hey guys, im not sure if this is the right place for me to post, please let me know if i should move the topic somewhere else.

anyway, I have a problem, im not sure how long has it been but it is getting worse.

for the past several years, ive been having some suicidal thoughts, very vivid and on some episodes, i would even plan on how it would happen.

but all the suicidal thoughts would only last for at most one day, and the next day I would feel all OK.

but recently, the suicidal thoughts have been occurring more often, and it is getting worse, and it has become abit physical
There are some days that I would literally have to punch walls just to get rid of the thoughts.
everything I see, I would see it as one of the ways I can commit suicide. for example, when im on a balcony, Ill get an urge to jump off it.

The thing is, im scared that one day i might just do it spontaneously.

apart of me does not want to commit suicide, but the other part wants it so bad and lately the idea of committing suicide seems to be a very viable option

I guess what im asking from u guys, is that what can I do and what should I do? I know I should not commit suicide, but I am slowly starting to believe that suicide is a good option.

Just in case u guys need abit more information about me.

26 years old
graduated top of the class
comes from a good functional family
financially doing pretty decent
single
I have no intimacy issues (as far as i know)
working for an MNC company

Things Ive tried:

-Listing all the positive things in my life
-Positive thinking
-picked up a hobby (didnt turned out so well)

you may be depressed. have you seen a doctor about this?

Get a partner in your life. Might help. Please dont go to 14th floor

kinda, went to see a general practitioner because I had food poisoning, but I did ask the doctor about the whole suicidal thoughts, but the doctor said I should not dwell in it. im not sure if my case is severe enough. ive tried doing some research and read some self-help books, but none of it seems to work.
If I were to see a doctor, which doctor should I go.? should I see the GP first, or straight go see a psychologist.?

I have consider that I might be depressed, but I just cant figure out why. everything is going pretty OK in my life, but I still feel like this.

This post has been edited by katoboi88: May 14 2014, 12:54 AM

trying not to. dont worry about 14th floor, because I live on the 18th floor *just a joke*

Do you have fear that you might not be living up to the expectation ? Hence the thoughts ?

Have you tried calling befrienders?

http://www.befrienders.org/directory?country=MY

This post has been edited by ketnave: May 14 2014, 12:55 AM

was having a pretty bad episode about an hour ago, and i called befrienders for the first time but no asnwer, which is why I came here.

Depression is not a state of mind. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

A GP could refer you to a psychologist. You should ask.

How about trying out sports? Swimming, Basketball, Futsal can be good activities that can make use of ur time and maybe make u spend less time thinking about ur suicidal thought.

And also sports makes u more healthy too, it'll drive u mentally to the right path.

I used to play sports, and I had to stop due to injuries, tried again but a different sport, but it only lasted for few months.

Maybe I should go see a doctor.

Then how about sumthin dat requires more brain power. Like picking up Sudoku, Minesweeper. Nowadays android and ios many of these addictive games that needs u to focus and use a lot of ur brain power. Then maybe it'll draw u away from the suicidal thoughts.

ooo. yes. haha. sudoku is good. being doing that for years, but it is only like a temporary relief, thats the problem. I think its time for me end the whole suicidal thoughts for good, just trying to figure how, and what should i do.

Gosh ... sorry to hear that ... well, there are good people here, so stay for a while

Try this game http://gabrielecirulli.github.io/2048/

Fun and easy

judging by ur info, it seems ur life is good. Why the suicidal thought?

Maybe u can search youtube for Nick Vujicic's video for some inspiration on life.

thanks for the positive feedback. as this very moment, Im honestly feeling fine like no suicidal thoughts, im just worried when it comes again, but for the time being, LYN is calming me down.

Keep it that way ... think happy thoughts

that's the thing. Ive been trying to figure out why im having these thoughts. Ive tried listing down all the good things in my life, and I am grateful for all the positive things, but I still feel like this.
one thing I realized is that the negative thoughts come when something bad happens to me. for example, I reach the office late.

This post has been edited by katoboi88: May 14 2014, 01:24 AM

I highly recommend it.

Is it bcoz u are too boring and having too many leisure time not occupied? It's like, you duno what to do during those free time, so ur mind wanders....

Try chatting with ur best friend or colleague or friends. That's what friends are for. Whenever you have the suicidal thought, call ur friend, ask them to go out yamcha. Chit chat with them. And maybe u can open up to them. Tell them about ur suicidal thoughts. Sometimes when u open up and tell what is bugging you, you will actually feel more relax and the burden is like not so heavy dy.

