Off you go baby, best wishes and best of luck as always.

I'm an ethical semi-player la. I don't play with guys' feelings nor take advantage of them, and I don't sleep around... but I like to tease and flirt with guys Good ma, make men happy after being so tensed up at work... and see them blush, smile and laugh. So cute, really.

As for dinner and romance ah... based on my previous experience going out with men, it can be fine dining with some wine/beer. There was this foreign guy who greeted me with a kiss on my hand like how a gentleman would greet a lady, and he complimented how beautiful I was, including noticing my eye colour. I really liked that and felt it was romantic.

Another one I had with my ex... was a night walk at the beach after some Western cuisine by the seaside. Feeling the breeze in the moonlight, just the two of us, holding hands and kissing each other passionately.

I do sports a lot, so once my man turns me on, I can 'play' with him for several hours nonstop--- if he can last that long la.

haha you're so adorable, really care for your bro ramjade a lot.

Well, most men whom I know of just want housewife or working mom type of women--- I call them the good girls: traditional, obedient and tolerant, like most of my female friends.

I'm far from these qualities that most men seek. I love thrills and adventures, I think out of the box, and I challenge the status quo. So... I'm not every man's cup of tea. I know and accept this fact long ago, and I feel okay about it.

I always believe it takes a special man to see and appreciate my depth, variety and multi-facets, but I have yet to meet such a man. I thought my ex was the one for me, but I grew too much and too fast while he was still stagnant, so we no longer match in our vibes and pace.

Ah well, I'll just keep having fun and living my best life, and leave the rest to God/universe to arrange.

Yes, that special man would be a submissive man. The one who will listen to you day and night, listening to your orders. If he is someone like Elon Musk, why would he be entertaining your whims and fancies in the long run? For the short-term, probably yes.

It's going to be very difficult to have two captains in a ship.

When you have two very dominant personalities in a relationship, there will be constant fights and arguments which eventually lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

That's why the traditional baby boomer relationship works well and tend to last long (eg. man goes to work and make household important decisions, woman takes care of household). And that is assuming the man is a hardworking man, not those abusive lazy type of man.

Or otherwise, the woman taking a lead in the relationship while the man be the househusband. But then again, not many women can accept that a man is less successful than her and this relationship usually breaks down as well.

You can see for yourself why many modern relationships don't last very long. For example, take a look at those examples where popular successful actors and actresses who got married which then usually ended in divorce.

This post has been edited by Blofeld: Sep 17 2024, 04:02 AM

These are general assumptions as a male. Here's a broader perspective: (It's long, but definitely thought-provoking especially for males.)

Using an analogy, think of Wonder Woman, or some DC/Marvel female heroines-- these are definitely alpha females whom most men won't take as housewives or working moms. For ease of discussion, let's just call them "strong women"-- feminine, sexy, intelligent, physically fit, agile, high status, powerful, etc.

Ordinary men cannot and dare not control such women, but let me tell you about another group of men who can: the alpha males. The strongest and the most confident men in the male population. The top 1-2%.

These men listen to strong women, because strong women don't nag nor fuss on petty stuff like ordinary women do. When strong women speak, they talk sense, not talk sh*t. Strong women are comrades and equal counterparts, and alpha males respect such women.

I've met alpha males, and my ex is one too. These men do not get intimidated by strong women. They are the top leaders and strongest hunters of their packs. They enjoy hunting strong prey, like a tigress, a lioness or a leopardess, tame them, and display them as their prized possessions in their captives.

That adrenaline rush in taming a strong woman, breaking her willpower to submit to you, and f*cking her damn hard till she begs to stop... can make a man blood boils like he's conquered an army. It is highly addictive because it is a testament to a man's prowess to hunt and tame a strong prey. Ordinary women who are as meek as lambs do not excite such men; too easy.

Men are biologically programmed to need sex and reproduce as many healthy and strong offspring, and having intercourse with some of the strongest women will produce the strongest offspring that will ensure the best genes get passed down.

This is especially true for ancient civilisations, such as the Spartans. Only the strong and fit men were able and allowed to reproduce, and Spartan women were strong and highly respected by Spartan males.

However, as human population increased after WWII (no major wars after that), the need to reproduce strong offspring has drastically declined, and the popular notion of romantic love in marriage diluted the pragmatic nature of marriage: to reproduce strong and healthy offspring in a secure and stable male-female partnership, approved by both families of equal status, resources and power.

