Highly Classified Swiftlets relocation program in Sarawak.

COOLANDY our investigative blogger have leaked some information to our readers. I like to clarify the truth as demanded by Mr. Trok of KT. and my involvement in this highly secretive relocation program.

Noting the possibility of swift lets moving in and roosting in shop houses. It was decided to move the swift lets from the Great Niah Cave where the local native have harvesting rights to Mulu cave a World Heritage Site which were only occupied by millions of bats and is under the control of a private company.

I together with scientist Huang was awarded this multi million grant to study and move these precious commodities from Niah to Mulu hence bypass the need to pay loyalty to the natives of Niah.

Scientist Huang and our team worked for three years and with so many grants it was not in our interest to produce a quick solution although we already have a method to successfully relocate the swift lets. Paling Senang sajak bah!

On the forth year struggling to buy myself a farm and brought in pedigreed Arabian Horses from Australia and USA an interest in a cattle farm and a crocodile farm in Dawin. Finally my grant was nearly exhausted and my principal threatened to pull the rug and plug the sink.

Not to lose face after having claimed to be an” Expert in Swift lets Relocation.” I very unwillingly started the program with the hope of another lucrative contract to RELOCATE HOUSE SWIFT LETS TO ECO PARK which I am also an EXPERT in partnership with Guru Hungry Coke.

The procedure is simple. We built a special BH all net in and can house 50,000 birds at any one time. The design was copied from Indonesia and the birds were fed with insect raise in the farm. I learned this from Pak Han Seminar in KT. Out of loyalty I brought tons of powder from Pak Han through his Malaysian Agent CK Chan and also made both of them very rich.

We then built sort of a trap with a Dog Kennel and window type entrance. I then used Black Clude which was stolen by my bodyguard. When we turned on the Baymare QE22 speakers at US137.00 each. The birds just jumped in by the thousands, they are then flown by helicopters to my research center at Lambir National Park in Miri.

At this specially built center 50,000 birds were fed and the BH was fitted with a special sound system designed and special music given to me by Pak Abong of Sumatra FOC. There are 3 sounds played simultaneously with hypnotic effect and altered their brain wave of the swift lets . They were also sprayed with Lone Potion Hormone imported from West Malaysia at great cost of 180 per 1.5 liter. Packed in used discarded coke .

After these SHOCKED treatment these MIND ALTERED BIRDS are again captured and flowed by helicopter to MUlu Cave and released to a cave that use Black Clude music and a slow released Lone Potion Hormone to prevent them from flying back to Niah Cave. Due to the huge craven drums of Lone Potions Hormone were needed hence it is always out of stock in Malaysia. The inventor is also a very rich man now.

With this mind altering method and the birds were easily relocated. The populations of swift lets in Niah Cave used to be estimated to be at least 2 millions and are now down to 200,000. At Mulu what s sight to behold for the thousands of tourists who come to see the swift lets entering the cave like a cyclone. (Chinese call it “IT thiaw loong”)

My client are delighted with my work and brought in millions in tourism money but there is a problem, the cave is inhospitable and dangerous and local do not have the necessary skill or the equipments to harvest the nests. Harvesting is now done by thieves from Thailand.

I am proud of my team and does create lots of employments and spin off business for my suppliers and all the free ideas I acquired from the few seminars I attended and now can claim to be consultant.

We received reports that the mind altering methods have affected the behavior of the traumatized birds probably caused by the handling where tens of thousands of birds perished in the ordeal and the thousands of eggs and chicks that were lost resulted from their parents being captured by our team.

As a responsible and highly respected self made scientist I have just submit another multimillion dollar contract to set up a COUNCILLING CENTER for the traumatized birds .

Another center is being set up for my team and suppliers. Many are newly rich as a result of THE SWIFT LETS RELOCATIONS PROGRAM are unable to cope resulting in alcohol and drugs abuse, some is going through expensive devours now that the wife smell money. Few are dying of heart related problem suspected an overdosed of seafood.

