why TS went for a girl 6 years older?
TS hoping to eat slipper rice thats why when girl ask to pay for wedding he grumble?
or maybe girl after 30 not worth it even for 12k wedding

Sigh... all the good women are taken.

Uncle, you're understanding like my parents.

There are still good women out there - be yourself, socialize and you'll find your other half one day.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 5:00 pmA suggestion from me would be to cherish the person instead of what he or she can give you in material terms.

This post has been edited by SPS: May 12 2009, 05:00 PM

But basic necessity must have, like we have our own place to stay and can live comfortably.

Why are you running down women who date younger men?

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Added on May 12, 2009, 5:09 pmNo one's denying that basic needs are necessities or that destitution is certainly not a prefered way of life.

What I disagree with are the neanderthals who insist a woman's sole mission in marriage life is how much her husband can provide for her in material terms. The marriage vows of "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" is subsumed by greedy materialism.

Education has unlocked many doors for women and they can earn their own keep. It's utterly foolish to expect a woman to be independent and self-reliant yet simulateously function as a money leech to her spouse.

This post has been edited by SPS: May 12 2009, 05:09 PM

Based on TS quote on his other thread:

"Couple of situations I'm already aware of.

1) Friend bought a RM250 necklace for his GF on her bday."

His is also thinking RM250 is too big deal for a one year event.

First I need to stress I am not rich too but if I like a girl I won't mind. My dad has money and I haven't ask him money to say please sponsor and If I need money for gf I won't ask him. I need to strive hard and mind you, I did spend my whole month's salary once to get a expensive present for my dad(when I just started working) and for a girl I wouldn't mind, stop whining TS, how much you are willing to spend on your gf will tell you how much you love them.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 05:14 PM

In essence, your statement means multi-millionaires love their spouses the most since they can afford to buy fancy sports cars and hermes handbags for them.

Duh....

That is really quite unusual. A few years older is nothing...but 6 years?

What happened to the girls his age? Why is he settling for a girl six years older?


TS, you know the answer to that question.

Hmm....at 1st I thought TS was justified, but then again, looking over the situation & all, this is how I see it:-

1) A wedding is a once in a lifetime event for a couple. Granted, some ppl (like TS, yourself & to an extent mtself too perhaps) dont see it as a "big deal" & would prefer keeping the cash for other uses rather than splurge on a lavish wedding.
2) TS fiance on the other hand, thinks otherwise, which is in my opinion is equally acceptable. Come to think about it, even I would feel kinda sad 20 years down the road if I dont even have decent wedding pics
3) TS has relatively decent financial means
4) TS has time to save up
5) Above 2 points show that TS has the means to fulfill his fiances wishes without having to go to any extreme options (borrowing from ah long etc) & yet is reluctant to. Probably this is what peeved off his fiance to begin with.

This post has been edited by joe_star: May 12 2009, 05:31 PM

be it Rm250 or Rm25 still couldnt justify the love from him to her. how bout if the guy spend rm1000 for a necklace as her bday necklace yet didnt bother to put in affords to celebrate with her?

lol. i also dun believe love should be represented thru material sense. Unless the guy desperately wanted to get the girl's attention, to tell her how much he loves her, and willing to use up all his money to flourish gifts for her...

It seems that despite the widespread availability of education, there are still a number of folks in Malaysia who believe in some caveman postulation that only the man provides and the woman is the receiver.

good parents raise their children to earn their keep


even if TS worked hard to save tht 12k , i bet more money problem will come even after they marry .
Wife might not want to help chip in for house loan ? Water bill ? Electric bill ?
TS might die working his ass out .

Yes , its man duty to pay for the food on the table , but isnt it a wifes duty to SUPPORT the husband as well ?

i dont know wheter TS is having a good job with good pay and he is just plain stingy , or he might be working as a waiter working his ass off .
But what i can see from him talking bout his GF that his GF is not willing to support him .

Wheter its guy responbility to pay for marriage its hard to say , bcoz at this era , woman work and earn their keep also , its not 19 century where virgins who don read books are married off at age of 16 .

At this modern age ,
Man and woman are both responsible to bring up their family ,
Woman should help out with financial burden , while man should help out with house chore , upbringing of children , kids tuiton , etc etc .
Man who comes home from work and juz wait for dinner are jerks .

This post has been edited by zacharyyeo: May 12 2009, 06:00 PM

Why waste the effort and expense of ensuring your children have a sound education if they are not going to put it to good use i.e. make a living for themselves?

I would be ashamed of my children if after obtaining their degrees, they went about attempting to sponge money off men. Thankfully, they are level-headed and sensible enough to support their other halves and contribute to happy relationships just as my wife does for me.

This post has been edited by SPS: May 12 2009, 06:04 PM

FYI in caveman time, the wife will go out gather fruits the man will go out hunt for animals for meat, so they're equal provider.

2000 years ago during jesus times, man and woman are still equal provider, the husband and wife will farm together, so they're still equal provider.

Its the modern industrial age that changes things, the man started to work at factories and woman stayed at home take care of children.

See...you're again wrong

When I mention caveman time at my other thread I was refering to security issue.

This post has been edited by moorish: May 12 2009, 06:04 PM

Spare us your cheap and inaccurate history lessons about gender conditions.

For quality information regarding gender roles and how education has empowered BOTH men and women, I recommend the following book:

Gender Education & Equality in a Global Context
Conceptual Frameworks and Policy Perspectives
By Shailaja Fennell, Madeleine Arnot


In the 21st century, MORE women are working productively than ever before at any point in history. BOTH parents take care of their children.
Due primarily to education and a more effective dissemination of quality information.

Read about real social conditions before you debate with me about this subject.

u remind me of my DAD LOL

What I meant is what they give in relation to their income, yes thought is the most important but that doesn't mean you must give a cheap gift, secondly of course the guy must also remember the gf/wife birthday and celebrate the birthday.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 6:20 pmI don't agree with this quote:

"At this modern age ,
Man and woman are both responsible to bring up their family ,
Woman should help out with financial burden , while man should help out with house chore , upbringing of children , kids tuiton , etc etc .
Man who comes home from work and juz wait for dinner are jerks ."

My dad was working and waiting dinner serve and my mom is a housewife. My dad work 12 hours sometimes a day and one person can bring up the family, so I doubt my dad is a jerk coz he waited for the dinner.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:20 PM

I am a dad

These materialistic women love to twist archaic notions such as "men should be the sole breadwinner" to their advantage so as to further their agenda of promoting gold-digging ways.

Availability of quality education and empowerment of both men and women is utterly wasted on such myopic folks.

Thankfully, the world has a growing number of similarly empowered men and women, otherwise one would see regression in societal advancement socially, culturally, technologically, etc. Unfortunately, Malaysia has a lot of catching up to do in that area.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 6:28 pmWhy must a gift be expensive to matter? Why must everything done or provided for be in relation to income levels?

If your parents had no complaint about the above arrangement, who are you and I to dispute that?

I am not challenging the role or function of sole breadwinners in a nuclear family structure.

What I do challenge is the notion of women insisting that men should provide everything for them without offering to share burdens or being reciprocal in helping out.

I assume the wedding vow of "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" need not apply to the likes of you.

This post has been edited by SPS: May 12 2009, 06:28 PM

I am not trying to be religious here and I don't claim to be religious, but since someone posted and talked on the religion so I put a quote from the bible:

"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. "

I believe that since man is stronger, he has more obligations to provide than a woman. I am not saying women shouldn't share the burden but since it's the man that wants to marry, then pay for the wedding!!

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:41 PM