whats your opinion on divorce?

at what point you decide to divorce?

how do u feel for your children?

pls share coz i never met one in my circle.

No opinion…. It’s a matter between 2 adult parties.

I have a pair of classmates, both doctors from Uni who got married, had kids, and now are separated but we still have both of them over for our Uni group gatherings…

This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 7 2024, 10:23 PM

how old their children when they separated ?

Quite small still - year (primary) 4 and year 7 (around secondary 1) they are based in Australia)

I'm married and childless as a orphan long time ago since age of 9 to be honest i have no experience how the life look like if divorce

But i can tell you how the feel like when parents after divorce

I'm abandoned from my own family if you ask me how i feel i have no idea as a children i only know that a 360 degree change literally become 天生天养 other than orphanage is my temporary roof and shelter

I only know my parents divorce because of my father business and stock failed until no way to turning back probably due to greedy that all i can describe

Probably children nowadays have a better life than me compared to last Time if parents nowadays after divorce

All i can say once you have the planning tak kisah you divorce or not, keep the children or not once your heart no longer there just let it go faster faster rather than create more harm .

Well, we have a couple of people that are divorced from reality in /k….

(Edited - apparently, the original message was considered inappropriate and had insulted the sensitivities of a certain segment of the forum users) - for that, my apologies.



This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 8 2024, 09:09 AM

how u define "heart no longer there" ?

About the children, pls keeps matters between adults stay between adults.

There's no need to act any different if you love them, and your responsibilities remain the same.

Marriage might not work, but the family remains.

hello there

i got divorced last december after 6 years of marriage. we were childhood friend and i've known her since i was 11 from an online game we used to play together. i am now 32 and she is 34.

1) at the point where i see there is no change of heart from my ex-wife after i tried to fix everything for almost a year

2) we did try to hold on for our son who is now 5yo. but some things are not fixable anymore.

3) Yes there will be lots changes in our life. But we keep the things between us only. We are now co-parenting and we took turn caring for him. usually i spend the
week with him and he went to his mother on the next one.

4) Financially became unstable for me because previously we shared the bills together. So now it is 100% on me it hit me like a truck. One of the reason of my
divorce is due to my inability to earn more and provide a better living condition to my family.

5) it felt bad so bad during the early days, when i had no one to talked to. i've had sleepless nights and all. now i started accepting it and it slowly calmed me down.
currently i am staying at my friend house as he let me stay to finish the edah period. Although i am overstaying for a bit because i am fixing my old house.


My opinion: Divorce should not be a a bad thing to begin with. but we in Malaysia had always been a certain view on it. it could mean a fresh start or anything.
Sometimes, things just don't work out they way we expected it to be.

This post has been edited by EmpireAnt: May 8 2024, 08:52 AM

This.

What a beautiful, mature answer

So sorry to hear this. My cousin's wife left him for the same reason... he couldn't make enough to support her wants/needs.

my ex-wife was diagnosed with ADHD anxiety and depression and we're unable to work for almost a year.

i did not have enough time to push myself to earn as much as we did together to support my family.

during the covid time when EPF allows for withdrawal, i took all of that just to support my family's commitment and i depleted every single cent covering our expenses and some of her medication.

i believe some words now : "you will never do enough for someone, if that someone wasn't meant for you"

jus hang in there for d kids at least till they r grown up. divorce jus a recognition of ones status. especially those already financially stable. divorce is nothing.

I guess it was for the better, that it turned out the way it did.

I'm not a divorcee but have several friends who went through divorce.

Personally I think divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. Sure, at first it might feel like you've failed but for me sometimes things just don't work out for you and your ex partner. Eventually you'll see the bright side of it.

Most of my friends got divorce either their ex-husbands cheated on them, or just financially didn't provide enough for their family. But they're now much happier with their lives and a couple of them has remarried.

Recently a friend of mine told me she want a divorce and will proceed after she safely deliver her first baby. Apparently her husband changed after they got married, he had been obsessing with his ex-wife and he's barely home, he's always at his ex-wife's place with an excuse that he's spending time with his children.

