If you have followed my previous thread where i was struggling whether to reconcile or divorce - so this is final and i have divorced and back to single life again (back to the market) hahaha..

So i've known this girl from my previous company (my ex colleague). She is still single and we have been connecting quite well (already know her before my divorce). I would not say we had a fling during that time and I always a BIG BORTHER amongst the group, and to her also.

She was one of the first to person to know that i will go for a divorce, and we did hang out occasionally like in cafes - no any romantic dates so far. BUT, there's once i offered to pick her up from airport from her trip and she agreed, we then had lunch and I sent her home.

Throughout this period and i always felt we had chances to build a deeper connection until one day, she sent me a "STOP TEXT" that says she only ever saw me as a big brother, and asked me to reciprocate from my divorce.

I accepted the "rejection" and stopped contacting her for a month. Recently, I tried asking her for a dinner she agreed for meet up. During the meet up, the vibe was super casual and normal - we chat, laughed and enjoyed the moment, as if the stop-text was never a thing. After the meet up, things gone slow again.

In short, I know i have been "bro-zoned", and i may have been over-thinking all these while. And i know my divorcee status may have pulled her back as well cos she did mentioned that my divorce was still fresh, when i was jokingly saying I'm back to single now.

What puzzles me:

- If a girl does not like you, or only treat you as a bro - will she ever let someone to pick her up from airport, and let you send her home?
- If the stop-text was final, she still agreed to meet up, and treat the text was not ever sent (i prepared that it will be an awkward meet-up)
- Getting close > Reject > Reconnect > Avoidant

In anyway, I'm trying to moved on from her and meeting someone new. Deep down, the mixed signals are still lingering.

Share with me your view on this situation

UPDATE:
Expressed to her my feelings for her is still there for after the first rejection. And yet she replied almost the same, so another rejection. I'm all done with her now. Tried whatever I can by giving her space, hang out as casual friends, no expectations, etc., ended up in the same outcome.

By the way, myself and our peers confirmed she is more or less a relationship virgin (like for 33 years). So she may be afraid and already shut down for good to get into a relationship, OR maybe she is a Bisexual kinda girl - as i do not see she's been hanging out with guys at all.

Whatever it is, I'm closing her off and she need to be gone for good. I muted her IG stories and no more contacts, so that someone new can come into my life.

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Aug 24 2025, 11:19 PM

There are girl don't mind letting u know their address and become her driver since it was convenience for her. Be careful since she accuse you as stalker and get you arrested anytime she wanted to. Move-on asap to establish yourself already moved on from her to everyone. Not all girl take well their bro/friend zone people moving on from them

I can only assume she just see you as friend or bro, hence still the trust and let you send her home.
I mean on her POV, if someone I trusted offer me a free ride, why not?



Same. I can only assume she says stop on further relationship only but would like to remain as friends.

Just move on la bro, atleast you are lucky as in she already gave you a clear sign by sending a stop text meaning she already doing her part on informing you officially that just be friends.

Unlike some poor fella I saw just getting used with free benefit in mind then getting dumped in the end...Without a single message and getting hang in the air like that...

Yup. I have male friends that I'll send/fetch to/from the airport and vice versa. Close friends, nothing more than that. Usually we will "pay back" by helping to buy some duty free gifts or belanja makan or something. I don't see what's wrong with allowing a close male friend to pick me up from the airport and send me home.

Stop text was to tell you to back off and that she doesn't see you like that, cause you might have been pursuing her romantically. Not everyone defaults to enemies or strangers after a rejection. It's fine to still be friends, even close friends. If both are mature enough, you guys can still have a fulfilling long term friendship. She's mature enough for that, and she even drew the line clearly for you so you know where you stand in her eyes.

Just a deduction - you may have unintentionally made her feel like she played a part in your divorce.

Even if that’s far from the truth, she might quietly wonder: If she had never known you, would things have turned out differently with your ex?

For a woman who values clear moral boundaries or is cautious about emotional entanglements, that kind of unspoken doubt can weigh heavily — not because she feels guilty, but because she doesn’t want to be seen as the reason a marriage ended, even indirectly.

