is it better to marry or stay single?

marriage is a lifetime commitment to another person, and another family.

We have not explored the different possibilities to be offered by the world. ppl with different characters, different career opportunities, etc.

If you are a person longing for freedom and flexibility, would you still get married with the person who you have been together for many years (more than 5 years)?

Stay happy salad.

if you dont have anyone you love sexually
then just stay single then

Marriage is a life partner contract. If unable to follow or maintain, better don't commit.

If you are looking for the bolded part above, better don't get married yet. It will make you bitter and make married life difficult for you and your partner.
Take a break from your current relationship and explore yourself. But do take note that age will catch up to you and the person who you are with now may not be there for you when you decide to come back and try again.
Life is full of trade-offs. There are no perfect outcomes. Just be happy with whatever choices you make.

Get married. You need some long term companionship.

If not buy a dog and die alone.

So better get married.....

so many divorce cases nowadays.
how sure are you that this long term companionship can make your life happy.
there is no such thing as one is better than the other. both has it's merits but I think being single has a slighter advantage.

just look at your friend thats been maried....
do u like thier life?
Q like this is subjective

but to stay single till the end will be dificult nearing end part....

This post has been edited by poco loco: Jul 27 2023, 03:14 PM


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I heard from an elder

She says marriage is like investing

There is risk. You must understand what is marriage first before you "invest" into marriage.

get a VR wife

since this is serious /k

i try to give u serious answer

this really driven to your own preferences and also financial

if you already 40+ ; no plan to have kids ; just stay single and YOLO [you can have gf if u found out someone that also dont want kahwin]
>if you already in this scenario then baru have kid and start to commit everything ..u need to expect to work all the way until 65 (atleast till kid uni graduate)

i seen few uncle that 50+ but single (never kahwin) ; just YOLO je

if takut mati just go beli nirvana package ..atleast someone help u pack nicely

This post has been edited by fantasy1989: Jul 27 2023, 03:23 PM

Got short cut ma.

if you want to ask , stay single.

do you want kids?

if yrs, get married

if no, unless you found your childhood sweetheart or soul mate, the better don't get married

If you don't have face problem or finance problem, get married.

Staying single is only for people with face problem and finance not stable.. like me.

i know....but something u dont know is,by that time u cant even move your finger nor walk....i have seen it..

and dont think your children will tolerate with it too.....just keep it in the back of your mind... i also has seen it

Ppl mindset change overtime.

You may think that being single is good enough for now, but when you grow older and your mindset will be the opposite.

At that time you are too ego to admit that you prefer married life and say things like 'I prefer freedom and being single. It is so much fun' but deep down inside your heart you actually want someone to accompany you. Someone that can share with you your happiness, your ups and downs and even take care of you when you are old and sick.

Like someone said, marriage is an investmest with risk

if oofff mati terus is still ok

but what if u got some illness that drag you years and need a lot of care, attention and support?

Getting married is way better than dying alone.

To your question, how sure are you that getting married wont enrich your life as well.

We are social creatures. We are not designed to live alone. At the end years, 60's 70's, how many of your yumcha buddies will be around or lepak with you. Most of the time you'll be alone.

Anyway, being with someone, making your other half happy, has its own fulfillment.

It depends on whether u are male or female, age, financial position etc..

Guys doesn't matter because as long got money, no problem.. Still can become father at 40, 50+

Yes, the world is unfair

Stay single is better.

What if the partner or spouse die before the person ? back to square one. no difference.

come lowyat chat here. wont bored

if got 100mil then got choice to get married and can have kids.. or stay single...

if below 500k net worth , can marry but dun membiak membebankan rakyat jelata dan gomen madani...

not fair for kids as well...

if a poll is done, staying single will still get the higher number of votes.

If you have to ask this question, means you are not ready for married life so stay single.
When you are ready, you will know.

u can always not married
or try the same type of partner

sendiri find truck-kun

I second this...
Just enjoy ur single life

the best place to feel loneliness is old folks home n palliative care in hospitals....go talk to the patients there....some r single for life.... n ask them how they feel about being single....

apparently you asked this because of pressure to married. people are just too focus to live in other's expectation.