What a way to start her life. Imagine delivering the baby and getting a divorce.

Correct, I have friends who have divorced and as far as I can tell a divorce isn’t the end of a happy marriage, but an end to a bad one.

One friend told me when he broke the news to his kids, they were pretty relaxed about it because many of their classmates have divorced parents too. It seems divorce is more acceptable, and ‘normal’ these days

Everyone is in different life stages i don't have proper way to explain to you

All i can say children natural instinct is very good tak kisah oku or Normal, they know what happened but they just don't understand

one thing i would say for people who plans to marry please be financially very strong.

i will even say at least be a top m40 or t20 before becoming the head of the family.

with this strong financial, you can easily lead your family and provide them with a much much better environment.

of course, you can find a decent humble partner who are okay with lower living status but that is rare. people's heart can change.

as a man, you're only loved as long as you provide.

was that an expectation from her, you or both?

men are meant to be provider of the family. I personally cannot accept if a man earns much less than me. it's not about the money per se, it's about how one's mind is aligned to improve life.

It's the rationale where if I can make my own money, why would I even need you, and men often put their self image as provider of the family, less provider of emotional needs. that is why many high ranked highly educated women end up being single.

im not even a high maintenance person, have 0 liking to branded bags etc, love roadside food, walking is my fav things to do. restaurants make me anxious as too many protocols to follow, but even if im low maintenance, it's about the alignment of mindset.

I personally don't think it's wrong for women to want a men with a roof, and a car. takkan go for a guy with only a bike. women's nature is to look after kids and to ensure the kids survive.

it's a lonely journey out there for men, but also for women.

not easy have marriage these days, both exhausted, drain of energy and money, and too much problems.

in no ways my above statement is directed to you but in general.

thanks for sharing your story.

Based on timeline, ragnarok online or maple story? lol.

stay strong bro. I have adhd as well, it's a torture to ur SO when u started to spiral. Rumah bersepah and procrastination is the norm.

If both no kids and feel like cannot fix things anymore better to go separate ways.

If got kids, and kids is still small. Then you both gotta think of the kids and try to mend things. Unless there is violence or 3rd party involve then no choice, but priority must be given to the well being of your children.

Yeah, it was just tragic. Some people would consider to give some time for the partner to correct their mistakes, etc. But her husband refused to talk to her regarding his attitude. The other day they were arguing and he stormed out from their house, got into his car and drove off, while my friend was trying to open the front passenger door. He stepped on the gas and my friend was dragged a little bit and then fell down. Badly injured with cuts and bruises. She was 8 months pregnant at that time. Dude claimed he didn't noticed she was on the side of the car.

I was just told she delivered her baby this morning btw.

My parents divorce, my older sister divorce, my mother in law divorce, 5 of my MIL siblings divorce, many of my wife's cousins divorce.

I think it's only a matter of time for me

CF 988 also has one woman call.

the husband was very romantic when they were dating. but i think hunter got his prey. 180 degree changed.

now having relationship with 2 women... and he doesnt know she knows. CF asks her to decide what is her bet she is willing to lose. get prepared. and she is scared of him even when he is the wrong one.

so we never know one true self even after married. always keep some love for yourself. never all for the other person.

Yeah, especially if it's amicable. Either way there's no reason to stay in a marriage if both of you couldn't stand each other/have issues. People back then stayed because they want to save face, financial reasons and because they worry about the kids. I came from a dysfunctional family, my parents barely tolerated each other and they still do at the age of 64. I always believed that they'd be happier if they had gotten divorce. My siblings and I too would be happier, I believe.

am I doom?

My wife is the bread winner.

unker divorcee here..
reason - unker lost job back in 2018.. ex wifey walked away with kids cause deem unker useless no income mah... now unker is single....
moral of story when man with family try not to lose your job if you do have a backup plan otherwise susah....

yeah... especially if wifey earn more than you

That's always the case. Poor that woman, hope she finds happiness soon.

Agreed on what you said. Love others but love yourself first.

Obviously not everyone feels and thinks that way.

Are you a liability to the family? Do you contribute anything to your family, monetary and non monetary?

