There goes my lunch

Good 1!

There was this guy at the patent office counter and said," I want to patent this Peach."

The clerk asked,"What's so special about your peach?"

The guy said, taste it, so he did. He told the guy it taste like a peach, so what? He then said, turn it around! The clerk took a bite and said,"wow, this tastes like an apple! You have your Patent!"

Then the next guy walks up and said, "I want to patent this cookie!"

The clerk said,"now what is so special about your cookie?"

In return the guy said, "It tastes like a woman's snatch!"

The clerk said "I gotta try this" so he took a bite. He then said," Oh man, this tastes like shit!"

The man at the counter said, "Turn it around!"

lololololol

man i love this thread.. finally reached here from post 1 after starting like 2 weeks back... keep it up misfit!

A man was telling a friend about a nudist party he'd been invited to.

"I rang the bell and the nudist butler opened the door." he stated.

His friend interrupted, "How did you know he was the butler?"

"Well, he answered smoothly, I could tell right away that it wasn't the maid."

Elderly Proposal


There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. No even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

hahaah lol

Got Bugs?


A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the pharmacist, "I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find 'em?"

The pharmacist replied, "Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4."

"No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it," growled the farmer.

"Sir," said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining, "PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean SPERMICIDE instead of pesticide."

"Listen here," argued the farmer, "I want condoms with PESTICIDE on it, my wife's got a bug up her a$s, and I aim to kill it.

WTF?

nice one...

Facing Facts


A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life.

The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.

Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"

"Well, yes, I did once."

"Well, how did he look?"

"Very angry."

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?"

"He was looking through the window at us."

buahahahaha...

LMAO .

mind to explain a bit?
>"<

the lady is having sex with another guy and her husband caught them in act

Secret Lover

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy.
Lets spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson.
We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

^ lol infinity loop

sorry but repost

Haiya sorry, shall i edit and post a new 1?