Er your post regarding Chinese not so accurate. Again as I said so many of my friends making RM5k, now engage or already married.

However money does help. The girl need to feel that you can proceed for her and the kid.

money plays an important part in family upbringing

without money you cannot maintain the minimum quality of life, go to school, have nice food, go holidays once in awhile.

but do not put too much focus on it else it will eat you up. buy only what u can afford do not wear a bigger hat than ur head... prioritize

True. Minimum amount of money is needed for any relationship. But it's not the ultimate cheat code or the main issue.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 3 2023, 10:24 AM

I feel you are quite right. Many friends around me saying the same thing.

You got looks, you are at least (I AM SAYING AT LEAST) 50% ahead in the game.

Why? Because I know of a guy, the looks quite good but he no money. The gf willing to pay for his everything just to make sure she gets to keep him as a trophy bf. Many girls want these kind of trophy bf.

I think u missed my point.
Level 1: look
Level 2: money
Generally, u need to pass level 1 first before u go to level 2. Nobody knows your wealth before they know you first.

That's why many people make it so that their wealth is obvious.

Nice car, nice clothes, nice watch, hangout at expensive places, spending power and etc etc. Make it visible on social media and in real life.

Ain't this the hard truth. I do believe there is always someone out there for you. But that someone, if you set a level 9 in looks, while you are only level 4-5, susah kan? Urban city, most girls who know there are a 8-10, will utilize it to their advantage because they get a lot more admirers probably, hence they have choices. In reality, you can't blame them. They also want the best available to them. And they make use of their looks if they have it.

Likewise for ladies who aren't good looking but have enough moolah, they spend their way to your heart if you are poorfag but at least reasonably good looking and are generally nice all round.

Guys are no different lah. If good looks, they know girls will come knocking. Ada duit, takde duit, will depend on the girl already. If not good looking but willing to fling money around, they will also come knocking.

In all fairness, there are pretty or rich girls, who don't care whether you are super good looking or super capable/rich. As long as you don't look like 1-2 or poor till staying with parents and cannot to even afford your own small apartment/house. Some, they value personality, charisma, kindness, ambition (if you're young).

Ask yourself lah, you wouldn't want someone who leeches on you all the time, no ambition, nothing. Let's be real, if I was a multi-millionaire, I don't mind having one of them pretty lasses who can't do anything in life but provides a good BJ and FJ, pandai pujuk pujuk and is nice to me. They just want money only mah. It will be a real bonus if they also really like you. Everyone dreams of that.

Thus, the likelihood is, we settle. Settle for someone reasonable looking, reasonable career and whatever criteria they see fit; kindness, adventurous, can cook, Basically, to complement our current status.

Then, the trick is to stop looking, once settled. If we don't stop, there will always be someone better out there. Always.

Apa takut? Anything its not your fault right, its her. Just tell the dude "Hey, warmed up her up for you, have fun"


Lots of people saying it doesn't mean its true. Especially if most of them are not good looking and have bitter experiences.

Yes, looks play some role.. but to women its really not as important as you think. The #1 thing to a woman is their emotion, their feelings. Looks help you because it gives them that immediate feeling of attraction, but it can just as easily go away if you're a deadbeat loser or do something stupid. Likewise, you can be average and still catch their heart, and it won't matter that other people are better looking, she'll think you're the best.

Guarantee this relationship won't last.

come on.

Dont tell me that you have never seen poor average looking couple before?

If you could not find any, maybe the problem is you. You could not accept a girl that has neither looks nor wealth too.

share my experience, to be frank, i rarely see gold digger in real life, maybe i dont mingle with people who drink.

And some girls that i friend with, they told me that, a good man as in treat gf good, can cook, spend time with partner etc. Yes, all these traits are things that most girls always say they want. But in the end, it is just added point.

The kind of points that can be added if you have a acceptable look, height and good humor.

I was enlightened that i know why i lost out in dating market. I can't even meet the minimum requirement of look and/or charm. Lol

This is the kind of experience I am experiencing now.

Whether we can fulfill their emotional needs or whatever, it needs to go through looks first.

Some of my female colleagues and friends said, if they can't look past the looks, they won't even try to get to know the person cause they 'assume' (strong word) that they won't be attracted to the guy long term.

it applies to both genders in my opinion and i agree with your female colleagues and friends. Either you lower your expectation to C grade look girls (or even lower) and hope that someone may be ok with you. Other way is, improve your charisma as in the way you speak, interesting common topic to share. Something like use charisma to cover the lacking part of look. Of coz, you may get lucky to know some girls who look great and accept you.