100% agreed and spot on. I'm pretty sure she would think of this and hence the pulled back.

i believe she was also considering you previously, but then after you divorced you really seemed more eager to hangout with her?
made her pause and think, and sorry to say she decided not to pursue forward and only be friends.

why? well, you just got divorced. still too early to jump into another serious relationship. ever heard of rebound gf/partner? she obviously dont wanna be a temporary/rebound partner.

after some time, when you are more level headed (in terms of relationships) then i think you might have a chance.
She might not wanna be a rebound partner, hence she pulls away now. because she wants a serious long term relationship, and i believe you have a better chance then.

also, after the "stop text" she still go out see you? well simple, she already say she sees you as friend.
she doesnt want you to proceed being close to her if you want to be more than friends.
you proceeding to invite her out shows that " OK, i understand your "stop text" and i agree with being just friends and not to proceed further ".

Because i believe she values the friendship, and if u dont pursue more, she is OK with being friends if u ok with being friends.

You can still break out of friendzone if you were not decently charismatic in the past. Whether it is post or pre divorce life it doesn't matter much as long as the girl can rationalize being with you

you want to cultivate a firm mindset and right sets of actions when interacting with women

they don't want a wishy washy guy
If you like her more than a friend, try to ask her back to your or her own place. The romantic or sexual interest is already clear

Not necessary "eager", as i know my divorce is still fresh, and i'm totally aware of this. Our meet up is like only once every two weeks, and casual texting (not day till night and not daily). I always been keeping the boundaries clear.

Yes, in the content of the stop text there is hidden sentence meaning "as a rebound", but i know i have fully let go and moved on from my past marriage, but words cant show her than actions. So, I accepted this and then we disconnected for a month. While we were disconnected, i do focus on myself and stay emotionally grounded.

When we met up recently, first she said was wow I looked different and noticed my shift of energy. In fact, i have always been ok and accepted to stay as friend, and let it be whatever life lead us (after the stop text).

I dont know when if my shift in energy (more emotionally grounded) makes her more confused now or may be even not want to be friend anymore, as she has not been replying (no double text from me).

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Jun 30 2025, 11:56 AM

go meet new girls je la

no point to be very close friend with a girl.
better look for 4th wife if want to be so close.

It's fine to have some close girl friends cause they will introduce you to her other female friends also

If you don't count in time and money putting onto maintaining a relationship with a female, it can be a great experience

TS

Women likes to keep their options open.

So should you.

Keep focusing on your personal development and recovery. Thats top priority.

Once a while chat with her and ask her out and hit on her.
You might get lucky. But also date other women and make sure she is aware that she is also an option.

Why do you keep texting this girl and seeing her every couple of weeks? Do you value her friendship? Or are you clinging to the hope that one day you will say or do the right thing, the stars and planets will align, and some cosmic force be it God, fate or karma will flip a switch in her heart and she will fall in love with you and both of you will live happily ever after?

a bit close can lh... 1 year, 1 time contact...

Well, likely this - that emotional hopes that lingers.

Maybe we were just a mere friendship from the very beginning after all, and i over-think.

That may be the case for you, but good male/female friendships do exist for others.

This post has been edited by munkeyflo: Jun 30 2025, 02:19 PM

you make the move to see whether she's just friendship or something more. It's just this simple

Don't need to overthink

What’s your rush to quickly get another mate?

Use this free time to build yourself and body. Get jacked. Learn a new thing. Once you have the ’wow’ factor, she will be easily there when you least expect it.

Take it from me. I’m a divorcee too.

I'm not able to make any move as she is in avoidant mode now. Of course now i want to sit down, deep talk and speak the inner truth from both us. And just close our chapter and move on.


Yea, all the things to do that make your self occupied, self growth physically and mentally - been doing it. Ask yourself, always when there is a moment you will be all by yourself, and the loneliness kicks in. We used to have a partner (since you are a divorcee also) that stay by us all the time, and now you are all by your own.

Btw, i'm not rushing things, just i'm quite troubled by the relationship with her that seems to be OK at first, then reject, then reconnect, then gone cold again.

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Jun 30 2025, 02:44 PM

I have a contradictory point here since I am a divorcee 3 years ago so I know.

Some girls like the "challenge" of trying to get other women's husband. Not to say she is entirely that kind of girl but they exist. Once you totally exit a marriage, they see you as a failed person in relationships. Why? Because they assume that you did not do your part well enough to maintain a marriage. On the other hand, if a married man who is struggling with his wife, he still is in a marriage and has better chance to hit on other girls.

