I shouted through the door, "Thanks for the groceries, just leave on the gate."

Wife.. "Just let me in the fucking house Dave."

lol, took me a while to recognize

They're really taking this coronavirus crackdown serious here.
I've just been stopped at a roadblock with armed police!

One of them pointed a gun at me and shouted,
"Come out with your hands sanitized!"

Ban Nutella.

Help stop the spread.

I got down on one knee, middle of the busy restaurant and pulled out the ring.

The whole place was in tears.

“Marry me... and I’ll put it back in the grenade.”

That twist lol

Let's see:

I'm at home.

I waste hours on the internet.

I binge watch TV.

I have food delivered.

Fuck me -- I've become a Millenial.

Another sympton of Covid-19 is that it makes your hair grow longer

Finally after eleven years I nervously popped the question, and she made me the happiest man on Earth by saying yes.

We start divorce proceedings tomorrow.

Thanks for making covid 19 more bearable by continuing the jokes.

This is a joke only married men will appreciate

and married women as well

Thanks to Covid-19, my journey time to work has been considerably shortened.

I lost my job last week.

Domestos, kills 99% of germs.

Also effective against Trump supporters

I was being examined by my colonologist and he said:
"Mr Jemin, you have very serious anal tearing that needs to be repaired.
Mr Jemin you have very serious anal tearing that needs to be repaired."

I said "There was no need to repeat yourself doc"
And he replied, " I didn't that was the echo".

Ooooooooooh.

I was being examined by my colonologist and he said:
"Mr Jemin, you have very serious anal tearing that needs to be repaired.
Mr Jemin you have very serious anal tearing that needs to be repaired."

I said "There was no need to repeat yourself doc"
And he replied, " I didn't that was the echo".

Ooooooooooh.

I don't understand this modern obsession with shaved pubes, both female and male.

In my day it was part of foreplay to pick the hairs from each other's teeth.

Is that an echo also xd

My cousin is gay.

While other kids were dissecting frogs in school, he was opening flies.

Which flies?

Own, or others?

(not flies eaten by frogs eh? )

it's plural, so I am guessing should be others? how many does his own pants have? LOL