Our ongoing research on relocation of House Swift lets from shophouse to Eco Park is progressing well with our newly recruited expert from Sg. Patani. Pak Abong of Sumatra is developing for me new music as I was told that the cave black nest swift lets and white nest house swift lets speak a different language but Black clued is so powerful even the crow came down.

FYI . I have chosen this very auspicious day 1st April (For Me) to commence work on my 20’x62’x2stories standalone BH .The same date have been chosen for many of my successful projects. Wish Me Good Luck. Goodnight and enjoy.

My blog reader asked me this question. Why the red brick on the right hand side don't look so red compared to left hand side? Why the inner part is black color. Is it good?

Ben,

That's the best Aelodamus Fujifungus story we ever heard in the forum though there are many AF stories told by Hungry Cook! Everyday is AF in the blog.


On a more serious note, congrats to LGE in Penang for identifying and eradicting hardcore poor in the state. Quoted in The Sun saying many philanthropists stepped forward to help. May be associations can emulate the same since this is God given.

Our upcoming new PM many times also mentioned about AF since he is from Pekan. Hope to see some light at the end of tunnel to have a new PM who will be supportive of the industry.

This post has been edited by Bobby C: Apr 1 2009, 01:28 PM

It is advisable to use the dark red color brick.

Comparatively, the brighter color one's strength is not so high.

Brighter one is third grade brick (price should be cheaper), its density is less it should be lighter in weight. This is due to the different condition of clay, some may have more impurities and silty clay or silt mixed.

If you use it for BH construction, should be ok, provided exmet to be used at areas jointing to the beams and columns.

and just make sure it is not ductile until it break even when you drop it free fall on a solid ground.

This post has been edited by Engineer Lee: Apr 1 2009, 02:42 PM

if the brighter color one is strength,then can we use it??
If you use it for BH construction, should be ok??
u mean that use it for bh is not a problem because this is just BH not human house,if it still strenght la?

[quote=aerohead,Apr 1 2009, 02:30 PM]
and flowed by helicopter to MUlu Cave and released to a cave that use Black Clude music and a slow released Lone Potion Hormone to prevent them from flying back to Niah Cave. Due to the huge craven drums of Lone Potions Hormone were needed hence it is always out of stock in Malaysia. The inventor is also a very rich man now.

With this mind altering method and the birds were easily relocated. The populations of swift lets in Niah Cave used to be estimated to be at least 2 millions and are now down to 200,000. At Mulu what s sight to behold for the thousands of tourists who come to see the swift lets entering the cave like a cyclone. (Chinese call it “IT thiaw loong”)

My client are delighted with my work and brought in millions in tourism money but there is a problem, the cave is inhospitable and dangerous and local do not have the necessary skill or the equipments to harvest the nests. Harvesting is now done by thieves from Thailand.

I am proud of my team and does create lots of employments and spin off business for my suppliers and all the free ideas I acquired from the few seminars I attended and now can claim to be consultant.

We received reports that the mind altering methods have affected the behavior of the traumatized birds probably caused by the handling where tens of thousands of birds perished in the ordeal and the thousands of eggs and chicks that were lost resulted from their parents being captured by our team.

As a responsible and highly respected self made scientist I have just submit another multimillion dollar contract to set up a COUNCILLING CENTER for the traumatized birds .

Another center is being set up for my team and suppliers. Many are newly rich as a result of THE SWIFT LETS RELOCATIONS PROGRAM are unable to cope resulting in alcohol and drugs abuse, some is going through expensive devours now that the wife smell money. Few are dying of heart related problem suspected an overdosed of seafood.

Our ongoing research on relocation of House Swift lets from shophouse to Eco Park is progressing well with our newly recruited expert from Sg. Patani. Pak Abong of Sumatra is developing for me new music as I was told that the cave black nest swift lets and white nest house swift lets speak a different language but Black clued is so powerful even the crow came down.

FYI . I have chosen this very auspicious day 1st April (For Me) to commence work on my 20’x62’x2stories standalone BH .The same date have been chosen for many of my successful projects. Wish Me Good Luck. Goodnight and enjoy.

