A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.
So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."
The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."
The manager fainted. Bwahahahhaa!
This post has been edited by castelloz: Oct 19 2007, 12:03 AM
A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.
So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."
The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."
The manager fainted. Bwahahahhaa!
nice .... hahahahahahaa!!!!!!!! even with colour u can make a joke... well done!
There was a chinese man from China and also another chinese man but from Malaysia standing at a pond. The chinese man from China was standing there and told the chinese man from Malaysia, that if you skip a rock across the pond it will tell you one of you greatest ancestors. So, the chinese man from China skipped a rock across and the pond said, "Ching-Chang-Chee." The chinese man from China said that it was his great uncle. So the chinese man from Malaysia said, "let me try." So he skipped the rock and the pond said, "Chim-Pan-Zee".
A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherf***ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, f*** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should f*** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
I think i've read this joke and the Jew mentioned in the joke is Steven Spielberg..
This post has been edited by cekutz: Oct 19 2007, 12:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
From: teluk chempedak, kuantan...
yeah2 i heard that one too... the end should be "Ahh, iceberg, spielberg, what's the difference?"
btw castelloz, i think the term "chinks" is used to describe american chinese, not malaysian chinese. same as "nigga" is used to describe african american, and i never heard one african call another "nigga" in africa. only here in malaysia we have african, we call em niggas. especially in my university, IIUM...
f*** em niggas, all girls go to them cuz they have monster dicks. batang jawa jangan dicabar hahaha...
This post has been edited by Bleed_X: Oct 19 2007, 12:17 AM
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someoneis home. He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?" The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight." The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my grandaughter." The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tommorrow morning." The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then I'll give you the three worst chinese torture tests ever known to man." "Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides, he thought to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all herlife? Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many, many months without companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal. That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had quite a time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room later that night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience." Well, the next morning the man awoke to find a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign saying "First Chinese torture test: 50 kg rock on your chest". "What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out. On the backside of the rock is another sign saying "Second worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied to RIGHT testicle". The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock. Outside the window is a third sign saying "Third worst Chinese torture test: LEFT testicle tied to bedpost".
OMG! Wahahahhaha!
This post has been edited by castelloz: Oct 19 2007, 12:17 AM
where can you found all Malaysian Races( Chinese Malay Indian Punjabi etc)?? Mamak stall.. cuz its cheap, halal, got entertainment ( Astro ) and on the corner..
This post has been edited by xsan: Oct 19 2007, 03:03 AM
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
Added on October 19, 2007, 8:26 am
A mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son haven't shown the slighted indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house. The son came home from work, grudgingly.
Upon arriving, he found out that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose whose to be his future bride.
The first one was a well-endowned telephonist-via-receptionist. he immidiately rejected " Aiyaa... mother, when they answer telephone one, they always say.... HOLD ON, HOLD ON........."
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also"Aiyaa... mother, this one aaa..., when taking down short hand notes from her boss, always say..SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN...."
By this time, the mother is nearing frustation. She called a sweet, but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!! The mother was surprised... "Why this one? The previous two were a lot more better looking!" He replies " Teachers aaa.... while teaching, always say to their pupils...REPEAT, REPEAT AGAIN...SOME MORE, SOME MORE....!"
Her youngest son, who is 10 years old, was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted "Brader aaa.....female bus conductor more better laa....they always say..NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT... MASUK LAGI DALAM, BELAKANG KOSONG!"
This post has been edited by killingspree: Oct 19 2007, 08:26 AM
Yays i get to have a title...er...what should i put?
Senior Member
761 posts
Joined: Oct 2005
From: sOMWhERE I bELONG
QUOTE(killingspree @ Oct 19 2007, 08:23 AM)
this one really chinese joke ....
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
Added on October 19, 2007, 8:26 am
A mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son haven't shown the slighted indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house. The son came home from work, grudgingly.
Upon arriving, he found out that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose whose to be his future bride.
