you have alot of work to do before you want to "chase" any girl.

Dont talk to much please. Sorry, no trying to offend you. Girl like to listen only to "Brilliant Man Talk", and Girl hates "Dumb conversation with Man", They only love dumb sissy talk among girl.

another reminder.

Girl hates man ask alot question about her.
But.. if they interested about you, they ask alot question.
I see alot dumb man, when chasing the girl they like, they bombard them with question like their mom.

Your word, your talk is just a product of your knowledge, life experience and maturity

Like spending power, if u rich, spend on them. If not, don't spend.

SAME for conversation.

Grow up faster, experience life deeper
University is a bad place for man to grow up.

MAN only ascend in tough challenge

I agree with comment about talk less. Dating is about letting the girl talk more than u. Maybe 70-30.

Learn to listen attentively and ask questions. Make comments, encourage her and dont be afraid to laugh with and even at her if u noticed she is saying something silly.

As for awkwardness feeling, a lot of it is in your head. Be relaxed and chill. Dont overthink. Girl tend to mirror you. If you are very relaxed, she tend to be the same, relaxed.

And silent moments are normal. People in love sometimes just look at each other in the eyes for a long time and say nothing. So silence is not weird.

Make sure you don't fall into the friendzone, and this happens by trying to be her "friend" first.

As a man, when you're chasing a woman you have to do it with intention and make sure that intention is clear. Anything less is unattractive as a partner.

Dei, how many compliments you think she gets in a day? If she's pretty & trendy, that's pretty much a normal tuesday for her.

Asking her out directly is the best way.

Yes, you may get rejected, and because of your inexperience the probability is very high. Though you'd be surprised how the awkwardness + courage is endearing to women. Either way, the chances of a direct approach is much higher than whatever it is you're doing now.

Though its much better if you go out and practice on other people first. Not saying you should date other people, but go out and randomly talk to strangers. Can even start with guys and then work your way up to women.
You need to build the self confidence so that its natural when you do actually ask someone you really like out.

Purposely bump into her in uni if you know where she likes to go. Give more genuine expression when talking but not overdo it

I was in your shoes during my earlier days of studying. Dont waste those years man, if you want to improve your social skills just try and do it as earlier as you can. Unless you will be working in communication related field later, most of the time you wouldnt have much time to socialize after you went out from the school

and i saw those introverted and shy term you labelled yourself, i would say those are fucking bullshit man, same as horoscope or personality test. Don't limit your potentials.

The secret is u need to be outstanding so that she wants to talk to u. U see everyone wants to be friends with superstar and no one wants a strawberry.

Damn i really gotta say thats skill issue

Dont only follow steps to chase a girl, focus on how to link with strangers, or any girls

Do u have female friends? Just ask them out to chill with u or go around somewhere, as a friend, and try to communicate with them like how u would if u r bringing a girl on a date

Make friends with anyone n just go with the flow ur good

Also, read some books, those provide concepts, not just steps

Based on your updates,

I feel like you're in limbo now.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably find someone else to pursue; she does not seem interested.

While you're at it, communicate more and learn some social skills so that when you approach someone else in the future, you'll be better.

All the best TS, if you want to still pursue her, I think still got chance. But not high la.

TS, don't you think whatever you are doing contradicts the title vs. your action + impatience?

You put such a high expectation & desire; don't you feel suffocated & burdened with such expectations on yourself? Don't you think you are putting so much burden of expectation on the opponent to reciprocate? The more you expect, the more you will act unnaturally because you care so much until you forget to interact.

Why not lower the expectation from such a high expectation to nothingness? Don't expect it; if things turn out positive, isn't it a bonus? Wouldn't your conversation & interaction be more natural & carefree?

If you think you have a long way to go, does raising the topic about Valentine's Day sound wise? Isn't it akin to an indirect yet an obvious confession?

21 y.o., go hit more walls, gain more experience. You got mountains to climb & seas to cross.

3 months and absolutely no progress.

Be a man and ask her out on a date. Be a man and accpet rejection gracefully if it comes to that.

And no, dont ask her out on valentines day. Thats increase chance of rejection.

If she wants to reject you she'll reject you no matter whether you guys are close or not.

Just be upfront with your intentions.

Dude, I can't help but feel this was a hint for you to invite her out?

