yes u should

nice one...lol

COMEBACKS FOR THE QUESTION, "WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET?"



1. You haven't asked yet.

2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

3. What? And spoil my great sex life?

4. Nobody would believe me in white.

5. Because I just love hearing this question.

6. Just lucky, I guess.

7. It gives my mother something to live for.

8. My fiancée is awaiting parole.

9. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss America.

10. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

11. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

12. It didn't seem worth a blood test.

13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

15. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

16. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

18. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

20. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

21. We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it.

22. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

23. Why aren't you thin?

24. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

25. (Bonus reply ... for single moms) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

25th ANNIVERSARY



A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out, and suck your boobs dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

HAHAHAH!

Crank It Up, Old Man


A general store hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts...

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely.

The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which, of course, happens to be located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.

As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Right away, another guy asks for raisin bread and, then, each guy in turn is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.

After more than a few trips, the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring down at the men standing below.

She notices an elderly man coming up through the crowd.

"Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells testily.

"No," croaks the old man feebly, "But it's startin' to twitch."

repost leh~~

lol!! I had to quote this, very much like myself and very original of you! Thanks ^^
PS: i just corrected a little grammar error ^^

Been reading since page one for the whole week, extremely good stuff! Don't mind if i archive all these in my blog do you?

This post has been edited by Ryuuga: Dec 12 2008, 01:36 PM

^ no problem
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THE LONELY MAN


Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, "Sophie, you know I'm shy...Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely."

Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely."

"Of course I'm lonely," he says, "I've spent the past 20 years in prison."

"You're kidding! What for?"

"For killing my third wife. I strangled her."

"What happened to your second wife?"

"I shot her."

"And, if I may ask, your first wife?"

"We had a fight and she fell off a building."

"Oh my," says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, "Yoo hoo ... Shirley. He's single!"

TWO STORY HOUSE


A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.

The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."

"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."

The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?"

The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'"

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Dec 15 2008, 05:30 PM

My wife never listen to what I said, even when I said I wanted a divorce. - aLittleMisfit

Maybe you should try
" I got new girl friend, and she don't have to ask me, does she look fat"

"I just won 20mils lottery."

Looking through the bottom of the Bottle


A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.

The policeman walks up to the man smiling and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving all over the road?"

"No," replied, the policeman, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

LOL

Hanging Around


A white man noticed the impressive length of the black man's pen1s at the adjacent urinal.

"Sure wish I had one like your's."

The black man replied "You can--just tie a string around it and hang weight on the end of the string. Put the weight down your pant leg, and you can have one like mine."

The white man thanked him for the suggestion and left.

Some weeks later, they met again in the lavatory.

The black man asked how the project was going.

"Great--I'm half way there!" "Really?" said the black man.

"Yes. It's black!"

omg, can cut adi. = =

No need cut, wait for it to fall off by itself

LOL!!! Gangrene alert.

Sweet Tooth


The other day April and I took off to do a little window-shopping. I didn't care that much for the merchandise in the windows, but every now and again, a female sales clerk would catch my eye.

April caught me at it. "You're like a kid in a candy store!"

"Yeah, well, since I'm married to you, I'm like a kid with diabetes in a candy store."

hahahhah this one made my day