You're harsh, it is women's right to be a bloodsucking leeches you know. After all girls leak blood every month and it's painful.

Crude joke but I can give a chuckle to it.

To me, they are playing the classic game of self-perceived victimization akin to how some UMNOputras claim their ketuanan rights solely of their skin colour.

Both of them blame others for their imaginary "plight" and demand for special rights and privileges to correct it.

IMHO, i don't see what's the problem sharing the wedding expenses, since it's both parties event, but of course if the guy willing to and have the capability to settle it then would be good. I'd say MARRIAGE is rather more important than WEDDING. If one party not willing to compromise and sacrifies, how can a marriage last long even if you have a super grand wedding...

Just my 2 cents.

What I know about women is that while they all plan to get married one day, they constantly think about their dream wedding. Yes it may only be a symbolic gesture of holy matrimony but it matters. Unlike men, women start planning their weddings early on in life. Yes marriage is more important but that doesn't make the wedding itself any less important if that makes sense. It may not make sense to most men but heck, it does to women and we have to respect that.

I doubt any woman would disagree with me.

yup...I've been trying to tell these guys, look like you really understand womans tots....

I will add 5 cents here, first 12k for wedding is not expensive, I don't understand people here, why married when you cannot afford it, I am a guy and I actually support girls looking for husbands who can support them, sure wife must understanding and all sorts, but based on research, women likes security and the fact is that RM12k is not a lot for wedding so the wife/gf is not willing to chip in is understandable, do you ever think from women's point of view. Research or studies have shown that women actually have planned their wedding since they are 5 years old. They have been thinking and thinking and planning up to the time of adulthood. You said couple give and take?? This a a fair way, man pays all, children follows guy's family name, if wife pays some, would you also give and take and some children follow the wife name and also your name follow the wife name?? Everything has it's price, women follow husbands name, children follow husband name and wife has to give birth and look after the children, the least a man can do is pay for the wedding!! I always tell people this, if you cannot afford to marry then don't do it, wait till financial ok, it is downright selfish. I am not a hyprocrite, my financial is not at the right way yet so I don't get married and have gf. Marriages do go down in unhappyness due to financial and that is a fact.

Did you just come up with that preposterous stance that a man paying for a wedding is an exchange for his children taking after his family name?

What a joke!

I didn't say that, but I said man cannot have it everything his way, man wants wife to follow his name and everything else but when comes to money man pay nothing or wants to share. You can't have it both ways, it's a man's responsibility to pay for his wedding.

respectable guy

+ 10 for u... this is what i've the same thoughts as u..

You are missing the gist of the debate in this thread.

If a man can well afford to pay for a wedding's expenses by himself and he is okay with that, very good. The point of contention is when a woman insists on her husband providing well and above what he can afford for a wedding and insists it is her right to do so just because she is of female gender. Heck, some forummer here was even promoting bank loans to fund for wedding extravagance solely to please some manipulative woman!

No one's insisting that everything has to be his or her way.

12k not alot? 12k go cheong in Thailand you can be a king! Hell, it's even enough to buy a Vietnamese bride!

I'd say cut your cloth according to your coat. If you find it technically feasible to save up enough for the wedding costs involved, then I think by all means, you should spend on such an important occasion with an open heart. However, if you truly are hardpressed, to the extent that you might have to borrow money to satisfy your fiancee's wishes, & she does not care about that, then yes.....you do have a point.

In my honest opinion, 12K really isn't all that much considering the magnitude of the occasion. It isn't as though you get married every year.

Wah... Grey, he is just giving his point of views only... but frankly rm12k is nothing now in malaysia if u wish to have a grand wedding.

Studies have also shown that the male mammalian species such as human beings like to procerate with as many fertile females as they can and spread their genes.

Do you really believe all these crap?

All TS ask for is his bride to be is some understanding, is that too much to ask? We can all dispute whether the cost of wedding is high or not but that's relative. The fact is that he might not be able to afford it while his gf is unwilling to share the burden is the point.

I think in his gfs opinion, 12k is not really a big grand wedding, 12k inc of photo, dowry and reception all in wor, I would say is a very economical wedding lor. His gf is sad that TS took no initiative to even save 12k.

And some of the smartalec here (not you) maybe really expect a roti canai and teh tarik reception

Who doesn't want to be grand in everything? The question is at what cost.

Support Darwinist, marriage is unnatural. Guys should have the right to procreate with any women they want.

Are you disputing the fact that women would have thought out their weddings from an early age? Ok so 5 may be a stretch but at least when they are old enough to understand the concept of being in a relationship. While I do not have studies to back up this claim I can safely say that if one were to conduct a test and ask 10 women, 9 out of the 10 would say they did.

The point is that while most men view weddings as mere a symbolic gesture and something they have to do to appease the family, women see it as a physical manisfestation of marriage. Men are known to forget birthdays, anniversaries and such but do most women? Like it or not we are different by design.

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Added on May 12, 2009, 2:58 pmWhile I can try to empathise I've also been around long enough to know that there is always two sides to a coin. For all we know, his wife had spoken to him about marriage a long time back but he did nothing to prepare himself for it, financially or otherwise.

This post has been edited by Duke Red: May 12 2009, 02:58 PM