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 Malaysian Racist Jokes (not religion), For mamak sharing, share here

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damniel
post Aug 6 2010, 12:48 PM

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here's a good clean one.

did u know u can tell the races from the way they beat their drums?

malay; untung, tak untung, untung, tak untung
indian: kadang kala untung, kadang kala untung, kadang kala untung
chinese: untung, untung, untung, untung
Birdie93
post Mar 26 2011, 06:44 PM

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what do your call a indian priest ? biggrin.gif
-HOLY SHIT

why cant indians play good football ?
-because every time they get a corner, they set up a mamak stall HAHA

JUST JOKES NO OFFENCE ;-)
SUSd3m0n
post Mar 28 2011, 09:48 AM

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Awesome thread! Keep it coming guys!
TSdaijoubu
post Mar 28 2011, 11:52 AM

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QUOTE(Birdie93 @ Mar 26 2011, 06:44 PM)
what do your call a indian priest ? biggrin.gif
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Birdie this joke is not appropriate due to it touches on religion.
In this thread, only race is allowed, not religion. Can you remove it? smile.gif

Thanks
elite87
post Mar 29 2011, 08:43 AM

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QUOTE(daijoubu @ Mar 28 2011, 11:52 AM)
Birdie this joke is not appropriate due to it touches on religion.
In this thread, only race is allowed, not religion. Can you remove it? smile.gif

Thanks
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yup.. I agree too.. Should be removed....
wildcat90
post Mar 30 2011, 04:22 AM

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QUOTE(damniel @ Aug 6 2010, 12:48 PM)
here's a good clean one.

did u know u can tell the races from the way they beat their drums?

malay; untung, tak untung, untung, tak untung
indian: kadang kala untung, kadang kala untung, kadang kala untung
chinese: untung, untung, untung, untung
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LOLOLOL!!
cubix
post Mar 31 2011, 07:40 PM

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QUOTE(prototype_x0 @ Jun 12 2010, 04:21 PM)
original from me, no offense though

as you know heaven is a very pure and clean place. so 1 day 3 man died, malay, chinese, indian.. in order to go to heaven, each one of them must be screen test and if confirm completely clean then only can enter. malay and indian dont have any problem, a screen test then straight into heaven.. chinese on the other hand fail the screen test and straight into hell... why?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

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this is the lamest of all.
Mollai
post Apr 1 2011, 04:45 PM

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QUOTE(yyonglim @ Aug 6 2010, 12:36 PM)
This one does'nt make any sense. Dog eats Pedigree, Cat eat Whiskers, that's fine. But what eats pork?

If you are trying to saying malays = pigs, this doesnt compute because Malays dont eat pork?!? FAIL, DUCY?
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I think it was trying to say that some of them curi makan pork?
Cowhide
post Apr 5 2011, 06:06 PM

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This is an old German Hitler movie, with Malaysian sub titles on current topic in the newspaper..
Dam funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idd_Qz9IH9s



This post has been edited by Cowhide: Apr 5 2011, 07:11 PM
imjustakid
post Jun 28 2011, 07:12 PM

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What do you call a Chinese guy driving a Ferarri?
A rich Chinese guy right?

What do you call a Malay guy driving a Ferarri?
The chauffeur.

What do you call an Indian guy driving a Ferarri?
Car thief!

No offence hehe
SUSadvocado
post Jul 4 2011, 02:51 PM

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fix'ed

QUOTE(imjustakid @ Jun 28 2011, 07:12 PM)
What do you call a Chinese guy driving a Ferarri?
Tauke

What do you call a Malay guy driving a Ferarri?
AhMat

What do you call an Indian guy driving a Ferarri?
Car Washer

No offence hehe
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This post has been edited by advocado: Jul 4 2011, 02:51 PM
latias93
post Jul 6 2011, 02:22 AM

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QUOTE
A: Cerita pasal makan, Malaysia manyak muhibbah ma~ Cina makan Melayu, Melayu makan India, India makan Cina dan Melayu
B: ??
A: Cina makan Melayu punya nasi lemak, Melayu makan India punya roti canai, dan India makan makanan Melayu sama Cina.


This joke is actually from the movie "Lagi Lagi Senario". I've watched this movie over a hundred times, it was during Senario's heydays.

