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Relationship Joke v3
TSaLittleMisfit
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Aug 27 2020, 09:33 PM
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Barely married a fortnight, a young bride phones her mother and wastes 20 minutes with aimless chatter. Her mother suspects there must be ‘marital’ difficulties and does her best to discern the problem. Eventually the young bride blurts out... Bride ”Mum......he’s got.......he’s got..” Mum “He’s got what....some strange peccadillos ?” Bride “No mum, it’s nothing like that” Mum “Has he got another woman ?” Bride “No mum.....he’s got......he’s got terrible dandruff” Mum breathes a sigh of relief “Give him Head and Shoulders love” Bride sobs for a couples minutes. “Mum.....I don’t know how to give shoulder!”
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Ewww!
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Aug 29 2020, 01:49 AM
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Ewww!
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Aug 29 2020, 02:10 AM
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Aug 29 2020, 08:57 AM
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I recently lost my sex drive.
Or to put it more accurately, those fucking idiots at PC World recently lost my sex drive.
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Ewww!
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Aug 30 2020, 06:47 AM
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Ewww!
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Aug 30 2020, 11:44 PM
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hizperion
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Sep 3 2020, 01:14 AM
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QUOTE(Ewww! @ Sep 3 2020, 12:15 AM) This was my first time » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Sep 15 2020, 10:53 PM
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The other day my friend said to me, “What would you do if your internet history became public knowledge?”
“I’d probably have to leave home,” I replied.
“And where would you go?” he asked.
“Prison,” I said.
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Sep 16 2020, 09:38 PM
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Ex-Spurs forward, Darren Bent, announced on BBC Sport that he owns 1000 pairs of shoes.
I always wondered why they called him bent.
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Sep 22 2020, 02:54 PM
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I walked into my local bookstore wearing a clown’s outfit and said to the girl behind the counter “ Do you have the ‘Best of Relationship Joke’ in stock?”
“ A pathetic attempt at humour “ she said.
“Yes that’s the one “ I said.
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Ewww!
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Oct 14 2020, 12:37 AM
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Ewww!
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Oct 17 2020, 11:32 PM
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Ewww!
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Oct 17 2020, 11:33 PM
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Oct 18 2020, 08:24 AM
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Nine medical tests you can do yourself.
Wander into the back garden and piss on your neighbour’s fence (again).
If it dries quickly, you have high sodium (salt) levels and pending heart problems. If it attracts ants your sugar level is too high and you might be diabetic. If your piss is dark and of limited quantity, you are dehydrated. If your stream didn’t reach the fence, you have a prostrate problem. If it is bright pink you have kidney problems. If you forgot to get your knob out and you pissed your pants, you have Alzheimer’s. If you missed the fence you have Parkinson’s. If your stream smells meaty, your cholesterol level is far too high. If you can’t smell your urine, you have Coronavirus.
Have a good day.
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Ewww!
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Oct 19 2020, 11:36 PM
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Oct 21 2020, 08:59 PM
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"I would advise that you turn up to work wearing a mask," I said to my staff.
"Because of the coronavirus?" He asked.
I said, "No, because you're very ugly."
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Oct 25 2020, 12:19 PM
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Disgusted to see the government think feeding my kids is not their responsibility!
Sent from my iPhone 12.
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TSaLittleMisfit
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Oct 28 2020, 11:30 PM
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My next door neighbor knocked on my door wearing just a see through negligee, asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then winked at me and asked to come in for a cup of coffee.
I said . . . " Fuck off Dave".
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