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MyKy44
post Oct 29 2010, 11:46 AM

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can i start? user posted image
hizperion
post Oct 29 2010, 12:12 PM

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cannot
TSaLittleMisfit
post Oct 29 2010, 01:01 PM

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Hey, I missed out the 2500th post doh.gif

Emo Post:
Thank you all for following this thread, 3 years is passed quite fast. If I ever offended someone with these jokes, I apologized now. Sometimes I chooses not to reply in this thread not because I am rude, but I just figure I let others or you to figure it out rather than me spoiling the joke. I do hope you guys enjoy this thread.

I did consider whether to continue V2 as reading too much jokes makes reposta or being shouted reposta. And reading too much jokes sometimes makes me maimed at jokes.... But thanks to you guys encouragement.... I did decide to continue V2.

Non emo:
OK, jokes are suppose to be fun!!! Lets make new fun at relationships... all post are welcome

new house:
http://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=1618700
hizperion
post Oct 29 2010, 02:18 PM

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cheers sedikitTidakMuat
i'm still your number 1 fan!

be sure to put link to this thread in first post of V2 happy.gif
TSaLittleMisfit
post Oct 29 2010, 02:21 PM

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thank you barry barry much.... noted!
gfx
post Oct 30 2010, 05:27 PM

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after a week, and hours of sitting in front of my laptop.. finally reached the last post of V1. woohoooooooo...

i guess i'll just wait for another 3 years so that i can read the jokes thoroughly for a week or so. thanks a lot alilmisfit and other contributors....

you make me sleep late everyday.... biggrin.gif
aspirez
post Oct 30 2010, 05:54 PM

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QUOTE(ahbenchai @ Jan 17 2007, 01:56 PM)
haha rclxms.gif
*
good jokes here. Add more bro, rclxms.gif

DrizzyDrake
post Dec 11 2010, 12:42 PM

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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 3 2007, 09:46 AM)
Accident
This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her."

Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news."

Again the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"

Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years."

The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of state and federal aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.

The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me." The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just f***ing with you, she's dead."
*
that big f**ker! hahahahah.


Added on December 11, 2010, 12:43 pm
QUOTE(allinuff @ Oct 21 2010, 12:52 AM)
Think I'll get banned if I put it back in?
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eh eh can u tell me the joke? smile.gif

This post has been edited by DrizzyDrake: Dec 11 2010, 12:43 PM
yen223
post Dec 12 2010, 06:05 PM

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Wah this page is still active ah?
THEswordmaster
post Dec 16 2010, 10:48 AM

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Got some jokes from my email, sharing it rclxms.gif

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.

3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

8. When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

9. At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give. At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious. At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy. At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year. At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.

10. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
bL!x x3roTh
post Dec 16 2010, 12:41 PM

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continue here please all~~~

V2
bangkura
post Mar 26 2011, 06:51 PM

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QUOTE(Hamster X @ Feb 18 2007, 06:51 PM)
Englishmen don't say soccer.
*
Why so serious?? it's a joke right..

hmm.gif hmm.gif hmm.gif
opxo
post Apr 4 2011, 11:32 AM

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hahahaahha... this ones good!
nachez
post Jun 16 2014, 12:06 AM

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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 16 2007, 04:30 PM)
Half Sisters
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives only a street away and her name is Susan Hoffman." After dinner, George's dad took him aside and said, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, and she's a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I fooled around with other women a lot. Susan Hoffman is actually your half sister, so I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted. After eight months, he started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news: "Diane is your half sister too, George. I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Hah," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father!"
*
LMFAO !! This is very funny thumbs up ..
hizperion
post Jun 16 2014, 09:06 AM

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QUOTE(nachez @ Jun 16 2014, 12:06 AM)
LMFAO !! This is very funny thumbs up ..
*
dude.. you're like 7 years late
nachez
post Jun 17 2014, 06:57 PM

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QUOTE(hizperion @ Jun 16 2014, 09:06 AM)
dude.. you're like 7 years late
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hahaha i'm new
lowya
post Feb 11 2019, 09:21 AM

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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 16 2007, 02:28 PM)
Men & Their Families
An Englishman, American, and Arabian were in a bar talking about their families. The Englishman said, "I have ten kids at home and if I had another one I would have a soccer team!" "Well," said the American guy, "I have fifteen kids at home and if I had another one I would have a football team!" "Well," said the Arabic guy, "I have seventeen wives at home and if I had another one I would have a golf course."
*
guys with existing 8 wives can also have a golf course too if he get another one.

This post has been edited by lowya: Feb 11 2019, 09:21 AM

 

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