[/quote]

Ben,

is the special sound system the super secret ultrasonik system developed by the russians during the last cold war ? I heard that it is indeed a very powerful mind altering device. Those poor birds wouldn't have stood a chance at all. Hope there were no collateral damages among the natives.

---

Added on April 1, 2009, 2:30 pmand flowed by helicopter to MUlu Cave and released to a cave that use Black Clude music and a slow released Lone Potion Hormone to prevent them from flying back to Niah Cave. Due to the huge craven drums of Lone Potions Hormone were needed hence it is always out of stock in Malaysia. The inventor is also a very rich man now.

With this mind altering method and the birds were easily relocated. The populations of swift lets in Niah Cave used to be estimated to be at least 2 millions and are now down to 200,000. At Mulu what s sight to behold for the thousands of tourists who come to see the swift lets entering the cave like a cyclone. (Chinese call it “IT thiaw loong”)

My client are delighted with my work and brought in millions in tourism money but there is a problem, the cave is inhospitable and dangerous and local do not have the necessary skill or the equipments to harvest the nests. Harvesting is now done by thieves from Thailand.

I am proud of my team and does create lots of employments and spin off business for my suppliers and all the free ideas I acquired from the few seminars I attended and now can claim to be consultant.

We received reports that the mind altering methods have affected the behavior of the traumatized birds probably caused by the handling where tens of thousands of birds perished in the ordeal and the thousands of eggs and chicks that were lost resulted from their parents being captured by our team.

As a responsible and highly respected self made scientist I have just submit another multimillion dollar contract to set up a COUNCILLING CENTER for the traumatized birds .

Another center is being set up for my team and suppliers. Many are newly rich as a result of THE SWIFT LETS RELOCATIONS PROGRAM are unable to cope resulting in alcohol and drugs abuse, some is going through expensive devours now that the wife smell money. Few are dying of heart related problem suspected an overdosed of seafood.

Our ongoing research on relocation of House Swift lets from shophouse to Eco Park is progressing well with our newly recruited expert from Sg. Patani. Pak Abong of Sumatra is developing for me new music as I was told that the cave black nest swift lets and white nest house swift lets speak a different language but Black clued is so powerful even the crow came down.

FYI . I have chosen this very auspicious day 1st April (For Me) to commence work on my 20’x62’x2stories standalone BH .The same date have been chosen for many of my successful projects. Wish Me Good Luck. Goodnight and enjoy.

[/quote]

Ben,

is the special sound system the super secret ultrasonik system developed by the russians during the last cold war ? I heard that it is indeed a very powerful mind altering device. Those poor birds wouldn't have stood a chance at all. Hope there were no collateral damages among the natives.

[/quote]

Hi AEROHEAD,

The only part of the story which is true is about my new BH which started work on !st April.

I thought we just a little fun with punk intended. My imaginations does get carried away sometimes. I have tried the so call ultrasonic at KT. Have no effect on the swiftlets.

Enjoy, Ben

Ben Chai,

This got to be the best story I have read in a long time. Actually I am also into another project... a top secret one but I can't give the full details, just some tips.

My group has successfully inserted the nest-building genes of a special type of swiftlet into AF. By cross breeding and gene therapy, we have produced nests that weigh an incredible 35 grams each on average.

Imagine the size grass nest of the swallows that build above the 5ft way of many old shops.

My group consists of a research scientist at MIT, a zoologist at Imperial College London and an associate professor at UPM Malaysia and I am the project leader.

That's all I am willing to say on this special subject.

This post has been edited by coolandy: Apr 1 2009, 09:23 PM

http://gem.socialgo.com

This post has been edited by Nurul-GEM: Apr 2 2009, 02:42 AM


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Hope the best for your project and that you can truly succeed in all that you all have said. With all these taking about mass moving swiftlets to another location are hurting the investment of the BHs in town, just that I truly believe you all understand.