The first one was a well-endowned telephonist-via-receptionist. he immidiately rejected " Aiyaa... mother, when they answer telephone one, they always say.... HOLD ON, HOLD ON........."
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also"Aiyaa... mother, this one aaa..., when taking down short hand notes from her boss, always say..SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN...."
By this time, the mother is nearing frustation. She called a sweet, but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!! The mother was surprised... "Why this one? The previous two were a lot more better looking!" He replies " Teachers aaa.... while teaching, always say to their pupils...REPEAT, REPEAT AGAIN...SOME MORE, SOME MORE....!"
Her youngest son, who is 10 years old, was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted "Brader aaa.....female bus conductor more better laa....they always say..NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT... MASUK LAGI DALAM, BELAKANG KOSONG!"
i rofl and lmao when i see this one. this one really kick ass
An elderly is sitting on the bench in a park, and not long after, a Chinese Ah Beng comes by and sat himself next to the old man.
The old man gave the Ah Beng a good look. His hair was dyed in all different colors. Lime green, orange, purple, red and blonde. The old man was obviously amused.
Realising that, the Ah Beng turned around and gave the man a gaze and said "What is it, old fag? Never done something this crazy in your life before, eh?".
To which the old man replies... "Yup, once, I had sex with a parrot."
Chinese people? Ah, we all knows them are lanun cetak rompak.. Everything also they want to modify illegaly Lanun!
A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherf***ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, f*** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should f*** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
How do you know if a chink robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
What do you call a fat chinaman? A Chunk!
How did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.
Hohoho!
i dont get the 2nd and 3rd joke... anyone please enlighten me
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 19 2007, 12:15 AM)
Ah! I dont care liao. Heres another one..
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someoneis home. He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?" The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight." The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my grandaughter." The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tommorrow morning." The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then I'll give you the three worst chinese torture tests ever known to man." "Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides, he thought to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all herlife? Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many, many months without companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal. That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had quite a time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room later that night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience." Well, the next morning the man awoke to find a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign saying "First Chinese torture test: 50 kg rock on your chest". "What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out. On the backside of the rock is another sign saying "Second worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied to RIGHT testicle". The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock. Outside the window is a third sign saying "Third worst Chinese torture test: LEFT testicle tied to bedpost".
1)there a conversation between 3 frens, malay, indian n chinese
chinese: u see are, we chinese are the most smart human in the world.. we only eat using 2 chopstick, while u indian n malay using 5 fingers to eat.. indian: eh, how come.... malay: walaneh, we are the most smart bcoz we eat using 5 fingers, while u eat using 5 fingers n 2 chopstick,,, count by urself. indian: huhu!!
2) There are also 3 frens indian,chinese n malay walking in the jungle n suddenly they found a white chick swimming in the river... n they started to do something evil ... they gangbang the white chick n suddenly her father saw n catch those 3 bastards.... the father said they must be punished... but 3 of them must go to the jungle find fruits n came back to see him, or else u r dead meat. so three of them went to the jungle n find the fruits...
then a malay guy bring back grapes n give to that man..
the father: do a doggiestyle position( n he try to push that grape into the malay guys' as#h#les... malay: oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! its hurt.....wtf r u doing???!! ( said malay guy to that man),...
then.... an indian fren comes with lemons n saw a malay guy with the grape on his ass.. n hes worried n scared ... later that indian fren also kena like his malay fren....
suddenly, they both laugh like hell... bcoz....
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
they saw a chinese fren bring back durians..... wtf!
durians? khokhokhokhokho
QUOTE(8L@Z3 @ Oct 17 2007, 03:39 PM)
so what u think about this
QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 18 2007, 11:44 PM)
Chinese people? Ah, we all knows them are lanun cetak rompak.. Everything also they want to modify illegaly Lanun!
A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherf***ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, f*** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should f*** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
How do you know if a chink robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
What do you call a fat chinaman? A Chunk!
