do some calculation my friend...calculation about ur future ...
My GF may be pregnant (Confirmed 4 weeks )
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 Mar 23 2009, 10:02 AM
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Junior Member
70 posts Joined: Feb 2009 
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Mar 23 2009, 10:07 AM
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Junior Member
160 posts Joined: Jul 2007
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Marriage... is easier said than done. In his situation (mom bad physical condition, financially insecured, no savings, etc) if you consider all those and take into account while being RATIONAL, abortion is the way to go.
Dont go all ethics on me. Getting married for the sake of a baby WITHOUT considering the shit you are in, is even worst for the future of the baby. However, Im not saying you should abort. What Im saying is, be RATIONAL, dont make decisions emotionally. Only do what you think you can manage. Give it a thought. |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:28 AM
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Junior Member
722 posts Joined: Jan 2005
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be a man...face d problem n solve it...all u need is some courage and sweat...escaping like a coward (referring to those considering abortion like d one above) is not a solution...
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Mar 23 2009, 10:40 AM
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All Stars
21,962 posts Joined: Dec 2004 From: KL  
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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 09:10 AM) I'm not really sure what I expect to gain from posting on these forums. I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone here has been in a similar situation and what they did. My GF and I have been dating for more than a year now and we're usually very careful about our sexual activities, but she missed her period this month (kind of - there's bleeding just not a lot of it ) and so we did a pregnancy test that came up positive. She's going to the doctors today to get confirmation whether or not she's pregnant. And your question is?This is happening at a not so good time as although I'm working and earning a decent salary, I don't have much saved up as I've only been working for about a year. She is also earning a good pay and technically speaking we could afford to raise a kid together. But the problem is that our parents would definitely freak out about this and her mum is especially sensitive to these matters. To make matters worse, her mum is not in the best physical shape and telling her this is likely to cause enough stress to break her... Me and my GF have discussed this and no matter how we try, if she is pregnant, we don't seem to be able to come to a comfortable resolution.. It seems that the only way out of this situation is to terminate the pregnancy... I'm really reluctant to do this...  For me, no matter what or how the parents will freak out but eventually they will have to accept it. Afterall their daughter/son is already big enough so they should be held responsible for their own actions and parents should let go their control. And like RUI says, be a man and do wat u should and not running away from the situation |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:41 AM
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Junior Member
66 posts Joined: Aug 2006 
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I think u guys have gotten me all wrong. I'm all for keeping the kid (if she's pregnant) but my GF doesn't think her mum will be able to help it. My parents would be fine with it. I will marry her if she wants to have the child but what if because of this shocking truth, her mum pass away from stroke? Can you live with that?
I'm doing all I can to give the kid a chance but if the cost of having the kid is the loss of her mum and her family.. I'm sorry but the choice is not a choice. (PS. She already lost her dad so she only has her mum left. ) Law fact - Abortion in Malaysia is illegal after the first trimester. Not before. She's only been pregnant at most 2 weeks which is before the 3rd trimester which means that abortion would be legal. This post has been edited by ravager877: Mar 23 2009, 10:43 AM |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:47 AM
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Junior Member
29 posts Joined: Mar 2009
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Proposed ASAP. Tell the good news to the mother. Bring parents to meet up. Plan the wedding ahead.
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Mar 23 2009, 10:50 AM
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Senior Member
2,950 posts Joined: Aug 2008
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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:41 AM) I think u guys have gotten me all wrong. I'm all for keeping the kid (if she's pregnant) but my GF doesn't think her mum will be able to help it. My parents would be fine with it. I will marry her if she wants to have the child but what if because of this shocking truth, her mum pass away from stroke? Can you live with that? propose to her before her stomach is visable.I'm doing all I can to give the kid a chance but if the cost of having the kid is the loss of her mum and her family.. I'm sorry but the choice is not a choice. (PS. She already lost her dad so she only has her mum left. ) Law fact - Abortion in Malaysia is illegal after the first trimester. Not before. She's only been pregnant at most 2 weeks which is before the 3rd trimester which means that abortion would be legal. then get married asap. |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:51 AM
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Senior Member
511 posts Joined: Jul 2007
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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:41 AM) I think u guys have gotten me all wrong. I'm all for keeping the kid (if she's pregnant) but my GF doesn't think her mum will be able to help it. My parents would be fine with it. I will marry her if she wants to have the child but what if because of this shocking truth, her mum pass away from stroke? Can you live with that? TS, i strongly agree what Buggo say.I'm doing all I can to give the kid a chance but if the cost of having the kid is the loss of her mum and her family.. I'm sorry but the choice is not a choice. (PS. She already lost her dad so she only has her mum left. ) Law fact - Abortion in Malaysia is illegal after the first trimester. Not before. She's only been pregnant at most 2 weeks which is before the 3rd trimester which means that abortion would be legal. I got friends with 1 kid only 3yr. Both also not able to bear the baby expenses. Even their parent hav giv help a lot. Maybe you can ask ur friends who get baby already. What they feel if their financially cannot cover a kids.. KiDs study, susu, pampers, health etc etc will cost you a lot. And please dun just "lahir dia keluar tapi tak jaga, biar anak lepak kat luar".. |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:53 AM
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All Stars
21,962 posts Joined: Dec 2004 From: KL
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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:41 AM) I think u guys have gotten me all wrong. I'm all for keeping the kid (if she's pregnant) but my GF doesn't think her mum will be able to help it. My parents would be fine with it. I will marry her if she wants to have the child but what if because of this shocking truth, her mum pass away from stroke? Can you live with that? U dont need to tell her mom about it.I'm doing all I can to give the kid a chance but if the cost of having the kid is the loss of her mum and her family.. I'm sorry but the choice is not a choice. (PS. She already lost her dad so she only has her mum left. ) Law fact - Abortion in Malaysia is illegal after the first trimester. Not before. She's only been pregnant at most 2 weeks which is before the 3rd trimester which means that abortion would be legal. Just tell her u both wants to get married and make it fast. |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:54 AM
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Junior Member
88 posts Joined: Jan 2003
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try and give the baby a chance.
