That's good though learning together with your kids, you seems like spending lots of quality times with them.

As for marriage, if i found the right women then let's do it. Else i'll just go travel the world, try different foods etc. Because TBH i'm kind of getting lazy and tired of finding love now that i'm in my mid 30s, sure i did say i can handle rejection but doesn't mean that i want to get rejected again and again. It still hurts though i know it only awhile, no normal human beings enjoy getting hurt.

I hope you do find love, if love is what you are looking for.

You sound like a very adventurous and interesting person.

I don't see why chicks don't dig you.

Face problems bro lol, anyway all jokes aside i talk to or treat womens with respect. A bit sense of humour but not too dark, no pervy talks or act or any negative things. Still failed, now i just too lazy to try again.

actually best chance to go after girls is at 21yo.

that's the time girls croon over you.

The trick is, don't go for those better looking once, they usually have higher expectations. Well imagine, you are highly in demand, whether by girls or by employers. Everyday recruiters call you, offer you high salaries and benefits, just like a pretty girl, so many men woo them, offer flowers, expensive gifts, shower her with love and they all fight each other for their capabilities and financial prowess.

So if you happen to find a girl very attractive, I can very bet you, another guy or guys would be going after her too. And if you're in her shoes, she be spoilt for choice, wanting to opt for the best of the best.

Thus, don't be too choosy, else you lose out. But obviously I am not advising you to go after a landwhale or someone you find very unattractive. What I am saying you should consider the girl's character other than her appearance.

its harder as you get older, I admit that, but not impossible, it can be done.

I have a relative that got married at 45yo, he now has 2 kids even though his wife was 38yo at time of marriage. No IVF.

Thanks for the advice but now my motivation is more on working out and get ripped, again for love if there’s one then fine else i don’t really care. Hey look at the bright side, at least i don’t have to suffer rejection right lol.

rejection is part n parcel of life.

without rejection, one can't learn.

I give an example of my friend in sales, kena rejected 100 leads, but he knows he has 20% success to turn it into sales.

of course, I not saying that find ur life partner = numbers game.

but it could work, because more people u meet, more higher chance of succes and finding out what kind of girl suits you. Just the issue is, how to find a platform that you can meet many girls n date them?

This really reminds me of my part time property agent work lol, yes there's only 3 out of 10 leads that really turned to sales.

Last year i did attend some speed dating event, pricing like 100++ per events with foods and drinks. Matched with few womens there but our conversation just went cold in texting, they never initiate the chat though and it was me who often initiate it. Not sure if this is the "boys must always initiate the first move" kind of thingy or what, TBH this is kind of exhausting and i feels like i'm the desperate one or a simp which i hated. Some of my buddies ask me to rejoin again this year, lol even the organiser been texting me to join their event again. If i have the time then why not right?

How was the man and women look in the event? Well probably some of you might be curious, i would say lower down your expectation for oppa or typical asian drama prtty ladies looks if you really going to this kind of events. To me they're average like most of us here, look decent, clean, tidy, neat and no funny smell. No sugar coating here, 3 out of 10 there kind of overweight as well.

I am not sure about speed dating, never been to one b4. But you also got to weigh success rate vs costs. If they are over charging, then its not worthwhile.

I heard these event organizers usually invite the girls by offering them some free vouchers to attend. Usually the supply of girls are fished via some promo event, maybe they were customers of some clothing co, some other event, then cross sell them to attend.

So, they aren't really in the look out for partners. Maybe by chance, if they found someone really interesting they may be eager to link with the guy.

It could be due to a supply and demand issue, the girls that the event seek, some of them (not all), may not be in the active look out. Just like when you try to go after some girl in the office, usually they are not keen even if they are single, because its a simple demand and supply. You maybe looking for a life partner but she's not in the mood or mode to look for at the office.

But problem in Msia is, there is a lack of platform to look for life partners. Prospects are kind of limited.

As I said, once for the guy not to take opportunity in their early 20s to go seek life partner, the prospects are harder. It was the best time, when I was 21yo, I took it for granted, I was looking more for freedom than to be tied down to relationships. All the close girl friends that I was with, I did not bother to link up with them, by the time I was looking for life partner, they were already taken. I could imagine the time I had with them one to one, having one to one study, going out for lunch dates, watching movies, giving them a lift to college, damn I didn't make my move. I only went for relationship in my 30s, fortunately I was lucky to have met my life partner later on.

This post has been edited by hoonanoo: Jan 21 2025, 12:16 PM

Wow now that you say so, that sounded kind of like a scam when they asking ladies join just to fill in the quota though most of them aren't interested to find a boyfriend. There are few events cost like 300++ to join, looking at the event agenda nothing special compares to other events. Just the place a bit fancy and serving alcoholic drinks, that's all. And those ladies went cold towards me, think again what you said they possibly those "invited" guest by the organiser and if so then the organiser really invited lots of ladies for this. They charging like 100++ per person and they have around 10 - 20 participants, quite amount of money they earned.

