Show a quote or link then.

Again, give me a good reason why women should sponge of men when they can rely on themselves and earn their own living.

Okay, I guess that was directed more at monashguy. But I just don't want to get any of his stupid on me.

I've read this in a book long time ago....so your book says no or you didnt understand?
google about why woman love red and pink and you'll find because they gather fruits, nuts and potatoes, so you're wrong on this, pls be a gentleman and admit to your mistake instead of fighting and hanging on to your ego

"Settling"?

The books states that men were the main providers for their families and groups/ clans in prehistoric times (albeit a lightly touched matter) so spare us your crap about mistakes.

Provide an answer as to why women should sponge off men.

If less people marry and have children it's better, look at africa, over population so no food to eat, less crime rate also in more country, less people means lower unemployment rate. It's actually not a bad idea, and people no money to marry can keep all their money for themselves and have a better life for themselves. Not too bad a deal.

you are reading a very very wrong book written by a sexist, pls read more book and come back here again

i would rather believe there are always someone for everyone and not to the money the woman are marrying, unless they have something equal to trade in return, eg. pretty look with hot body.

also, there are less attractive girls wouldnt mind marrying to those not so well to do guys, together they are still capably and sufficiently raise a simple healthy family. unless there are those who has no desire to pass on their genetic information and rather die alone, and by alone, thats not much wealth can one built compared to two.

I'm not condemning him. I'm merely justifying my belief as to why this wedding is so important to his fiance and giving reasons why I feel she may be expecting him to fork out an amount, I deem as being reasonable. Never once did I call him a scrooge.

moorish , simple question .

do you live off ur husband completely 100 % ? or do you pay for ur own stuff like : cloths , makeup , woman stuff etc etc .

just wana know what type of woman you are before debating on this issue , as i believe different people with different living style have different opinion .

nobody opinion is wrong . just different .

a person who is born in a place where ppl are killing each other everyday may think killing is ok . while someone who is born in a place where prostitution is everywhere might actually consider it as a decent respectable job . Eg : Thailand

why SPS and other people may have conflict of thoughts with you maybe because of this .

so i wanna know , what type of woman are you ?

i am not a woman

My mom is a housewife so naturally my dad paid for everything, but of course I am not in the right position to comment as my dad used to work as a high position before retiring.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 8:49 pm"also, there are less attractive girls wouldnt mind marrying to those not so well to do guys, together they are still capably and sufficiently raise a simple healthy family."

You just admit it, supply and demand factor, true love doesn't exist, it's called demand and supply but anyway it's not related to this thread about guy paying for the wedding, just point it out.

"thats not much wealth can one built compared to two."

to raise a kid it costs so much money most of the time it cannot be paid back, children hardly or never pay back their parents, many times people raise children hopefully when they are old their children will look after them, yes children look after them and get maid, fetch them hospital but not much, to pass on genetics yes I agree but earth is already over populated, earth is reaching it's capacity to feed and provide already in my opinion as there are starvation but there is still lots of forests for agriculture though example south america. If one wants to raise children so someone can look after them for old age, then forget it, to pass their genes yes I agree. Marriage for companionship then yes.

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 08:49 PM

100% on husband
But dun blame me...he insist I quit my job and stay at home go shopping ,

Anyway we're discussing on general chinese culture here, no?

i am trying to point out a point which is .

in this modern time ,
Dad job is not only putting food on the table , but also to help out on the house duties .
Mom job is not only in the house , but also if possible , help out on financial .

Why are there still ppl clingy on the concept man MUST 100% provide , woman must DO HOUSE CHORE amaze me .

i am not saying its wrong for a woman be a housewife if both party are happy with it .

Previous post you said ur dad came home and waited for dinner , wouldnt it be better if smtimes he take time off helping ur mom ?

i dono bout all ur family here , but this is how my family works . and i think its very strong as a family .

tryin to make a point that
A father duty is not merely just food on table , and a mother duty is not merely house chore .
times changes ady .

crazy ahh?? My dad work so hard, come home so late how to cook dinner??? Of course now he's retired and I got maid at home. But for the sake of discussion you can talk about my family life, I am ok with that.

I think the discussion here is about who pays for the wedding for chinese culture...and not about woman sit at home and demand money from husband. I've never ask to sit at home, infact I find it so boring and complaint to my hubby, but most I get is go help out in his shop, so here I'm so free arguing in here

what about this?

I consider myself an independent woman. My parents brought me up well and I am making my own living.

Should I settle for less by marrying a man who is less capable than me? I can stay single and have my own good life you know?

Yet, many woman like me still want to get married. I don't need a very rich husband but I want someone who is generous. Someone who is sensitive, who is able to show his care and love generously. He may not have a lot of money but he must at least put in effort and try his best.

Sometimes love is shown in gifts with a lot of thoughts put in. It is not how expensive but a man has got to put his heart and thoughts. Sad to say not a lot of man is able to do that. Not because they cannot afford anything but they do not bothered.

Is this considered materialistic? We all want to feel loved... men and women. I'm sure the guy is just as delighted and happy to receive something from the lady.

That little something can be a small gesture, considerate thought and sensitivity towards your partner's needs.

There are men who talks about women must be independent, must not leech but they still act like a China Men. OK... give pocket money, do house work, help with the kids... they think they've done everything, woman must be happy. They forgot the wife's emotional needs. So end up saying the wife is not content when she grumbles.

kakaka...

This post has been edited by barista: May 12 2009, 09:12 PM

its good to find this type of husband if i am a girl , i would want to find this type of husband also .
Now i know why our opinion differs so much

my mom was not raised in this way , my dad never raise me this way and he taught me to always earn my keep . He has the money to buy me things but choose to only give me the nessescity . and i would say that it made me a better person .
So i grew up watching my mom earning her own keep even for shopping her own cloths and woman stuff and even though dad gave her pocket money and credit card she choose not use it . It made me respect her alot because she is very independant . She also told me if one day my dad leave us she would have money to go on her own .
My mom the champion

Sorry for having to stoop this low.

True story.

Shailaja Fennell and Madeleine Arnot are female authors.

Looks like you are talking through your rear end again.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 9:16 pmdont' forget the men's emotional needs as well. It's not one sided.

---

Added on May 12, 2009, 9:18 pmThat's the way I brought up my daughters and my missus and I would have it no other way.

Seeing my daughter in a happy and fulfilling marriage has been a joy in our lives.



This post has been edited by SPS: May 12 2009, 09:18 PM