So u are M and other half is F
Got issue 1 & 2 la..

Huhu..
This one issue 1 & 2, only solution is upfront tell ur other half on it..

If she cannot change, then you have to change for your own betterment..

Goodluck.. hope will turn out good

TS you quoted this in one of your reply.

"In reality life, when I without my partner, Im truly ok. But when with him, everything became uneasy again. I guess that's the part need to be fix"

Have you thought of a cooling period without him, not under same roof? You are married, any kids?

depends on which hospital you go, I going to Kajang one, small hospital.

one thing for sure, parking is bad, treatment is cheap RM5, just that every time my appointment, I am seeing diff doctor :X

Yes this week Im off from base.




Opposite, Im female.




Its my thought as well. I've been telling him I want to move back to my parents house, and I do tell my Dr too, she told me that perhaps will worsens because I tend to runaway, its not solving the problem. We got one child, my intention try not to affect my kid. For this week, I can temporary let this go this topic as Im out for business trip for a week.

I decided give chance to my private Dr today (she mentioned maybe around 6 sessions) after we discussed about money vs cost-effectiveness.

Sarah Knight gave some practical, useable advice and strategies for anxiety management.


Attached File(s)
 Calm_the_F_ck_Down.pdf ( 1.41mb ) Number of downloads: 28

anxiety and depression are like twins, I got anxiety initially then turn into depression after a few months.

there are things I did as my experience, for myself only. everyone might have diff personality.

1. stop reading news, watch TV, stay away from social media, as these are the main spreader of negative news. Up to one point, I can't even watch comedy, I don't find it funny, and it affect my mood as some scene are sad. Social media show my friend happiness, then I feel envy.

2. Treat myself better, as I am introvert, I always give others priority. after I got anxiety, and I went for wellness class, that is what I learn. I learn to say no.

3. talk to your partner, as my wife and I has diff personality, I tried to analyse, I found out I have anxiety too when I was kids, I always worry of my family, my mom, think for them more than myself, I took the responsibility of the family, no sharing with my siblings. Probably I carry too much. My wife is more outspoken person, and after sometimes she accepted my anxiety.

4. Financial matters, I was not good during that time, salary was not too high, can survive, but most of my friends are earning much more than I do, I learn to stop comparing. appreciate what I have. and I have debts as well that time.

5. Be grateful of good and bad things happened to me, look at it from higher level. Look at things with positive side. everything happens for a reason. what am I learning from that incident.

6. Learn about acceptance. Accept that I am timid, I do not need to show I am macho, let go of my face, accept I am no good, accept I am scare to die. accpet the darkside of myself, accept I have envy, hatred.

7. learn to meditate to focus on this moment, instead of thinking too much of what happen next seconds, tomorrow, future.

8. let go of what I cannot control. like flight delay, traffic jam and so on.

Which SSRI were you on?

I know what's it like to have depression as I'm going through it right now. Trying to numb it by overworking while also secretly hoping that I'll overwork myself to death someday just so i could free myself frm this mental issue.

I battled depression for 20 years and struggled with anxiety for about 2 years. I'll skip the long story; too dark, sad and gloomy. It's a closed chapter now.

My main point is, by age 32, I overcame my mental illness without medication. Here’s what I discovered in my healing journey:

1) Strong Will and Firm Decision
I made a firm decision to heal because I was fed up with my mental illness. I told my brain and body that they had the ability to recover fully from depression and anxiety, and I would support them with rest, nutrition, fresh air, sunlight, and meaningful activities. I treated my mind and body like partners in the healing process.

2) Reaffirmations
When negative thoughts flooded in, telling me I was "useless" or "hopeless," I rejected them and commanded them to shut up. Then, I replaced them with positive reaffirmations like "I am strong and resilient", "I can overcome this", "I love myself". By constantly reaffirming these beliefs, I started to reshape my mindset. I chose what I wanted to believe in.

3) Allow Myself to Feel, But Rise Again
I gave myself space to feel weak and cry when I needed to, but I never let that define me. My pain and tears were temporary, not my truth. I couldn't change my past, but I took full responsibility for my present and future. After every breakdown, I made sure to get up again and keep moving forward.

4) Avoid Triggers
I changed my environment by cutting off toxic relationships and letting go of anything that brought back bad memories. I replaced those with healthier social circles and activities that brought me happiness and peace.

5) Healthy Coping Mechanisms
I created a new SOP for handling emotions. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I turned to deep breathing, meditation, journaling, praying, drawing, or colouring. These became my tools to process emotions and stay grounded. I usually did them before I went to sleep.

