I will add 5 cents here, first 12k for wedding is not expensive, I don't understand people here, why married when you cannot afford it, I am a guy and I actually support girls looking for husbands who can support them, sure wife must understanding and all sorts, but based on research, women likes security and the fact is that RM12k is not a lot for wedding so the wife/gf is not willing to chip in is understandable, do you ever think from women's point of view. Research or studies have shown that women actually have planned their wedding since they are 5 years old. They have been thinking and thinking and planning up to the time of adulthood. You said couple give and take?? This a a fair way, man pays all, children follows guy's family name, if wife pays some, would you also give and take and some children follow the wife name and also your name follow the wife name?? Everything has it's price, women follow husbands name, children follow husband name and wife has to give birth and look after the children, the least a man can do is pay for the wedding!! I always tell people this, if you cannot afford to marry then don't do it, wait till financial ok, it is downright selfish. I am not a hyprocrite, my financial is not at the right way yet so I don't get married and have gf. Marriages do go down in unhappyness due to financial and that is a fact.

I didn't say that, but I said man cannot have it everything his way, man wants wife to follow his name and everything else but when comes to money man pay nothing or wants to share. You can't have it both ways, it's a man's responsibility to pay for his wedding.

Then go vietnam and have the wedding dinner there, if you want to say cheapest, africa is cheapest. RM200-300 per month live as a king, why don't you marry a black girl and live in africa, if you like to talk like that, then walk the talk, don't be NATO= No Action Talk Only, the fact the girl is Malaysian then act like the prices is Malaysian also!!

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 3:26 pmNot to mention if you bring back the girl to Malaysia, the living expenses is back in Malaysia and it's square one, can't afford to pay for wedding, you surely cannot afford to maintain her.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 3:29 pmare you male or female?? Your nick says female but female won't talk like that!!

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 03:29 PM

no, he's meant the girl gave so much to him already, at least he should contribute back some, stop twisting people's word.

You are missing the point, this has nothing to do with animals, you are trying to distort my point.

are you trying to tell me it's not men's duty to take care of the wife and children?? Since you talk modern age, then children don't follow father's name and women the word "Mrs" shouldn't follow the man?? After all it's "modern"

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 03:37 PM

Anyone that has known all the history of my postings knows what kind of person I am. I am not the kind to flame anyone, but it is indeed the duty of the guy to pay for the wedding especially if it's RM12k, but also TS failed to mention whether he's rich or poor, some guys can be so rich but yet stingy, however let's be honest, RM12k is really not a lot for a wedding, just take a wedding in Tai Thong or Overseas restaurant, I know even average people that is they over terrace house also go wedding there and it costs at least 20k-40k. Guys should pay for the wedding. End of story.

When I say end of story it means I refuse to debate because it can go on until the 100th page of this thread and still no solutions, 12k is money to me too, but let's face it, if the person is very very poor 12k is a lot, to a rubbish collector it's a lot, my point is that we don't know what TS earns, but if he earns RM3-4k a month and he save money or take a small loan for bank for marriage he could do it, I am lazy to argue a lot, but to make it short and simple, for most people RM12k is a little for wedding.

In my opinion TS has money he's being stingy. Look at his own quote:

"So within the span of a year, I need to put away slightly over 10k (12 to be safe) only to watch it disappear..."

When he said only to watch it dissapear, usually when people speak in this manner he has the money, and by speaking only to watch it dissapear means he is indirectly speaking the wedding is not worth it. That's what he really means.

Even barista and you sensed it, I have a feeling it's not the money but the fact TS is not willing to spend the money and think it is not worth it.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 4:31 pmI digged up TS old post, I found this. Looks like his gf is not money minded at all assuming it's the same girl.

Poll: Older woman VS younger woman
ravager877 Posted on: Jul 7 2008, 01:04 PM


Newbie
*

Group: New Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2006




I always date older women. I'm 24 and currently dating a 30 year old. She's very nice and understanding. She listens to me but has her own opinion but still respect a man's decision. Love her very very much. Hehe. When tired she never complain when i ask her to drive and if I'm not free to fetch her she wont bit** and complain. Instead she dont mind to take public transport. She never need my money cause she got a stable job which pays well and she also know how to appreciate money so she never overspend.

In bed... Hehehe. You guys cannot imagine the things she will do and allow me to do to her. Hehehe. Seriously very very hard to find girl like her.

In short. Older women all the way. Once you taste it, you will never look at younger women ever.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 04:31 PM

TS is stingy this the prove. In his own quote "2) On a first date, this gal brought me to a restaurant and made me pay for the RM90 lunch."

