so if you don't care to know what the topic of argument is, why did you bother posting and make yourself look like an idiot?

Like I Care.

Nerd Girls. 

Stop trolling please 

Its actually kinda rude to turn an already overcrowded thread into a chat thread. SEriously, troll the lesser used ones.

Yeah that's the usual excuse after being humiliated.

A job is merely a means to an end. We work because we have to. Bigger picture - success- recognition - sense of achievement. How many actually get paid to do what they love? A very small percentile. In general, we all work to survive. Sometimes, it is a struggle. You are one of the lucky few to have a husband that can and willingly pays for everything. Not everyone is as fortunate. Yes, it may be because men are 'defective'. Women work to help us men out and you know what?

Fully agree

Some women actually enjoy it. Some women enjoy standing side by side with their men, striving for a better future together. They work towards saving for a holiday, a house, a car, anything that they can share and while the destination is the same, sometimes the journey does matter. Just on the other thread, you saw a poster relate how his wife stood by him when he was down financially and how they came through it together. With my gf, we plan holidays all the time and save for it.

Fully agree

Yes, we may end up having jobs we don't like, women included but when your efforts are rewarded through holidays, etc, it becomes worthwhile.
Fully agree

I'm not sure where you get your statistics from, because I can't conclusively say that only a small number of women hope to be in high positions. I won't discount that you talk to your friends about this topic but you have to realise that often, people of a similar mindset hang out together.
vice versa, you probably works in corp (I'm assuming) hence you mix with the level of people in the corp never ending struggle, people with tie and woman in power suit. But you're also looking at things at your level only, try to go out in the street and see what are the jobs offered in the real world.

Look at jusco (coz thats my fav hangout ) what are the position there available, how many cashiers?
40 people? how many promoters/sales 40? waitress? 20? how many managers?3 how many supervisor? 10?
so how many girls working just to survive, and how many are actually working and hope one day she hope to reach manager level?
the odds are 40:1?
how many are career driven? how many doesnt even care? they work just to eat?

Look at clinic or lawyer off or architect firm
1 boss, 1 accounts clerk, 1 data entree, 2 clerk/typist, 1 cleaning lady, how many work to survive?
5:1

Clininc, 1 doc, 3 nurses, 1 cleaner
4:1

hence I say majority of the girls work to survive only a small handful work with a high goal set in their mind.

I'm not saying there is none, we're duscussing what drives this woman to work in general.


All I know is many of the girls I know actually excell in their jobs. They may not like to work, but the end result makes up for it. Shopping, holidays, etc is reward enough.

You say I ignore your explanation on the working women. Well while you may discount my claim that a lot of women today want careers, you cannot discount that more and more women are successful. Believe me, the numbers will continue to spike. I don't like to make assumptions but I think this is a really safe one.

I agree more and more woman are very career minded, I know one of them, Melissa of Leonard drake, I know her personally, she lives in tropicana with her big house.

But look at the amount of staff she has, how many clerks, how many therapist, how many sales/marketing, how many promoters?
300:1?

You see every CEO will be 300:1
every manager 30:1
No matter how you stack this up, they will be more labor than boss.

I'm sure all women want men to take care of them. Those I know want that but for different reasons than you think. They want the oppportunity to pursue their interests e.g. opening a boutique, beauty centre, etc. For this, it always helps to have a stable income in the event your business doesn't take off. Most women I know today do not enjoy being idle.

I duno if its safe for me to assume this, not many woman bosses made it entirely from their own. Most cases either from hubby or family s rich. Rich people know rich people the get more connection and more business, of coz you need the ability to run the biz, but then the odds of success if higher.

If my father is a Tan sri, I can loan money from him to open lets say a grocery store (since I'm simply minded and always shop at one), I just shout to the world who my father is, I'm sure plenty would come and consign thier stuff to me coz they dun have to trust me, they trust who my father is. See how the advantage increased?

be amazed. Everyone who posts here wasted their time talking to you and it is obvious you do not want to accept any opinions but your own. Suit yourself.

A lot of women today are contributing more and more to society.  They are doing this because they choose to.  Not because they have to. 

Look at the amount of factory workers, look at all the cashier in so many hyper market, look at all the tollboth collector, look at all the nurses, are they driven with career in mind or working to eat?