That is a possibility 50-50

But if you are single? it is 100%

I am amazed by those who wish how and when they will die. I mean come on, how do you even control that? Unless you take you own life which of course is not a very good thing to do.

As a Buddhist, my opinion is:
Get married, unless you want to be a monk.

poco loco gives you a good reason why it is good to get married...

that is commit suicide which is out equation no matter you are married or not

Since this is serious kopitiam, what is the reason you're asking this? Hypothetical or based on your experience?

Marriage is never the goal in this modern era unlike the olden days. The goal is to be in love and stay in love. Marriage is a by product of that.

So are you in love or not?

This post has been edited by cucumber: Jul 27 2023, 04:31 PM

oh ya forget to mention...
i am a free thinker

even after merid and got kids your ending is not guarantee a good 1 though

This post has been edited by poco loco: Jul 27 2023, 04:33 PM

If you are getting married for sex - you are in for a big disappointment.

ya this i agree....
i sleep with my EX partner for 3 years also.......sometimes rather fap to porn better

my circle of ppl, more to unhepiness from my point of view....
so i kepohchi ask them.....turn out is something that rhyme like,,tradition la,felt completed la,done thier part oh humanity la...etc


after i step back and see...its the parent own selfishness jer

so i decided to do my part

marry rich... else no point...

haha

I un that.

stay single is lonely and bad for health

In hindsight i would have chosen to stay single

Desth is uncertain especially incresse heart attack due to covid vax. Best thing i could have done is be single and take care of my parent and fool around with diff girls anytime i want

Why do u assume people that decided to be single they will die alone?

I have 1 late uncle that never married and stay single for the rest of this life. When he almost passed away, my family and other relatives are together watching him passef away

don't need to be even 60-70s, once out of uni masuk work/get married, yumcha buddies all almost gone already, each have their own life

But what if both old & sick, then who take care?

What you think?

Seems they got married due to other ppl's wishes. Not by own choice. Obviously set up for failure.

just dont get married for the sake of it, if you find some1 suitable then yea go ahead

My advise is please take your time if you plan to get married.

Ensure both families are introduced and welcoming of each other. For some they may feel this is not important as getting married is to start their own life but trust me, it will matter. Support and understanding from both families should be made one of the top priority.

Make sure your partner is the ONE. Some say both of you should be best friends as to go through marriage life is going to be tough. Need a lot of compromise and tolerance.

If there is a positive environment surrounding your marriage most likely everything will be fine.

try to live the single bohemian free life until you are 50.

then tell me u enjoy or not?

I see so many single guys reached 50 but don't seem to have direction in life. They want to go travel round the world but nobody to go with. They asked other guys, but other single guys think eh so ghey one, don't want to join. They asked other girls, girls think I don't want to join 50 yo uncle. Some more those 50 yo uncle, maybe got money but they also have preference for younger gals, when they look at 50 yo auntie, they say don't want lah, no quality.

I also see some 50 yo guys buy a lot of man toys like mercedes, most expensive mountain bikes, superbikes, gundam toys, but in the end just play with it themselves.

In the end what is the point eh?

Got all the moneh, got all the time but don't know where to spend it.

Got some even very filial, spend a lot of times with their parents, take them out for makan, take them overseas, hire maid for them. That is good. But some of my single friends at that age, feeling depress because they see death all around them, they take care of their dementia parents, don't see life around them.

Then everyday in office, people look down on single guys. Some people even dread working for single unmarried dragon lady in their 50s. True story, i heard got one bitch unmarried lady like to punish her staff if they get pregnant, put them into dead end jobs.

Some options:

Marry and have kids
Marry and have no kids
Don't marry and maintain couples
Stay single and become playboy/girl.

I would say "To each their own". Everyone has their opinion on whether a person should stay single or be married. And most of the time they will think that the option that they choose for themselves is the best one.

Whatever decision you make, just make it because you want to, and not because of what other people think.

