hhahaha be careful with this, especially

if the apartments is under your name..if one day she boikot about doing it, you will have trouble find tenant..


if the apartments is under her name..if one day things dont work out say bye bye to your assets

Fuh 30k

I dont work and my wife give me money

Just give 5k and when you’re home no need be so tired need another round of fighting

Depending if the wealth TS earn or the assets TS bought are before the marriage or during. If before, they don't have to be split 50 50. Alimony is only if TS cheats right?

Hey there!


The gap between your and your wife's income is too big. From her point of view, it's understandable where she is coming from.

I really hate when women point at other couple and highlight what they do and you should follow that too. They do it, so we have to do it too!

Anyways, this phenomenon is everywhere in the society, relationship, workplace - literally everywhere. Take a look at the following examples:

Oh, you did not get promotion this year despite you worked outstandingly and praised by your manager?
People will tell you It's okay because Katy, Naru, Azmin, James did not get either.

Oh, your almost brand new Honda broke down?
They will tell you It's okay because when me, my friend, his friend, her friend had the same brand car, we all struggled.

Oh, you're a fresh grad and unable to get a job that pays decent and you only make 1.5k ?
People will explode and tell you It's okay because younger strawberry generation, my friend's friend's friend's son is in the same boat, his friends too.

Do you see the pattern here?

When my gf of 5+ years highlights what other boyfriends in her circle of friends do, i just simply use the same tactic and point out how (on purpose) her hot looking and better set off girlfriends do in life. Guess what, she doesn't like being told and compared.

You are not. And what you are doing is the right thing to do. But see my first point. There is a gap, and there must be a reason why your wife feels that you should give her pocket money. Ignore the bullsh*t that other coworkers do the same.
Dig deep and understand why she needs it.

In my opinion, everything is a trade-off with a women. You can afford to give some money to her, you make more than decent, but the question is, what are you getting in return?

Because TS, do not give without condition. That NEVER ends well. Do not become the "nice guy" without she justifying and returning the same to you.

Just by reading the stories of people and based on my personal experience, being the nice guy will make you burn your hands.

Be nice, but not TOO nice.

Edit:
Another thing, I believe in data. Make an excel sheet and itemize how much you contribute to the household, and sit down with her to do the same. It will clearly show who puts more effort.

If you spend and save 80% of your salary on the household, bills and savings, that will leave you with 6k a month.
If she doesn't contribute, where does the 5k go?
Suddenly you are comparing 6k to 5k.

This post has been edited by TomYummy: Jun 12 2021, 03:37 PM

I think it kind of goes both way.

Give "A" sum and see if you get whats worth - not right to me because giving something and expecting a return, more so in a marriage is no no.

See whats worth and give accordingly - Problem also.
She say u r not giving her what she deserve
U say u r giving more than what she deserve.
LOL

happen to me once, but TS make much more than me.
I spend mostly for the household expenses, she reluctant to spend extra.
I did exploded before, jot down all my expenses and her uxpenses, and she only spend 10% or less of total whole family expenses.
This happen, when we are overly generous all the time, pay all the bills for whatever occasion, and she already get used to this kind of situation.
After that, I told her that she can buy/spend on whatever she want with her own money. She also can request from me, but I will not pay for everything anymore.
If you happen to restart any business/career, try not to expose your real income, seriously
If you are making 30k, then say 20k only.
Your wife logic is somehow a common women logic, her money is belong to her only, but your money is her money as well.

This post has been edited by forrest: Jun 12 2021, 03:39 PM

Yeah, its depend on a few things including the judge, which is all female in kl and selangor atm.

Child support leh ... kid under 7 till age 18 ?

theres no need to give allowance when both is working. whats more, she doesnt contribute to the household. if she needs more than 5k spending solely on herself every month. sth if very wrong. you can always buy gifts, but dont commit to monthly allowance.

Here is a suggestion to help de-escalate the situation at the same time secure some funds for her future use.