Like to share a joke here....many years ago, a doctor just started a BH for a few month, I asked him on how was his BH and he replied that his BH has only one black bird, two eggs and a 1 kilo nest. With these words,he pointed to his pant and said, "there my black bird and the two eggs and look at the ceiling of my shop and you will see the 1 kilo nest. Doc.!, you crazy and I just walked away.

So, I shall be looking forward to your one kg nest and even a 20 grams would be nice.

---

Added on April 2, 2009, 3:21 pmOyes, one thing that I wish to know if you are cross breeding swiftlet ans swallow should be impossible as they are of differently genes. Sorry for my lack of understanding on this science and maybe you are talking of selective breeding of the fittest or the biggest.

Another question, if the bird is to produce a huge 35 gms nest, wouldn't it take a very long time and maybe this time really blood nest will be produce due to over stress/overwork or to the last drop. Apologies if wrong as I really know nothing about the birds and the bees in swiftlet and hope someone really can enlighten us on the topic.

This post has been edited by West Wing: Apr 2 2009, 03:21 PM

I was in Medan for 1 year, witnessed the Tsunami and had the chance to friend with a lot of Holland, German, Sri Lanka & Indian immigrant and descendants. They are friendly people and can speak fluent Indonesia language. They are no second class citizen and do not need to kow-tow to the affirmative crutch. They are free to own anything, not subject to any quota in doing any business and there is no restriction in setting up any BH there.

I remember that there was an Indonesian Chinese businessman wanted to give away his rupiah to the poor village people, but unfortunately untoward incident occurred where people stepping people and a few died. The help just does not work that way. They should not only be given fish but also taught how to fish. Similarly, wealth must not be distributed through spoon-feeding and nepotism. Nor should it benefit only some rent-seeking parasites.

This post has been edited by Engineer Lee: Apr 2 2009, 05:13 PM

ai ya west wing,

comments from ben chai n coolandy are all april fool jokes lah !!...

hehe....this is funny...
..

If it is April Fool joke, then it is a joke with bad taste.....as many are watching us and if they are taking that as the truth, then all are habis. I sincerely hope that it is a April Fool Joke as I don't like to pass bad or unfriendly comments on friends postings.

Sometime when we play with fire, we get burned accidentally. The government will wish to move the BH out of town to save unnecessay complaints from the anti Swiftlets group and relocating swiftlets is not an impossible thing to do but it take years and alot of trials and errors...... it is just like if you lift a successful BH on to a giant trailer and move it a few meter away each day toward your destination; I believe that you will successful in shifting your BH to a new location.

About BHs...........
Initially, all BHs need all the right things to get good results but when your BH become successful, none of the so called Sounds, Aroma or conditions sometime aren't important all. The swiftlets just built their nest there irrespective of no anything and you may even switch on your light and they still produce nests. Once, my roof leaks and some of the nest are totally wet but they still build nest there..

Even if Bh has no sound as the tweeters are rusty and the amplifier is out of order. The humidifiers are damaged but the population keep increasing. The swifltets produce their music and the only the nests qualities are poor and out of shape. After Thousand, we maintain, service or renovate old BHs because we want quality nests.

Also, unless the new PM has a change of heart, he can be considered Pro BH from what I heard from an Pahang Exco many months ago.

Above are some of my experience to share.

Understand how u feel. thats every town farmers `Nightmare'.

If you can predict the trend liked a trader, u know that the long term trend is not good.

We all know the history of N, nothing good but evil.

How long he will act liked an angel....u know i know.

So what can we do, u know i know.

should we gives up? NO.

When we need to fight the war, we fight the WAR KOW KOW!!!

When we smell something bad coming, We eliminate it KOW KOW!!!

Thats all we can do....u know i know....

as ordinary citizens, we cant do anything but get your balls squeeze by them....

how to get out of this rat race??

Dont let them squeeze your ball!!!!...

How??

U know I know....and a lot of peoples still think changing G is the only option....

Are you sure??......look at Thailand......see the T moving his troops to dismantle the G!!!....