No need ba nirvana package, take the money enjoy. When die, let the ngo or charity manage and burn ur body free hghhhhhhh.

hnnggghhhhh

Please open poll to let us vote

single ppl may wanna get married or vice versa

wagie marry or not marry amoi/awek ?

Married with kids, always have excuse not to work extra hours. Need to bring kids to _____(fill up yourself)

Living with someone you cannot leave will make you more mature, more mellow, in my observation. I have school mates not married, age 40 still childish.

If you got money, lots of money then both life is not a problem.
Single with money you can employ someone to take care of you and pay for good medical care to stay healthy for longer.
Married but to money if you are healthy you have to take care of your wife. If your wife is healthier then you have to see her suffering to take care of you, but it won't happen if you got money.

I think I can save more money being single.

Last time got arranged marriage. No need to think of this question.
Tiba masa, marriage, settle.
Freedom to choose makes people think too much.

date amoi awek enough. no need marry no need stress

If financial is good, then proceed For marriage la. Have kids.

I love my waifu and kids. They love me too. Every time go To work i miss them. Come back from work See their faces is all i want. I am blessed.

I hope you find your love too.

You, sir, are much blessed. Happy for you

Only can date 1- 5 years haha. After that awek amoi force marry.

More like dream marriage by those western blokes ruin the party. For the asians, Marriage is a kind of announcement, fund gathering banquet for the friends and family invited to give support for the couple to own their first house etc to start a family, but today, its to LCLY makbapak lu I got tiara la, pearls la, gold bangle la, but hutang berlambaks credited thanks to big 1000 people banquet.

I don't get ut, why such disencouragement from fellow married forummer

It is a personal preference to get marry or not.
Don't listen to him, ts.

No need to go that far as 50yo. some people already experience that at 30yo.

actually, single people don't even have a choice (stay single or married). you can't choose when nothing is served.

This post has been edited by Skylinestar: Aug 2 2023, 07:25 PM

Do single people feel lonely because they are single? or is it because they see their friends getting married, having kids, moving on with life...doing things normal people do?

Approaching 30 and the feel is getting real.

That means you are working in a cheapskate company that force you to work long hours.

I'm still single and I always go back on time without any problem.

It's been 5 years I didn't work long/extra hours. You just need to find a company that appreciate you, not squeezing you. And of course you have to be really choosy which company you want to join. I don't join typical SME or shop lot types of company.

if you need to ask this question. the answer is already clear.

Not everyone wants the norm.

Im 30 + closer to 40. Married with 1 baby.

Im happy . nuff said . Job pays enough to have a nearly fully paid house, cars for sepang and for family use.

No money left over for mistress . lel . which keeps my wife happy as well

This post has been edited by omnimech: Aug 3 2023, 12:16 AM

What kind of nonsense is this?

When you are single, you have all the money to spend by yourself.

Of course you will spend something that you can't afford last time, but you can afford it now. They can do whatever they want with the money.

I didn't know that you buy mountain bikes, superbikes for your wife & kids and bring them to play these dangerous sports. Bikers group, and other sports clubs in Facebook are exist for people to join.

There's nothing wrong for single people to take care their dementia parents. It's a sacrifice that younger people like us when we face this kind of situation. Of course it will affect your mental health and physical to take care sick people.

So if 1 day your parents diagnosed with dementia, what you will do? Throw your parents to senior living centre and let other people handle it??

Your point of views of single people are so shallow and pathetic.

Depends on your mindset. Some people cant function without a partner. Like my friend said ' i dont know what to do with my life if i dont have a gf', and he also thinks that eating alone in restaurant is pitiful. if you are like him, getting married is the only way.

gosh don't know which one is more pathetic, you misunderstand my writings or you thinking that I am really that shallow that single people are the only ones who can take care of dementia parents ?

U don't get my message, do you?

read it again. The only nonsense is your eyes.