Give her RM6k per month:
3k into her bank account
3k into her EPF topup.

https://www.kwsp.gov.my/ms/member/contribut...gs-contribution

This post has been edited by Capt. Marble: Jun 12 2021, 03:38 PM

Bini aku keje gomen.

Aku bg dia xxxx je.

Sbb dia cuma bayar bil api dan nursery anak aku.

Tp bini aku ok ja sbb dia xdak hutang.

Btw, kau boleh bg 5k tp kau kena expect makanan terhidang, baju dah cuci, rumah dah kemas, anak anak dia jaga dll. I think kau kena cakap up front kat dia benda ni, kalau dia piss off i think worth to communicate and discuss.

Gaji aku not 30k so, aku yg cuci rumah and jaga anak most of the time. But if i am capable i would give to her plus she is ur wife, and expect her to buy all toys for kids fyi.

She has a job. According to TS, he's the one contributing to everything.

Are you now suggesting he should also give 6k spilt to bank/epf for "de-escalation" reasons?

Nice way to put more oil on the fire.

the formula is easy bro..happy wife=happy life..if ur wife not happy then ur life miserable lo

I don't like to get into people's marriages. Like the famous chinese saying la. So no advise, just observation and assumption on what TS wrote only.

He is resentful of the wife due to he doing everything but the wife did not and yet demand more money. It's not so much the 5k, I'm sure he can afford to give. The wife does not show appreciation for the burden he is carrying.

It does not seem the marriage is a partnership anymore and there is no trust.

U can tell her u got demoted and salary cut to only 10k.

And also show her your edited salary slip.

Also if she can access your bank account where the salary is deposited into, open a new one and only deposit the 10k into the old account.

From then on u can give her 2k pocket money monthly and tell her also you and her need to jimat since your salary is now less.


Be smart a bit la.

" I am paying for the house loan, the utilities & groceries (milk & diaper for my baby) "

This more than enough already. Not all married man can do like u

Amen, very well said.

My close friend did the same. He had a job with 24k salary, and in a short span, up-skilling and luck he got a new job for 32k.

He did not even tell his wife, she has no idea, she still thinks he works at the old job and has no idea about the 32k income either.

He said if he tells her, new level of expectations will come.

Can 30k, manage all the difficult personalities at work.

But cannot manage the personality at home.

Not sure about fidelity. I really didn't mind the housechores and cooking. She was bad at both anyway.

Yea...my bad. She was damn hot!

That said, i am not without fault myself. Maybe i could have been a better husband. Wooo her off her feet to get her in the mood. But, tbh, it would be kind of hard to make the effort when the other side was always full of excuses; too tired, headaches, sleepy... Plus, I didn't have 30k/m.

She did make an effort a year prior to asking for divorce. She initiated the sex. But, by then, I was somewhat surprisingly disgusted by it. I knew she wanted to repair the broken marriage then. She was sending a signal that after more than a decade of excuses, she was ready and willing for sex without me asking for it. But, i was damn sure that there was an unmentioned catch too. Plus, the best years had passed. It was like...all the best parts have been eaten, and I was served the leftovers, and for that, I still have to appreciate the effort of the chef, and pay the bill.

Anyway, back on topic...

For TS, I would still say that with you earning 30k, she really shouldn't have to ask. TS should have been giving her some monthly allowance. It should have been from the start of the marriage, but, not to the amount of 5k.

I feel that you have failed that part way early on.

But, IF the zilch sex part came and only then you witheld giving her allowance...then, truly, sincerely...get a divorce fast.

too late buddy. you've already spoiled her. not to talk about money, but after work you still have to cook wash plates and do laundry?! dam thats too over.

for me i do cook but my wife is automatic enough to know that if i cook. she'll do the dishes and vice versa, basic mutual understanding which i hope you'll be able to to discuss.

i dont bring home as much as you but my wife does ask for a sub-card which i gave her willingly as i know what she buys will be for our newborn or for household usage.

other than that, similarly i pay for everything at home, the car loans, the house and i do the dinner as well. but most important is that she acknowlege im doing all these which aint easy.