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 Some jokes I've got from forward email ..., Maybe you've read before

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rinsedpie
post Dec 13 2017, 06:29 PM

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QUOTE(terion @ Oct 24 2017, 10:45 PM)
i think in the current situation, ur right!  nod.gif
*
ditto biggrin.gif
any new jokes in here
besthanj
post Mar 24 2018, 06:19 PM

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A joke i got from WhatsApp
~~~

A girl was driving when she saw d flash of a traffic camera. She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.

Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed. She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail's Pace.
.
.
.
.
.

Two weeks later, she got five tickets for driving without a seat belt ... !!!

Women !!! Women !!! Women !!!😀😎😊
juliantkp
post Aug 31 2019, 01:58 PM

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'Auto return' features from drone that can kills hahahaha biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

http://aerospacequest.com/2019/08/27/auto-...t-owner-killed/

http://aerospacequest.com/wp-content/uploa...e-3-960x640.jpg
http://aerospacequest.com/wp-content/uploa.../08/Snap4-1.jpg

user posted image

user posted image

This post has been edited by juliantkp: Aug 31 2019, 02:00 PM
SUSTheOnly1
post Sep 6 2019, 08:34 AM

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QUOTE(terion @ Jun 11 2003, 09:42 AM)
I just got this today :

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing
for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh
day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a
deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds "Look Michael, look what I have made." Said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God' "and I've put life on it, I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth, while South America is going to be poor. The Middle East over
there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've
placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of
black people." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one
will be extremely hot and this one extremely cold, and this one covered
in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a
small land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's
Malaysia, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes,
rivers, streams and hills. The people from Malaysia are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling
the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high
achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE! So if Malaysians are going
to be that great, you must've created some really corny people to balance them out"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm
putting right next to them. They're called Singaporeans!!"

laugh.gif

no hard feelings for our southern neighbours  notworthy.gif its just a joke
*
Doesn't even make sense
terion
post Sep 6 2019, 11:28 AM

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QUOTE(TheOnly1 @ Sep 6 2019, 08:34 AM)
Doesn't even make sense
*
hence its called a joke
Misscarcosa P
post Oct 15 2019, 01:01 AM

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Hahaha haha
kelly0020
post Dec 2 2019, 12:20 PM

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lollll 🤣
vignesh77
post Feb 24 2020, 03:21 PM

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From: Subang jaya
FunNy LiNeS

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.


2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.


3... Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!


4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.


5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.


6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.


7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.


8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.


9. True friends stab you in the front.


10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.


11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.


12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.


13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.


14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.


15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.


16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.


17.. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.


18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.


19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.


20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
rinsedpie
post Mar 4 2020, 04:40 AM

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oh man i got like hundreds up to last year but changed my phone
damn
pilotjun P
post Apr 22 2020, 01:53 PM

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Lol i love this thread, some really old classic ones i read a long time ago are here hahahaah
amanda0020
post Apr 24 2020, 11:17 AM

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lolll~
Byull6 P
post Jul 12 2020, 06:53 PM

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QUOTE(ah_Keng @ Jun 11 2003, 09:57 AM)
Thanks for the laughter.

*Go dig out some old jokes....*
*
Me too

daisiesdontdoit92
post Jun 23 2022, 12:24 AM

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https://www.zdnet.com/article/how-do-i-keep...ions-ask-zdnet/
How can I keep junk email out of my inbox without juggling two or more email accounts?
CaesarX234 P
post Jan 27 2023, 08:32 PM

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QUOTE(whoami123 @ Jun 10 2003, 03:33 PM)
Some old joke:

There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed somehow to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store.......... so what did she do?

??

??

??

??

??

??

??

What are you thinking?

??

??

??

??

??

??

??

HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English!!
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CaesarX234 P
post Jan 27 2023, 08:34 PM

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QUOTE(terion @ Jun 11 2003, 10:02 AM)
Definitely not a singaporean...haha  laugh.gif
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Hahahahaha for sure
businessletter P
post Mar 19 2023, 04:14 PM

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Thanks for sharing
wshuliong P
post Mar 28 2023, 11:55 AM

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love this thread lollll

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