How.long were u dating? And how/where u met your husband?

Hi TS, I went through all your posts in this thread so far (didn't bother reading others' replies yet.. saw a few trolls d lazy to process everything). Looks like you're kinda contradicting yourself a bit, but not necessarily a bad thing -- on that, I'll focus on being open minded.

You said you don't want dating app, that's not a problem but... You seem open to chat with guys in this forum - so are you open to dating app or not? In a way, LYN itself is a platform to get to know people online and eventually meet IRL - that is enough to say, it's kind of a dating app. The good thing about LYN is, you can learn more about someone based on their past threads and posts, and I'll just warn you now: this forum has a lot of fake or crazy personas and even in this thread, I recognise some ady. I don't wanna say names so you'll just have to judge for yourself.

If you have certain doubts against dating app, perhaps you can head to the pinned thread to read about general tips on what to look out for. If lazy to read through then can filter by my posts. I was skeptical of dating apps back then, but desperation/desire/loneliness grew with age so I tried
Took me about 2-3 years on and off apps, until I found someone 2+ years ago. While it's not all roses and flowers, we're working it out slowly. There are also a lot others who met their current spouses from an online platform so as long as you play by the books to protect yourself, you should be fine.

Furthermore about your preferences and constraints... First of all, let's not deceive ourselves: men generally like bokbokchui younger women). While it's true you shouldn't be as picky, it doesn't mean you should just accept anyone. Really, if you've lived happily so far as a single, why ruin your happiness by getting together with an asshole or loser just for the sake of pairing up, right? So it's good to know your standards, but sometimes you need to go out and fail to realise some of that.

For example, I used to think "looks doesn't matter, as long as the guy is nice." Then I matched with a guy with really bad quality photo and he didn't look good there. We chatted quite well and met up. Guess what, my first impression when I met him was, "oh damn, he looks worse than in the photos". It was around pandemic so we were masked, so guess what when we say down and took off our masks? HOLY SHIT HIS TEETH. He had good career, got condo, got honda, never dated before, a doting uncle to his niece (so much so, he interrupted the meeting 15mins or so, just talking to the niece). In the end I called it off because I didn't like the flow of conversation, and ultimately, I couldn't accept someone who doesn't have the social awareness to groom himself better (oh yes, he has no friends - I also did not like that). He was a nice person even until the end, he took the rejection rather well, no one has to block anyone and we just moved on.

...So for you, take the time and effort to just go out and try meeting more types of people. Of course you can set your own boundaries, e.g. gambler and smoker is a deal-breaker to me. Divorcee with kid... It was a deal-breaker to me in my late 20s, but let's just say I'm happy I don't have to rethink that yet
Just remember that every hard constraint you add narrows down your chances of meeting someone, and only you will know whether that is for the better or worse. Lastly, it's a long game and you'll get frustrated every now and then. It is a chore to get to know someone from scratch often, so give yourself time and space to reflect and recharge. The aim with every encounter is to know yourself better to be better for the next one.

that's my thought too, I was not Lin Chi Ling who could give brith at her 47 years old.

finally I'm going to move out from Kampung this year, hopefully there are still some single guys are around my age or elder than me who are still single like me and looking for partners. after staying in a city, gonna join as many as possible actives, basically make myself visible to crowd and enjoy the life.

that's nice for both of you, how did you two know each others?

I open to chat here but not yet thru dating app, as I had bad experience from dating app.
Look does matter a lot to guys, if you are not good looking bokbokchui also no one wants to chase after those. That's what I could see from reality, I agree bokbokchui plus good looking then those ladies have high expectation like young, handsome and rich. not those old and average guys, my target are average guys around my age or elder than me till age of 50.

Maybe I can try again dating app if there are good apps to introduce to me, what apps do you know ?

I am a bit confused, always thought you were a dude from the language of your posts.

you're a woman or are you ghey??

What was your bad experience there?

Personally I've stopped using ever since I committed to my current relationship, but before that I used two apps: FB dating and CMB (go do homework a bit, read the pinned thread ya).

CMB generally had higher quality profiles but the time limit didn't work for me as I'm slow to warm up, I didn't want to share my private info early on.

FB dating was very easy to set up, so you can hop onto it very easily but on the flip side, you end up with a lot of low quality profiles. If anything, I liked the feature where I can choose to match up with a person with mutual friends. For example, when I saw my then-stranger-now-bf profile on app, there was a mutual friend so I got interested.. I mean, hey the mutual friend was my first crush back in high school so I couldn't help it ok but anyway we hit it off with Japan travel talks so here we are, going there soon this year
Just be warned, as much as I want to give FB dating the credits, I also felt frustrated sometimes as I had to filter a lot of them because there were a lot of fake/scammer profiles. Also, my friend who also tried it after I recommended, she met a person who was my schoolmate (so I was the mutual friend), but they weren't compatible after all... So my story might just be a fluke.