Yes and No for this. On this, she knew the whole reason and story behind my divorce. Yes - she might somehow feel insecure to build a a deeper relationship with me. I'm totally aware of this.

Or it could either be you turned out too needy after your divorce?

Maybe before the stop text was sent - the casual chats and hang outs would make her felt so, hence she built her inner defense wall i guess.

yeah, noticed that also.
as long as it's good for the person, no harm in doing so.

Sitting down, deep talk and speak "inner truth".

Sorry..this is not how to score with a girl.

I think she is just using you as a service provider.

Did u confess to her?
Most probably take u for granted, treat u as a spare during her freetime and enjoy all those free lunch/dinner from u.

You are are cleared that she gave you a rejection. But after awhile she still going out with you. This is bullshit, most probably take you for granted for dinner, kill her time, as driver.




If i were you, focus back yourself. Keep your options open, meeting more new ladies. As for her part, please move on.

This post has been edited by Mr.Ballz: Jul 1 2025, 06:56 PM

ChatGPT said:
Thank you for sharing that. Your honesty shows a lot of self-awareness, and I can see you're trying to find clarity and peace after something emotionally confusing. Let’s break this down piece by piece:

🔄 The Mixed Signals
You're describing a cycle that many people experience:

Getting close → Rejection → Reconnection → Avoidance → Confusion

This kind of push-pull behavior is emotionally exhausting, especially when the signals don’t match the words. It leaves you constantly second-guessing what’s real.

🛬 Picking Her Up from the Airport
You asked: Would someone who doesn't like you do that?

Here’s the hard truth:
Yes, some people will accept care and help even if they don’t feel romantically toward the person offering it. Not necessarily out of manipulation—sometimes it's comfort, habit, or even guilt. Some don’t know how to draw clear boundaries themselves, and that confusion gets passed on to you.

📵 The “Stop-Text” That Was Ignored
You clearly took the initiative to set a boundary. That's strong. But when she acted like it never happened, it likely invalidated your emotional effort and left you off-balance.

If she was emotionally mature, she should have acknowledged that message and asked if reconnecting was okay.

The fact that she didn't may mean:

She doesn't know what she wants

She enjoys the emotional closeness without commitment

Or she isn’t respecting your boundaries

❌ Avoidant Behavior
You described her as becoming avoidant. That often means someone is emotionally overwhelmed or doesn't want to deal with discomfort. Avoidant people may pull close for emotional security, then push away when intimacy gets real.

In other words: She may want the closeness without the cost.

💬 My View
You're not crazy or weak for being confused. Mixed signals are powerful because they exploit hope—hope that things are meaningful, that feelings are mutual, or that it might just work out.

But here’s the key:

If you’re constantly decoding someone’s behavior, they’re not showing up clearly.

Clarity is kindness. Mixed signals, whether intentional or not, are a form of emotional unavailability.

🙌 Moving On
You're already doing the right thing—meeting new people, focusing on forward movement. That lingering feeling? That’s just your heart catching up to what your mind already knows.

You don’t have to hate her. But you owe it to yourself to stop investing in someone who isn’t showing up fully.

If you want, I can help you:

Draft a final closure message

Reflect on what to look for next time

Or just be here to listen

Either way, I respect where you’re at. You're not alone in this.

No F*ckin way, how many of your male friends is single ? Can you imagine telling their gf/wife that they are fetching their "close" female friend lolz


Yes, they do exist but not for the same motives/reasons. Don't believe me? try tell them you are romantically interested in them.

There is almost no benefits for a guy to be good/close friend with a woman. It benefits women more than men. Only few exception like fwb.

Dey punde what big time divorce? You were option

The bitch test drive then feel u pondan bapuk ghey no upgrade status and no good piap so she will progress to alpha for her. You show the bitch what she missing.

Exercise. Self development meditate be good but don't be pushover pondan faggot

Exactly that damn woman is bitch using u. Don't waste your time with her. The bitch feel guilty she using u though she know she will never let u bang her.

Bro Zone is for desperate faggot. Like Russell Peter say be a Man do the right thing.

