I get your point miss. I've got it from the start.


I didn't say you deleted it, I just said you placed money ABOVE it. Money is more important to you than the person's character.


That's good, though I wonder why you said "I believe I will" rather than "I will". Why is there that glimmer of doubt?


That is YOUR perception of the argument, its not what WE are saying. At least not n00bi3, duke red and I. What we're saying its doomed when you place MONEY before CHARACTER. You're advocating looking for someone rich with a good character, rather than someone with a good character that happens to be rich. There is a difference between the two.

When you put money as the initial criteria, you don't bother to know the person first and what he is capable of. You just look at what he has, if he doesn't "have it" yet, you just ignore him. If you put character as the initial criteria, you'll actually get to KNOW the person FIRST, whether he has enough money to support you or not, or whether he is capable, you will then know and decide.

Debbie holds the latter view, she looks at character first. You don't see me slamming her views, only yours. Did you ever stop to think WHY?


I've seen many girls marry "poor" people and also be happy! Likewise I've seen people marry rich people and be sad.

Once again, you JUMP to the extreme. Between ok-ok and perfect there's a huge gamut of choices. I'm saying we should stick with someone we can accept, some who's character we like. Not someone's who's character we simply tolerate because they can give us something in return.


As I mentioned again and again, you're not looking at the points we're trying to tell you. You have an assumption of what we mean, and that skews your perception of our argument. Then you go around and try to refute us based on your version of our argument. However that is NOT what we're saying. Try to discuss this properly yes?


You know, if I didn't know better... I'd think you were male. Your ego is at least as big as one
Did it ever occur to you that I have a JOB and I need to WORK? Your arrogance astounds me. Proving you wrong is easy, and I've consistently been doing it, of course your ego will not allow yourself to admit that


There's nothing wrong with that. However, in life things do not always go the way we want them to. In that event, would you be willing to work to help support your family? or would you rather let your hubby carry all the burden? In any scenario, its always a good idea to be prepared for the worst, even though there is no sign of it coming in the future.

Debbie, you have just insulted my father.

I guess i understand what is your stand, the man who are financial capable u give more priority but in the same time observing his personality and attitude, cause those are determine a person's quality. and with that both, then only it makes u secure enough for u to step into another stage with this man which is marriage. am i right ?

Well, if your father sick and still wanna work, that is his business. And if your father wanna work during public holiday that also his own business as well. The thing is, dun standardize all men shud follow your father as a role model, youngsters got their own life.

Dont say until like that la...some women really insist on going to work because they enjoy it. Like you also ma...you're a working lass arent you?

I TOTALLY AGREE to Hawk.

In short, moorish is taking a shortcut to access for unlimited wealth. Marrying someone rich can help you skip working life? NO WAY. You think it is that easy?

She refuse to work. Let me guess why?
Working is tough and hard.
I hate facing people or being instructed by superior or boss.
All I want is money but don't want to work.
Working is stressful, tiring and restless.

Let's look at reality again.

Both man and woman work. Man loves woman, woman loves man because both has the initial criteria both can agreed.
Man spend money to have time with a woman. Woman spent time with man. Fair enough. Still both are working.
Man works hard save money, and woman works hard and save money too.
Along the way they endure ups and downs but still they face it. Some losses job and find a new job, or get promoted with salary increase.
When man saved enough money he proposed a marriage to the woman after several years of relationship. Husband took a mortgage to buy a house, and diversified investment to create wealth. After married both husband and wife work harder save money just in case of uncertainty and reduce risk. They buy insurance and planned ahead of time. Wife got pregnant and still she goes to work even harder this time with a belly bulging. (Woman deserve respect this time.) A responsible husband works harder to prepare reserve funds for the incoming baby. (Man deserve respect too). The baby is born, both wife and husband took maternity leave to take of the child wife gets 3 months, Husband gets 1 or 2 months maternity leave.
Husband and wife resumes their daily work and together take turns to bring up child until tertiary education. At this point, both are financially stable should the need arises wife can quit the job and take care of the child. Husband advised the wife to quit and spend more time with the child. In some cases wife refused to quit fearing financial uncertainty and risk. Husband diversified investment in real estate and property to create passive income.

At this point, having money=security? Not exactly.
Let me tell you banking terms money is always a depreciating asset, bombarded by market forces. Prices go up during economy crisis and affects both man and woman. So is it good to be SAHM ?? SAHM with no prior working experience.

Anyone dares to challenge reality?

This post has been edited by blitzboy: Oct 7 2009, 11:52 AM

You should know that I'm taking this as an example to show what it means a self-motivated attitude a guy should have.

If I'm assuming this as a role model for all men to follow, I should have put more examples as much as I could imagine.

Having own business or working 9 to 5 is doesn't matter, what's more important is the attitude. You all scream for gender equality, have you ever thought of if you have done your best for your career? What makes me feel funny is that some of the forumers claim that earning 5k per month is enough, some of them even says 2k per month is enough (check out the thread "Gf left me, she say i am poor". How to enough if taking public transport to work needs RM5 to RM7 per day and RM140 per month? I haven't even included the time wasted in taking public transport. In this case I have not much to say if you have installments to buy a car.

These childish people who says 2k or 5k per month is enough, I really doubt if they are too genius in mathematics or they are too used to be in comfort zone, or they are just plain lazy to aim high and thus critisize women who go for financial stable guys are materialistic. They say they are average, I don't know which part of their body or their belongings is average enough!

The formula is just simple:
self-motivated = financial stable (rich)

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Added on October 7, 2009, 11:51 amI enjoy working is one thing, my husband/bf asks me to work is another thing.

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Oct 7 2009, 11:51 AM

Yes, I noted your comments, I do agree, too.