Btw, it's technically against forum rules to spam consecutive posts in a short time, so please use the quote function (tap/click on Quote buttons for all the posts you want to reply to > more options / add reply)
Ehh... well I'm not really hiding anything with that pink tag yknow anyhow I'm also comfortable to be a bro/dude/ghey on the internet.

What is bokbokchui?

CMB change their protocol recently. Even if you like the person and person have never seen your profile, the other person won't be able to see you even after few days . Last time you needed to wait 24H then it will be reveal. Then the like will disappear and other person won't even get to see you.

However if the other person saw your profile on those profile that they show you and like you then yes it's match.

Those restrictions are apparently removed for paying customer.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Feb 6 2024, 07:28 AM

got 1 colleague married at 30s, found her mate on car group (just normal car-brand-model, not racing/modified).

Apologies if I sounded rude or intrusive and i surf using my phone on mobile view. so can't see the tag.

wish you congrats on your current committed relationship

We dated for 2 years before tied the knot on our 3rd year and we met each other on tinder

This post has been edited by quireyuyue: Feb 6 2024, 10:53 AM

We met each other on tinder

I actually used TanTan last year and I met an expatriate from Australia, he was in his mid 40s, we chatted a while then he asked me out so I met him in person.
This guy was quite straight forward on his purpose, after long talk, he started to tell me he could support my financial and I didn't need to work, just follow him to everywhere when he relocated to other country that time he was gonna leave Malaysia and moved to Singapore, he said if I got pregnant, we would stay in his country if I wanted, he some more asked me to follow him back to his country, he could be my tour guide. I was like what? I was looking for a partner in dating app, he really freaked me off... that's my bad experience.

This post has been edited by moon88: Feb 6 2024, 11:34 AM

Well, everyone will find their other half at different stage of life. or some might be single for life.
Now, I'm in my early 40's and still single. Meeting people around as to increase the circle of friends.

Good to hear a success story of app dating.

mid 40s, use money to buy you
what else a beta male simp can do much?

Ah.......i got a friend who have similar requirement. The difference is he was a local guy with a very successful background looking for a serious gf with marriage in mind. He gave my friend the criteria he wanted in a gf

And I'm not the only 1. There's plenty out there. Just depends on luck and fate

I guess it can get pretty traumatising if first few tries ady met a weirdo... Reflecting back, were there red flags you shrugged off during the chatting period? Intuition is very helpful to ward off potential bad apples; it's basically your subconscious telling you that someone/something is good/bad by reading subtle cues like body language, things that your conscious self did not pick on. Our brain is really quite brilliant in that, so give more credits to your unknown self.

I'm not even 30 yet, but I think I would marry someone your age if im still single around late 30s or reaching 40 soon
if you're average or above average looking one, at that age, still looking good then why not?
looks are subjective, some people doesn't really look at looks as long as the person looks acceptable to them. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder right?
I've recently met a girl through cmb, went out with her once, she told me as long as she can accept the looks of the guy, then why not? after all cannot be someone below her 'standards' cuz its a face you have to see pretty often and also to kiss.. lol. It make sense anyway, if you find someone ugly, would you even wanna kiss that person?

guys at late 30s to early 40s would probably be hanging out at a bar or some place more mature no?
like what other have said here, you can try to be more proactive, wear clothes that would put you out there getting attentions. since you don't drink, then try joining more activities online.
everyone starts off somewhere.. just be more proactive and willing to start or initiate a chat

honestly chatting here or through dating app - is like no difference to me?
everyone is just hiding behind words. You only get to know someone's true self when you meet face to face. Whether their actions are true to what they've said. some ppl are all talk and no action.
just start slow. get some matches, initiate a few chats, chat for a few days to feel them out, then come out and meet up at some place public. Have a meal, some decent long chat. If feel like they are good then continue to meet a few more times. no good then thank you bye bye..
There are still plenty of good guys out there de..
slowly find.. but first, come out from kampung. you are already being hindered by your location.

just wondering, what if the guy is a divorcee with no kids? would you date and marry someone like that?

attend seminar or computer class physically.

there u will get some.

Nope. I stepped into my late 30s n i still seldom go to bars. I would say joining activities would be a good start.
I spend most of my time between exercising, work, and travels.
How do I meet people? from work or from exercising and also dating apps although I've only a hand full of ppl from apps.