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 Relationship Joke

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TSaLittleMisfit
post Dec 29 2008, 01:48 PM

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WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?


A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.

So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."

So off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."

Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"

So off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.

After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?"

"Warming up your supper!" she replies.
happy_wei
post Dec 29 2008, 04:10 PM

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tq aLittleMisfit ! i've good laugh n great day. thanks. ^^ laugh.gif
akiraceo
post Dec 30 2008, 12:03 PM

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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 29 2008, 01:48 PM)
WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.

So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."

So off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."

Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"

So off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.

After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?"

"Warming up your supper!" she replies.
*
wahahahaha
warming up the food XD...

what if the husband wants something cold for a change O.o
SUSwilsonjay
post Dec 30 2008, 12:28 PM

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QUOTE(akiraceo @ Dec 30 2008, 12:03 PM)
wahahahaha
warming up the food XD...

what if the husband wants something cold for a change O.o
*
hug the aircond XD
MyKy44
post Dec 31 2008, 04:16 AM

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QUOTE(wilsonjay @ Dec 30 2008, 12:28 PM)
hug the aircond XD
*
lol lol laugh.gif
TSaLittleMisfit
post Dec 31 2008, 02:28 PM

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New Year Countdown


On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
TSaLittleMisfit
post Dec 31 2008, 05:49 PM

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This year resolution

To be good in love...................

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
BaZooKa
post Dec 31 2008, 09:18 PM

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u got so many jokes!!!!!!
rebelsoul76
post Jan 1 2009, 09:25 PM

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A guy had been waiting all week to go fishing on the weekend so come saturday he's up at 5.am, has breakfast and quietly backs the boat out of the garage.
While he eats he listens to the weather forecast for the day..Rain, sleet, snow. He decides to still go so hitches the boat up, packs his gear and quietly drives off. He gets half way to the boat ramp and it begins to rain. Then it gets really heavy. By the time he gets to the ramp it is a mix of snow and rain and he can't see 5 feet infront of him so he decides to call the day off and go back home.
On arriving home he unhitches the boat and puts it and his fishing gear away. He goes to the bedroom where his wife is still asleep, undresses and snuggles in behind her, thoughts of fishing gone and other things on his mind. "That weather out there is absolutely shocking" he whispers in her ear. "Yeah, can you believe my husband is out there fishing in that shit....
WhiteMaker
post Jan 1 2009, 09:34 PM

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aLittleMisfit, can you repost the "sad joke" something to do with "wheat field"?
Coz I seems cannot find back the old joke anymore sad.gif
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 2 2009, 09:22 AM

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what wheat field? forget already....

but if sad, can post your sad story here... we treat it as joke and laugh... so no more sad lo....

Added on January 2, 2009, 11:20 ambut if it really make you feel better.... the link here http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/398704/+1580

Added on January 2, 2009, 5:35 pmTaking Every Precaution


"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.

"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.

"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Jan 2 2009, 05:35 PM
simchi
post Jan 2 2009, 10:20 PM

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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 29 2008, 01:48 PM)
WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.

So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."

So off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."

Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"

So off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.

After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?"

"Warming up your supper!" she replies.
*
Is this the love diet?
allinuff
post Jan 3 2009, 05:07 AM

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QUOTE(rebelsoul76 @ Jan 1 2009, 09:25 PM)
A guy had been waiting all week to go fishing on the weekend so come saturday he's up at 5.am, has breakfast and quietly backs the boat out of the garage.
While he eats he listens to the weather forecast for the day..Rain, sleet, snow. He decides to still go so hitches the boat up, packs his gear and quietly drives off. He gets half way to the boat ramp and it begins to rain. Then it gets really heavy. By the time he gets to the ramp it is a mix of snow and rain and he can't see 5 feet infront of him so he decides to call the day off and go back home.
On arriving home he unhitches the boat and puts it and his fishing gear away. He goes to the bedroom where his wife is still asleep, undresses and snuggles in behind her, thoughts of fishing gone and other things on his mind. "That weather out there is absolutely shocking" he whispers in her ear. "Yeah, can you believe my husband is out there fishing in that shit....
*
She's got one hell of explaining to do...
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 3 2009, 11:28 AM

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Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his wives?

Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
AnotherStranger
post Jan 5 2009, 07:06 AM

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From: In the land for worshipers of Flizzardo
1) Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).

2) Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

3) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

4) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Master's.

5) Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger, and two under the man's eyes.

6) Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

7) Marriage is not just a having a wife but also worries inherited forever.

8) Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-ring
* The Endu-ring

9) Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

10) It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

11) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

12) It's true that all men are born free and equal-but some of them get MARRIED!

13) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

14) A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

15) Conversations between son & father:
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

Added on January 5, 2009, 7:07 am 16) There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

17) Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

18) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

19) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

20) There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

21) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. (Irwin Corey)

22) When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. (Epperson's law)

23) Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. (Ray Bandy)

24) The more I know about men, the more I like dogs. (Gloria Allred, feminist attorney, 1995)

25) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created. (Anonymous)

26) If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. (Chekhov)

27) Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. (Woody Allen)

28) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life. But a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife. (Al Bundy)

29) If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. ( Johnny Carson)

30) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. (Al Bundy)

31) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. (Agatha Christie)

This post has been edited by AnotherStranger: Jan 5 2009, 07:07 AM
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 5 2009, 12:37 PM

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ROLLING



A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"

"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"


----------------------------

i think repost sweat.gif
MyKy44
post Jan 5 2009, 12:39 PM

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From: klang
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 5 2009, 12:37 PM)
ROLLING



A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"

"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper.  So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
----------------------------

i think repost sweat.gif
*
i think so too whistling.gif
PrinceHamsap
post Jan 5 2009, 09:13 PM

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The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about
his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one
would dispute that. Then he said that they could blindfold him and he
would recognize any animal's skin from its feel and, if he could
locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what caliber the
bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was
willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks. So the bet was
on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin.
After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt
the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.
They brought him another skin from someone's car trunk. He took a bit
longer this time and then said, "Elk. Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He
was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and
again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind and went to sleep.
The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one huge
black eye. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but
not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I
get this black eye?"

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed, put
your hand down my panties, fiddled around a bit and then loudly
yelled, "Skunk. killed with an axe."

Added on January 5, 2009, 9:24 pmAfter great sex, my Thai girlfriend lies there stroking my penis. I ask do you want more sex? No, she replies, 'I'm just admiring your cock, I really miss mine!..

Added on January 5, 2009, 9:27 pmLittle Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doin' there, Timmy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Timmy patted down the last heap of earth and replied, "That's because he's inside your f***in' cat!"

Added on January 5, 2009, 9:34 pmBono and U2 are giving a concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for quiet.
Then, in silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone ...
"Everytime I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice from the back pierces the silence ... "Well, maybe you should stop clapping!"

This post has been edited by PrinceHamsap: Jan 5 2009, 09:34 PM
Cheesenium
post Jan 5 2009, 10:24 PM

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It has been a long time i didnt come here to read jokes.So,i was trying to catch up to all the jokes posted here.Then,i came across this.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Damn,im feeling emo now.
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 6 2009, 05:13 PM

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Can of Peaches


An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches. The inevitable happened and she was caught. Upon her court date, the judge asked her what she had stolen.

"Your Honor, I stole a can of peaches."

The judge replied, "How many peaches were in the can?"

She said, "Six."

The judge then said, "I will sentence you to six days in jail."

Her husband stood up behind her and replied, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."
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