this is win

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years--say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight, much energized, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it.

So lets start romancing by having an affair!

Recover from breakup


It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings.

But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

All that will prepare you to face another breakup.

I have been reading this section for many days now and i cant stop laughing! good jokes! keep it coming!

Q: How do you stop an heartbroken person from drowning?

A: Give him/her a tissue.

Dedicated to aLittleMisifit, you're not alone

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, ohhh

Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

And now back to the jokes please enough of emo crap.

oh noes.... it's tht time of the month again, our misfit get into emo-mode

lol, spoken like a true devoted follower of this thread.

u all think i pms ar?

I tot your uncle came'd.

indeed i am

Losing the lot


A woman who plays cards once a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

"Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"

Lol, strip poker

---

Added on December 23, 2008, 10:10 pmHarry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "Shit. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."

She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE penis.

She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?

This post has been edited by leetplayer: Dec 23 2008, 10:10 PM

Amber: Oh, come on. Please?

Fred: No. Leave me alone.

Amber: It won't take too long.

Fred: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Amber: I can't sleep without it.

Fred: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Amber: Because I'm HOT.

Fred: You get hot at the damndest times.

Amber: If you loved me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Fred: If you loved *me* you'd be more considerate.

Amber: You don't love me any more.

Fred: Yeah I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Amber: (sob-sob)

Fred: (aaarrgh) Alright, I'll do it.

Amber: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Fred: I can't *find* it.

Amber: Oh, for God's sake, FEEL for it.

Fred: There. I got it. Satisfied?

Amber: Oh, God, yes!

Fred: Next time you want the window opened, do it yourself.

One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted to commit suicide but unfortunately she did not know where her heart was.

So the old woman calls up her doctor and asked,''Where's my heart located?''

''On a woman, it's usually located under her left breast,'' the doctor replied.

The next day the woman was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a gun shot wound to the knee.

that is way imbalance

To get out of depression, you need a good relationship.

To have a good relationship, you need to avoid depression.

As long as you don't give up, your persistence will eventually be rewarded.