Yes, balance is key

I've seen so many people become miserable because they tied certain aspects too strongly to their identity.

God has sent me to this thread. How do we get to know each other? 😝

LOL. What a smooth pick-up line. Something new to me. hahaha

Well, message me and see if God will matchmake you further.

Update:

He pissed me off when he requested to DIY together instead of meeting me in person. We're just 30-45 mins away from each other, and yet he popomama didn't wanna come and see me. Want cybersxx pulak.

In total, 5 times he initiated, 5 times he FFK (cancelled meeting me).

I finally exploded, and texted + voice messaged him how I felt: disappointed, sad, unloved and confused. I said he seemed so close yet so distant, and sometimes I wondered if he was just teasing me and playing with my feelings. I told him straight that I liked him, but I was also confused. I asked him directly how he felt towards me, and said that I needed time and space apart, and would only talk to him when I felt better again.

He read my messages and heard my voice message instantly (could see he's kamchiong ), but he didn't reply.

Good. I want him to go reflect and sort out his emotions fully. Damn annoyed. Never met such a mangkuk guy before. Urgh!!!!!

... but at the same time, I still feel he's so cute. He likes me a lot but is so scared to proceed, like an inexperienced boy boy. OK la, to be fair, I suspect he's a fearful avoidant-- crave love yet avoid love. No wonder still single for yearssssss and never have a gf before.

Anyway, enough of hotness, time for some cold treatment. According to my relationship book, I should implement no contact for at least 30 days, and I'm gonna do it. Sometimes, people dunno what they have until it's gone. Cliché, but true.

Meanwhile, I keep myself happy by chatting with new guys... If tak jadi with this mangkuk guy, I will move on, again. Have to la; ain't gonna wait forever for mangkuk to 开窍 (be enlightened).

This is the oddest thing to happen after my breakup with ex. Mangkuk guy kinda resembles my ex: same height, same studies, similar profession, tall and well-built, high IQ but low EQ/SQ --- God! Why are you sending another guy to 'torture' me??! & Why am I attracting/attracted to the same kind of guy?!

Haih. Susah. That's why ranting here late at night. Pardon me.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Sep 20 2024, 03:23 AM

Maybe he is just not that into you?

Just entertain u for fun.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Sep 20 2024, 10:06 AM

I was intrigue to read your public diary and decided to leave a comment here

from the way you describe Mr Bowl, it seemed like he might be those that overprotecting himself (in terms of relationship) so that he wouldn't get hurt, eventually will lead to nowhere. if he needs guidance, perhaps he can pick up some self help book and find answers

I guess you shouldn't be putting too much hope on him then but let's see how it goes

He's the one who pursued first, kept messaging me the whole day (asked me if I missed him, what I was doing, etc), and asking me out... I didn't do all these; I just responded and flirted with him.

I'm more to feeling emotionally tortured by his indecisiveness, but I think he's more physically tortured by getting hard...soft...hard...soft...hard...soft... but can't proceed due to his own hesitation... and keep thinking of me whole day coz I post on FB daily... my pretty pics and vibrant life.

Yeah, now I think about it. He lagi susah hor.

Hope my absence will drive him crazy.

Yeah, he does behave like someone who has some psychological issues to overcome. I'm gonna post those articles on FB, and hope he'll read them and go help himself.

Just for everyone's knowledge:

I have rethought the whole situation. Putting my personal emotions aside, I do think this guy needs some help to overcome his inner struggles. Even if we're not dating each other eventually, I still hope he will be able to date girls like how a normal man will.

I'm gonna write some posts and record some videos of myself, and post on my FB to help reframe and change his mental narrative--- not targeting at him, but telling ALL my friends why I still believe in love despite breakups and emo pain, and why I don't run away or reject love, and how I heal myself by reaffirming positive beliefs and values about love and romance.

I think by sharing my positive beliefs, values and some introspective questions, it will make him re-think and re-evaluate himself. Will also benefit my other friends/audience too who has broken up or divorced before.

I know he stalks me, and he'll read/watch those posts/videos. He's damn lucky that he came across someone like me, who has studied NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) until master practitioner + good at coaching. I'll crack his coconut head to see things in different light.

Ya, I'm turning frustration into motivation to help more poor souls. I memang already posting my singing videos on FB (got a sweet voice yo ) , now it's time to add some inspiring content about relationships.

I'm done with ranting; it's time to act. Confidence + vulnerability is sexy.

To make sister Raina a little happier...

FT Opinion | Data Points

Young women are starting to leave men behind
Men’s education deficit is increasingly becoming an employment, earnings and outcomes gap, with significant repercussions

by John Burn-Murdoch

https://archive.ph/fNpSR

Hmmm.. maybe there's another perspective you should consider.

He might be addicted to porn, hence why he prefer cybersex vs doing something in real. This is not uncommon in men nowadays.

Maybe you just have a type

Speaking as a man... he might totally miss or misinterpret the hidden message in your videos

I would dump a girl playing hot and cold straight away and totally no contract forever. No mercy. Those hot and cold play is a red flag in my books. Applies to both genders.

Link not valid leh.

Share again

Yeah, he probably got used to porn + DIY. Really missing out all the fun in a real relationship.

Haih yalor. & know what, after 2 months+ of MIA, my ex texted me again today. Shyt. Why am I having guy probs right now? LOL.

Will ask ChatGPT to help craft the right message.

Valid lah

https://archive.ph/fNpSR

This one with paywall, but you can try and clear cookies and see if it works: https://www.ft.com/content/17606f25-1d03-4f...f4-f39989af9bde

Always enjoyed your post, and you seemed like an ideal women to date. The vibe you give off is like feminine, sexy, fun yet intellectual and rational, an almost complete package. You are like a bro in a women body.

But to be fair, if i were to try and court you and somehow succeeded, i would probably get anxious and back off as well.

This reactions is probably due to insecurity and fear of losing control of the situation. Maybe he is the type that pride himself in the ability to keep emotions in check and usually in control of situation.

Catching feelings really does make you vulnerable. So the best is stop it before it happen, which is to never meet in person. But then for someone like that to do sexting is pretty out of character, but it does add spices to the story which is quite enjoyable.

hmm... I'm so flattered by your compliment. Thank you.

I'm not that scary la~ already had some... sweet moments with some guys here. Fast action-takers
Nothing sexual, but still romantic. They weren't disappointed.

Haih that si mangkuk... really missing all the good stuff...

This post has been edited by Ralna: Sep 21 2024, 02:56 AM

Things that are worthwhile are usually never easy and smooth.

I guess that is his way of going into relationship.

Think in a positive light is that if its easy for him to let his guard down with you, in future he would probably be having relationships left right centres based on his qualifications. So a little personality dysfunction would probably make this more challenging and worthwhile when you actually managed to get him to open up with you.

Thanks for saying those comforting words. They do help me to think more positively of him.

Seems like a lot is going on in his mind/heart. Just gotta be patient with him.

Why do you do want him? He don't want to commit, don't bother. If he doesn't like you or don't reciprocal your feelings don't bother. Cut and find new guy. So simple.