Why are you asking her if she's going clubbing? Just take her la!

Speaking from someone in 30s who had 2 years-long crushes, I'd say the rejections are lessons/motivations for a better future you

More specifically, when my first love rejected me, I was still immature then so I didn't really improve myself much as I wallowed in self despair thinking how unlovable I was, I continued with that self fulfilling prophecy.

The last big crush I had lasted a few years and it was also when I was having hard times in life. I guess the hard times was what I needed for me to change my inner voice to stop the self negativity as the first step. I started talking to myself literally to get to know myself, and there I knew more things I wanted to change and it just kind happened. I'm glad he rejected me that day because I wouldn't be where I am today otherwise. I mean, yeah those years were painful, but time healed me and now I can talk about it again with just slight nostalgia, no sadness.

Good luck and come what may, you have a long life ahead of you.

Oh my young padawan... you are just making excuses to protect your ego from being hurt by rejection. Losing sight that the reward of success is ripe for the taking if you only had the courage to fail.

Terus terang tell you, we man are f`king stupid when it comes to this ok. I look back at the countless signals I got and totally ignored or convinced myself otherwise in the past; feel really bodoh, thankfully I learnt over time.

Simple fact is, you were once invited to go clubbing. So you're already vetted as "person who want to get closer with". You keep asking when she's going is you being really passive, so if she's interested in going with you... you're not giving her the opportunity to follow your lead.

Stop making excuses and be distracted by "other targets". You have someone who's really your target, then just go for it. Your best chances of success is if you're sincere and committed. If you fail, so be it. Its not the end of the world, but at least you gave your best. You will learn from the experience.

Continue down this path, and you'll always be full of indecision and self-doubt. Even if you succeed with other targets, it won't last or work out. Your confidence will not be built because you will chicken out again when it really matters.

Choose wisely.

My child. She cramp today you buy dark chocolate for her the next day. And fail to give her. Are you some special kind of stupid? Or you retarded? Ok fine you won’t know you’re retarded if you were. So I tell you, you’re retarded.

You laosai today, tomorrow I give you medicine. You lao finish already loh! Give you medicine for what?
Yes she will be in your bed last century when you not there. You didn’t even give her the dark chocolate. She not feeling well you did nothing for her. You inch forward to where? Your head against the wall?

Hahaha damn hilarious omg. You feel not doing anything for her is progress.

This style of overthinking is delaying your progress.

Girl u fancy sitting alone, with no friends around?

Best opening bro...U just go and say hi. Then ask.if she wants coffee, she might say yes and u have a coffee date. If she says no or ignore u then just laugh it and say ok next time, or if she says she looks not well,  offer if u can get anything. She probably say no need, then u just say hope she GWS, smile and back off.

Oh and the cat is also a good conversation starter/opening.

You every week inch forward like this, by the time you get her in bed she'll be 80 years old already
Dude, he's definitely more pro than you. Your ego is hurt now by what he said because, deep down you know IT IS TRUE. That's why your response here is so damn defensive. Don't go lecturing him on knowing women when you haven't even held hands with one

If I saw a FRIEND (regardless male/female), sitting alone and uncomfortable. I would approach them to see how they are doing and see if there is anything I can do AT THAT MOMENT to alleviate their suffering. Even if it just means sitting there by their side saying/doing nothing... just to show solidaty/support that they are not alone. That is what someone who truly cares would do. All you've really shown is that you put your fragile ego above her well-being. Don't even start talking about being a potential partner, right now you are failing even as a friend.

And you should ask her back, how about you? If she say no, ask her why not? Then you know all the reasons she will use to reject you. If she says yes, then you ask her why she still single, what's stopping her, then you will know all the reasons she needs to be a couple.

Great, you asked her out, HOW HARD WAS THAT LA FFS.

Don't text her everyday, don't reply immediately if she text you -- simmer for an hour or 2 and said you were doing homework, gym, just don't make yourself available to her and standby like a dog. Don't do stupid thing like good morning, have you eaten text, that gets you in friend zone faster than light speed.

NOW? Act cool for the next few days. Raya right? Let it simmer for 3 or 4 days. And then tell her "hey I really enjoyed your company and the conversation we had that day, let's do it again, do you like <cafe> <mamak> <whatever la she likes>, let's check out <place> together. BEST if you talk to her FACE to FACE so you can see her reaction. And always keep a smile on.

