A couple decide to go golfing to the best golf course in their state.While playing,the husband tells his wife to be very carefull as there were many houses along the golf course.But the stupid wife swings her club and it breaks one of the glasses of the biggest house on the course.so the husband and wife decided to go and apologize to the owner of the house.When thay reached the house the they found a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of peices.The found an old man sitting inhis rocking chair and greeted the couple inside.he said"i am a genie and i would like to thank u for letting me free from this bottle,and i would like to grant u 2 wishes and the 3rd wish is mine.so the husband says i want a private aircraft for myself.the wife said she would like a house in every single country.the genie says for the past 200 years he has never had sex and would like to have sex with the lady.the husband agrees and the genie takes the lady up and begins having sex.then he asks the lady"how old is your husband"she replys"47"and the genie says"what a kid he still believes in genies"


   

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
£20, even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

~ Let your body move to the music ~

Never translate IT terms to the Malay Language
Why Mahathir insist on using English for math and science. Because global
uses the
language as information's and / or technology language at this moment.How
danger it is if we're trying to use in Bahasa, especially in school.
see example below.
*hardware = barangkeras
*software = baranglembut
*joystick = batang gembira
*plug and play = cucuk dan main
*port = lubang
*server = pelayan
*client = pelanggan

Try translate this:
ENGLISH :
That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either
hardware or software
joystick.The joystick goes into the port of  the client."

BAHASA :
Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan
batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut.Batang gembira itu dimasukkan
ke dalam lubang pelanggan."



> > > > > > Now You Know.........

Once upon a time , there lived a happy couple, Mr.
> > & Mrs. Ng with their 3
> > >lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Anele. The 3
> > daughters were brought up in
> > >a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20,
> > they were still virgins.
> > >
> > >Years past, and it was time to get them married.
> > So, the parents found
> > >them the most suitable 'leng chais'. They got
> > married and were preparing
> > >to set-off on their honeymoon. As 'concerned',
> > Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curious
> > >about their daughters' first-night experience. So,
> > before the daughters
> > >went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told
> > them...... "Your father
> > >& I want to know about your 1st night encounters
> > and whether you are
> > >satisfied. Write a letter to us, but as not to
> > raise your husbands'
> > >curiosity...you all must use a code-name to
> > describe your experiences"
> > >
> > >So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed.
> > Mr & Mrs Ng got the
> > >first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the
> > letter and found the word
> > >STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the
> > >newspaper and looked for Standard Chartered
> > advertisement. Ah! here it
> > >is!!!!, exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard
> > Chartered was...."BIG,
> > >STRONG & FRIENDLY"....Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.
> > >
> > >A week later, they got another letter. This time it
> > was from Ena. The
> > >content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took
> > the newspaper and
> > >looked for the Nescafe ad. Ah! here it is.
> > 'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE
> > >LAST DROP'. Mr. & Mrs. Ng jumped in joy.
> > >
> > >Another week passed. A month passed. 2 months
> > passed. There was still no
> > >letter from Anele. The Ngs became worried. Finally,
> > the letter came. It
> > >was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng
> > managed to figure it
> > >out. The code-name was "CATHAY PACIFIC". Mr. Ng
> > rushed to the nearest
> > >store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages
> > frantically.... ah! here it
> > >is!!! Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.
> > Before she could finish
> > >it......THUMP!!!!!!...she fell off her chair.
> > >The motto is.........." 7 TIMES A WEEK. 3 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP ".