1)there a conversation between 3 frens, malay, indian n chinese

chinese: u see are, we chinese are the most smart human in the world.. we only eat using 2 chopstick, while u indian n malay using 5 fingers to eat..
indian: eh, how come....
malay: walaneh, we are the most smart bcoz we eat using 5 fingers, while u eat using 5 fingers n 2 chopstick,,, count by urself.
indian: huhu!! 

2) There are also 3 frens indian,chinese n malay walking in the jungle n suddenly they found a white chick swimming in the river... n they started to do something evil  ... they gangbang the white chick n suddenly her father saw n catch those 3 bastards.... the father said they must be punished... but 3 of them must go to the jungle find fruits n came back to see him, or else u r dead meat. so three of them went to the jungle n find the fruits...

then a malay guy bring back grapes n give to that man..

the father: do a doggiestyle position( n he try to push that grape into the malay guys' as#h#les...
malay: oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! its hurt.....wtf r u doing???!! ( said malay guy to that man),...

then.... an indian fren comes with lemons n saw a malay guy with the grape on his ass.. n hes worried n scared  ...
later that indian fren also kena like his malay fren....

suddenly, they both laugh like hell...      bcoz....

so what u think about this

Chinese people? Ah, we all knows them are lanun cetak rompak.. Everything also they want to modify illegaly
Lanun!

A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherf***ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, f*** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should f*** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!

What do you call a fat chinaman?
A Chunk!

How did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.

Hohoho!

A chinese woman went to a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw the woman's colorful attire and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming inside his head "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still has to accommodate time to this woman.

So he asked the chinese woman,"if you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will consider you as a candidate for the position. 
The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE AND BLACK."

The chinese woman thought for a while and said, "I hear the phone GREEN,GREEN, GREEN. Then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW. . . . BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong number lah... Don't disturb PURPLE and don't call BLACK. OK!?!? Thank you."

The manager fainted.
Bwahahahhaa! 

There was a chinese man from China and also another chinese man but from Malaysia standing at a pond. The chinese man from China was standing there and told the chinese man from Malaysia, that if you skip a rock across the pond it will tell you one of you greatest ancestors. So, the chinese man from China skipped a rock across and the pond said, "Ching-Chang-Chee." The chinese man from China said that it was his great uncle. So the chinese man from Malaysia said, "let me try." So he skipped the rock and the pond said, "Chim-Pan-Zee".

Hahahaha! Yee hoo!

Ah! I dont care liao.
Heres another one..

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's
been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could
forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One
afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines
covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the
area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someoneis home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down
to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a
decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I
could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight."
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You
cannot mess around with my grandaughter."
The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I won't
cause you any trouble. I'll be on my way tommorrow morning."
The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then I'll give
you the three worst chinese torture tests ever known to man."
"Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides, he thought
to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all herlife?
Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he
saw how beautiful the grandaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and
while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many, many months
without companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional monk
besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes off
each other throughout the meal.
That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had quite a
time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to
his room later that night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests
would be worth it after that experience."
Well, the next morning the man awoke to find a heavy weight on his
chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On
the rock was a sign saying "First Chinese torture test: 50 kg rock on
your chest".
"What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up and
walked over to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out.
On the backside of the rock is another sign saying "Second worst Chinese
torture test: Rock tied to RIGHT testicle".
The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps
out the window after the rock. Outside the window is a third sign
saying "Third worst Chinese torture test: LEFT testicle tied to bedpost".

OMG! Wahahahhaha!

where can you found all Malaysian Races( Chinese Malay Indian Punjabi etc)??
Mamak stall..
cuz its cheap, halal, got entertainment ( Astro ) and on the corner..

this one really chinese joke ....

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and
wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they
could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As
they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea
what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and
hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"

The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

---

Added on October 19, 2007, 8:26 am

A mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son haven't shown the
slighted indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her
house. The son came home from work, grudgingly.

Upon arriving, he found out that his mother had gathered a few beautiful
ladies at the house for him to choose whose to be his future bride.

The first one was a well-endowned telephonist-via-receptionist. he
immidiately rejected " Aiyaa... mother, when they answer telephone one, they
always say.... HOLD ON, HOLD ON........."

The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also"Aiyaa...
mother, this one aaa..., when taking down short hand notes from her boss,
always say..SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN...."

By this time, the mother is nearing frustation. She called a sweet, but
plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!! The mother was surprised...
"Why this one? The previous two were a lot more better looking!" He replies
" Teachers  aaa.... while teaching, always say to their pupils...REPEAT,
REPEAT AGAIN...SOME MORE, SOME MORE....!"

Her youngest son, who is 10 years old, was listening quietly all this while
at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted "Brader aaa.....female
bus conductor more better laa....they always say..NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT...
MASUK LAGI DALAM, BELAKANG KOSONG!"

An elderly is sitting on the bench in a park, and not long after, a Chinese Ah Beng  comes by and sat himself next to the old man.

The old man gave the Ah Beng a good look. His hair was dyed in all different colors. Lime green, orange, purple, red and blonde. The old man was obviously amused.

Realising that, the Ah Beng turned around and gave the man a gaze and said "What is it, old fag? Never done something this crazy in your life before, eh?".

To which the old man replies... "Yup, once, I had sex with a parrot."

"And now I'm just wondering if you're my son."