Wow, first date RM 90 and he whine he payed, this is the FIRST DATE. Read me, first date!!





No Money No Honey?
ravager877 Posted on: Aug 1 2008, 10:46 AM


This is for those who are in or have been in a relationship.

Notice that I'm not asking IF money is important in a relationship cause 95% of all people here will just say its not and that there's more to love than the size of your wallet. I don't wanna know if money is important cause it usually does become an issue in today's relationships. No contest there.

The question here is how much do you spend on your gf or receive from your bf (normally guys give to gals).

Couple of situations I'm already aware of.

1) Friend bought a RM250 necklace for his GF on her bday.
2) On a first date, this gal brought me to a restaurant and made me pay for the RM90 lunch.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 4:48 pmI also did few hard investigations using search engine, deep web search using spokeo, don't ask what I investigate but I investigate what I needed to know.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 04:48 PM

Based on TS quote on his other thread:

"Couple of situations I'm already aware of.

1) Friend bought a RM250 necklace for his GF on her bday."

His is also thinking RM250 is too big deal for a one year event.

First I need to stress I am not rich too but if I like a girl I won't mind. My dad has money and I haven't ask him money to say please sponsor and If I need money for gf I won't ask him. I need to strive hard and mind you, I did spend my whole month's salary once to get a expensive present for my dad(when I just started working) and for a girl I wouldn't mind, stop whining TS, how much you are willing to spend on your gf will tell you how much you love them.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 05:14 PM

What I meant is what they give in relation to their income, yes thought is the most important but that doesn't mean you must give a cheap gift, secondly of course the guy must also remember the gf/wife birthday and celebrate the birthday.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 6:20 pmI don't agree with this quote:

"At this modern age ,
Man and woman are both responsible to bring up their family ,
Woman should help out with financial burden , while man should help out with house chore , upbringing of children , kids tuiton , etc etc .
Man who comes home from work and juz wait for dinner are jerks ."

My dad was working and waiting dinner serve and my mom is a housewife. My dad work 12 hours sometimes a day and one person can bring up the family, so I doubt my dad is a jerk coz he waited for the dinner.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:20 PM

I am not trying to be religious here and I don't claim to be religious, but since someone posted and talked on the religion so I put a quote from the bible:

"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. "

I believe that since man is stronger, he has more obligations to provide than a woman. I am not saying women shouldn't share the burden but since it's the man that wants to marry, then pay for the wedding!!

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:41 PM

Of course I prefer shared burden, I am a guy afterall but I said the truth because it's guys who needs to pay for the wedding after all, after marriage, the children follow the father's family name and so is the wife, that is also practiced as tradition, if want everything new century way, u say equal sharing, then for a change, why not men change their family name to the women including women?? That is also kicking aside traditional practice, I don't like to stick to a one sided argument that only protects me.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 6:45 pmWhy and what is sad to hear??

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:46 PM

hey moorish, some people say it's modern and shared burden, so I am wondering if you are single, I know you are not, i wonder if your bf, you offer to pay half or everything and some children change to your family name or your husband change to your family name, I wonder who would agree in view of the concept "modern"

Actually you are wrong on this moorish, I know some people can be really stingy when paying the angpow.

That's my exact point moorish!! Traditionally must follow guys name, so it's also tradition that is marriage is guy's responsibility to pay for the marriage, that's what I meant!! But some people say modern time, marriage expense must share.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 06:59 PM

If less people marry and have children it's better, look at africa, over population so no food to eat, less crime rate also in more country, less people means lower unemployment rate. It's actually not a bad idea, and people no money to marry can keep all their money for themselves and have a better life for themselves. Not too bad a deal.

My mom is a housewife so naturally my dad paid for everything, but of course I am not in the right position to comment as my dad used to work as a high position before retiring.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 8:49 pm"also, there are less attractive girls wouldnt mind marrying to those not so well to do guys, together they are still capably and sufficiently raise a simple healthy family."

You just admit it, supply and demand factor, true love doesn't exist, it's called demand and supply but anyway it's not related to this thread about guy paying for the wedding, just point it out.

"thats not much wealth can one built compared to two."

to raise a kid it costs so much money most of the time it cannot be paid back, children hardly or never pay back their parents, many times people raise children hopefully when they are old their children will look after them, yes children look after them and get maid, fetch them hospital but not much, to pass on genetics yes I agree but earth is already over populated, earth is reaching it's capacity to feed and provide already in my opinion as there are starvation but there is still lots of forests for agriculture though example south america. If one wants to raise children so someone can look after them for old age, then forget it, to pass their genes yes I agree. Marriage for companionship then yes.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 08:49 PM