How did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.
Hohoho!
QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 18 2007, 11:54 PM)
A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.
So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."
The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."
The manager fainted. Bwahahahhaa!
QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 19 2007, 12:05 AM)
There was a chinese man from China and also another chinese man but from Malaysia standing at a pond. The chinese man from China was standing there and told the chinese man from Malaysia, that if you skip a rock across the pond it will tell you one of you greatest ancestors. So, the chinese man from China skipped a rock across and the pond said, "Ching-Chang-Chee." The chinese man from China said that it was his great uncle. So the chinese man from Malaysia said, "let me try." So he skipped the rock and the pond said, "Chim-Pan-Zee".
Hahahaha! Yee hoo!
QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 19 2007, 12:15 AM)
Ah! I dont care liao. Heres another one..
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someoneis home. He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?" The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight." The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my grandaughter." The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tommorrow morning." The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then I'll give you the three worst chinese torture tests ever known to man." "Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides, he thought to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all herlife? Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many, many months without companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal. That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had quite a time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room later that night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience." Well, the next morning the man awoke to find a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign saying "First Chinese torture test: 50 kg rock on your chest". "What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out. On the backside of the rock is another sign saying "Second worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied to RIGHT testicle". The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock. Outside the window is a third sign saying "Third worst Chinese torture test: LEFT testicle tied to bedpost".
OMG! Wahahahhaha!
QUOTE(xsan @ Oct 19 2007, 03:00 AM)
where can you found all Malaysian Races( Chinese Malay Indian Punjabi etc)?? Mamak stall.. cuz its cheap, halal, got entertainment ( Astro ) and on the corner..
QUOTE(killingspree @ Oct 19 2007, 08:23 AM)
this one really chinese joke ....
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
Added on October 19, 2007, 8:26 am
A mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son haven't shown the slighted indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house. The son came home from work, grudgingly.
Upon arriving, he found out that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose whose to be his future bride.
The first one was a well-endowned telephonist-via-receptionist. he immidiately rejected " Aiyaa... mother, when they answer telephone one, they always say.... HOLD ON, HOLD ON........."
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also"Aiyaa... mother, this one aaa..., when taking down short hand notes from her boss, always say..SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN...."
By this time, the mother is nearing frustation. She called a sweet, but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!! The mother was surprised... "Why this one? The previous two were a lot more better looking!" He replies " Teachers aaa.... while teaching, always say to their pupils...REPEAT, REPEAT AGAIN...SOME MORE, SOME MORE....!"
Her youngest son, who is 10 years old, was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted "Brader aaa.....female bus conductor more better laa....they always say..NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT... MASUK LAGI DALAM, BELAKANG KOSONG!"
QUOTE(blinky @ Oct 19 2007, 11:44 AM)
An elderly is sitting on the bench in a park, and not long after, a Chinese Ah Beng comes by and sat himself next to the old man.
The old man gave the Ah Beng a good look. His hair was dyed in all different colors. Lime green, orange, purple, red and blonde. The old man was obviously amused.
Realising that, the Ah Beng turned around and gave the man a gaze and said "What is it, old fag? Never done something this crazy in your life before, eh?".
To which the old man replies... "Yup, once, I had sex with a parrot."
"And now I'm just wondering if you're my son."
hahahaha thats make sense
This post has been edited by serez: Oct 19 2007, 04:19 PM
LAST TIME... CHINESE, MALAY, INDIANS IN MALAYSIA ARE BLACK IN COLOUR, DARK SKIN.
So one day, GOD decided that he should put in some different colours to all the races.
HE said, "People, there is a magic water in a swimming pool 100 meters ahead of you. In 20 seconds, the water will dry up. So run as fast as u can towards the swimming pool and use the magic water to wash ur skin."
So all races sent out a representative. Chinese one person, Malay one person and Indian one person.
