I have a senior in uni, I think I'm into her, I want try to pursue her. She seems ok with talking to me and I have talked to her a few times since I first met her in orientation, but no more. This fish seems to be really damn big, I don't want the line to snap.

But then one problem is when it comes to making friends I am total gone case. I haven't actively tried making friends ever before in my life, I always wait until people talk to me. I eventually realized that I only talk to certain people that I know is because I am comfortable with them, that I am severely introverted. So I tried just choosing to be comfortable with people. Doing that I just talk to people like I already know them, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. So I want to learn how to make friend properly.

Another problem is that she's in year2 while I am year1. So not much chances to talk other than during events and when I see her around in school.

Yet another problem is my personality, I am not very talkative. Every time I pass by a place where she frequents, I often have to think of something to ask before entering the area so if I do see her I have something to say rather than just blanking out.

But so far my plan is to just keep talking to her until I eventually get close enough that she wouldn't reject me. But more and more this does not seem possible since there are so few events, and very often when I do see her around she's studying with her friend group, so many people I too shy to approach. Another thing is that I know some of her friends as well so I feel that if I see her with other people I know, I have to talk to all of them to not seem like an asshole.

So how do I catch fish?

This post has been edited by Police4896: Oct 27 2024, 04:10 PM

Your natural way is inefficient amd frankly waste too much time.

The way to do it is you ask her directly for a date.

If she says no, be cool about it. Maybe try again after a while.

you have alot of work to do before you want to "chase" any girl.

Dont talk to much please. Sorry, no trying to offend you. Girl like to listen only to "Brilliant Man Talk", and Girl hates "Dumb conversation with Man", They only love dumb sissy talk among girl.

another reminder.

Girl hates man ask alot question about her.
But.. if they interested about you, they ask alot question.


I see alot dumb man, when chasing the girl they like, they bombard them with question like their mom.

This post has been edited by ifourtos: Oct 28 2024, 01:33 PM

Dei.....you answered all your questions.....why asking here.....

Women like to communicate....so talk more..... keep it going....

Just be direct and ask her out. You both are in talking terms already. Just keep the conversation going.

If she reject, then move on to the next. Learn from this rejection and next woman liao......

One two years difference is not a major factor.

But my problem right now is that I talk too little, sometimes I talk a bit then awkward silence. So how? Have to learn how to do interesting monologue?

This post has been edited by Police4896: Oct 28 2024, 04:11 PM

Your word, your talk is just a product of your knowledge, life experience and maturity

Like spending power, if u rich, spend on them. If not, don't spend.

SAME for conversation.

Grow up faster, experience life deeper
University is a bad place for man to grow up.

MAN only ascend in tough challenge

I agree with comment about talk less. Dating is about letting the girl talk more than u. Maybe 70-30.

Learn to listen attentively and ask questions. Make comments, encourage her and dont be afraid to laugh with and even at her if u noticed she is saying something silly.

As for awkwardness feeling, a lot of it is in your head. Be relaxed and chill. Dont overthink. Girl tend to mirror you. If you are very relaxed, she tend to be the same, relaxed.

And silent moments are normal. People in love sometimes just look at each other in the eyes for a long time and say nothing. So silence is not weird.

ok got it, if i am in date with her i just let her talk and just chill out, easy enough. usually when i talk to her shes the one monologuing, because everytime i just ask her about school stuff and she always has a lot to say. but then the problem is even when i try to small talk with her usually a bit awkward as well, can tell from facial expression she does not really enjoy talking to me, probably just okok no feeling, how to fix? i can try to joke but only when other ppl are around since i have more material to build on, if im the only one there then dont know how.

actually very often my conversations with friends is just 1 line interjecting jokes when other ppl are talking, i really have to learn

This post has been edited by Police4896: Oct 29 2024, 01:09 AM

Make sure you don't fall into the friendzone, and this happens by trying to be her "friend" first.

As a man, when you're chasing a woman you have to do it with intention and make sure that intention is clear. Anything less is unattractive as a partner.

ok thanks, so far i have done no.1 and 3 in this thread https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1111256, and might have done no.2. but the number of times i have done any of these can count on half a hand since i dont have much chance to talk to her. i think next time i should compliment her on looks or something, since she always dresses really trendily. if i do this is it enough? without straight up asking her out for a date, because i think right now she would reject since shes really busy with studies

Dei, how many compliments you think she gets in a day? If she's pretty & trendy, that's pretty much a normal tuesday for her.

Asking her out directly is the best way.

Yes, you may get rejected, and because of your inexperience the probability is very high. Though you'd be surprised how the awkwardness + courage is endearing to women. Either way, the chances of a direct approach is much higher than whatever it is you're doing now.

Though its much better if you go out and practice on other people first. Not saying you should date other people, but go out and randomly talk to strangers. Can even start with guys and then work your way up to women.
You need to build the self confidence so that its natural when you do actually ask someone you really like out.

Purposely bump into her in uni if you know where she likes to go. Give more genuine expression when talking but not overdo it

I was in your shoes during my earlier days of studying. Dont waste those years man, if you want to improve your social skills just try and do it as earlier as you can. Unless you will be working in communication related field later, most of the time you wouldnt have much time to socialize after you went out from the school

and i saw those introverted and shy term you labelled yourself, i would say those are fucking bullshit man, same as horoscope or personality test. Don't limit your potentials.

The secret is u need to be outstanding so that she wants to talk to u. U see everyone wants to be friends with superstar and no one wants a strawberry.

Damn i really gotta say thats skill issue

Dont only follow steps to chase a girl, focus on how to link with strangers, or any girls

Do u have female friends? Just ask them out to chill with u or go around somewhere, as a friend, and try to communicate with them like how u would if u r bringing a girl on a date

Make friends with anyone n just go with the flow ur good

Also, read some books, those provide concepts, not just steps

talk to more girls from dating app

First of all TS, how much you willing to play the game??

Moment you express your interests: it could trigger a competition.

Is she pretty? lots of fanboys?

I always think the best pursuits are those that you get a girl who is interested to stick with you as she notices your personality and wants to be closer to you due to your attractiveness.

Just be yourself and don’t overthink it.

Be rich

basically women like these traits in men

- confidence
- taking the lead
- rich or can afford many things (despite whatever denial by some that money is not important, at the end of the day money will definitely take you places)
- sociable (if you are quiet, then you need to start talking)

most importantly, don't listen to the advice - "just be yourself".

If yourself is poor and introverted, you need to change la.

Work harder, socialise around, and start talking.

So, don't listen to the advice - "just be yourself"