Otherwise, if can't, may just end up like me, look and charisma also lacking, but can't lower my expectation from A, B grade look girls. I know i will be single till my death, i am not happy about single life, but i still not going to change (stubborn and as what your female colleagues and friends said: "can't get pass the exterior requirement, dont talk about long term life together"). Not to mention, age matter also affect on guy, option is not that much open compared to girls. Girls who are 10 years younger than me saying i am too old for them. And money is not an issue. As i said, I haven't really see a gold digger yet in my life.

This post has been edited by gundamsp01: Feb 4 2023, 07:00 PM

I've tried going on dates or approaching stranger girls purposely dress out of my league myself (smarter), most people have a longer lasting impression when initially meeting each other.

If you couldnt change your look, you must change your fashion immediately. You can buy some time for a girl willing to respond to you

What do you want from us, TS? Many have given their opinions how you can turn it around but TS only keep harping on the same thing over and over again. Such strong negative vibes and resistance to good suggestions from so many here.

I think TS should try this.

IMO women's perception on look is not just face only, but the whole package.

Add new wardrobe, more stylish haircut n nice deodrant n perfume.

Hahahahaha why compare yourself to this guy who makes you feel bad? "Many girls" is just your stereotype because of 1 case that you know. What about the other 99 couples that you know?

Ever heard of the saying that goes: the best investment you can make is in yourself? So invest in yourself.
What does this mean? Upskill yourself. A man who is knowledgeable or has a variety of skills is charming. This meaning reading books that'll benefit you/ enrolling in courses with things to learn etc. Self improvement is so crucial these days if you're looking for quality lifestyle. People who don't keep up will be left behind. So yeah while looks will probably get that person halfway somewhere but still, if you're looking for long term relationship, personality and the depth of a person's character still matters imo.

===

Additional points <<since you were harping about looks>>

- Grooming: Decent haircut which don't even require high expenses. Shave (or not, depending on your preference) if it's neater for you.

- Clothes: Appear neat & tidy. Fashion didn't have to be expensive or overdoing it. When you have the extra budget (ie. from bonus), get yourself some decent top or pants. Even IGR/ Tik Tok has multiple fashion tips on the kind of matching clothes you can play around with.

- Physique: If you think you're overweight, try to reduce some weight so you'll feel better about yourself and gain some confidence.

Also, even if you think you don't look good - it may not be the case for some ladies out there. Perhaps 1 tip that can help... try to enhance your appearance by making sure your face is clear from blemishes/ acne etc. Go to the dermatologist if you have skin issues and get them rectified. The more confident you feel about yourself, the more attractive you'll appear. And seriously, who doesn't like a confident person? (well, don't be overconfident though or that may seem snobbish).

Now ask yourself how much effort you're willing to put in to look better. If you're going to keep using physical trait as an excuse, then you're doomed to fall back into this loop every time you fail to meet someone.

This post has been edited by sweet_pez: Feb 7 2023, 11:41 AM

Actually, for TS, why bother going into a relationship?

When you stop giving a fuck to how people view you, then you can start building your core intrinsic values.

I refused to believe the world has proceeded to such a state that less endowed persons cannot find happiness in a partner.

Maybe you are looking at the wrong place.


You dont need to be good looking or rich to score, while it certainly helps.. Work on something others don't have. Girls are not stupid. Being rich and handsome is another can of worms they need to deal with in the future also...usually to their own disadvantage....riches and beauty are fleeting attributes...they know it the best.

I'm telling you there are a good majority of girls looking for a life partner that would settle for an average man that can cook for them more than anything else.

I like the way you think.
Men who cooks and clean get the upper hand anytime! At least in my books

Haha...right on sis.

TS needs to dig deep into what makes a girl tick. Ultimately all girls want is a father figure or what they think or wish thier father could be to thier mom. Read the musings of Carl Yung and the Electra Complex.

No point TS goes after girls that want a rich guy or a good looking man....he's playing out of his league and girls that want that hasn't really figured out what's really important in a life partner.

That said, I'm not discounting the biological and cultural precedents of putting emphasis on wealth and appearance. It certainly helps your case to have either or both. But that's not the end of the world if you don't.

Do you have a sense of humour? are you well read and spoken? Can you whip up a Michelin star meal? Are you willing to help with house chores as a family man taking care of the household? Some people will inevitably say you are a beta to do it but I can assure you, if a girl finds an alpha willing to go to that level to do those things for her, I'm sure you find many girls wet between the legs for you.