Good luck bro. Life is too short to not enjoy it. Just enjoy life as it is.

Umm ... first and foremost you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Secondly, you really should get professional help. In the mean time, stop thinking about it, if possible.

Just go directly to a psychologist. Make an appointment with one of the psychologist and seek help from them as soon as possible. just try not to be alone. Ask someone to keep you company no matter what you do. Join meetup.com for activities like hiking or jalan-jalan.
you can also try chatting website like badoo or okc if you don't have much time going out with friends or family.

well i would say i have same thoughts as u..suicidal thoughts..there time i plan out suicides...but not to the point of doing it....there could be reason behind it..feeling bored out....perhaps feeling abit alone (not because of having no frens or not it juz the thoughts u cant brush off when u have no one suitable to talk to)

though i tend to have evil thoughts (like killing someone or what not of it...seriously) try to find someone who u can talk to, find some activity to keep u occupied...then thought should slowly go away...though i m still having it occasionally..and oh go for a holiday somewhere....

and the thought "life is too short not enjoy it" or "why take easiest way out but not try to do what u can on your short life?" sorta keep me awake ...

Find a soul mate , and talk to him/her personally face to face

It will sort out most of your emotional stress you're having

Look at it this way. There are people working 16 hours a day for 5 dollars. That 5 dollars they buy petty food just enough to live on. They're struggling to live their lives. You have a roof above your head, you should cherish what you have; what others will never ever have.

Think about it. People born without any limbs, they live on. You're a functional individual.

Don't take life seriously, go have some fun. I would suggest you to go on a holiday.

And btw, what are your friends like?

ah i know this feeling

you can try asking strangers for help but after a while it wont do squat

the mundane routine, pressure n added stress makes u feel like suicide feels like a better option than suffering all of this

the remedy is quite easy actually, u need to take a break from yourself.

break off from the stressful cycle of ur life and do something else. Try new stuffs, get away from ur parents if they r one of the cause.

its just the high n low of our life, being at the really low end really do that to u i guess.

Life is an adventure, dont let other people or system take control of it. be brave and jump out of the norm and start something fresh.

Seriously, the older i get, the more exposed i am. i found out that there so much i want to do but not enough time to do it.

And you are only 26 n think u have already hit the dead end? learn to climb over the wall in your mind and jump to the other side.



Fark the colleague, fark the parents, fark the boss, fark obligations n FARK society!!! My life is my own n i will do whatever i want so i am happy by being myself.

Where r u from ? Pg or KL . If penang , go to Lam Wah Eee . Got people who can help

Do you feel:

1. Things you previously found enjoyable to be nothing of sorts?
2. Feel sad or empty?

Do you notice having any of these symptoms?
1. Sleep too much or insomnia
2. Gain or loss weight?
3. Anxious or depressed
4. Fatigue or tired
5. Loss of concentration to perform your daily activity?
6. Feeling guilty or worthless?
7. Suicidal ideas/thoughts/plan

If you do have 5 or more of those symptoms almost everyday for at least 2 weeks then do go to GP asap

Thinking suicidal thoughts is not uncommon (trust me you're not the only one TS), but its not a normal way of thinking either. There's actually a term for it which is 'suicidal ideation'.

If the urges are getting stronger or you feel you have difficulty coping, then should really follow fellow lowyat's advice to see a doctor/psychologist.. and from there having loving family and friend support really helps. Mentally supports and hope TS will be able to find own ways to cope. If TS needs a listener, my inbox is open

Live life to the fullest, wish you all the best bro

You are doing pretty well. You just need to surround yourself with the right people so that your thoughts will not be distracted by what you are thinking now.

Besides, did you find out the cause for your reason of such thinking ?
Must be something that prompt unless you said that it is "within" you .. Lol

Fill your life with more activities...sports, charity work etc.

Please go see a professional psychologist. There are psychologists in most hospitals these days, private or government.

I've read the comments in the thread and some of them have pretty much answered your queries. Do you exhibit symptoms of Depression disorders or have you seen any Psychologists? More importantly, when you think about suicidal thoughts, were they vividly shown as in how you would commit suicide. If so, chances are you should seek psychological assistance immediately. I'm not gonna go in to the symptoms but I know a few psychologists who might be able to help you. Just feel free to ask me and I'll get back to you ASAP, but know that consulting doctors for the time being isn't your best option. I'm glad you shared your problems.

I would like to know why the thoughts came up in the first place?

