Heh, my wife would disagree with you. In fact, I had to talk her into having a wedding dinner together with my mother-in-law. My own parents don't care much about the formalities. They're the very Western-educated type. My wife's parents are mostly okay too, but still feel like it was necessary to put on a show for the other relatives on my wife's side of the family. Personally, I don't care much for the tradition or being put on display but I was willing to put up with it for one night. Even so, neither of us put any effort into it whatsoever because we just couldn't be bothered. No speeches, no fancy music, no wedding car and decorations, no alcohol and toastings. We wanted to greet everyone, let them eat and send them on their way as soon as possible. I am proud to say that we were very poor hosts and it was a very, very bad wedding dinner.

Even to this day, 3 years later, my wife sometimes expresses regret that I managed to talk her into agreeing to have a wedding dinner at all. She thinks that it's a vain, meaningless and unenjoyable event held just to please others and not the two of us. She thinks that we should just have spent the money on increasing our honeymoon budget instead. Hehe. In general, both of us are not very sociable people and we hate doing things just for the sake of satisfying social conventions and showing off. We felt that it was much more meaningful to do different things for different sets of relatives and acquaintances together. For example, having lunch with our old school mates around a table, taking some of the younger members of the family to a karaoke etc.

This is also why the two of us get along very well.

Just a post to show that not all girls are like that, or enjoy the same things or think the same way and that it is not necessary to do things just because it is "expected" or "customary".

Is that your problem if some couples have a roti canai reception or even just sign a marriage of certificiate and have no wedding receptions whatsoever?

Ehh... what about the number of times TS slept with the future wife?
The girl already lose some value by being with him over the years.

What is 12K? Some more want to complaint here.

This post has been edited by barista: May 12 2009, 03:01 PM

Girls is just meat, I support your view.

I'd have to agree with you on this though, cos iirc from the previous thread, TS salary is around RM3K+. With that kinda budget, its probably possible to save up in a year, unless TS got lots of overheads. Best thing would be to compromise I guess, perhaps discuss with your fiance to have a smaller reception for close family?

Ya.. so i wonder sometimes, those fixed salary earning in every month hardly can save penny... unless guys are from soso background.. i mean doesn't really need to be as rich as YTL or Uncle lim family.. Personally , my friends they don't work with those big company or what, they rather work for themselve... but when the $$$ is sufficient , timing is right, I think marry that time also ok...

You are equating love and marriage to the number of times he has humped his fiancee.

To me, that reads like prostitution.

What lunacy....

+1

Guy A: "Don't worry darling, we'll have the wedding of your dreams. I've been saving up especially for this."
Girl A: "I love you, my sweet honeybunny "

Guy B: "Uh, darling, this wedding is turning out to be more expensive than I'd thought... would you consider chipping in a bit? After all, it's our weddi--
Girl B: "What?? Cannot afford?? What kind of husband are you? Man are supposed to pay for the wedding, how can you ask woman to pay?? All my life I dream of the perfect wedding, and now you want to ruin it?? I don't care you beg, borrow or steal, you PAY FOR EVERYTHING!!!!11"

You do not want to marry Girl B. And ladies, you do not want to be Girl B.

Because TS is being calculative first.
If you love your girl, you will give her the best and don't complaint.

Ah yes, fall back to physcological studies, biological, culture, tradition or whatever to justify spending beyond one's means on a single event.

It makes as much sense as saying men should sow their seeds with as many fertile women as possible because it's hard-coded in their DNA.

Ever heard of personal choice?

Girls, if you love your guy, you'll give him the best and don't complain.

Now spread your legs and enjoy the humping please.

What does that have to do with how many times he humped (or not) his fiancee?

You are off your rocker!

NO MONEY....

NO MARRIAGE

NO LOVE

Only left is sadness,pity,sorrow!

It's just a figure of speech duh.
A girl who had devoted herself to you deserves more.

If TS tells us he is a guy who always buy her stuff, treat her to nice dinner, holidays... a reasonable girl will not mind him spending less on or chip in for a wedding.

Sometimes a girl can only be a princess once in her lifetime you know? Naturally she looks forward to it.

This post has been edited by barista: May 12 2009, 03:18 PM

A 12k wedding pau dowry, pau reception, pau photoshoot for a man with 3k salary. I think the girl is not asking for too much, I consider her a very super understanding girl.

Does your wife have any single and available sisters?

It's been my experience that Malaysians tend to present their opinions with the justification that "people are like that", "men/women are like that", "that's the norm in society", etc. That says a lot about their mentality. Not only are they conformists, they're shirking personal responsibility for their own views.

If you're a money-minded person who thinks money is more important than love, admit that you're a money-minded person who thinks money is more important than love. That's your opinion, your point of view, your outlook on life. Don't try to say "everyone is like that", as if this "everyone" is some dialectic shield that protects you from people challenging your views. If people challenge your views, defend them - and if you can't defend them, you might just have to reconsider them.

This post has been edited by n00b13: May 12 2009, 03:24 PM

ops. bernard i think u also save alot jor right.. been single for some times time to get marry jor. i knew u got a lot of bullets...

The point here is affordability and the woman's compromise on that matter if he or both of them cannot afford the extravagance.

Love and marriage is not racked up by how many dinner or holidays he or she buy for each other. Such shallowness have no place in a good marriage and it's perfectly obvious you do not know what one is.

Then go vietnam and have the wedding dinner there, if you want to say cheapest, africa is cheapest. RM200-300 per month live as a king, why don't you marry a black girl and live in africa, if you like to talk like that, then walk the talk, don't be NATO= No Action Talk Only, the fact the girl is Malaysian then act like the prices is Malaysian also!!

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Added on May 12, 2009, 3:26 pmNot to mention if you bring back the girl to Malaysia, the living expenses is back in Malaysia and it's square one, can't afford to pay for wedding, you surely cannot afford to maintain her.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 3:29 pmare you male or female?? Your nick says female but female won't talk like that!!

This post has been edited by monashguy: May 12 2009, 03:29 PM

The "norm in society" stance is only trumpeted by these so-called conformists when it is to their advantage.

One could state that it is a "norm" for wealthy men to have mistresses and one will hear a huge earful from these very same conformists.