I have neighbours who are househusbands because their wives significantly earn more. The husband take cares of the kids and the house. Why not? someone has to do it. And they look happy to me. I don't know what happens behind closed doors but they appear happy.

was that an expectation from her, you or both?

it was both. but i have a more 'logical' time line.

before married, i already got a house, fully furnished and everything. but it was a medium cost apartment so no lift, free parking etc. the surrounding is not the cleanest that time because the jmb is in bad state. my self and few others step up and re-arrange the jmb to fully working state and restore almost everything and then it got so much better.

But my ex-wife, keep on wanting to move into a condominium because she doesn't like the house currently we living in. i request for joint loan if wanted to move but she said i was supposed to provide it, not shared. there is no end to this request. I do want to move to a better place, but of course not in this very quick time.

i paid for almost everything (groceries, house , bills) except my son's day care, which she paid. We always eat at home and i am the one who cooks and do all the chores because she usually reached home late.

she also ask for pocket money when eating outside because she said all her friend got few hundred monthly allowance from their husband. She also brought up that her friends went for vacation every once few months.

yes, maybe it was my mistake thinking i could afford to marry and even had a child with my current condition. it's a lesson and motivation for me now for taking care of my son.

runescape lol. i still login once in awhile just for old time sake.

yes, those affected her work a lot. she changed job 3 times and finally call a quit.

is it all about money?

i think there are some married couple who just not compatible in way of thinking. they cant even agree and will get into argument even for the simplest things. in my personal experience also most of my argument is due to attitude and failed communication, not necessarily because of money (although it could be rooted or solved by money lol🤭)

if money is everything why there are many poor couple who are happy? just yesterday i went to pasar malam and observe poor people. they looked happy i feel so jealous of them. but maybe im wrong.

lol your name also boss-ku, i think should be a boss

jokes aside, i don't know your condition. but i do think man should be bread winner to be looked up as a leader.

how do face your family and your wife's family bro?

its one thing i cannot imagine.

so much money wasted and so much time and relationship built.

instead of a happy time, Hari Raya have become my most hated event. i built up anxiety just thinking about it.

my family were quite supportive. they don't say much and just accept as jodoh tak ada.

the always check up on me these few months and always asked whether i am okay. they are more afraid if i got into depression and harm myself etc.

usually when i visit, they treat me a lot. makan2, go jalan2. and i am thankful for them.

as for ex-wife's family, i treat them with respect like usual. they are still a family for my son.

money wasted, yes that could be true.

time and relationship is something dear. it is not a bad thing. those are sweet memories and bad memories and deserve to be remembered and treasured.

i think it will help me appreciate more of the time left with the people we love.

not nescessary la. depends on the reason why u salary low also. if by choice then okay.

If u got trouble holding down a job long term keep kena goreng then end up become freeloader. Low salary is just a symptom of bigger problem. at that moment u just lose all the credibility to be the decision maker, everything u said will be doubtful by default.

I have been married for almost 14 years. struggling financially to cope with my full time housewife. we have 2 kids.

The biggest problem is financial where im earning decent income but not able to provide luxury that she demands. worst is she is superstitious where she kept asking me to change name, change phone number because those number dont bring me luck which i certainly do not believe at all.

Argued several times from this and this is draining me mentally to come back home everyday facing this type of nonsense.

Been hinting about divorce several times during bad argument but in the end she didnt suggest divorce.

I do most of the housework despite working but somehow im always the one to blame whenever any problem happen at home.

Now im just hanging on for our kids and i cannot accept single parenting.

Wife was the chief breadwinner for nearly a decade, while I was doing my housemanship, medical officership, specialist exams, junior specialty positions etc.

I'm lucky she never walked out on me.

Now she's retired and I'm the only breadwinner...

... deswai I will also retire next year, so I don't have to support her hahaha.

you married a gold digger. I'm not surprised because there are many ladies like this usually among millennials or gen z.