God said, "GO!" and all 3 of the representative started racing towards the swimming pool.
The chinese arrive in 10 seconds, so he strated brushing his skin with the water. (There was still a lot of water)
The Malay arrive in 15 seconds, and he too started washing his skin. (Water is less, but still got 5 seconds before all water is dried)
The Indian arrive in 19 seconds and quickly jumped into the pool. (left abit of water)
So at the 20th second, GOD take a look at all 3 representative.
The chinese is fair, coz he had 10 seconds to wash his skin before the water dry up.
The malay still quite fair, coz he only had 5 seconds to wash his skin.
The indian landed in the swimming pool with ONLY his hands and feet touching the water so they are black everywhere except on their palms and feet.
THAT IS WHY TODAY, THE INDIANS NATURALLY RUN FREAKING FAST!!
LAST TIME... CHINESE, MALAY, INDIANS IN MALAYSIA ARE BLACK IN COLOUR, DARK SKIN.
So one day, GOD decided that he should put in some different colours to all the races.
HE said, "People, there is a magic water in a swimming pool 100 meters ahead of you. In 20 seconds, the water will dry up. So run as fast as u can towards the swimming pool and use the magic water to wash ur skin."
So all races sent out a representative. Chinese one person, Malay one person and Indian one person.
God said, "GO!" and all 3 of the representative started racing towards the swimming pool.
The chinese arrive in 10 seconds, so he strated brushing his skin with the water. (There was still a lot of water)
The Malay arrive in 15 seconds, and he too started washing his skin. (Water is less, but still got 5 seconds before all water is dried)
The Indian arrive in 19 seconds and quickly jumped into the pool. (left abit of water)
So at the 20th second, GOD take a look at all 3 representative.
The chinese is fair, coz he had 10 seconds to wash his skin before the water dry up.
The malay still quite fair, coz he only had 5 seconds to wash his skin.
The indian landed in the swimming pool with ONLY his hands and feet touching the water so they are black everywhere except on their palms and feet.
THAT IS WHY TODAY, THE INDIANS NATURALLY RUN FREAKING FAST!!
~ Added on October 18, 2007, 9:22 pm huhu..come on man..i see some modified jokes on malays and indians in previous posts...the point of making jokes is to have fun..if u cant take it...dont make fun of others...
There are so many Ah Beng and Ah Lians jokes lying around, and those are so Chinese. Meh...
These are what I find to be a good (not necessarily funny) Chinese racial jokes.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(malayneum @ Sep 27 2007, 06:07 AM)
here my contribution
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(gregy @ Sep 27 2007, 06:27 AM)
I'm sure you've heard about the two Chinese shops selling cooking gas right opposite each other. One's called Wee Kien Fatt while his competitor across the road's called Soh Kien Wee.....
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(b3rnard7 @ Sep 27 2007, 08:43 AM)
Is a joke from a forward mail tat I receive long time ago,
Malaysian in Space
Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.
3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"
Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit." "Why so much?" asks Dr. M. "Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu. "I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here." So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question. "Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant. "2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!" "You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..." "I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?" Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million." Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!" Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."
Although the joke is not on the Chinese, but rather the situation
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(Vorador @ Sep 27 2007, 09:20 AM)
Redirect from Malaysian's uncycloppedia: (Actually I saw this somewhere before the uncyclopedia, so it's not origin from that page)
In Malaysia...
If you're not lazy, you're not Malay, If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese, If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
QUOTE(Kusa @ Sep 28 2007, 03:53 AM)
Old jokes, but anyway...
How the 3 races buy a car...
Chinese will ask: Boss ah, resale value good anot?
Malay will ask: Encik, minyak dia satu tank bape ringgit?
Indians will ask: Inche, ini kereta brapa orang buleh masuk?
---
Q: When a Malay guy marries a Chinese/Punjabi mix girl, what will their child be? A: A Mah Chi Bai.