ask your gf to read all our replies also and then calm down and think if there is any chance of saving a life it is always worth it. riskas are meant to be taken, who knows it might be a good thing for you and for her too. mind telling us how old u guys are? hehe wacky angel is right.......... This post has been edited by jabelix: Mar 23 2009, 10:54 AM |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:56 AM
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Senior Member
1,337 posts Joined: Feb 2009
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"i'm pregnant"
vs "i aborted the baby cos i sked u get heart attack" i wonder which is the one that would give the hear attack... |
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Mar 23 2009, 10:58 AM
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VIP
3,028 posts Joined: Feb 2005 From: 梅田,大阪 //Sabah
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I wonder what will be the resction of your GF's mum, if she heard that both of you decided to come into decision to abort, because of the fear of freaking out your GF's mum...
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Mar 23 2009, 10:58 AM
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Senior Member
975 posts Joined: Jan 2003 
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use a condom
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Mar 23 2009, 11:00 AM
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Senior Member
4,202 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: THE ONE AND ONLY CHOO CHOO TRAIN KINGDOM 
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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 09:10 AM) .... do not kill your child.To make matters worse, her mum is not in the best physical shape and telling her this is likely to cause enough stress to break her... Me and my GF have discussed this and no matter how we try, if she is pregnant, we don't seem to be able to come to a comfortable resolution.. It seems that the only way out of this situation is to terminate the pregnancy... I'm really reluctant to do this... your gf's mum will live. i repeat, do not kill your child. |
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Mar 23 2009, 11:00 AM
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All Stars
21,962 posts Joined: Dec 2004 From: KL
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QUOTE(rourou @ Mar 23 2009, 10:58 AM) use a condom rourou i veli sleepy  |
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Mar 23 2009, 11:01 AM
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Junior Member
30 posts Joined: Mar 2009
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how sure are u ur gf's mom will die of stroke/whatever it is if u tell her she got a grandchildren?
certainly not as sure as KILLING your own child. |
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Mar 23 2009, 11:02 AM
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Senior Member
2,841 posts Joined: Jun 2008 From: The East of the Motherland
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Just have a guy next to you and say "It's his fault".
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Mar 23 2009, 11:04 AM
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Junior Member
66 posts Joined: Aug 2006
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QUOTE(ahjames @ Mar 23 2009, 10:56 AM) "i'm pregnant" Well the 2nd one will nvr be spoken off so definately no heart attack on second one. And please stop with the 'dont kill a life' arguments cause its not a very good argument. If you bring a child into the world without being able to support it, then u may as well have left the child in a trash can. And her mum is very very sick so yes, its is very likely to send her into cardiac arrest. Take the facts I've given you without speculating that I'm over reacting to her mums condition. vs "i aborted the baby cos i sked u get heart attack" i wonder which is the one that would give the hear attack... Also, don't give me the "you should have taken precautions" approach. We've been together for more than a year and been sexually active for that duration so we've been taking all the proper precautions. Its just fate that she may have gotten pregnant now. Besides, there's no point crying over spilled milk. I'm just looking for some helpful advice. Not "I told you so's".. This post has been edited by ravager877: Mar 23 2009, 11:09 AM |
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Mar 23 2009, 11:04 AM
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Senior Member
2,919 posts Joined: Feb 2006 From: tanah melayu
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damn. condoms can be easily obtained from convenience shop and yet people choose pleasure over protection.
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Mar 23 2009, 11:04 AM
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Junior Member
160 posts Joined: Jul 2007
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QUOTE(RUI @ Mar 23 2009, 10:28 AM) be a man...face d problem n solve it...all u need is some courage and sweat...escaping like a coward (referring to those considering abortion like d one above) is not a solution... Are you referring to me? Can I ask, have you started working? Do you know how much it costs to raise a baby? Do you know what happen to marriages when there is a financial crisis? Do you know what happens to the baby's growth when you are no longer capable of raising a kid or if you have constant arguments with your wife? Do you know why there are SO MANY kids up for adoption? Do you know why people sell children in the black market? Like I said, be RATIONAL. Live within your own means. Dont just jump in and go all "Save the baby, save the world" without considering the future ahead. If an abortion will give you more pros than cons, then that is the solution. Unlike people who just spout nonsense about keeping a baby WITHOUT thinking AHEAD. Ps. No one needs to know your gf had an abortion. Having an abortion might not give her mom a heartattack. You telling her, might. |
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