6) Sleep Early
I made sleep a priority, going to bed as early as 10 pm. I found that sleeping late leads to a wandering mind and emotional vulnerability. Sleep became my sanctuary for mental recovery.

7) Take Supplements and Eat Healthy
I started taking pharmaceutical-grade supplements and ashwagandha (Indian ginseng), an adaptogen that helps regulate cortisol levels and reduces stress. I also focused on eating anti-inflammatory foods to support my body's recovery from stress-induced inflammation.

8) Do Things Slowly and Let Go of Petty Concerns
In situations like traffic jams, instead of getting frustrated, I turned those moments into opportunities for meditation, prayer, or gratitude exercises. Slowing down helped me keep my mind calm.

9) Simplify and Let Go of Overthinking
I stopped overthinking, which wasn’t easy at first. I used to obsess over worst-case scenarios, but I learned that overthinking only creates more problems. I accepted that 80% is good enough, and perfectionism no longer drives me.

10) Be Less Judgmental and See the Good
I stopped labeling my days as “good” or “bad” and learned to release judgment. Accepting things as they are brought me more peace. When I stopped having constant opinions about everything, my mind quieted down, and with that, my emotions became more balanced.


These changes transformed my life and helped me rise out of depression and anxiety. It started with a strong will and a firm decision to heal fully; took me about 2 years to fully heal, in my case.

There were relapses at first, but over time, the frequency, intensity and duration reduced. Then, one day, I just felt I was like a normal person again with stable emotions and positive thoughts, even during unforeseen challenges in life.

I feel happy and vibrant most of the time nowadays. My friends witnessed my change and said I looked prettier with glow on my face, compared to the sad gloomy look that I used to have.

Just sharing my personal journey.

THanks for sharing!

Referring to the writeup by @christychew,
A) mostly agree, I implement a lot of the same solution
B) however, if you have difficulty believing in yourself, which could be common, as you may not have achieved much in life. Then your logical mind may think, wait, what am I hanging on to, I wasn't a star student, athlete etc.
C) then do consider believing in something greater to yourself (ie big G). Whatever you believe in should embody great moral values, behaviour and infallible. Hang on to that instead or at least consider it.
D) just to put things in perspective, I was working in the Sap consulting industry and had a bit of success (before I had mental issue) . I could have fall back to the idea that I cna achieve the same again or choose to believe in a different "system"
E) as always, more ways to win is better

Focus on your body first. Your mind will be more at ease.

Particularly your gut health.

You can search on gut brain axis.
Leaky gut --leaky brain

To further add for everyone's benefit, positive affirmations don't have to be focused on personal strengths or achievements. They can be about good choices and good emotions that will help in the healing process.

Examples:

Can google positive affirmations specially for depression, anxiety, self-esteem, for men, for women, motivation, etc... a lot online.

*

For me, positive affirmations work because they help replace and reduce the negative self-talk I used to experience. For affirmations I truly believe in or feel are important, I print them out and paste them on the wall, or save them on my phone as images. I keep them somewhere visible and easily accessible, so when depressive or anxious episodes arise, I have something tangible to calm my chaotic mind.



Our brains and bodies are hardwired to survive, but they need the right tools and care to help us heal and thrive. Part of this healing journey is being kind and understanding with ourselves, instead of expecting to always be "up" or perfect all the time.

Totally agree with this statement 👍

Yea. Leaky gut very important.

I'm going through the exact same thing, my workout routine has been slacking a lot. I try my best to ignore that feeling but I find gaming to be something fulfilling in a way, it helps fill that empty hole in a void for me at least.

Good to hear you have found at least something fulfilling and hope it keeps you going. I have unfortunately even lost the mood to game. Nowadays I just do the mindless shopi, lesapda quests to farm coins, or stare into YouTube videos without knowing what I'm even watching

2 decades have been the same. Not joking or even pessimistic because this is fact for me. I look older and maybe a bit mature but other than everything is the same. I am not moving up in career. I took a more relaxing job after my first job. Too relaxing isn't so much better because our pay isn't on par with inflation.
I have been working out for some time but not seeing any improvement. Perhaps I should take it that going to the gym consistently is an improvement.

Depression and anxiety are mostly financial insecurity, if you have abundance, you won't be depressed, facts of life. So suggest pick up new skill, try, yes try first before you change to another profession that pay more

Another reason is cause by SO aka spouse, this one no suggestion, just good luck

This post has been edited by Kawekawe: Jan 15 2025, 11:44 AM