How??.....he got the money!!!.....With Money, you can have a strong Ghosts Troops to defend you.

Thats the reality, nothing else.


Thats why....just do what we can do everyday......when war come....make sure u all come out from your cosy chair and fight

all the way!!!!!.........




....



This post has been edited by ChanK: Apr 4 2009, 08:49 AM

One don’t need to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon to figure out the moral of my story that only by extreme MIND MANUPALATION we can fictitiously try to destroy the homing instinct of swift lets. Punk was intended to shame the so called self-styled expert without any credentials to support their publicity seeking ideas on this subject.

Apart from having a little fun on April fool’s day, the story is intended to point out the impossibility. FYI Mulu caves have a huge population of Black Nest Swift lets. Sorry for upsetting anyone. The hummer is suppose to be enjoyed by dear readers.

Oh! by the way I have many years ago in corroboration with Professor Ahmad Jamal , successfully hybrid Swallows with cave swift lets and produce 50grams nest measured 6 inches by 5 inches deep cup. Our patented rights were sold to Datuk Bei and Joseph Cheng in a multi million deal and all our scientific findings and documents destroyed to protect the nest of House swift lets. Our hybrid swift let called Cocklet have superior nest and sell for as little as RM100.00 /kilo.

Our latest project s we are bypassing NGV and working on a conventional vehicles running on RO water produce by AT Water sdn. Bhd. Miri. I will share my research with Dear Readers.

Until to-date, I still think that relocating swiftlets is mission impossible.

Moving with a trailer inch by inch? It can be done only if the BHs are in the middle of desert or barren land, where you have the luxury of unowned lands for you to do so.

I just can't imagine how it can be done without encroaching into other people's lands and the public reserve.

Can you afford to rent a trailer for more than 1 year?

Even if you can, you are not encouraged to do so coz it is too costly, not financially feasible and not justifiable at all.

I think relocation of swiftlet is possible and can be done....but at a cost.

How ?
Just close down BH A and the swiftlets have no choice but to find a new homes some where else.

At a cost ?
Thousands of young birds may dies during the transition period.
Swiftlets may migrate to other location or country.
Revenue loss to the farmers, and country.
Property prices drop drastically.

If one day, the pressure from anti BH group overwhelm the relocation costs, then PBT will have to act accordingly to neutralize the pressure by sacrificing the cost.
According to my observation, some new and greedy BH owners blasting the chirp sounds in high decibel 24/7 are the main culprit that would bring about the pressure and resistance to disallow BH in town area.

This post has been edited by aeiou228: Apr 4 2009, 04:39 PM

HAHA.....AS EXPECTED, THE NUMBER OF FARMERS WHO IS BUILDING THEIR OWN STANDALONE FARMS NOW ARE FAVORING RELOCATION...

AND THE NUMBER IS INCREASING....

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO??.....KILL THEM ALL....RIGHT??.....

As more BHs are built on land out of town, the more are favouring the relocation of BHs but we move but will the birds move.....no way and even if they fly away, do you think that the eco park nearest will get all the birds........ only fools will think like this.. con by the Eco Conman. Any experienced man will tell you that you can attract only new birds. Old birds will remain will try to enter the same building even if you seal off the entrance hole.


Those who have bought Bhs @ Eco park or standalone BHs are experiencing lack of birds or no bird. My advice to them is go begging to those TaiKo @ Town nearby to allow their birds to breed or otherwise you will need much longer time to be successful. Can't blame them all together as they are scare and wanting to get maximum income before if the sky fall down. Give the BHs owners @ town peace of mind and assurance that their BHs@ town will not be demolish will help to bring the inspiration of the nation to be the no.1 producer of birdnest in the world. Ishaallah, we will.

Aiyo....Ck,...Please don't be so sensitive....and over suspicious to all stand alone BH farmers.

I'm just merely expressing my personal view in respond to Engineer Lee's reply that relocation is Mission Impossible. When I argued that the relocation is possible, does that mean I favoring relocation ??
Enough said. Don't want to spark off another boring war of words in this thread.