This post has been edited by lordgamer3: Jul 1 2025, 10:42 PM

I did not confess to her. Let me clarify some thing here:

1) The airport pickup - She rejected my offer to pick her at first, only after my few attempts, only she agreed.
2) Casual meet up - She is not that kind of person where I ask her out, she would instantly agreed. Normally i need to ask few times only after couple of days, only we meet. All the bills we are on AA only.

I admit the act i did above may be a bit needy at times, and so i do slow things down and give her space by not contacting and pursuing her.

So i do not think she is taking me for granted as she set her boundaries pretty clear.

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Jul 2 2025, 11:19 AM

You are too narrow minded.

I have a number of good/close female friends.

In terms of benefits, its pretty similar to having a good/close male friend. Good friends will go a bit out of the way to help you out.

Life is better with good friends in this world, regardless of sex.

Hey bro, long time no see. How you doing?

Anyway, there are benefits to being good friends with a woman. They have a different perspectives and approach than guys. Its often easier to explore problems/emotions with women compared to men.

my 2cents is youre the insurance and ego booster that any women would want and need in their life and most prob shes just not that into you
youre safe and available to her and thats about it, would it evolve into something greater maybe if there isnt any one else on her trail.
best bet is to continue your search and not focus your intention and attention to her.
youre single now thus enjoy the pain and the fun thats come with it why got stuck with some lame fling.

A bit needy? That's too needy

It's not narrow minded, it's reality. I'm not talking about exceptions but in general.

No matter how progressive we are, we will always revert back to our instinct.

Give me few good examples of good/close female friend is equivalent to a male friend.

I'm doing great, still much more to learn about life. How bout you? Did you get what you wish for in life?

We can get perspectives from female acquaintances doesn't need to be "close" friend, being close require extra effort and getting less in return. In another term a waste of time and resources. Here's the irony, the more I ignore them trying getting close to me, the more they are interested. If only these beta males know these unspoken wisdom.

If I wanted to explore my problem/emotions let it be my gf/wife. Or better yet in the bed 😆. Ain't got no time for these spoiled brats.

This post has been edited by nickisthemost: Jul 2 2025, 04:48 PM

Pretty much Life always throws curve balls, but overall I'm happy with what I have

You're still looking at them as partner potential, rather than friend, that's why you think that way. If you graduate from that thinking, you'll notice you won't be talking about your friendships in such a transactional way.

You won't get good perspectives from acquittances because they don't really know you, so anything said to you would be generic crap. There are also some things you can't talk to your wife about, at least not right away without building up to it. Which is why therapist and counsellors exist. Friends can often take those roles whether male/female.

I'm glad you're still here. Ok, quick recap who do you miss the most? Gotta be me rite ? rite ? 😂

@PIOPIO i miss you 😘

It got nothing to do with seeing them as potential partner. Oh we will never graduate from having fun lolz.

No shot. Female acquaintances that I know will give me good perspectives not because of how close we are, but generally because they are just good people. Plus, getting a good female perspective is already a low bar in terms of benefits.

Therapists/counsellors are trained—they are not the same.

I don't disagree with you that a lot of these friendships have an ulterior motive. However, platonic friendships between male and female do exist.

You need to understand that not every relationship is about sex, not every female friend is out to get you and take advantage of your kindness. There are people who are mature enough to understand that relationships are beyond those transactional benefits and kindness goes both ways.

I've done trips with a close guy friend of over 10 years. He was attached to someone at that time. I was attached too. No romantic interest at all. Some of the other close guy friends might have had romantic interest in the past but that's old news. They have had girlfriends or gotten married with kids and we would hang out together with their wife/gf and my partner too. We buy gifts for each other, take turns to belanja each other, we would do hobbies together, play games together, travel together, talk shit together, vent and rant to each other, help each other out when in need, etc. Just like any friends would do, regardless of gender.

But I do see your point, there are guys like you too. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different that way.

Actually when come to women, it basically boils down to two things.
1. How much money do you have.
2. How do you look?

If you have either one of these, you are bound to achieve success. Unless you are gay.

Lol u made it sound like women don't care abt personality at all.

How platonic can it get? Are you comfortable enough seeing each other naked ?

Kindness goes both ways, but it's always men that extended their kindness more than women. I'm not saying they shouldn't.