I see many people these days during courting time, the guys splurge on the girl, buying many gifts, paying for every meal. the girl doesn't do the same. It's OK not to expect from someone whom you love BUT when you get married, you'll have lots of commitments, your house loan, car loan, health expenses, expenses for the baby, education, food, groceries, utility bills. It's a different ball game altogether. If the girl does not chip in because she carried her behaviour from the courting stage, that's not wife material. Incidentally, the prettier ones usually have this attitude.

This post has been edited by abhipraaya: May 8 2024, 02:29 PM

That's her problem then. You've done your best. In fact she didn't accept who you are. Then why still take you and complain this and that.

You've done way too much for her. She will know it's her loss one day.

That's why I say. Put aside money. It's alignment of thinking. Same level can be happy.

Many things on the surface cannot be trusted. We only see what we wish to have. Every family has its own problem.

Seek peace in everything you pursue. Be it single or married. If someone brings chaos in the relationship then it's time to ciao.

She's also another problem. Why is she a full time housewife but you're doing most of the housework.

Either or is painful. Choose your pain. I know some men who got vasectomy couldn't leave their marriage as they love their kids too much.

yes maybe i did. glad i am free from those illogical request as of now. it keeps my mind healthy.

about buying gifts and stuffs, i also realised now that each birthday i threw her a small party and got her gifts. i received none in return and usually the birthday wishes is almost on the middle of the day lol.

this last bolded part here is kind of true. but i liked her way before we physically meet and those times there are no handphones with camera etc.

yes i have accepted it now. it bring peace to me. there are other ways to enjoy life. now, i always plan the week with my son.

Maybe go marriage counseling.

kids how old? Not easy jaga kids and the house. House work is the most insane monotonous repetitive shit that will drain your soul. Everyday without skip must take cloth masuk washing machine, wait 1hour+ then hang them all. Chase after the sun, beware of rains and to collect them as soon as dry else those cloths become damp when the weather cools suddenly. On top of that got kids at home ur sink forever has some stuff waiting to be cleaned, slack a bit the whole sink will become like gunung there. Other than that u need to plan groceries, plan what to cook, keep track of kids enrichment classes, school progress and attend to their daily request.

At the same time housewife social circle also damn limited compared to your work place. They daily interact with kids. The adults around them aint normal either, cos they will be similar housewife or educators (honestly in malaysia the teacher all got very bad ppl skill).

Finally those housewife will always feel "trapped". Cos everything they do will revolve around the kids/family. Totally no time to do whatever fuck they want. You can go snake at work place, go social with kolik. They have very limited options cos need jaga kids. At night need to be like prostitute attend to ur sexual need no matter how tired. worse if u sour face her and question her "what did u do whole day?".

And remember, housewife basically got no retirement fund. No EPF. Their fate is solely on ur hands. You can divorce her when she is 50s' . if u are cruel enough u can bankrupt her through divorce proceeding just so she give up on lengthy battle to claim half ur asset. because she literally has no savings for lawyer unless u give her bonus cash in her own name occasionally. Everything she has will be solely from u. It's not the type of life u will call secure. Which also the reason why housewife non stop asking for this n that, they just want to feel appreciated but using the wrong method.

As a house husband I am starting to get depress now

But as a person who had gone through shit, I know I can survive even with 0 everything

This post has been edited by B0ss_ku: May 8 2024, 03:22 PM

Kids are 8 and 12. yes i agree housework is never easy since i do most of it including cleaning the rooms and ironing. we live with my parents so basically most of the house work is done by my mother. we only settle our own room. we do have dryer but she decided not to use it as she claim it will damaged the clothes which i dont mind. kids spend most of the time outside and transport is all well taken care of by me and my parent since they working nearby the school.

I agree work do have more time for social and i do not stop her from going out. she goes out occasionally with her friends.

yes she doesnt have EPF which is why i subscribed for i-sayang which transfer partial of my EPF to her to safeguard her future.

my problem is she will always ask me to go all out to do more side business to earn more and stop hesitating and stop planning. Just do it first but my heart keep asking what if it failed badly and affect our whole family since im the sole breadwinner.

She doesnt bother about money and buy what she deem needed. pricing was never her priority. Thats why my credit card that i borrowed her owe more than 15k and i have insisted this is her own spending she needs to own up to it. i have paid a lot in the past but enough is enough. she rather just pay the minimum amount every month and take her own sweet time to clear it.

