here my contribution

I'm sure you've heard about the two Chinese shops selling cooking gas right opposite each other. One's called Wee Kien Fatt while his competitor across the road's called Soh Kien Wee.....

Is a joke from a forward mail tat I receive long time ago,

Malaysian in Space

Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.

3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"

Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only  asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained  Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"

The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."

Redirect from Malaysian's uncycloppedia: (Actually I saw this somewhere before the uncyclopedia, so it's not origin from that page)

In Malaysia...

If you're not lazy, you're not Malay,
If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese,
If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~

Old jokes, but anyway...

How the 3 races buy a car...

Chinese will ask: Boss ah, resale value good anot?

Malay will ask: Encik, minyak dia satu tank bape ringgit?

Indians will ask: Inche, ini kereta brapa orang buleh masuk?

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Q: When a Malay guy marries a Chinese/Punjabi mix girl, what will their child be?
A: A Mah Chi Bai.

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When Hari Raya comes close to Chinese New Year, they call it 'Kongsi Raya'

When Hari Raya comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Deeparaya'

When Chinese New Year comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Kongsi Gelap'

Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian chicks.

Malay girl

1st date: You get to hold hands

2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.

3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.

Chinese girl

1st date: You take her to a restaurant.

2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.

3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
[I]
Indian girl

1st date: You meet her parents.

2nd date: She meets your parents.

3rd date: Wedding night.

I got one.

A Indian,Chinese and a Malay guy walking down the street then suddenly a Car came and knock all 3 of them in 1 shot.

Soon it attracted a Crowd as there try to help the victims. While waiting for the ambulance , The Indian guy suddenly woke up and the Crowd ask what happend?

He said when they all 3 were hit they when to heaven. God told them that it wasnt really their time so with a fee of $100 they can return back to their body.

So the Crowd ask where was the Chinese and Malay guy. He said
"Last time i remember The Chinese guy was bargaining for a lowwer fee and The malay guy insist that his Goverment pay for it.

How did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.

Hohoho!

A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.

So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. 
The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."

The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."

The manager fainted.
Bwahahahhaa! 

this one really chinese joke ....

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and
wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they
could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As
they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea
what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and
hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"

The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

An elderly is sitting on the bench in a park, and not long after, a Chinese Ah Beng  comes by and sat himself next to the old man.

The old man gave the Ah Beng a good look. His hair was dyed in all different colors. Lime green, orange, purple, red and blonde. The old man was obviously amused.

Realising that, the Ah Beng turned around and gave the man a gaze and said "What is it, old fag? Never done something this crazy in your life before, eh?".

To which the old man replies... "Yup, once, I had sex with a parrot."

"And now I'm just wondering if you're my son."

4 friends, an Indonesian, a French, a Malay, and a Chinese, went hiking on a hill together.  When they reached the top, the Indonesian took out a cigarette and started smoking halfway before throwing his pack of cigarettes down the hill.  He said, "My country lacks of everything except of cigarettes." 

Not to be outdone, the French took out an expensive bottle of fragrance, put it on, and threw the remaining down the hill.  "My country lacks of everything except of fragrances."

When they both turned their heads to the Chinese, they looked in horror as the Chinese kicked his Malay friend down the hill.  "My country ah, what also don't have, only have alot of Malays."

Heres a few  more! once more no offence
When a Malay and an Indian is in a car whos driving?



What is Yellow out side black inside and funny!



2 Malay guys jump off a cliff who reaches the bottom and dies first?



What do u do when u see a Malay with half a face?



A Malay person on the moon is a called?



A group or Malay people on the moon is called?



The entire Malay population on the moon is called?



An Indian under the ocean



The entire Indian population under the ocean



If these offends anyone at all ill take them down on the spot
ty for reading 

Here's a Chinese one!

One day a chinese, malay, and indian guy died and went to heaven. The guardian of heavens gates said that heaven was overpopulated and he can only let a person in if they are truly and purely holy.To determined whether they are holy enuf or not they had to climb the "100 stairs of dirty jokes" where at every step an angel will appear and tell them a dirty joke,if they can climb the stairs without laughing at any of the jokes they would be able to enter heaven.

So the malay guy started first....on the 3rd step he laughed and *BOOM* was sent to hell

2nd the indian guy went......on the 40th step the laugh so loud he craped his pants *BOOM* he was sent to hell

Finally it was the Chinese guys turn....he climbed climbed and climbed without laughing at any of the jokes...amazingly he made it to the 99th step!! 1 more to go and he would make it to heaven. BUT as he was going to climb the final step he laughed out loud and *BOOM* was send to hell

The Malay and indian guy in hell was confused and ask him why did he laugh!! he was to close to getting into heaven

The chinese guy said :" i finally understood the first joke"

One day there was a magical room that if u tell a lie in it u will...*POOF* vanish. There was a Malay,indian and chinise guy in the magic room and they must say something about themselfs to get out of the room..The chinise guy started

Chinese guy:"I think i am........HANDSOME!!!".....a momment later nothing happened and the chinese guy could get out....then the indian guy said.

Indian guy:" I think i have......FAIR  SKIN!!!" and *POOF* the indian guy vanished. the malay guy after seeing this thought to him self and thinking he should tell the truth...so he said..

Malay guy: I THINK....*POOF* the malay guy vanished
no offense as usual 

~

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Added on October 11, 2007, 11:05 amAh Beng and his ever nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told Ah Beng, "You can have her shipped home to Malaysia for USD$2000, or you can bury her for in the Holy Land for USD$150." Ah Beng thought about it and calculated that it would cost him a whooping MYR$6889.70 (Malaysian Ringgit) for the shipping expenditure. After due consideration, Ah Beng replied - "I take Option 1 lah". The undertaker was puzzled and asked, "Why would you spend USD$2000 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only USD$150?"

Ah Beng answereEd, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and in 3 days later, he rose from the dead. I just can't take the chance... "

Ahmad, Kumar and Ah Beng was walking along a street when they suddenly spotted a mysterious object on the floor. They drew closer to the object and Ahmad made a remark, "Looks like shit lah!!".

Then Kumar take a sniff at the object and said, "Smells like shit also!!"

Ah Beng then poked his finger in the object and put it in his mouth. He said, "Confirmed..it's shit!! Phew..luckily we never stepped on it!!!".

2) There are also 3 frens indian,chinese n malay walking in the jungle n suddenly they found a white chick swimming in the river... n they started to do something evil  ... they gangbang the white chick n suddenly her father saw n catch those 3 bastards.... the father said they must be punished... but 3 of them must go to the jungle find fruits n came back to see him, or else u r dead meat. so three of them went to the jungle n find the fruits...

then a malay guy bring back grapes n give to that man..

the father: do a doggiestyle position( n he try to push that grape into the malay guys' as#h#les...
malay: oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! its hurt.....wtf r u doing???!! ( said malay guy to that man),...

then.... an indian fren comes with lemons n saw a malay guy with the grape on his ass.. n hes worried n scared  ...
later that indian fren also kena like his malay fren....

suddenly, they both laugh like hell...      bcoz....