What if he is not attached? Vice versa. Why the need to emphasize it? It's a platonic relationship after all lolz

Btw belanja here and there is normal, i did that too. I'm talking about the one that goes out of their way to help.

I dont really think girl care about personality when the guy with money n power!

Are you comfortable seeing your guy friends naked? I don't get that question cause I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone other than my SO seeing me naked, guy or girl, close friend or friend or family or stranger.

That's what you have probably experience and what you believe. It's kinda sad that you feel that it's always men who extend more kindness than women.

Emphasize what? A couple of my close male friends aren't attached. What's the issue? We've known each other for years and have had various partners come and go during those years of friendship. I would definitely go out of my way to help them, and vice versa.

Again, you may have different experiences in life with people of the opposite gender. Not blaming anyone or saying that's wrong. Just saying that those kind of friendships do exist. Not sure why you are trying so hard to prove others wrong lol. Anyhow, not interested to discuss this further. Have a great weekend!

nah, that tiggy, dunno where he disappeared to


I don't think she's here anymore

I don't think you understand what I'm sharing, but its ok. One day you will.

"A platonic relationship is a close bond between two people that is non-romantic and devoid of sexual intimacy. It's essentially a deep friendship characterized by emotional connection, shared interests, and mutual respect, without the presence of romantic or physical attraction."

I'm just exploring the definition, since there's no physical attraction. Seeing each other naked surely wouldn't be a problem, unless they are insecure about their body.

It's not sad, it's the reality. The sad part is when a man showing kindness thinking they'll get their feelings reciprocated.

So your SO is not bothered by you having a vacation alone with another single male close friend?

Give me an example of you going out of your way to help.

It does exist, but in the confine of a female's perspective which is not bound by reality.

Because there is no one for me to try hard so I gotta get hard...... I mean try hard. It's not weekend yet 😔

The fact that you kept trying even though she already rejected, seriously makes you look desperate.

This is from a third party perspective, imagine if it was her’s straight.

Is your instinct to be horny at all women? Or selective ones? I know Im selective.

Since you ask for examples, its story time then..

TLDR: Sometimes, a close female friend is not equivalent but even better than a good male friend.

First story. My oldest close and best female friend, we have been friends since uni days so long ago. We hang out often, i know her family she knows mine. She migrated to Australia, married an Aussie and had family there. When I visited Oz, she was so happy, hosted a party and even lent me a car to use during my stay, FOC.

I was touched. You wont normally get this type of treatment from a guy friend. Most likely its "let me know when you are free, I will buy you drinks" sort of thing. I do this often. Men are more reserved. Women tend to go more all out in their show of affection. Thats one of the best part of having good female friends.

Another true story of another close girl friend ("S").

One day I was stalking S socmedia and saw a group photo of a girls night out. Some pretty girls in the pic but one girl was a real Wow stand out ("W"). Short black dress, model look. My type 😊

I quickly contacted S and queried her about W. I asked S to set me up with W. S first reaction was W is out of my league. But after a bit of begging and reminder of the things I did for her before, S agreed.

About a month later, S got me an invitation to a party where W was also present. S introduced me to W and we exchanged contacts. I started texting W occassionally (play cool) and another few months later, got my first date with W.

At the start of the first date, W told me that she only agreed to go out with me because S kept pestering her to!

Behind the scene, S was promoting me to W. S was like my referee. I also used S to get intel about W so I can game better.

Fast forward a few months later, W was my official GF.
Thanks a lot to S. Women are great wingman. No way a guy friend can help make this happen.

Im not putting down my good guy friends. They.are great at many other things. Like going to police station late at night 😆.

I have been blessed with good friends of both sexes. Its really your loss if you believe men and women cant be friends.

Bro..I will be more uncomfortable if my guy friend start being naked in front of me. What the hell is happening. 🤣

Depth of friendship shouldnt be measured on our state of undress i think.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jul 5 2025, 06:36 PM

Yea i admitted what i did in the past was too needy and overly intense, which scares her off.

Anyway, we have been recently reconnected and met for dinner. Now we just merely hanging out as a friend, no expectations and keep everything light and casual.

At least is good to restart everything as a normal friend, in fact I'm feeling better now too. No hard pursue, no expectations - just let everything flow as it is.

Going back to the dating game?