Majority of the people work to eat, only a handful work because they want to aim high


I work around alot of women. They may not be as competative as men are.  But they play a very important role in an organization.  They are good team players, communicate openly and are more diplomatic than guys are. 

Woman not competitive as man? depends on where you working

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be a full time housewife..  But please do not make false assumption of what drives these women.  You need to increase your social circle.. We are not living in the 50's and 60's anymore. Women of today are more driven and empowered.  Your choices in life may be good enough for you, but it may not be enough for everyone else. 

I did increase my social circle, it is you who shut your eyes on the real world, look around, I'm sure you shop at Midvalley, go take a look at jusco and carefour

My little sister always wanted to be a nurse since she was a kid.  If she marry a wealthy man, do you think she will let go of her dreams? Off course not!  So please, do not degrade the entire female species.

You call people who dream about having children and fulltime mother degrading?

Moorish, thanks for sharing. I can conclusively say that most of us would have struggled if we were in your position and I do not think you have any reason to feel bad. You did more than a lot of people would but we all just have to accept that sometimes, we can never do enough. I cannot say that I would have been as strong as you.

I understand more than ever why you think money is crucial, I've always agreed that it is. I know the cost of medical care these days for I was in insurance for 3 years. If anything I thought that this experience would drive you to wanting a good career so that you need not rely on anyone else. You are now married to someone who can provide in the event of similar occurences but if you ask me, the only person we can really trust and rely upon is ourselves.

Let's look at a hypothetical situation. Woman who has no means of supporting herself has a sick father. Husband is able to cover the medical costs. Now, you said yourself that you felt like giving up on him so many times, and he was your own father. How much do you reckon someone who isn't even related to him can take? At some point, it will become too much of a burden even for him. I'm not suggesting all men are like that but why leave it to chance?

Situations like yours affect us in different ways. I would have thought the natural response would be to make your own money so you needn't rely on someone else. Maybe your response was to want to take care of your kid, in the way you took care of your dad. Maybe you feel you need to make up for something. Neither is right, and neither is wrong. In the end, we are all motivated to do things by different reasons. You've shared yours.

Once again, thanks for sharing. I'm truly sorry to hear about what you had to go through. Also, I don't think you need to feel bad about your dad. You did everything you could as far as I'm concerned.

Firstly, your effort in taking care of ur family is commendable. Sorry for your lost but seriously whats dat got to do with anything apart from u had a very bad experince choosing the worse man any girl could ever find.

That was for 2 person that question me about making promises, they think promises are like snap of a finger, it takes less than 10 sec to make a promise, but it may take you 7 years or more to keep it. And I think its not easy to keep your promises. hence the example, and also the difficulties in money when you're way way down in your life.


The guys a thug, the guy makes money doing illegal things and u wonder why he cant support u monetary. Even so, makes it seem as if the fella doesnt even help u out or give u the support in trying times. That man is more than a bum. He is utterly useless. Everyone has their set of challenges in life. Doesn't mean it's right to judge guys without money = phail.

I dun look down on the poor, I've more poor frens than rich frens, I come form the poor but I do look down on bums coz I've been with one. I only say I wanna choose a rich husband.


People have dreams and goals, most cases dreams and goals more often than not require some form of financing (Start ur own boutique store, start a games development studio, help in welfare groups, donate millions to a worthy cause, learn a language, play an active part in making healthcare work for u in Malaysia, even starting a loving and peaceful family etc). Dat in a sense makes money more an enabler. Nothing to do with being materialistic, nothing to do with the fear of not having enuff money. Dat is why i detest ppl who when i ask whats ur goal in life and the answer to be rich and have lots of money. This ppl often doesnt kno wat they truly want in life. When u have a dream or goal which u feel strongly about, u have drive and passion. And when u have drive and passion u will not let anything get in the way of that no matter how difficult the challenges are. Money is not a strong driver...for me at least.

As you mention everyone has a dream, I've a dream to have a loving home, to be a fulltime mother to my baby, a good wife to my husband, and this unfortunately cost money, hence I need to look for a partner who share the same dream, (of coz someone who can also afford such dreams) to make it real, agree?