Hypothesis: If mankind is endangered, men would, again, select strong females to reproduce. Strong mothers are able to give birth to strong offspring and survive all hardships.

*

From my observation, modern men have been emasculated due to a myriad of factors.

You can read this book: Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It

which says: Boys and men are struggling. Profound economic and social changes of recent decades have many losing ground in the classroom, the workplace, and in the family. While the lives of women have changed, the lives of many men have remained the same or even worsened.

Economically independent women can now flourish whether they are wives or not. Wifeless men, by contrast, are often a mess. Compared to married men, their health is worse, their employment rates are lower, and their social networks are weaker.




“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
– G. Michael Hopf, USA Today bestselling author of post-apocalyptic fiction.

We are in good times, which is why there are more weak men now--- and these are the men who dislike strong women.

*

Lastly, respect is earned. You want a woman to listen to you, you earn her respect first.



Women are biologically programmed to respect strong men, adore them and submit to them.

So, if a man feels disrespected or overpowered by a woman, something is obviously wrong somewhere. Fix that, instead of blaming women. Weak men whine and blame, strong men refine and tame.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Sep 17 2024, 06:38 AM

Harsh reality is that biological clock is crucial for healthy offspring.....
Most good men / lady r high in demand and taken early

For me very simple. I have set of 6 non negotiables. They can't fulfill or have what I am looking for, next. In case you are wondering, they got nothing to do with if the girl is hot, good in bed, flirty, hot body.

My non negotiables are simple and hard to pass at the first same time. Lol.

First of them is frugality. This alone filter out lots of girls who only want to have fun and enjoy their life. I called it YOLO.

2nd after they have fulfilled the 6 non negotiables, I look for girls who will make my life easier and not make it harder. Stuff I pickup from one of my friend. Find someone who make your life easier.

I am simple guy who live a simple boring life so I don't need any excitement which turn off most girls as
1. They want excitement
2. They want to enjoy life (traveling, fine dining, cafe hopping)

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Sep 17 2024, 08:03 AM

TS, my very twisted opinion is he did not want to spend time to court you to into bed. Since you have demanded that you need movies, dinners, spend quality time before u will give in to intimacy. He must be thinking this takes too much time.
Better go for tinder chicks who bow to money immediately.

Also i have kool setori about men coming out of the woodwork suddenly and confessing. Might post at /k soon. Since got triggered by you.

Fertility preservation tech is highly advanced now. This is why it is best that one focuses on building wealth and career, so that one can afford this option if there's no luck in getting good man/woman yet.

As for where to find good men/women, it isn't that hard based on demographics, and if necessary, consider going international.

I believe in the law of attraction-- that the right thoughts and energy will attract what we want, and I believe that God/universe/fate will bring the right man to me. My role is to be fully ready to love him and accept his love when we finally meet. I don't know who he is yet, but I am preparing my next version of best self for him, and I actively socialise and upskill myself. When the time is right, he will appear.

Likewise, men should also have positive mindset and actions.

By turning off excitement in your life, you are restricting the feminine energy within you and the women you're seeing/pursuing. A man who are overly stoic and repressed will not know how to properly love a woman in the way she can feel loved.

Feminine energy is essential creative, vibrant, nurturing, free-flowing and life-giving. This is why women need to have fun and love to have fun, because when they don't, they become more masculine (out of balance), which is not good as it affects her self-esteem and her interpersonal relationships, and other areas of life.

When a man is out a balance with himself (too much yang, lack yin), he sucks away feminine energy from women, and it is tiring for a women to love such a man. Extremely tiring.

A loving man is a giver. An unloved man is a taker. We all like givers more than takers, or at least, matchers who give and take equally.

With that said, you can set as many conditions as you want-- we all have our own ideals, nothing wrong with that, BUT you have to be fair. If you take one thing away from women, you compensate in another way that she can accept and still feel nurtured/loved by you. It isn't fair to take only but don't give in return-- this is self-serving for own gains and interests... at the loss of women.

Just giving my perspective. I'm sure you have your fine qualities, but if you want the women you're looking for, do consider these factors.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Sep 17 2024, 12:02 PM

If that's the case, then I think I'm too 'expensive' for him. He's better off with cheap women whom he can easily get on Tinder, who can offer free sex without any pre-requisites.

Haha sure, do post. Would love to read.

Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Another joke!!!!!!!

Serious, "FEMALE IS WORST INVESTMENT FOR MALE"!!!!!!!!!!!!

The alpha/beta nomenclature needs to stop la

At the end of the day, its all about compatibility with your life goals. Neither should try to seek to control each other, but to work out a good dynamic that allows for proper decision making.

