PWNed

Why dont cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

OMG I love this one.

hahaha..this 1 is good..lolz

Positive thinking is like this : A little bird in the sky... U look up and it shits in your eye... U don't mind and U dont cry... U just thank GOD that cows dont fly

Proudly bring to you by the 3 Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took
their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big bowl of oatmeal," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table
and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.


"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why
have you only ordered
beer all evening?"

The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee,
all the way home!"

This post has been edited by Winfeel: Aug 25 2006, 08:30 PM

??... 404 funny not found

Q: what's the difference between enzymes and hormones?

A: you can't hear enzymes

u can hear hormones ???

Can't get this one...

is it because ppl say "it's just the hormones talking?"

Car will find its way before its reach the hill

A woodsman and his wife live in a small village.Every morning,the woodsman went out to cut a tree,while he finished his work till late evening,his wife always cooked him a hot soap and delicious food waiting for him.

One day,the woodsman took an early dismissal,from outside window ,he incidentally saw his wife with a restaurant's boss was making love When he opened the door,he clearly heard the sound coming out from the cabinet.The woodsman used to be a humour and quite person.He straight away told his wife that he found their room cabinet has something strange but very valuable thing (Signs is refer to the restaurant's boss).

In order to proof that he is absolutely right,he then locked the cabinet,quickily brought it over to the restaurant's counter.He demanded restaurant's manager for USD 50,000.00 for the sale of the cabinet and valuable thing inside the cabinet.

And then the woodsman went out and walking in front of the restautant with his hand smoking,patiently let the manager have more time of considering the deal.
At this moment.he also heard the voice out from that cabinet,the restaurant's boss(hard to breath) was screaming,instructed the manager to pay the money in order for him to be abled to come out from the cabinet.

So,what do u think about the woodsman?

This post has been edited by Winfeel: Aug 29 2006, 06:16 PM

Wee =Urinate or Kencing !

so what so funny about that.

Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.

Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

NFL Blackout virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal that's more than 75 miles away.

Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the authorities.

Bill Clinton virus: Won't let you query the system for information.

Rush Limbaugh virus: Biases everything to the right.

Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interregation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.

Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to really do much of anything.

Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.

Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

George Michael virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.

Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really enjoying it.

David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.

Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.

X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.

Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Erotic is when you use a feather. Exotic is when you use the whole chicken.

i think it should be SOUP. no one could drink soap, whether is it hot or cold..

Winfeel is definitely not a funny person

Confusing Chinese Names

> > Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
> >
> > Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
> >
> > Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
> >
> > Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
> >
> > Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
> >
> > Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
> >
> > Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
> >
> > Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
> >
> > Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
> >
> > Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
> >
> > Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.