i have continued texting her over the past few weeks, mostly about philosophy since thats what she likes to talk about. at first it was hard to stay sane but now i think ok, more jaded, no feeling dy. so i think since she doesnt mind then i continue stay as friend first then see how. since friend only nothing stopping me from finding another girl.

one thing i was right about was that she sees me as a junior, since previously the dynamic was she keep explaining thing to me. i thought i was doing the correct move by being a good listener, so now i am changing my approach to be more confident. i am expressing more of my views to her so i seem more independent and capable, so far through the texting.

but i think something i said a few days ago really pissed her off since she left me on read. so i texted again, not apologizing but i think more like explaining my reasoning for saying the thing i said. been 2 days so far. see whether she leave me on read again. i wont see her until next sem start at end july. im sure something will happen before then, but have to see.

but also somehow i feel that shes the kind to get a kick out of rejecting ppl. if thats the case, and if i dont mind being a total sohai, i should keep being friends but at some point when friendship solid dy, then suddenly ghost her. maybe ill try, but idw hurt her. but only if she wants to be friends, but idk.