write stuff in internet, as long as ito doesn't provoke too much. And everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you don't agree, please do so but your make sure approach doesn't sound offensive, because it almost sounded like one. I'm not forcing anyone to accept ya, Mr Kegekiyo?..

Good Advice

thx for the sharing...

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Added on March 10, 2009, 10:00 pmthx for the sharing...

This post has been edited by cutiepooh: Mar 10 2009, 10:00 PM

it was a piece of good work.. for me, it was well written..
but u ought to be more positive and optimistic lor..
guys who are courageous and armed with fighting spirit would be ..
what doesnt kill u makes u stronger

Thanks but It's not actually an advice (depends on how you view it), I never intended to did that. Just something to think off.

u know what,let the f**ing idea bright up the mind..this is true experience from his life so others can take precaution..

silverhawk,y not u write some positive advise that all can judge read like this not to bash TS so badly..u hv ur opinion,say it loud..

every person is different..this advise is good for whom to make a backup plan for declare his/her love

This post has been edited by ecchan87: Mar 25 2009, 03:37 AM

a bump for a good article!

ok first silverhawk gtfo and stop flaming ppl who made such effort regardless its not what u think its right or not. We are made so indifferently that our point of view varies, how do we define love and shiat are not the same. As Ts already mentioned this post is particularly for the weak-hearted and inexperienced. But guess what, i was on the same boat exactly what ts wrote, and i think there is a need to understand fully the outcome of rejection.
So shouldnt you be saving up all ur time bashing other post with lengthy paragraphs and make your own post instead? ill be glad to read

hehe thanks for the free bumps

Thanks for this thread TS this is really going to help me and everyone else who needs such advise and again thanks!

I would not like to think it as an advice, but something to learn from my personal experience. Something to think off.

TS, never teach gals how to propose??

wow dude, this is good! keep it up!