I have pretty much sharing on this.

My parents divorced because
1) father had affair, not responsible for work always dream earn big end up owe a lot debt
2) mother was so into her own sad world and keep instruct the children (hence me and other sib when we were still very small) to scold father with whatever rude word she like to hear.

Dragged this broken marriage (at least 20yrs from the day it broken) until the day I financially independent already (means i already matang come out work earn own living). i get a lawyer, arrange go court and have them officially divorced. I'm so fed up with this stupid broken thing (father talk bad to me about mother, mother talk bad to me about father)

I love both my parents, but i hate their never-ending fight which most of the time involve the children. (love my siblings because we go through up and down together)

my comment, please divorce if things cant work out well, the longer it drag, suffer are on the children only. and yes, involve children in the fight is already very wrong at the first place. Really ruin the childhood badly.

Now here is the problem when you say it's normal because the environment generalize it (classmate also consist of divorce parents).

In future, all these kids won't take marriage oath seriously. They can just sign the paper and divorce when they deem it fit.

Which makes me conclude that most of divorce case come from broken family background. their parents divorce, to them divorce is a "norm" too.

From my POV, I will never allow my child to have any romantic relationship with broken family kids. I nurture them well, end up become broken. what's the point then?

Welcome back.

it's you to teach them marriage is a serious matter, not for you to decide who they end up marrying.

some intact families have more dark secret than those who made peace and chose divorce.

Do you mean broken family kid as in single parent?

How is having a relationship or even marrying a single parent child, gonna make your child end up become broken?

Care to share your view?

This post has been edited by jojolicia: May 8 2024, 04:27 PM

How do you know that the "friend" who divorced was from a broken family background?

oh please. You were young once, you know how it feels to fall in love right?

some even goes to extend disowned their parents but last last crawl back seek forgiveness when shit hits the fan.

Now you come tell me parents not enough educating them? I rather go preventive way.

I am happily married for 16 years and I think divorces are normal in society

One should not view it as taboo or a ‘problem’, I for one cannot understand why it should be frowned upon

This post has been edited by Lembu Goreng: May 8 2024, 04:12 PM

She just having a screwed mindset to conclude all child from broken family will tend to end up in divorce in future and will not take marriage seriously. Divorce can happen for many reasons even Roger Kwok also recently just divorced. As for Andy Hui can survive because his spouse chose to forgive based on her religion teaching.




But nowdays like what been said by some here, if the boy no money poor already will kick him away already !!

This post has been edited by Accord2018: May 8 2024, 04:24 PM

problem isn't everyone were young once. problem is you put 'death sentence' on all kids from divorced family.

mostly divorce happen because of money issue or betrayal issue punya. cannot run away much. Or at older age, no more feelings liao like Roger Kwok case.
Is it Roger kwok and Wang lee Hom from broken family? zz

want to share my story brief and short, not good in writing essay

im a divorcee and just remarried not long ago

i married young age 21, cos pregnant. ex not working. i work alone to support the family. bought low cost property and move out from in law house.
ex changed became abusive and disrespect to me after he found job. tahan 8 yrs. cannot tahan any longer. divorce
i moved out from my own house, kid follow ex and MIL. and i rent far away, changed job and start all over again. every week met my kid bring go jalan.
(after several police report) because my ex refuse to let me see my kid.

met my current husb at new place. initially planning not to have kid cos i fobia already. YOLO
We stay in as couple for 9 years, never have big arguments, no shouting, we discuss and fix issue openly, we share chores, we share bills, we share hobby.
we share everything. and just recently i decide to open my heart for a family again. we got married recently and planning to have 1 kid only. haha

as for my gal, she grow up and we are like sister now

my advice, not all divorce are bad.
no use to maintain a marriage if no love and respect for each other. it will just make the couple and kid to suffer more.

I agree with your sentiment. But who am i to disallow my child to date person of his choice. I will have to trust my children choice la, after all they are the product of my genes coupled with my nurturing. On top of that i pray to god always that my children has good logical mind with great EQ. Fengshui is not my cup of tea so i havent done anything from than angle yet.