Oh well then, since i already paid for 1 event on february then i'll just go and talk to the ladies like usual, now that i'm having a sceptical mindset towards this kind of events after what you said just now lol.

yeah that's got to be a way to lure the ladies to come to this type of events. If let say, they want to lure ladies who are looking actively for life partners, the mix would most likely to be not so desirable for guys. Usually ladies who have a decent chance to find life partner due to better looks, I could be wrong, wont come for this, due to embarassment and the likes.

So maybe event organizers try to get a better mix by offering promotions and freebies to girls to come.

But I say lah, the fact is this, if you try to fight for your dream, the harder it gets, there be a lot of obstacles along the way. That's how its like, things don't come to you in a silver platter. Maybe some people are lucky but some people need to fight through a barrage of obstacles to get what they want.

But hey at least you tried....but remember this, insanity is trying the same thing over n over again, expecting the same results.

that as quoted by Albert EInstein.

Oh brother, that's why i suffer depression expecting she be changed her mind and picked me instead. Learned this the hard way...

Last time we have 15 mens and 15 womens in christian single event, i get 5 matches but i didn't contact them all. Not because of they're not pretty or attractive, don't get me wrong. Just that during our conversation there at the event, they(my matches) shared 1 common which is looking for a christian man that is a frequent church goers. Too bad i'm not really a frequent church goer though i'm a christian, so i decided not waste their time.

This post has been edited by Napalm_man: Jan 21 2025, 05:13 PM

I heard there is a catholic dating website. I never use before, I am not catholic.

But I have a friend who migrated to Australia, he met his catholic gf who is a filipino based in Spore working. So they got connected n LDR for 2 years, before she married him and joined him in Australia.

I thought christians too serious, never thought they have speed dating event. I have a lot of pentecostal christian friends who are in their 30s and 40s not married. So hard for them to find a life partner.

Some of them so active in church, can play guitar, drums and piano, still cannot find life partner. Although I know their purpose is to serve and not go there find gf. But I really find that some churches so mengabaikan the family ministry, some non believers share with me, they began to look down on the church because they felt the church why so neglect marriage ministry one? everyday want to attract new believers, but isn't family important?

Sorry to say, I am not saying that all church are like that, I don't want christians to villify me but sometimes I observe my christian friends talk to me about good conduct being good and honest. Yes most of them are, but I also found that they are all very eager to find family and have children, just that it is so hard to find for them. Wihch is to me, is a big surprise, because isn't a man who can lead family and raise good kids are a measure of good conduct and example of a christian?

Is okay to explore less stressful career if all these while you have been stressful with your job. Not good long term. But too free like me is not good either. I used to stress out with my first job. I had anxiety every morning before going to work. But now, I would like to have a balance work life.

Good to be men. At least they could choose to date someone their age if they dont want kids or younger if they want kids.

For women, only older men. The same age ones would usually go for younger women..

21 days have passed since NY. Everything is still the same. I still dont have the courage to do the things I wanted to do out of fear. I am growing tired, demotivated. I feel hollow at my worst. Even Xanax cant help me to sleep. The things that got me to sleep is by overthinking the whole day.

About the keep attracting new believer, yes i did encountered that. Why am i not a frequent church goer is that TBH i really cannot tahan religious people, kind of extremism and i kid you not. The church i use to go usually married people with children, hard to see people in 20s 30s who are still single. Whenever i go to the church though not frequent, i did my parts and i left. Small talks yes but just a quick one, no deep conversation. No bro i don't blame you for sharing your stories from another christian as i do encountered this before, sadly it's true.

Me personally i keep religion all by myself, i don't talk about it unless people ask me. I don't mind marrying women from other religion than christian except muslim because they are much more complicated, if i ever marry a buddhist for example then i don't mind if my wife stick to buddhist and put altar in our home. For our kids i would prefer them decide when they mature enough, follow daddy as christian or mommy as buddhist. Many people misconcept that christian people will be asking their partner to change their fate which i don't blame them since some christian does, there's no law stated we christian must do this after married same as other religions at least from what i know except islam.

What medication and sleep medication are you taking btw? If you are taking any class of Antidepressant, don't try to quit in your own. Antidepressant withdrawal is terrible and could be dangerous.

I am currently on daily antidepressant Desvenfalaxine regiment and occasional Zolpidem for sleep for anxiety and sleep issue. I think i am diagnosed for like 5-7 years already.

Hey sis, tell me you are not taking Clonazepam daily right?

Clonazepam is strictly for occasional use. I hope you don't take Clonazepam daily.

This.

I missed my appointment date twice and GH psychiatric department called me why i didn't came for my appointment.

Actually there r a lot of single christian in their 30s and 40s.

But the way I look at it, I think you should find yourself a non christian or a not very committed one.

I do understand some of their logic, in finding a fellow christian for marriage. Families wants to do things together. Its kind of ought when families split up when doing activities. I give an example of my friend whose mother and sister are christians whereas his father and 2 brothers are buddhist. During family the christian side pray before meal while the non christians immediately eat. When every sunday go to church mom bring my friend n his sister while the brothers go play football and father go shop groceries alone.

So when a family is doing different things, it is very divisive.

Last few days I do take clonazepam straight few days. Yes I know it's for when needed.

I stopped my brintellix from yesterday. My dr say ok to try if I able to control my emotions. Because medications have been numbed my feeling and I'm too fatigue for the past 14 days.