Typically it is said that the men are to lead the family, which means they make the final decision. However that doesn't mean there isn't a discussion beforehand. Biologically men are better at making hard choices without getting bogged down by anxiety. Which also means that the man, takes the accountability for the decision, if anything goes south, its his fault even if the suggestion came from the woman.

Now if the woman in the relationship is better at the decision making than the man, then the woman takes up the leadership role. If she's comfortable with that, then that's ok.

Everything you say here is true, but missing the other 1/2 of the picture.

After he's dominated you, then what? Do you become forever submissive to him? If you do, then you might lose that quality that attracted you to him. If you continuously challenge him, then it might become tiring in the long run, as if he's truly the "alpha" type; it means he has a target/goal in his life to achieve and you may become an impediment to that.

Then there's also your internal feelings to consider as well. All relationships reach a period of stability (you just got out of a long one, so you should know), and even within that there are different stages in life. The constant pleasure seeking and being free spirited works very well when you're young but will become a source of misery if you wish to start a family. Children will anchor you down heavily. The question is whether you can adapt, or whether your self-worth/identity is heavily tied to being a "free spirited strong woman"

Now that's not to say you can't have your cake and eat it too. Just be wary of how you define/identify with terms/labels/value. It affects your overall perception of the world and yourself.

For me I prioritise frugality above everything else. If she is not frugal, forget about it.

Why? I aim for FAT FIRE. I am already LEAN FIRE. If a woman hinders my journey towards FAT FIRE, no matter how attractive she is, I won't go for her. For me, a woman must complement a man and not make his life difficult.

After dating with many girls I disagree with this statement... modern day girls are not like our mothers from the 80s or 70s. Women's rights and that MeToo thingie are all over the place now. They deserve their enjoyment as much as men lah.

We should see woman as an accompaniment but not a means to an end to fulfill our goal... they are not our "tools", so to speak.

These days I try to keep an open mind and tolerate with different girl's behaviours. It makes my dating life easier and mor enjoyable as well.

Like my high school classmate brought me to badminton lessons and we dine together afterwards. Something new to explore for me and I indulge in the fun as well.

Then you happen to see the wrong girls. Of course they deserve their right to enjoy themselves. I always ask the girls can you survive suddenly if no job? Most of them avoid the answer to that question. For me very simple. What are your priorities? 2nd, you can't have everything. You need to give something to get something. Sacrifice. No free lunch. Unless born with a golden spoon.

For me, I can. I am looking for a woman who can also or working their way there.

I have seen some girls like that and because of that, I am not lowering my standard.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Sep 17 2024, 03:46 PM

I believe TS is the queen type of lady who deserve a lasting relationship such as that of Michelle Yeoh with Jean Todt.

TS could be patient. The One who match TS vibes and soul, should be able to respect, love, nurture with a whole heart yet equally or stronger than TS , and most importantly, would be consistently extraordinary Steady towards TS.


Steady is very important.

Well said. Indeed most women these days can live well without guys, but I can't imagine my life without a wife... And yes, I will select "the strongest woman" to "reproduce". That biological instinct can't be denied. I am a Darwinist after all.

Oh and it seems now Takudan has a competitor in her essay writing competition in this subforum.

Nomenclature is necessary for quick classification of human mindset and behaviour. However, we should also acknowledge that human mindset and behaviour can be fluid and evolve or regress based on triggers, reactions and other factors.

As for myself, I am a mix of playfulness vs seriousness, dominance vs submission, freedom vs commitment, and other contrasting traits -- depends on how I balance my masculine and feminine energy to make the best blend; too much or too little of each trait isn't good.

Just like mixing liquor + syrup + citrus to make the perfect cocktail... it will taste heavenly when you hit the right ratio.

*

However, sometimes being out of balance is good but temporarily-- just like how I love to be playful now instead of being serious after getting out of a long-term relationship. If I am being serious right now, I will feel unhappy and sad that the relationship didn't work out... so, I need more fun and freedom in my life right now to keep myself feeling good instead of miserable.

When life gives you too much lemons until it's overly bitter and sour, add more sugar to make some tasty lemonade.

Thanks for your lovely compliment. You understand me well between the lines.

The new guy... he messaged me again yesterday after a week of no contact. I guess, after having some space and time apart, he has calmed down and thought of our relationship further. He seems more stable (not anxious anymore), and ready to allow his/our feelings to flow naturally...

Will see how things go...