Anyway, during this particular scene, the Indian guy and the Chinese guy was reciting the aforementioned joke and while doing so, they were playing checkers. Each them the Indian guy pronounced the word "makan", he would loudly move his checkers pieces across the board, "eating" his opponents pieces. laugh.gif
rave963
post Aug 6 2011, 04:01 AM

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This is a hokkien joke that my father told me =D but its kinda lame

When a hokkien man stands in front of a black and dark tunnel, he ask is anyone there?? Then the tunnel replied him '' Wuu, wuuu ,wuu'' (means got got got). Suddenly the man is dead.

Why??
Heres the answer
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
maranello55
post Aug 6 2011, 04:03 AM

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heres a famous one...

u see a snake and an indian.....which one u beat first?
rave963
post Aug 6 2011, 04:05 AM

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QUOTE(maranello55 @ Aug 6 2011, 04:03 AM)
heres a famous one...

u see a snake and an indian.....which one u beat first?
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lols .. i was about to tell this too But my version is

If you have a gun with one bullet left. Which one would you shoot ?? The indian or the snake.

Answer:
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «



Added on August 6, 2011, 4:14 amThis joke is for DotA players.

2 years ago during my secondary school days. Me and my friends went to Cyber Cafe to play DotA (Im a noob =D). Upon ganking an enemy hero. My friend who is a eurrasian (forgot spelling) used Huskar, Sacred Warrior. We shouted Huskar , ULTI ... He tells us no mana =-=''.. This was stupid. Because Huskar's ulti does not required any mana XD ..

This post has been edited by rave963: Aug 6 2011, 04:15 AM
ashed_dreams
post Aug 23 2011, 06:54 PM

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Q: What do you call 4 indians under a red blanket?
A: KitKat

Q: What do you call a big fat indian under a red blanket?
A: KitKat chunky.

Q: What do you call a Sikh with one ball?
A: Balwan (ball-one)

Q: What do you call a Sikh with 2 balls?
A: Balan-sikh (balancing)

Q: What do you call a problematic sikh?
A: Tiunia Sikh

Q: What do you call a new born Sikh?
A: Sikh-let


Ah Beng was involved in a car accident, he told the police: "My car tyre no more flower kenot eat the floor..."

This post has been edited by ashed_dreams: Aug 23 2011, 06:54 PM
reehdus
post Aug 27 2011, 07:27 PM

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QUOTE(rave963 @ Aug 6 2011, 04:05 AM)
lols .. i was about to tell this too  But my version is

If you have a gun with one bullet left. Which one would you shoot ?? The indian or the snake.

Answer:
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «



Added on August 6, 2011, 4:14 amThis joke is for DotA players.

2 years ago during my secondary school days. Me and my friends went to Cyber Cafe to play DotA (Im a noob =D). Upon ganking an enemy hero. My friend who is a eurrasian (forgot spelling) used Huskar, Sacred Warrior. We shouted Huskar , ULTI ... He tells us no mana =-=''.. This was stupid. Because Huskar's ulti does not required any mana XD ..
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actually the joke is if u have a gun with 2 bullets who do u shoot? being an indian myself, i'm able to laugh at jokes about us but i prefer they be written correctly if possible.

if you have a gun with 2 bullets and in front of you are an Indian, a tiger and a snake what do you shoot?
Ans: the Indian, twice.

and the joke about dota is really funny. I like how you added the fact that he's eurasian to tie it with the theme of the racist jokes thread. that was really funny, i was literally doubled over laughing. of course it was so stupid to say he had no mana.

QUOTE(ashed_dreams @ Aug 23 2011, 06:54 PM)
Q: What do you call 4 indians under a red blanket?
A: KitKat

Q: What do you call a big fat indian under a red blanket?
A: KitKat chunky.

Q: What do you call a Sikh with one ball?
A: Balwan (ball-one)

Q: What do you call a Sikh with 2 balls?
A: Balan-sikh (balancing)

Q: What do you call a problematic sikh?
A: Tiunia Sikh

Q: What do you call a new born Sikh?
A: Sikh-let
Ah Beng was involved in a car accident, he told the police: "My car tyre no more flower kenot eat the floor..."
*
I think the jokes make more sense if you use 'Singh' instead of Sikh (no offence intended). Like the last one: a new born sikh would be a 'singh-let' aka singlet.


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