I see your point.. a positive, self motivated man is what you looking for.

In order to live a fulfilling life you have to take action..visualize, ask for Gods abundance, plan and be courageous enough to seek what you want..despite what other say. You have to work for what it is that you want in this life. Very few follow this path..most people go through life taking what's "given" to them. They dont aim for success. They dont achieve their full potential. The side effect of people that aim for success is that EVENTUALLY they too will be wealthy.. not only spiritually but also financially.

The problem with your paradigm is that, not all wealthy men are matured, ambitious and positive.

A guy could have all the money in the world.. He could easily provide for his children and wife. But..what IF he is a drug dealer? What if he makes money from other people misery? What if he inherited his richest from his billionaire dad? What if this rich guy have some issues? Would you be willing to marry this guy? Would your morals and conscious accept him? Does SECURITY means that much to you?

Security is important. Yes everyone needs security / certainty. But its not all there is a relationship. I trust women of today should be above this. They should aim for a fulfilling life.. aim for what they want in life. Not just stand there by their man.. and watch as her dreams pass her by. If you want a positive, self motivated and successful guy.. you yourself must be willing to reach the same heights as your partner.

This post has been edited by myvi5949: Oct 8 2009, 08:17 PM

Debbieyss: You installed in your mind a false belief. You believe that a man without financial status is unworthy of your love. You have unconsciously associate a man's negative behavior, irresponsibility and lack of ambition TO the lack of money. You've done this unconsciously after seeing some incidents in your life. If you do not change this belief, you will have a hard time building relationships. I hope that you can find it in yourself to challenge this belief and be a more independent women.

Security is fear. When people are afraid, they search for security. Though its one of the basic form of human needs, it also can prevent them from personal growth.

There are girls that are spoiled out there. For example, some girls make use of their good looks to manipulate men to get what ever they want. Though they may get what they "aim" for.. like money, fame and status. They DO NOT get what they NEED.. which is a REAL man.

Its fine. Those girls do not deserve you. You are better than that. These girls are usually spoiled by "nice guys". Its not entirely their fault. Guys are putting her on a pedestal for what God has given her for free. Some part of her life she found a "nice guy" that is financially successful. So she manipulate him to get what she wants..

Eventually though, she will get annoyed by his "niceness". This is because the only way that the guy know how to express her love is not by being a MAN and treating her as a women; but by buying her more presents and giving her more possessions. A real man would not accept her despite her good looks.. he is well aware of her dependent behavior.

I am not taking any sides here. But some level of financial stability IS NEEDED to start a family. A real man is the CAPTAIN of the ship. He would plan his life ahead.. this includes managing his finances for the sake of his family.

Its actually fun reading this debate. The passion between debby and poyozer and moorish..inc salience. I think if u all would meet together on the streets you could be great friends.

No offence. But i disagree.. your point is?

i disagree with buddha.. and i dont see how buddha have got anything to do with tis topic. but now i understand.

A lot of women today are contributing more and more to society. They are doing this because they choose to. Not because they have to.
I work around alot of women. They may not be as competative as men are. But they play a very important role in an organization. They are good team players, communicate openly and are more diplomatic than guys are.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be a full time housewife.. But please do not make false assumption of what drives these women. You need to increase your social circle.. We are not living in the 50's and 60's anymore. Women of today are more driven and empowered. Your choices in life may be good enough for you, but it may not be enough for everyone else.

My little sister always wanted to be a nurse since she was a kid. If she marry a wealthy man, do you think she will let go of her dreams? Off course not! So please, do not degrade the entire female species.

After 90+ pages, one would think that she would be open to POSIIBILITY that her paradigm are flawed.

What happen instead was she "editted" her first post.. Ignore relevant points by others. She focuses on some negative feedbacks and take it personally.
I have to admit, some of the responses here are abit immature and uncalled for.. but she need to know that people are generally here to "help".
You could only help people so much. Changing core beliefs is really hard. One must be courageous and willing. If one is not willing, no amount of convincing would be enough.

Saying you're sorry does not necessarily make everything OK. But we are human. We make mistakes, we are made through the image of God.. Bad things happens to good people ALL THE TIME. It does not matter wether you're rich or poor. Young or old. Regardless of race and religion. Its what you decided to do to over the face of adversity which will determine how strong you are. Will you sulk and cling to your insecurities in order to show your significance? Or will you raise above adversity? Will u live your life feeling sorry for yourself? Or will you except your shortcomings learn from it and live courageously?

Stop trolling please

push report button. click.

I totally agree. These people look down on peoples dreams and aspirations..they tell them to be "realistic". Telling other people to follow the herd. The fact of the matter is, they are doing this to justify their decision to give up on their dreams and to achieve their fullest potential. When people fail they would say "I told you so!".. But in order to achieve success one must FAIL ALOT. The fact that she got married to someone with financial wealth only gives her the illusion of success. I guess some people can settle for a life of mediocrity. I just hate it when she advocates her mediocre way of life to other people in this forum.

i cant believe this women. People just stop caring for what u have to say. Thats all. and unfortunately, we are not as free as you are.