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When Hari Raya comes close to Chinese New Year, they call it 'Kongsi Raya'
When Hari Raya comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Deeparaya'
When Chinese New Year comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Kongsi Gelap'
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QUOTE(Glocker @ Sep 30 2007, 04:37 PM)
Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian chicks. Malay girl
1st date: You get to hold hands
2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.
3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS. Chinese girl
1st date: You take her to a restaurant.
2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.
3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night. [I] Indian girl
1st date: You meet her parents.
2nd date: She meets your parents.
3rd date: Wedding night.
This is a modified joke. But it did mainly captured the stereotypical characteristic of the races.
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QUOTE(redeye84 @ Oct 10 2007, 01:12 PM)
I got one.
A Indian,Chinese and a Malay guy walking down the street then suddenly a Car came and knock all 3 of them in 1 shot.
Soon it attracted a Crowd as there try to help the victims. While waiting for the ambulance , The Indian guy suddenly woke up and the Crowd ask what happend?
He said when they all 3 were hit they when to heaven. God told them that it wasnt really their time so with a fee of $100 they can return back to their body.
So the Crowd ask where was the Chinese and Malay guy. He said "Last time i remember The Chinese guy was bargaining for a lowwer fee and The malay guy insist that his Goverment pay for it.
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QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 18 2007, 11:44 PM)
How did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.
Hohoho!
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QUOTE(castelloz @ Oct 18 2007, 11:54 PM)
A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.
So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."
The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."
The manager fainted. Bwahahahhaa!
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QUOTE(killingspree @ Oct 19 2007, 08:23 AM)
this one really chinese joke ....
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
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QUOTE(blinky @ Oct 19 2007, 11:44 AM)
An elderly is sitting on the bench in a park, and not long after, a Chinese Ah Beng comes by and sat himself next to the old man.
The old man gave the Ah Beng a good look. His hair was dyed in all different colors. Lime green, orange, purple, red and blonde. The old man was obviously amused.
Realising that, the Ah Beng turned around and gave the man a gaze and said "What is it, old fag? Never done something this crazy in your life before, eh?".
To which the old man replies... "Yup, once, I had sex with a parrot."
"And now I'm just wondering if you're my son."
This is also a mod, but considering the colours of the typical Ah Beng/Lian's hair, fits nicely.
As for the bad ones, lacking racial traits.... Lame attempt.
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QUOTE(oUtLawMaNia @ Oct 10 2007, 01:16 AM)
4 friends, an Indonesian, a French, a Malay, and a Chinese, went hiking on a hill together. When they reached the top, the Indonesian took out a cigarette and started smoking halfway before throwing his pack of cigarettes down the hill. He said, "My country lacks of everything except of cigarettes."
Not to be outdone, the French took out an expensive bottle of fragrance, put it on, and threw the remaining down the hill. "My country lacks of everything except of fragrances."
When they both turned their heads to the Chinese, they looked in horror as the Chinese kicked his Malay friend down the hill. "My country ah, what also don't have, only have alot of Malays."
If you mod this, then shame on you. The correct version was a Malaysian throwing the Indonesian.
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QUOTE(Holyboyz @ Oct 10 2007, 12:29 PM)
Heres a few more! once more no offence When a Malay and an Indian is in a car whos driving?
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THE POLICE
What is Yellow out side black inside and funny!
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A school bus with Indians inside driving off a cliff
2 Malay guys jump off a cliff who reaches the bottom and dies first?
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WHO CARES!!
What do u do when u see a Malay with half a face?
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Stop laughing and reload the shotgun
A Malay person on the moon is a called?
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A problem
A group or Malay people on the moon is called?
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problem'S
The entire Malay population on the moon is called?
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Problem solve
An Indian under the ocean
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POLLUTION
The entire Indian population under the ocean
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SOLUTION
If these offends anyone at all ill take them down on the spot ty for reading
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QUOTE(Holyboyz @ Oct 10 2007, 02:19 PM)
Here's a Chinese one!