If it can be solved without the need to see a psychiatrist, then solve that first.

Eg. Some may not be happy with the current workplace, hence the depression. In that case, quit the organization.

Hmm... on the balcony u got the urge to jump down, how about when u saw a knife? Do u have the same urge u want to cut your vein ?

Exercise, help some random strangers, smile and greet random people. Tried and tested. Helps a lot

Only cowards go for the quick exit. You ain't no coward my friend. You bravely choose to address it here.



life is only once. dont let it go waste

They say that an idle mind is the devils workshop.
These suicidal thots normally come when you are not otherwise occupied right?

May I suggest you offer your free time and service to a cause you deem worthy.

It may be anything from an orphanage, oldfolks home, refugee centre or even an NGO you like.

Maybe it will help you find purpose in life and reduce your suicidal thots.

dude.... u should tell someone close to u bout ur condition... atleast they can help you if they feel something is not right w u

I agree. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. TS has no reason whatsoever to do such a thing as his life is going pretty well. You must consult a psychiatrist. It doesn't mean only mad people see psychiatrists. Medication could help to correct the chemical imbalance. You must do something bcs according to a very experienced sinseh he said depression caused women to end up with cancers and men go mad.

For me, the thought appeared when I'm not occupied with anything, when my mind wandering around. I just keep myself busy to reduce the thought.

get a leave from the company !! go holiday chat with some girl... drink some beers !! I don really know how but consult and believe in the name of your god..loving will protect you !! talk to your relative or parent

your life pretty much better than me and most of us..be appreciate and grateful !! bro !!

sounds like you're living a really really boring life. get out of your comfort zone. do crazy stuff like camping alone in a jungle for a month or volunteer for reserve army. put yourself in danger. get in situations where you have to fight in order to survive. let external threat kick start your survival instinct to remind you that for some reason, you have to live. challenge yourself.

Your self description describes most of the okay things. What about the not okay things? Anything troubling you?

Dear TS, hope all's well with you.

It's good that you are aware and is actively seeking help regarding your state of mind.

Depression have different effects on people, some can stand it, others cant. Looking at your post, I cant infer much, but perhaps you are lacking the sense of achievement / appreciation in what you do, and that can take a toll on someone. Maybe by surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people will help u have a sense of belonging / achievement and make you feel happier and more content.

If all else fails, I would highly recommend that you seek a qualified professional to help u in this matter.

Personally speaking, I've had some friends who were suffering in similar ways like you, they can't quite pinpoint whats bothering them but its always there at the back of their minds. But one thing I can see is that they delayed getting their treatment, and when they finally do, you can really see a visible change in their life/outlook to things.

Hope this helps, have a good Monday afternoon!

why not find a psyhiatric?

or maybe tell your parent

maybe you depress

maybe you lack of sleep? i heard lack of sleep can lead to sucide

I would start with, saying, go and see a psychiatrist. Calling Befrienders (03-79568144 or 03-79568145) in the interim would be helpful as well. I know your call was not answered, but try again later or tomorrow.

My opinion:-
It seems, that you are missing something in life. Likelihood, a partner to share your thoughts and feelings. Someone to talk to and cry on.

Since you have pretty much; fulfilled other part of life, money, education, etc.

Whenever the thought comes, just think of other worse depressed individual with even greater hardship. If they can overcome the suicide thought and work thru it....you could as well...you are a better person...remember that.

Dont want to nag too long...take care mate...cheers.

Yup, it's a disease and not easy to be cure. Doc will prescribe anti-depression medicine for the patients.

Good luck TS. I heard sun bath will help a little.

Didn't read through all the comments. Anyway...

First thing u must know and always remember, we are all generally very fortunate to live in the society free of war and suffering all time, so we should be appreciate more than most majority in this world.
Secondly, I gone through the same thing, still having some nowadays but at least i consider it control-able.

Not sure about chemical reaction or hormones in the body or brain,
it is always best to seek consultation from counselor or psychologist but understandable that most people don't, even for myself.

Since u have the thinking to overcome it, and i assume no one around u knew about this, I guess the main method u can depend on is self help.

How: Basically, negative thoughts rise only when we are alone or when we have the time to let our thinking roam free. So u need to eliminate the spaces for ur brain to go wild. To do that, keep looking for friends and good people that speak interesting stuff, or join a community to perform some beneficial stuff like volunteer to help people, even if u feel lazy or dont feel like doing it, u have to force urself. Because its a battle between ur will and ur brain.
If u doesn't have a lover, look for one if u feel like u are lonely or need someone really close with u. But bear in mind that don't look for one just because u wan to fill ur emptiness, make sure u ready to commit into r/s and work out. Although this is not recommended since u having this negative thoughts in u now. Still, depends on ur will.