On the other hand many couple at home also scolding each other daily and fighting proxy war using the children, they remain married forever but deep down they hate each other to the core. This kind of couple the kids be better than kids from divorced couple? What i want to say is even non-divorced family also is not as good as it seems, probably worse. Your dotter may end up getting abused yet she don't dare to explore the divorce route because "my mummy said broken family don't deserve romantic relationship cos will break other ppl's kid worrrr".

World not so black and white leh.

btw. welcome back. lol

This post has been edited by netflix2019: May 8 2024, 05:00 PM

because your belief and principle starts from home.

if daddy keep beating mummy, its also okay to raise hand on future wife/ husband. If daddy keep gambling, also no problem once hit legal age enter Genting. It's all due to 'normal'.

root already spoilt, why still try luck?

yeah i know i'm stereotyping. but come on, if there are plenty of perfect family out there, why must settle with broken one?

kids grown up from dysfunctional family, they tend to develop cynical feeling. How many parents send them for therapy to cure their traumatic experience?

i won't deny those that survive has very strong mental well being. but the others that don't?

even you go supermarket, are you gonna be okay with spoiled egg even its the last one? that is just material wise. now we are talking about partner you spend the rest of your life with.

topkek la. stop saying that word. i was sus'ed cause of my face. to you, yes, remember me!

anyway back at it. you know he/she is trouble, yet you choose to go ahead dismissing all the negative probability. This is like no different when you meet zha nan/ zha ni, you still together in hoping you could change them?

you got 4. can la give your blessing with trial and error. kek. ayam just got the one and only. let me die in peace ok, don't make me keksim.

also its bullshit couple live together without argument. we are not in Disneyland ya.

how old are the kids, if u dont mind sharing with us

sometimes I am afraid what will happened to these kids mental health, seeing their parents no longer together

I have seen some psychos in the past that came from broken family

the way they treat and manipulate ppl for attention is quite scary. since they lack of it.

This post has been edited by JimbeamofNRT: May 9 2024, 09:50 AM

The saddest thing is the kids are both on the spectrum. One less so than the other. IINM one is 8 the other is 11.

Ur in medical field bro.... key word is medical field.....ur wife is smart as she knows is fish on! (as in for the long term)..... lets just say if ur just a normal office worker..... things might be very different today.

It’s a fair point. But there were still a lot of uncertainties in those early years. She didn’t know if I’d pass my specialist exams - the pass rate is dismal, and even after that, she wouldn’t know if I’d be successful in private practice.

It’s a commitment she made as a wife - and same on my part, a commitment I made as a husband. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.

my goodness

But children from broken family will love to be with ur children that is from a wholesome family.....most of the time is like that..... its a normal cycle....

my POV
that's why we need to teach our kids the value of family right from the start
we never know what will happen to our journey in life but whatever time we have, we need to teach our kids good value in life

kids will observe what we do.even if we dont say it.they will imitate it indirectly.

So sorry to hear that bro. Hope you are strong to overcome this. I dont have the right words to say to you right now. May all be well soon with you.

Not many girls are willing to share bills and chores (esp when they know the guy's salary upfront), some girls are so afraid that their guy partner will take advantage of them (esp on chores) and they only do the bare minimum and expect to be loved n cared..... the guy partner is not blind.... we can normally see, and when we see u don't really have heart to take care of the house and turn it into a home..... its really a no go for most normal guys....( normal guys here means we r financially capable). If u dont really have heart to do chores so the guy will normally take over .... and that is how the distance will grow further.....

Which part of "I am happily married for 16 years" did you not understand? Does it sound like I'm in an abusive marriage?

Being in an abusive marriage is not OK. That is why I find divorces should not be frowned upon and can be a solution. People divorce to escape bad relationships. Since you're pretty much against divorces, so you'd rather stay in a abusive relationship than being divorced? That makes you an oxymoron for being against abuses but not condoning divorces.