One day a chinese, malay, and indian guy died and went to heaven. The guardian of heavens gates said that heaven was overpopulated and he can only let a person in if they are truly and purely holy.To determined whether they are holy enuf or not they had to climb the "100 stairs of dirty jokes" where at every step an angel will appear and tell them a dirty joke,if they can climb the stairs without laughing at any of the jokes they would be able to enter heaven.
So the malay guy started first....on the 3rd step he laughed and *BOOM* was sent to hell
2nd the indian guy went......on the 40th step the laugh so loud he craped his pants *BOOM* he was sent to hell
Finally it was the Chinese guys turn....he climbed climbed and climbed without laughing at any of the jokes...amazingly he made it to the 99th step!! 1 more to go and he would make it to heaven. BUT as he was going to climb the final step he laughed out loud and *BOOM* was send to hell
The Malay and indian guy in hell was confused and ask him why did he laugh!! he was to close to getting into heaven
The chinese guy said :" i finally understood the first joke"
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QUOTE(Holyboyz @ Oct 10 2007, 09:49 PM)
One day there was a magical room that if u tell a lie in it u will...*POOF* vanish. There was a Malay,indian and chinise guy in the magic room and they must say something about themselfs to get out of the room..The chinise guy started
Chinese guy:"I think i am........HANDSOME!!!".....a momment later nothing happened and the chinese guy could get out....then the indian guy said.
Indian guy:" I think i have......FAIR SKIN!!!" and *POOF* the indian guy vanished. the malay guy after seeing this thought to him self and thinking he should tell the truth...so he said..
Malay guy: I THINK....*POOF* the malay guy vanished no offense as usual
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QUOTE(badang_1785 @ Oct 11 2007, 11:01 AM)
~ Added on October 11, 2007, 11:05 amAh Beng and his ever nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told Ah Beng, "You can have her shipped home to Malaysia for USD$2000, or you can bury her for in the Holy Land for USD$150." Ah Beng thought about it and calculated that it would cost him a whooping MYR$6889.70 (Malaysian Ringgit) for the shipping expenditure. After due consideration, Ah Beng replied - "I take Option 1 lah". The undertaker was puzzled and asked, "Why would you spend USD$2000 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only USD$150?"
Ah Beng answereEd, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and in 3 days later, he rose from the dead. I just can't take the chance... "
The joke is funny, but got nothing to do with Chinese at all.
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QUOTE(badang_1785 @ Oct 11 2007, 01:51 PM)
Ahmad, Kumar and Ah Beng was walking along a street when they suddenly spotted a mysterious object on the floor. They drew closer to the object and Ahmad made a remark, "Looks like shit lah!!".
Then Kumar take a sniff at the object and said, "Smells like shit also!!"
Ah Beng then poked his finger in the object and put it in his mouth. He said, "Confirmed..it's shit!! Phew..luckily we never stepped on it!!!".
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QUOTE(killingspree @ Oct 17 2007, 11:49 AM)
2) There are also 3 frens indian,chinese n malay walking in the jungle n suddenly they found a white chick swimming in the river... n they started to do something evil ... they gangbang the white chick n suddenly her father saw n catch those 3 bastards.... the father said they must be punished... but 3 of them must go to the jungle find fruits n came back to see him, or else u r dead meat. so three of them went to the jungle n find the fruits...
then a malay guy bring back grapes n give to that man..
the father: do a doggiestyle position( n he try to push that grape into the malay guys' as#h#les... malay: oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! its hurt.....wtf r u doing???!! ( said malay guy to that man),...
then.... an indian fren comes with lemons n saw a malay guy with the grape on his ass.. n hes worried n scared ... later that indian fren also kena like his malay fren....
suddenly, they both laugh like hell... bcoz....
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they saw a chinese fren bring back durians..... wtf!
Oct 18 2007, 11:54 PM
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