Not sure what u mean by doesn't work out when u pick a hobby. Perhaps u wan to let me know more.
Try out a balanced life, in the sense of working hard and play hard.
Since u are a working adult, u should find time to play.
Games or anything that make u feel fun and its wasting time. Yes its wasting time but it definitely beneficial to ur pleasure and enjoy.

Finally, don't keep urself in the environment where ur brain will keep going wild. You have to go outside and mix with people who said interesting stuff

yep,i agreed with frontierzone - how about those not-okay-things. Eg. low self esteem issues? your own physical looks,many times hampers ones confidence,eg. like going bald(especially for men)can makes ones feels unconfident to go out and socialize. at times its bipolar and mood swing problems. if you got killed in the battlefield against terrorist or talibans,at least you died as a hero and the country's flag would be drap on your casket but to commit suicide is indeed far more sad and very painfull for your loves one who are still alive and have to pick up the peices and move on - thats the most painfull. when any one kill themselves,the pain is just very short for him/her but the pain endures by their loves ones can continues years after years - and that you call it grieving. my sis took her own life 2 years ago and at times,...its still quite fresh in my mind. its painfull,...very painfull. so dont do it and stop thinking of doing it and start anew with your life. you just got one shot at your life so try make it good - TRY.

Are you perhaps an atheist?
Might give a tried to believed in god, may the void in your heart be fullfilled with god loves.

If possible, find a girlfriend or a mate that you can talk to.. Like you can spend your time on computer and find people to talk to about your life.. from your information you got nothing to worry about.. money no proble, family no problem and is a top student...is it you're too stress about studies? I have a friend used to suffer from depression because she got no friends to talk to and the reason is because she's a bookworm.. try to socialize and make your life happier... you can take sometime to travel oversea alone or with friend.. find someone who can accompany you, go take a look around the world.. suicidal is not a good idea .. go some country that you wish to visit.. and look at other's people life.. example, go africa and visit the poor child, try to communicate and understand them.. they are fighting to live so dont waste your life. Get your suicidal thoughts away from yourself.. always remember there are so many things in this world you never know about.. Give yourself sometime.. if you still have the suicidal thoughts, please don't afraid of it.. if you dont want to see a doctor then try to communicate with people around you.. dont care what people say bad about you.. try to be someone that appreciate their life because there are people who fighting for their life every second from the moment u read this comment. i'm 17 and i used to have it, and to be honest i've tried it. I almost died but i survived , i never really see hell but i know i regretted doing it. You have money, go travel. You have time, Go use it wisely, do things you want.. you can find me and talk to 0178834613 anytime

Suicide thoughts happens to many of us than we care to admit. But this option is not cool, if u do have such plan why not give yourself more options on top of it

- go to poor stricken country and help; join an organisation that does this and apply for it. Do until u die.
- become am soldier and aggressively ask for active duty
- sorry no more ideas....

Yes. Go see a doc. Depression, suicidal thoughts is same as flu, fever. Left untreated, it can worsen. For now stay here. Talk to close friends to share this. Go to church/temple for communion if you have such faith.

Hang in there. You r not alone. When you hate yourself for being late, am sure you have this voice inside, angrily speaks to u. Now try changing this into a sexy woman's voice, talking to u in the sexiest way ever.

Try meditation, keep an open mind. Coz hey, what have u got to lose, right?

EDIT: wanna add more. Do u know that depressions, etc tend to b some kind of turning point for a person. Emotionally inside it is struggling to grow, to become better. If u do read, try books like THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED, or THE GIANT WITHIN by Anthony Robbins See which approach u like best. The first is very logical and spiritual, the latter is more scientific, technique based. It tends to give you immediate positive effect when you follow through on the suggested methods.

Hope this helps.

This post has been edited by satrianeo-x: May 22 2014, 08:19 PM

Ts come seek advice frm k?

Sure u will depress more

Stop being a *****

OK I don't want to hijack the thread any more. We can discuss about the Philosophy of suicide on another forum. I wish you the best katoboii88!

Get a gf.

bro this is depression

i had it for a while

pass by a doctor

I believe you have either :

Suicidal ideation, or

Suicidal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (SOCD)


You should see a psychiatrist, or psychologist.. The GP who simply told you
not to ''dwell on it'' is naive and knows little about the complex psychology of suicide.