I am saying people who chose to stay single, the feeling will magnify because they don't experience life around them, such as birth of their own child, but they experience death. Obviously everyone will experience death of a loved one close to them, but in the absence of children to bring back the hope of life, they may feel some sense that everyone around them are aging.

this one you may disagree with me, but misundestanding and reading it wrongly is pathetic.

why people always think if don’t get married then will forever stay single?

you can still find a like minded partner who also doesn’t wanna get married and live happily ever after

even if you stay single, what’s wrong with that. its 2023, there are many things out there for you to do. want companion so bad? get a dog

Starting a family Is the best way to learn responsibility and sacrification

Or, it could be argued that the best time to start a family is only AFTER one has learned responsibility and the need for sacrifices (and delayed gratification).

Gosh, the amount of self brag.
Always remember, the wheel of life turns round and round.

It's a personal choice to get married or not. Don't wanna argue about it.
When I deal with unmarried individuals over a certain age, can feel they are
- self centered
- unrefined
- childish
- seldom think of repercussions.
- vulnerable, easy to manipulate.

Hence I avoid trying to deal with them. This is why you see unmarried individuals usually don't maintain a good relationship with their happily married peers. They fall out quickly, and singles always wondered what happens.
Only people who would meet them are those in toxic relationships looking for an escape, or someone who pity them.

You can already see all the behaviour I listed above here in this topic.

Surely you can’t generalise every unmarried person that way? I’m sure you would have come across people who are single but didn’t behave the way you outlined above.

We all talk about majority and generalization here

Otherwise nothing can be talk about human except death because every single person dies.

Thank you for your clarification

Single better..

Strictly speaking about marriage.

As the a child of divorced parents, I've seen how ugly it can get when two individuals are forced to marry due to societal pressures.

Even without that there are so many issues that can strain a marriage (i.e finances, SO's family, mismatch of ideals post marriage).

Makes you wonder what the point of marriage?

Marriage is getting a lifelong best friend at minimum.

You can have a best friend and still not have the problems you mentioned above right? You are not going to complain about money, his family or your own ideals of perfection to your best friend. If your best friend is a man u supporter but you are liverpool you just grin and bear it right, why can't you do the same for your spouse?

Normally people become too comfortable, start taking their partners for granted, and that is where all the problems start.

Take a best friend as your base line, anything else is a bonus and you will do fine.

Never marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.

Marry him/her if you found a good AND correct one

I’ve been single and I found my love late,

And I choose to marry love every single time

Good as in personality wise
And.. make sure you find correct one. Correct means both family have similar mindset one, if the family cannot accept you, your love will either have to choose you, or her family. Cannot be both

Next comes to money, if no money then better don't beranak.

Lastly, always forgive each other no matter what. Guys, say sorry first even you're wrong and you don't mean it. It saves the war although you're losing the argument

If can't find your love, better to remain single

This post has been edited by thkent91: Aug 3 2023, 11:23 PM

no doubt on what u said, it is true
just curious to ask, was it a choice?

yes a choice

friendship blossomde during uni days

went thru thick and this

wasnt smooth sailing

but i'm thankful she and i together

Yes. My wife and I met in STPM. None of us had a reputation or any money. Yet we stuck together. Thick and thin.

no difference nowadays wife will left you if you become disability.

Better safe your money to pay for Retirement home when you retire and old

This post has been edited by andise: Aug 10 2023, 04:18 PM

There's an inherent pride of ANY man to be able to raise some children that can learn from the man best behaviour and discipline attributes etc

If you're not financially secure, its highly not recommended to get married, not only you will add burden to yourself, you will also have to accompany your sons for their mental development ie every weekend. If your kid has abandonment or parental issue, they will also be exhibiting bad qualities in the future

But it can also be difficult to find a good woman nowadays, because in order to do that you've to be top elite person in the society as well

The next question is do you want to raise a traditional family or liberal ones. Thats up to the beliefs that you've with your wife. It's not only journey of making more money but discover your essences or true potentials.

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Aug 10 2023, 04:42 PM

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The point of marriage is to raise wise kids
not good kids that constantly live in fear and seeks approvals
If the man or woman is not equipped in all aspects, not encouraged to get married

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Aug 10 2023, 04:44 PM