There's no reason for me to lower down the criteria. If I'm aiming high to earn better pay for my family, I can't accept that a man can't do the same as I do.

There are actually Malaysian guys who are self-motivated with progressive driven life in my social circle, it's only that there are only 5% among all.

actually I dont see why earning 5K is not enough for a person, because in the end of the day is not how much u earn but is how much u save, ur lifestyle. of course that kind of earning cant afford a high maintanence galfren, but then which normal guy on earth would like to get a gold digger as a partner beside those play boy ?

and if 5k per month is not enough ? then how much is enough ? 8 - 10k ? do u know getting that 10k is already associate director position, and of course not every tommy and harry could climb to that post. Unless today u are doing business or earning damn well in share market and other investment. sometimes is not say staying in comfort zone, but u look at the enviroment around when the bad economy, ur colleagues got chop off, boss give pressure, u wanna jump but duno where to jump. seriously when u look at urself with this 5k salary, u couldnt really hope for much.

and some gal couldnt see this pressure in men, why ? because for them, guy shud earn more and feed them, and why they got such thinking ? seriously i dun wanna talk about it cause it will drag to annother endless debate.

Yes, my hubby is very traditional too, he believes a man should be the provider, he infact insist I quit my job aftre we're married. He says he feels more respectable bringing food back home.

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Added on October 7, 2009, 12:35 pmprecisely

I didnt exactly read all your posting, but just wanna say this

I put a certain standard to my life, a man comes along with the same thinking, anything wrong with me and my husband? He likes a wife being a housewife, I want to be a housewife, I only see a perfect match.

This post has been edited by moorish: Oct 7 2009, 12:35 PM

I just ask you few question:
1. how much you can save when inflation keep flying high but your salary remains in 5k? Have you thought about children's education? Let say you want to send them to local uni, how confident you are that your children manage to enter local uni? Have you tried to do research on the tuition fees for a private college 10 years ago with the current one?

2. why put "unless"? why don't you even give it a try to make it comes true either invest in stocks market or set up own business? Have you thought of why those employees been fired? Is it because their value too high or too low? Being fired doesn't mean you can bring this as an execuse to stop yourself from climbing high, instead find a way to groom up yourself and do better.

I always believe there's a will, there's a way. If you want to success, give yourself no execuses.

3. why claims all gals who pursue self-motivated and financial stable husband/bf = gold digger and high maintenance? Gals want to see security in the future, earn much money doesn't mean you have to spend them off for luxury, but to save up for futures' uncertainties, but to at least have a better nutritious meals and not just telur masini and kampung fish; buy some better quality clothings that last long and presentable and not those pasar malam clothings or slippers that last only few months or half year; send children for private colleges IN CASE they are not manage to enter local uni; go for private hospitals IN CASE have to queue up long at government hospitals where careless surgery cases happened nowadays; etc etc...

So you tell me, this way of spending money is materialistic? Is gold digger? All these are money. Tell me how much you need to spend for insurance of 4 persons (you, your wife and your 2 kids, let say), with only 5k per month?

If you have really thought of these issues, you will realise that aim high for good salary doesn't mean that person is materialistic. Value attitude of "aim rich" in different angles.

I met my hubby back in 03, we got married 2 years later in 05, and we've a baby in 09, 4 years later. so far its been 6 years, I still find him a very respectable husband. I love him and he love me a lot, he really pamper and sayang me. Now we've a baby, he seem such a perfect husband and I hope it stays this way, I cant tell really.

He made a blog about our baby and I'll PM you the addy, you read and you decide.

this is some how getting loose.. hehehe..
the world is round.. u can do whatever u want and as long as u are happy with it.. then it is fine with us...

doesnt matter u are rich, or marry a rich spouse...
doesnt matter if u earn 3k or 20k....

Majority girls do
but i haven't meet those girls (girlfriend of mine i mean) money minded in my life currently.
and not with my side girl's friends, some of them really money minded, hate them ;(

I shall now attempt to turn this thread into a buaya thread.

So, dancingwind, how you doin'?

hmm i will join the buaya-ness.

@dancingwind:
have you had your lunch yet?

talk cock sing song,keep going plz

So, you dance? You must be pretty... flexible.

I'm not being naive to the point where I think life is a bed of roses, I've my share of downside. And I'm happy I've left that bum for my hubby.

that is why we need to get ourselves the best husband we can find and one who is capable to provide, 10 years more nobody knows the future.

Thanks for your wishes, and I hope you mean it.

1. What makes u think a person income will forever stuck in 5K ?

2. invest in stock market got the risk, and of course i hardly see people making big money from there. And people who get retrench is not because of their value, is actually whether the company see them as redundancy or not. So are u able to made 10k profit from share market per month ? as for self business, that also depends on alot of factor, but 1 thing for sure u can never do things alone if u wanna make it steady and promising.

3. I said 5K are not enough for a gold digger, but did i say gals who want self-motivated husband/gf is gold digger ? if yes, please show me.

What i trying to say is, gal should see the guys attitude 1st regardless he is rich or poor. Ok la, today u go for a rich guy, 1 day he lose all his money, then u leave him ? So the poor guy now become success u run back to him ? of course u have to see the guy potential value, he is earning 2k now but if u see the persistency in him for his career, then i would say he is a man that worth, because u wont know 1 day he would stay on the top or not. Actually is just same like investing a share, some with high value but it got no guarantee to stay high forever.

And i always think, a woman that too rely on husband on financial is not a good thing. Who knows 1 day he would run away, or prolly past away ? so when female yelling for gender equality, is time to improve themself, at least be more independent.

+ 1 point..


I TOTALLY AGREE !!