Preferable see one who is trained in hypnosis. Dr Cheah Wing Yin in Sunway
Medical Center is one.


Suicidal ideation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation



People with OCD are at high risk of suicide.


Suicidal behavior in obsessive-compulsive disorder.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18052568



Suicide often not preceded by warnings.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/suicide...gs-201209245331



Suicide Obsessions: Fear of Killing/Harming Yourself.

http://www.steveseay.com/suicide-obsession...lling-yourself/




Some drugs, or sudden withdrawal from, particularly the SSRIs, can
also trigger off spontaneous suicide or suicidal thoughts.

Have you been on any of these drugs , such as Prozac, Zoloft or Effexor ?

Effexor, being an SNRI and blocks both serotonin and noradrenaline, is
in particular associated with a high risk of suicide on sudden withdrawal.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venlafaxine#Suicide

yeah, TS may not be revealing what maybe troubling him.

Although I never have suicidal thoughts, but I read with great interest in this topic and would like to share some of my thoughts.

Firstly, it is possible TS have a medical condition that can be treated with drugs.

Secondly, I think relationships with friends and family play an very important role in a person's life in their motivation to live/die. How much other people care for and interact with the person and how much the person care for and interact with others will determine his outlook in life. That's why even TS mentioned that he felt better after interacting with those that responded to this tread. Although we are strangers, he may feel that there are people who cared enough to interact with him to encourage him not to commit suicide. Most of us work and do things not only for ourselves but also for our spouse/family and children. Our goal in life is to make people we care for be happy and in turn are happy when others does the same for us too. If this is missing, some people may feel an emptiness in life. People who do not feel appreciated are usually unhappy and unmotivated.
The reason some people may not have strong relationships or any relationships with others maybe because they lack social aptness but yet strongly desire social acceptance and this will cause unhappiness in them and may cause them to want to commit suicide.(or worse... going on a killing rampage before taking their own life)

Thirdly, it is also possible TS may have a psychological problem that maybe can be solved by understanding how TS see himself and the world. I find most people who commit suicide is because they cannot accept certain things in their life or that has happened in their. And this is usually tied to their expectations of an issue or multiple of issues or life in general. Acceptance is the key. A person not being able to accept what they have no control over eg how they look/their body shape is just setting themselves up for unhappiness. In terms of things we may have some control, we may try our best to achieve whatever we want/desire but if it doesn't turn out to be what we expect, acceptance must come in. Being able to move on is just as important.
Life is not perfect nor it is fair. Never has been and never will be. ACCEPT THAT. In life, shit happens and often we do not get to choose how we want things to turn out. But we can always try our best and be persistent. But if it doesn't happen, ACCEPT IT. Failure is part of life just as success is.

Lastly, I would like to ask TS wheather did he ask himself WHY does he think of suicide thoughts. And also ask himself WHY he may want to live until he is old. Does TS not have any goals/wishes in his life that he may want to achieve but has yet to?

We are all going to die anyway. To the suicidal person, he may say, why not sooner? But also, why not later? To me, at the very least, to indulge in life's little pleasures until your body cannot take it anymore.

At some point there's no harm at all to seek for professional help. The glance felling or dark whispering to suggest such multiple method of things that not suppose to do will pop up anytime, especially once you alone or not tied up with proper activities. Just have a good diversion and focus for what you do best.

Get social moderately and don't put too high expectation on others.
Filling your live with proper mix between routine daily task and good leisure.
Write down positive note and cherish with that. It's Ok to 'syok sendiri' sometime.
Feel free to have personal research toward certain psychology story, understanding the scenario and symptoms as well the way people tackle it. Just don't drag yourself toward mixed and match the findings that consequently reflecting yourself; just appreciate and enjoy of knowing things.

Just checking in, TS, you havent responded in the thread for a while now.

Hope all's well.

Yeah, suicide or whether it is self-immolation will never help other/society - it will just prone the mental-instability to copy cat. Protester/activist can help the society by trying hard to create awareness, to deter depressed people from taking "shortcuts" or forced-shut-down.

i got respect for this guy here : Matthew Silver is real good artist - makes you laugh and thats good karma all the way..
check it out : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0gjkRkl4z4

That is the answer to your question.
Depression is a serious issue and many people do not understand the consequences of this issue,At least in msia.
Psychologist is the one person that can help you but you should seek out to meet 3- or 4 of them.

That will give a better idea to your problem.