Are you from a broken family or abusive relationship? That could explain why your responses are highly emotional and hostile. Not surprised you just came back from sus.

we have been brainwashed that $ is everything these days. too much peer pressure around us, sometime we forget how to live like a decent human being.

i wanna add more but , perhaps later.

i think i have made it clear that the issue is you generalizing the divorce as normal in today's society. which part of my reply make you failed to see that?

bad relationship then why commit from the beginning? what happened during the screening process? why accident never wear protection? why don't approach counseling when thing doesn't work out? why only marry then everything start to surface?

you tak kan want marry just marry jer. not compatible still proceed to sign the paper, pressure or no choice?

that's why easy come, easy go. very convenient eh.

happy marriage for you, good. continue uphold it towards generation. truly appreciate it.

me from broken family/ abusive relationship when am very upfront towards it? lol dude. try harder okay.

and yes, i was sus'ed again for my face. woman and jealousy tiada berpisah.

The thing is, a divorce IS a normal occurrence in today's society. Just look around you. Even kids see that - wasn't that point made clear?

It is no longer taboo, it's something people are no longer afraid to speak or share about. It is becoming more acceptable. And why shouldn't it be?

Nobody said marriage is easy, and people don't simply divorce at their convenience like what you are trying to make it out to be. I am sure people have worked through a lot of things to save their marriage, but for some divorce is the end result.

Good that you are not from an abusive family....so why then so angry?

Genuine question from fellow enthusiast angler. What bait do you use that is so effective?

Would love to learn from a true master.

U talking about real fishing or flame baiting? Lol.

Those who know, know hehehehe

This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 9 2024, 12:04 PM

dont think I can help much, I hardly ever bait in serious /k

the other /k though ...

I hear you. I tried pushing the envelop a tad with my tongue in cheek comment about certain segments of /k users being divorced from reality... and promptly got it reported by likely the exact same wretched hive (in Sir Alec's own words) of "scum and villainy".... ah well.

its not easy like changing cars.

No, you are absolutely right. There are feelings and emotions to consider, in addition to more practical and pragmatic financial, living and logistical considerations. More so if kids are somehow dragged into the equation.

It is not simple.

a friend told me once

a man choose not to get married not because they dont want the responsibility,

they choose not to because they are scared of divorce

ayam no divorcee, ayam just a guy that people come asking for opinion

thank you. i am very well now. i see this as a fresh start for a more positive environment.

hi there, i have been following your posting recently. Hope you are fine

I know the feeling being sole breadwinner in the family. Hence, i don't usually calculative on this part as long as the guy have job and contribute financially, im ok. doesn't matter who pay more who pay less. be reasonable and allocate some for savings. the rest is up to u what to buy no permission needed.

As we both are working and contribute financially together, same goes to house chores, we do it together also. example i vacuum you mop, you cook i do the washing. you throw the trash i put dustbin bag etc. that's how we share. after all that done, we Netflix together. never start the tv if either one of us not done yet.

Effort to commit and responsibility in a relationship is very important and this cant be bought by money. Yes, with money u can hire maid etc.
But for me, this kind of relationship are risky cos the foundation are lining with money not efforts and hard work.

Everyone can have money but not everyone can have the efforts and hard work.
just my dua cents.

Marriage is a gamble in life. No one will know the final outcome. Just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. and it's a hard work to make it work till the end.

I’m not defending our circumstances but I thought I’d highlight a tiny variation to what you so eloquently stated:

Sometimes, when correctly applied, money can be used to enhance relationship and not nearly be the shaky foundation upon which one is built.

We have a helper for the two of us. Her primary duties are to cook, to clean and to wash up whenever we don’t feel like using the dishwasher and to take care of the general household chores.

She goes with us when we head over to Australia and she helps us out with our house over there.

This frees up time for both of us to enjoy each other’s company. Wife and I don’t have to worry about who does what we just grab the car keys and go for a long drive. And we come back, dinner will be ready, and we don’t have to worry about who cooks what or what to take away from where.

Ultimately, it is not just whether it’s money or not, but how you use what you have at your disposal for the betterment of your relationship.

This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 9 2024, 03:24 PM