I am not trying to be religious here and I don't claim to be religious, but since someone posted and talked on the bible, a quote from the bible:

"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. "

I believe that since man is stronger, he has more obligations to provide than a woman. I am not saying women shouldn't share the burden but since it's the man that wants to marry, then pay for the wedding!!

I am not trying to be religious here and I don't claim to be religious, but since someone posted and talked on the bible, a quote from the bible:

"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. "

I believe that since man is stronger, he has more obligations to provide than a woman. I am not saying women shouldn't share the burden but since it's the man that wants to marry, then pay for the wedding!!

Heh, my wife would disagree with you. In fact, I had to talk her into having a wedding dinner together with my mother-in-law. My own parents don't care much about the formalities. They're the very Western-educated type. My wife's parents are mostly okay too, but still feel like it was necessary to put on a show for the other relatives on my wife's side of the family. Personally, I don't care much for the tradition or being put on display but I was willing to put up with it for one night. Even so, neither of us put any effort into it whatsoever because we just couldn't be bothered. No speeches, no fancy music, no wedding car and decorations, no alcohol and toastings. We wanted to greet everyone, let them eat and send them on their way as soon as possible. I am proud to say that we were very poor hosts and it was a very, very bad wedding dinner.

Even to this day, 3 years later, my wife sometimes expresses regret that I managed to talk her into agreeing to have a wedding dinner at all. She thinks that it's a vain, meaningless and unenjoyable event held just to please others and not the two of us. She thinks that we should just have spent the money on increasing our honeymoon budget instead. Hehe. In general, both of us are not very sociable people and we hate doing things just for the sake of satisfying social conventions and showing off. We felt that it was much more meaningful to do different things for different sets of relatives and acquaintances together. For example, having lunch with our old school mates around a table, taking some of the younger members of the family to a karaoke etc.

This is also why the two of us get along very well.

Just a post to show that not all girls are like that, or enjoy the same things or think the same way and that it is not necessary to do things just because it is "expected" or "customary".

Leave religious quotes out of an objective debate.

In today's society, women can do as much as men can in most ways except for physical labour.

What if it's the woman who initiates the marriage?  Do you expect her to pay? 

The simple answer is this - whatever the arrangement between the man and woman is, as long as they are happy with it, that's all that matters regardless of whether it is the man paying, the woman paying or both parties sharing.

Don't insist on archaic gender roles just because your great-grandparents practised it in the 19th century.

this is sad to hear...

Spare us your cheap and inaccurate history lessons about gender conditions.

For quality information regarding gender roles and how education has empowered BOTH men and women, I recommend the following book:

Gender Education & Equality in a Global Context
Conceptual Frameworks and Policy Perspectives
By Shailaja Fennell, Madeleine Arnot
In the 21st century, MORE women are working productively than ever before at any point in history.  BOTH parents take care of their children.
Due primarily to education and a more effective dissemination of quality information.

Read about real social conditions before you debate with me about this subject.

Of course I prefer shared burden, I am a guy afterall but I said the truth because it's guys who needs to pay for the wedding after all, after marriage, the children follow the father's family name and so is the wife, that is also practiced as tradition, if want everything new century way,  u say equal sharing, then for a change, why not men change their family name to the women including women?? That is also kicking aside traditional practice, I don't like to stick to a one sided argument that only protects me.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 6:45 pm

Ah yes, fall back to physcological studies, biological, culture, tradition or whatever to justify spending beyond one's means on a single event.

It makes as much sense as saying men should sow their seeds with as many fertile women as possible because it's hard-coded in their DNA.

Ever heard of personal choice?

And about your book, its says working as in a job, so you telling me prehistorical woman do not gather fruits and bring food to the table?
Do you even know why girls love pink and red color so much? They've sensitivity to this color, its in our gene, to collect fruits!!!
Man are born muscular to fight off predators and hunt for animals and also to build shelters/house.

I dun need to debate you.... you'll be at the bottom of my list as husband material same as I'll be at the bottom of your list. But pls look at the polls I did on if a 12k wedding is considered expensive and ridiculous. So to conclude: you're like TS KIAM SUP = Stingy man

Again, thanks to so many in here, I really super appreciate my husband. I heard of a lot of ridiculous low quality man out there but never tot I meet so many in here.

And about your book, its says working as in a job, so you telling me prehistorical woman do not gather fruits and bring food to the table?
Do you even know why girls love pink and red color so much? They've sensitivity to this color, its in our gene, to collect fruits!!!
Man are born muscular to fight off predators and hunt for animals and also to build shelters/house.

I dun need to debate you.... you'll be at the bottom of my list as husband material same as I'll be at the bottom of your list. But pls look at the polls I did on if a 12k wedding is considered expensive and ridiculous. So to conclude: you're like TS KIAM SUP = Stingy man

Again, thanks to so many in here, I really super appreciate my husband. I heard of a lot of ridiculous low quality man out there but never tot I meet so many in here.

hey moorish, some people say it's modern and shared burden, so I am wondering if you are single, I know you are not, i wonder if your bf, you offer to pay half or everything and some children change to your family name or your husband change to your family name, I wonder who would agree in view of the concept "modern"

BTW, chinese reception held are typically by the man and the invitation majority are for the grooms side, so it is standard procedure for the male to pay. If rich couple they will have 2 reception 1 for each side and for the groom side the girls parent will pay and keep the ang pow, nowadays they will table talk and held both the reception together and the groom side will normally offer/sponser X amount of table for the brides relative. Its normally very easy to negotiate coz the groom knows they will make back the cost of the reception and if they join the wedding the couple gets all the angpow.

Right and in this instance your take is that 12K is an unacceptable amount for such an occassion? I doubt the TS is living in some small obscure village.

Yes, I've heard of personal choice and if this is the woman he has chosen to marry, perhaps he should do what's necessary, no? He can whine all he want but it's obvious his wife isn't going to budge. Whilst I do agree to a cost sharing solution, I don't see anyway out for him unless he's willing to fork out the 12K on his own. If he deems this to be an unreasonable amount, then don't get married.

chee sin ... my in laws will kill me normally follow back my surname means chiu loong yup seh, means their son have to shed his surname also and come into my family. They take this very seriously, and I think my mom will kill me also, for raising such stupidity ques.

this is sad to hear...

It seems that despite the widespread availability of education, there are still a number of folks in Malaysia who believe in some caveman postulation that only the man provides and the woman is the receiver.

What does gathering fruits in prehistoric times have anything to do with education and empowerment of women in today's world?  DUH!

Spare me the false rhetorics about genes and whatnot - it's obvious your reading material is probably limited to CLEO magazines.

And now you are using a strawman poll done in a social internet forum as an argument point?  DUH again!

I can be bottom of anyone's list for all that matter as I am a happily married man and do not need some snotty gold-digging woman's opinion to feel good about myself.

eh hello you just mention caveman idiology that man provides and woman received, I'm saying in prehistoric times male and female brings equal food to the table....unless you dun understand england.

I dun think so prehistoric time a woman can be a graphic designer do you? that time the most popular career seem to be fruits gathering

About you being happily married this I believe, you've found a woman who'll folk out half her saving and income to supplement you and kiddos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWqgD7lGneU

You can be a Christian and still follow your own way.

In prehistoric times, men did the bulk of the hunter-gatherer role CONTRARY to your statement.  The women tended the home and looked after the children.  Read social history if you even know what that is.

So why regress to the notion that women nowadays can sponge off men?

Good thing is my daughters are well-educated people and need not rely on anyone but believe in sharing