Something to ponder. For guys, dun you ever get ppl saying, make ur money first then the girls will come to you? My question would be. Why would i want a girl like dat?

For girls, when dating a guy never ever try to check how much money the guy is worth. It its a major turn off. Though an interesting fact, most working adults and even families are worth negative as most in some form or the other owe more than the generated household income. SO girls, kno that when a guy has a car or a house, it neve truly is theirs. Is the bank's and they're trying to pay up everything they owe to the bank.

Plenty of guys are doing it....beats me

After 90+ pages, one would think that she would be open to POSIIBILITY that her paradigm are flawed. 

What happen instead was she "editted" her first post.. Ignore relevant points by others. She focuses on some negative feedbacks and take it personally.
I have to admit, some of the responses here are abit immature and uncalled for.. but she need to know that people are generally here to "help". 
You could only help people so much.  Changing core beliefs is really hard.  One must be courageous and willing.  If one is not willing, no amount of convincing would be enough. 

You dont need to be feel insecure about money minded woman as long an you are holding your major money and Asset under your name. There is always a limit of expenses when dating, a woman that comments, turn off because you are not spending enough for them, imo they are only making they blow off they chance of getting a nice guy like you.

To be honest, it is more costly for them to spend 20years trying to impress you, making you happy, cheat your money but end up if you are holding you money tight, you will always win and walk away and restart get a new relationship.

Generous does not have to be = sharing asset/money to gain "trust". Trust comes from trusting someone ability to take care of you if you are down.

look back to your ancestors, you'll know if something is working for them, it will work for you too. 

So just date whatever woman that you think it is attractive to you. Dont worry you will find one.

not untill you experiences it yourself mate, it's really tough especially when they are still young

plus that's how evil mind works for everyone, they'll attack when we are at a vulnerable state, don't tell me you are all saints to yourself in whatever you do

it started to make sense now after hearing this and the story you tell before about your bum bf, i feel that you have been misguided by money, it then turn out the be your biggest insecurity in your life, hence the reason why you want to find a rich hushband

you want to solve problems with money, or perhaps preventing it from happening, it's actually not wrong to think that way, but to me, life is not about preventing problems to happen, but is to be prepare when problem arise, how to prepare you ask ? collecting lots of money ? lol no of course, but our attitude and mentality itself that when we fall, we can rise up again with our own two feet, see ? money it's not even involve in it, hence money is not even the biggest problem solver but our character itself

and that's the character that girl wish to choose compare to money in a person

lol oh really? you keep saying I said something in that statement that I didn't say. Not upset? Puhleese, you're at least peeved

If you re-read the post, I did not refer to a woman that is looking for a reliable man as her soulmate. I was referring to those who sole only purpose is to get a man and be lazy, spend their whole life enjoying, dumping the full responsibility of being a mother. Thought the number of these women are still minority, but it seems getting more common in the new generation.

If I'm to get mad at you, that would be only for a single reason: you didn't read my posts before flaming.

I remeber you are the one who asked moorish to be humble, look at your words, when I was asking if you did read my posts before posting, you didn't answer. Why? Dare not admit? You instead tease me the way I used "facepalm". Do you think you are eligible to ask other to be humble?

You are not eligible to "help" me to see that I'm having wrong mindset when you yourself don't actually look at what you have done wrongly.

I don't think you know what is life all about.

Moorish.

...has your husband asked you if he is your ACTUAL soul mate yet?

Maybe not now.

Around 40 years old perhaps.

Oh yeah, don't forget to lie to your grandchildren that you didn't marry your husband for being your TRUE ONE.

If I'm to get mad at you, that would be only for a single reason: you didn't read my posts before flaming.

I remeber you are the one who asked moorish to be humble, look at your words, when I was asking if you did read my posts before posting, you didn't answer. Why? Dare not admit? You instead tease me the way I used "facepalm". Do you think you are eligible to ask other to be humble?

You are not eligible to "help" me to see that I'm having wrong mindset when you yourself don't actually look at what you have done wrongly.

I don't think you know what is life all about.

moorish: just because your marriage has lasted doesn't mean that true love and soulmate aren't the same thing.

AND debbie was talking to me about that, not you.