My bad for not being clear. I'm referring to guy friends/acquaintances who are on my FB for years, not some random strangers.

We studied at the same university/high school/came from same hometown, and we didn't get to talk much... basically we stayed friends on FB for years with no contact, but suddenly they'd appear 10-18 years later to tell me they liked me.

That's why I didn't reject but kept an open attitude, but their behaviour confused me.

Ahh, I see... so guys do uhh search their existing contacts for available girls huh.

No, I'm not married yet. Was engaged but he called off due to his own issues. Then my secret admirers started appearing one by one... and they confused me. LOL.

I'll give an example.

Recently, there was guy from my university who asked to be in a relationship with me, and I said yes, I'd give him a chance to get to know each other better.

Then he asked if we could get physically intimate (non-sexual, e.g. holding hands, hugging, cuddling). I said yeah, if we caught feelings for each other, we should just follow the natural flow.

Then he started overthinking: what happens if we can't control ourselves and we have xxx?

Then he started worrying about his 'performance' because he was single for years and couldn't 'last' that long.

In total, he initiated meeting me 3 times, but also cancelled 3 times, then he went MIA.

Me:  

We haven't even started dating yet, and he's already thinking soooooooooo far ahead.

He works as an analyst. So, to me, it's more like his own overthinking/insecurity issues rather than my own...

Er not my type. I prefer girls who are serious only, want relationship. Sorry.

...

Also, maybe, I think I might have unintentionally triggered him by asking this: "Assuming we do get along well, are you into marriage and children? Just wanna know if you're looking for companionship only or something more. Then I can set the right expectations. Some guys I met before didn't want to have further commitments."

...

I read though everything. Still not interested.

For me, a woman must complement a man and not make his life difficult.

These are general assumptions as a male. Here's a broader perspective: (It's long, but definitely thought-provoking especially for males.)

Using an analogy, think of Wonder Woman, or some DC/Marvel female heroines-- these are definitely alpha females whom most men won't take as housewives or working moms. For ease of discussion, let's just call them "strong women"-- feminine, sexy, intelligent, physically fit, agile, high status, powerful, etc.

Ordinary men cannot and dare not control such women, but let me tell you about another group of men who can: the alpha males. The strongest and the most confident men in the male population. The top 1-2%.

These men listen to strong women, because strong women don't nag nor fuss on petty stuff like ordinary women do. When strong women speak, they talk sense, not talk sh*t. Strong women are comrades and equal counterparts, and alpha males respect such women.

I've met alpha males, and my ex is one too. These men do not get intimidated by strong women. They are the top leaders and strongest hunters of their packs. They enjoy hunting strong prey, like a tigress, a lioness or a leopardess, tame them, and display them as their prized possessions in their captives.

That adrenaline rush in taming a strong woman, breaking her willpower to submit to you, and f*cking her damn hard till she begs to stop... can make a man blood boils like he's conquered an army. It is highly addictive because it is a testament to a man's prowess to hunt and tame a strong prey. Ordinary women who are as meek as lambs do not excite such men; too easy.

Men are biologically programmed to need sex and reproduce as many healthy and strong offspring, and having intercourse with some of the strongest women will produce the strongest offspring that will ensure the best genes get passed down.

This is especially true for ancient civilisations, such as the Spartans. Only the strong and fit men were able and allowed to reproduce, and Spartan women were strong and highly respected by Spartan males.

However, as human population increased after WWII (no major wars after that), the need to reproduce strong offspring has drastically declined, and the popular notion of romantic love in marriage diluted the pragmatic nature of marriage: to reproduce strong and healthy offspring in a secure and stable male-female partnership, approved by both families of equal status, resources and power.

Hypothesis: If mankind is endangered, men would, again, select strong females to reproduce. Strong mothers are able to give birth to strong offspring and survive all hardships.

*

From my observation, modern men have been emasculated due to a myriad of factors.

You can read this book: Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It

which says: Boys and men are struggling. Profound economic and social changes of recent decades have many losing ground in the classroom, the workplace, and in the family. While the lives of women have changed, the lives of many men have remained the same or even worsened.

Economically independent women can now flourish whether they are wives or not. Wifeless men, by contrast, are often a mess. Compared to married men, their health is worse, their employment rates are lower, and their social networks are weaker.
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
– G. Michael Hopf, USA Today bestselling author of post-apocalyptic fiction.

We are in good times, which is why there are more weak men now--- and these are the men who dislike strong women.

*

Lastly, respect is earned. You want a woman to listen to you, you earn her respect first.
Women are biologically programmed to respect strong men, adore them and submit to them.

So, if a man feels disrespected or overpowered by a woman, something is obviously wrong somewhere. Fix that, instead of blaming women. Weak men whine and blame, strong men refine and tame. 

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