You need to read this before you fall into the friendzone
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1111256

There's something about the way women think, once you have been friendzoned, you have been mentally blocked. It would be wasting your time to pursue any further.

It's not the same way as how guys view their female friends, if they are attractive.

she sent me a "STOP TEXT" that says she only ever saw me as a big brother

As a former simp, a guy who's in friendzone, get rejected by ladies few times, trust me that she really only sees you as a friend. Yea sure she's ok to go for a dinner or you fetch her from some places, but once she made her mind about only sees you as a bro or friend then you're stuck there. 2 choices for you, 1 you stay as friend or bro but you need to forget about the getting into relationship with her. 2 you just move on, just ignore her and since you're divorced you can go find another women, not going to judge as this is normal. Join some speed dating, go to church or temple, some hiking or workout activities which you can find in Reddit.

Remember this, you to have choices to make.

This post has been edited by Napalm_man: Jul 7 2025, 04:11 PM

Thanks for your comment bro!

Yea i already accepted the rejection and I am at the road on moving on. Just saying during those period, I may have living on my own fantasy where she don't really reject me as a person, but the timing was just not right (the whole pre and post divorce thingy). I believed if my background/history is clean - not a divorcee, single guy, we would have worked it out.

Just my siok sendiri feeling ya.. anyway thanks all and I'm moving on, no relationship expectation and just staying connected as a normal friend

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Jul 7 2025, 04:39 PM

Classic friendzone...this was a problem 15 years ago here in cupid corner for guys posting here, and it is still a problem now.
I dunno why men don't realize and recognize the existence of this scenario and still fall for it again and again.

remember the choice that you are making and this means that if she suddenly call you and need you to send her to the airport or pick her up you know what to say

ah the classic string along. it's all because u gave her all the benefit.... doesnt matter what u want or hoped for, it's always been what she can get off you.

i too have been single for 2 years and finally ready to get into the market myself. lol i tell u, it's like i landed in a new planet.

last i dated someone was over 13 years ago. man the dating scene really changed quite a lot. i went on a couple of dates, none of them ever bore any fruit.

i guess i'll just die single.

It's like stepping into another multiverse right? Suddenly, I don't know the dating world anymore.

Ya hahaha. I mean i tried looking into the women i used to hang out with, all of them already have someone or family.

Aiya, just see where this new chapter brings us la

This post has been edited by calvinteh: Aug 9 2025, 04:20 PM

U should be looking for women in their late 20s or early 30s.

Younger then that they are still in disney fantasy world and if any is willing to date u, its for u to be a sugar daddy. Older than that and, if still attractive, will have a lot of traumas that u dont want to handle.

problem is i have a child to financially support, last thing i want is another toddler to support as well hahaha

Tbh, divorced single dads r quite suitable to partner with single mums. People who are not single parent wont really understand the challenges.

If concerned about money, then find one thats financially stable.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Aug 11 2025, 12:05 PM

i have to agree with u on the single mum part. best advise is though, make sure you are stable both financially and mentally first before tackling them. they wont come cheap and wont come without any baggage.

i am casually dating a single mum now, although i dont have much time with her, i do notice that emotional support is really needed there, so if u're not stable urself, better be careful

maybe.. you shouldn't brain too much into what she say/ do? i dont know you or her, but most girls act on emotion and impulse.. you really would be the best to tell if you need to put so much science into why she does this and that

Don't focus too much on one girl.

You'll get hurt later.

Don't have hope. If it feels not smooth, move on.

If a guy is single in his 40s, and is still not stable financially and emotionally, then forget getting GF. Get these 2 things in order first. Its the main selling points of why a girl want to date a 40s guy in the first place.

If you are financially and emotionally stable, add in fit and healthy with a nice bod..easy to get gf.

Do u still believe is marriage? Like ... would u go for 2nd marriage again?

If my next partner is the right one, and she is open for family plan - yes, i will go for second marriage.

honestly? i wouldnt want to, i mean at most just a simple 1 table dinner between 2 families and that's it.
or maybe just a life partner to go through life together and grow old, u know?

Same here.

This year I got influenza, a bad one. It sucks to be alone and to be sick. One of those times where I wished got wife.

