>> >>Never try to fool an old lady!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
>> >>
>> >>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Oh, I see.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: Can I see your license please?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: Don't have one?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: I see...Can I see
>>your vehicle
>> >>registration papers please.
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: I can't do that.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: Why not?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: I stole this car.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: Stole it?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>> >>
>> >>Officer: You what?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk
>>if
>> >>you want to see.
>> >>
>> >>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car
>>and
>> >>calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
>>A
>> >>senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half
>>drawn
>> >>gun.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2:
>> Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The
>> >>woman steps out of her vehicle.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
>>this
>> >>car and murdered the owner.
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
>> >>please.
>> >>
>> >>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The
>>officer
>> >>is quite stunned.
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2: One of
>> >>my officers claims
>>that you do not have a driving license.
>> >>
>> >>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
>> >>hands it to the officer.
>> >>
>> >>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
>> >>
>> >>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you
>>didn't
>> >>have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered
>>and
>> >>hacked up the owner.
>> >>
>> >>Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>MORAL:
>> >>
>> >>Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
>> >>
>> >>

Confusing Chinese Names

> > Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
> >
> > Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
> >
> > Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
> >
> > Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
> >
> > Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
> >
> > Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
> >
> > Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
> >
> > Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
> >
> > Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
> >
> > Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
> >
> > Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

> > A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when
> >he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to
> >the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his
> >car.
> >
> >The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over
> >here for a minute."
> >
> >The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The
> >mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked
> >argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves
> >out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new
> >one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me are doing basically
> >the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ...
> >
> >What did he say ???
> >
> >Guess ..................................................
> >
> >
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> >
> > Try doing it when the engine is running... hehehe