Over the years, I've encountered cases of guys (friends and acquaintances-- not strangers) confessing to me after years of stalking me on social media. I didn't even know these secret admirers existed until they suddenly messaged me and asked if I was single and looking for a relationship.

When I gave them a chance to know each other better, they were excited... then they'd start overthinking... then they'd get insecure... and went quiet.

I was like ??? what's wrong with these guys??? 

For the context, these guys had been single for years + had prior failed relationships or had never been in a relationship before. Usually, I just leave them alone to process their own feelings, but honestly, I'm quite curious why this happens.

Why would a guy suppress himself so much when the girl he likes is single, available and is open to exploring a relationship together?

macam girl reject pun salah, accept pun salah. Then might as well the guy doesn't confess if he can't proceed??

Confusing behaviour to women. 

hmm... I'm so flattered by your compliment. Thank you.

I'm not that scary la~ already had some... sweet moments with some guys here. Fast action-takers  
Nothing sexual, but still romantic.  They weren't disappointed. 

Haih that si mangkuk... really missing all the good stuff... 

Yeah, but girls don't mentally operate this way like how you do... unless they have ulterior motives in you (after your money, your status, or some benefits...). This type of women will manipulatively craft themselves to fit your criteria to get something from you.

For a woman to genuinely want to be with a man, she must first feel something for him. For that feeling to happen, the man must allow himself to open up and express his emotions to her--- which is what you can't do or refuse to do.

Your current approach isn't getting you the woman you want (probably for years now), so, might as well improvise, adapt, and overcome-- that's what mature men do.

And lowering my standard? No thank you? I stick to my principles. Girls which don't fulfill what I want, I don't have time for them.

Part of FIRE is delayed gratification and sacrifice. If the girl cannot sacrifice together with me, no point I share the rewards with her.

What, she wait for me at the finish line? Sorry. Nope. I am looking for a girl that will go with me on the journey and not wait for me at the finish line.

My relationship with ex is far more complicated than I'm telling here. He was my first love and first man, and he saved my life. For years, he built me up from the broken pieces I was. I was his project, his masterpiece, his creation. This is why I am faithful to him, wait for him, and will always love him. How can I not love my... human saviour and creator?

However, like any relationships, we had our turbulent downs due to differences and stressors in life, and LDR made it even more challenging for us to cope as a couple.

Why we could last for so long in LDR... well, he's based in Singapore, while I'm in Selangor; we aren't that far apart. Whenever he came to see me, he 'fed' me well emotionally and physically-- made me super happy in and out of bed. The exception was during Covid-- 3 years of lockdown/travel restriction was truly depressing for me.

This year, he said hurtful words and disappeared physically for 6 months. It was really a long time... I felt so sad, unwanted, and touch-starved until I decided to leave him starting 1 Sept 2024...

*

& si mangkuk was the first to message me on 3 Sept 2024... I suspect he's been observing my newsfeed and analysing my behavioural pattern... like, why the timing was so cun?  stalker analyst kah ni

How he confessed... was kinda raw. It's a 7-sentence process.

He said:

He's that simple and direct. Just 2-3 words per sentence. So raw until I found him so cute.

& I responded positively to him. I guess it probably blew up his mind and uhh over-stimulated him and his lil head. Brain fused with behavioral abnormality.

If a player's brain is 32GB RAM, I think his is just 1GB RAM when it comes to relationship. Experienced dudes won't confess in such a crude manner and could take the 'spicy-ness'... and would quickly pounce on me.

*

So ya, ex is having meltdown, while si mangkuk is in push-pull mode.

The best decision for me right now... is to give these two men enough time to process their thoughts and feelings... and observe their actions... what they will do for me, for us. If they don't do anything, then I don't have to choose them. Time will tell.