Text gives people time to sit on it. Whereas face to face she has to make a decision there and then. If you're nice, she won't have any reason to reject you.

Edit: bonus point because I’m in a good mood
When you don’t immediately make yourself available to reply her text. You don’t always do stupid thing like “good morning” “eat already or not” text

It shows you have a life and better things to do other than layan her (think about it the other way around, if you have no life you’re not interesting and nobody wants to be with an uninteresting person).

So when you ask her out, she will grab that opportunity to talk to you more because you’re not always available. And compared to every other pussy, you ask her to a face with real interaction.

Wow ..dinner..seriously? How did that happen?

Just say it la, tell her directly, if not bye bye 😘🔥

YAY! Finally!
For your level, this is ok la.
Eh eh eh... stop this overthinking.

With most people, doing some reflection/post-mortem is a good thing. Not for you though.. you need to practice being in the moment more.
Told you many times already... approach with intent and make it clear.

Men are friendzoned because they have no balls to approach and hope the girl will reciprocate their actions. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

You know what gives you a higher chance of success? Being rejected and moving on. Sounds illogical, but that's the truth of the matter.

EDIT: Saw this, and pretty much shows what your future is going to be like if you continue on your "take it slow" path

Bro "without noticing what's going on" this is creepy as fuck, are you scheming to drug her? Mf "in my bed" bro you self testing your drugs?
Jokes aside, don't assume when a lady has menstruation or not, you aren't a doctor and you also can't assume what one likes to eat. Not all ladies like dark chocolate.
I find it borderline offensive you're assuming a lot of things about women. There may be a hint of truth in any stereotypes, but it never defines the whole demographic/situation. In case you don't Google hard enough, I'll have you know:
Not all women have period cramps.
Not all women have period cramps of 3 days. I personally have 1 bad day but I don't need painkillers. Many of my lady friends have just 1 bad day too.
Not all women say things they don't mean.
Even the women who say things they don't mean, sometimes no means no.
See bold parts. That's literally what you've been doing all this while. You kept looking for excuses to talk to her and everything was just questions, advice wanted, ask this ask that. If she likes to teach them maybe it's nice, but it sure doesn't paint you as a reliable, independent person.
You don't have to be who you are not. Just try your best to say what you want, and that in itself is already an act of courage. Even if you fumble in the process, you would've already practised and a few more times you'll get used to it.


Shut it. Just. Ask. Her. Out.

If she asks why, just be honest you wanna spend time with her. If she asks why so sudden, again just be honest: you wanna say what you mean for once. You might fumble, but people can tell when someone if nervous, and if she doesn't hate you then she'll give you the time and space you need to man up.

If got exam la assignment la whatever la, just keep suggesting a date until she confirms or firmly rejects. The way I read this now, you're way too awkward with girls to read signals correctly, so DO NOT ASSUME, just be straightforward and allow her to be direct too -- for example, if she says no and refuses to give any alternative after you asked, then that is a very clear no, nothing more nothing less. Don't harass her, and don't assume you're the problem.

FINALLY, DONT PUT HER ON A PEDESTAL  Relationship is two-way and she's not a perfect person. Who knows you find out later if she's bipolar, or whatever other issues? Just get to know her better so you also know whether you both are suited for each other.

Consider what rooster?

You know you overthinking. And now you want to indulge in your overthinking. We all no time lah. Fast 7 a bit can?

She busy so what? Just go up to her and say “hey you’ve been so swamped and busy, need time out also, how about we go check out <cool new chill cafe> this weekend.”

Bloody hell, take every single opportunity you get. How you know she busy? Maybe she purposely pretend busy so she don’t look like she’s been sitting around whole day for you to show up. Can you stop pondan already?

Walk up to them, SMILE, tell the person she’s with sorry, can I steal her for a minute from you.

Talk to her, with the sentence I gave you. She says yes/ok. Look back at the person she’s with, say thank you to him/her and “she’s all yours”.

SMILE, be polite and courteous but confident.

Oh my god do I need to teach you how to be a polite human being? What’s wrong with your generation?

Edit: the person she’s with is her friend teman her wait for you so she don’t appear desperately sitting there alone waiting for you. Understand? You stupid or what?