Is it because of trauma? You scared history repeat again?

man, sorry to hear that, it must've sucked. u know i have this fear that since i'm all alone and i rarely go out unless to work, i may end up dying at home and no one discovers me until ages later. lol

i guess u can say that. i gave the prime of my life to this one woman only to find out that she could change to be who she is today.
just gets me thinking, can we really say we know someone even after spending decades with each other

from my various recent experience and learning from the www. i found that women have absolutely no shame in using men.

its just the way men and women view relationship is different.

Sorry to hear that bro. Yea at least you have a companion or partner that will take care of you when you needed them.

This is in contrast to others where they said they enjoy being single. In reality, every human needs to be feel loved or care. Somemore, a divorcee like us where we were so used to have a partner, and now back alone. That feeling is never good, and only time and maybe a new partner will get over it.

True. The feeling makes me feels like who is him actually? I thought i know him well but im not. Which is sad.

exactly my point, after my experience, i'm thinking, if people want to change, regardless of time or age, they will change.

I think history will always repeat.

Don't worry

She will eventually accept you if she can't find a better one out there

Its better being alone then living under the same roof with a partner who u have alot of issues with. Much more peaceful being alone. Thats my life now, peaceful.

However, living alone sucks when one is sick. And no matter how much healthy lifestyle, one gets sick sooner or later.

i think so too. u know the phrase a tiger never looses its stripe or a cheetah never looses it's spots?

a liar will always lie and a cheater will always cheat. i found out from my mother in law after my wife left me that before she got engaged to me, she was engaged to another guy, she left that guy for me.... man that hurt me to the core. it's like, if i knew this earlier, we wouldnt have gotten married

Whilst I got divorce when I'm hitting my prime. So i tell myself this is her loss, not mine. And the same been knowing my ex wife for a decade too, but she or maybe us can just changed just as when she will.

Like how my previous started - If our marriage has kids, things MAY be different, maybe only but it's all over and moved on now.

Been struggling with the new girl in my post, and yet another disappointment. This is all my love mid life challenge crisis. Reciprocating now and building myself back by next year to welcome the right one for me.

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Aug 24 2025, 11:06 PM

In my opinion u quite rush lol

But.. right person will be coming at the right time.
No need too much effort to do many things

But have u ever wonder anything u would improve yourselves for the next relationships? I always think that one hand doesnt clap.

I think u need some time to properly heal yourself. give yourself some love and what not before going after another. my wife and i have a child together. he's 10 now, it breaks my heart because amongst 3 of us, he is the one left with the most scar and hurt. i took a decisive decision where i wanted the child to have shared custody because i believe the child requires love from both parents. so in other words, i cant really completely cut my ex off my life, it hurt a little while because everytime i see her, i am filled with anger and dissapointment. but now i feel much better, because i took time to actually heal myself and see myself from a different light

well to be fair, her complain was that i was rarely around with the family due to my heavy business trip schedules. i travel quite a lot back in the day but i have told her before we got married, i will climb as high as i can on the corporate ladder and will only settle down after i am 40. well i settled down on at 42 because i was last employed by huawei. everyone would know, this company will drain u to the core and send u everywhere in the world. before i took that job, i discussed with her and she told me to accept it since i was retrenched by another company, so i did.

after a year of service, i returned home and joined a local company, took a huge paycut but only to find out she already had someone else. i gave her 9 months to turn around, imagine what's it like, sharing a bed with someone whom u know is already having someone else by the side. it's utter torture. but i told myself for our kid, i have to try. only after 9 months i realized it's not working as her heart is no longer here, so i had to let her go.

No suprise.

How many times have been stressed in this forum..

NO CONFESSION to the girl.

And in this case u confessed 2 times LOL.

With perdictable results.

If u feel u need to confess, its a clear sign that she is not attracted to you.

Yea.. at least i got the closure i need, rather than keep guessing and waiting. I've learnt that a relationship is mutual, if a girl is interested with you, it will be.

I'm actually feeling more relieved after this closure, meaning the "pursue and hope" finally came to an end, and back to market again when I'm ready.

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Aug 25 2025, 07:17 PM

I can understand that feeling, the process, up and downs. Alot of confusion, hope, disappointment and torture. How long is ur divorcee past already?

My friend is working in huawei UK. Super PUA. I know CCP company.

This post has been edited by NinG: Aug 25 2025, 08:46 PM