I'm not really sure what I expect to gain from posting on these forums. I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone here has been in a similar situation and what they did. My GF and I have been dating for more than a year now and we're usually very careful about our sexual activities, but she missed her period this month (kind of - there's bleeding just not a lot of it ) and so we did a pregnancy test that came up positive. She's going to the doctors today to get confirmation whether or not she's pregnant.

This is happening at a not so good time as although I'm working and earning a decent salary, I don't have much saved up as I've only been working for about a year. She is also earning a good pay and technically speaking we could afford to raise a kid together. But the problem is that our parents would definitely freak out about this and her mum is especially sensitive to these matters. To make matters worse, her mum is not in the best physical shape and telling her this is likely to cause enough stress to break her...

Me and my GF have discussed this and no matter how we try, if she is pregnant, we don't seem to be able to come to a comfortable resolution.. It seems that the only way out of this situation is to terminate the pregnancy...

I'm really reluctant to do this...

I think u guys have gotten me all wrong. I'm all for keeping the kid (if she's pregnant) but my GF doesn't think her mum will be able to help it. My parents would be fine with it. I will marry her if she wants to have the child but what if because of this shocking truth, her mum pass away from stroke? Can you live with that?

I'm doing all I can to give the kid a chance but if the cost of having the kid is the loss of her mum and her family.. I'm sorry but the choice is not a choice.

(PS. She already lost her dad so she only has her mum left. )

Law fact - Abortion in Malaysia is illegal after the first trimester. Not before. She's only been pregnant at most 2 weeks which is before the 3rd trimester which means that abortion would be legal.

use a condom

way much better than other methods.  and well, i haven't known anyone who complains about getting pregnant after using them.

pills are hormones.  different ppl get affected differently.  and definitely got effect, see if i shot some estrogen in your system what will happen? 

condoms also protects from STD.  way better than pills.

rou rou. ur posts are probably the least useful. please leave this discussion.

Man this is pathetic. The amount of people here saying "don't kill the baby! its innocent", "Abortion is murder" , "Think about the baby!" yadda yadda yadda. You all need to bloody grow up and start living in the real world.

Do you people have ANY F*CKING IDEA how much it costs to raise a baby? I'm not just talking financially, I'm also talking emotionally, physically and the amount of time it takes. The responsibility is HUGE, and most people won't be able to handle it well, which leads to poor child growth.

Its bloody annoying to see the same stuff being posted everytime someone creates a "omg im gonna be a daddy" topic. Try to empathise with the TS, try to imagine you're in his situation now. How can you help him? What advice can you give? Be helpful, instead of repeating things he already knows, just to make yourself seem morally superior.

TS, abortion seems to be your most likely solution. If you go ahead with it, bare in mind that the emotional trauma on your GF would be quite significant, pay more attention to her during the aftermath. Even if she doesn't show it, she may be suffering from guilt inside of her.

well even for a gal, with all her motherly instinct may not be ready for a child.  having a child takes its toll, emotionally and financially.  even if she is financially capable doesn't mean she is emotionally.  it's a difficult decision to make.  she may still be scared and confused with the whole issue.

but no mattter what, they have made their decision so be it.  just find the best way to go around it.

he's been working for a year, that's hardly stable enough. Do you understand the current status of the economy? His GF will have to take maternity leave, and that would mean no income for several months, on top of that, there is no guarantee she'll be able to re-enter the workforce. To add insult to the injury, he may not even be able to hold on to his job for the next few years, considering the global recession. Did you even think of these factors?

If you think its not hard to raise a child, have you even tried? I used to help my mom take care of my sis when she was a baby.. I was not given full responsibility, but it was tough enough. Seriously, grow up and enter the real world, there's so much to think about in raising a child. His consideration for his GF's mother is just one of the factors. He's hardly being selfish, he's simply being rational. Unlike you morons who are unable to use your mental faculties.

Sigh. Most of you 'bleeding hearts' are convinced I'm doing this to avoid responsibility. Just so you know I'm gonna marry this woman whether the child is kept or not. But we cannot simply say hey we get married now and have the kid just cause its there... As pointed out countless times, its costly to raise a child and time consuming. Its not like a bloody digital game that you can just turn off whenever it suits you. Me and gf are not ready for that responsibility and it would make for a lousy upbringing. Sure we have the cash, but do we have the time? Its easy to say that we are murderers but I think i would rather be a murderer than a person who neglects his child. Least if i murder a baby they go without knowing anything rather than i torture someone from years of neglect. Hate me if you will curse me if you will I'm already upset that I have to make this decision because believe it or not I was very happy to hear she was pregnant. Its just that this is a terrible time for it to come along...

For those of you who have managed to see things from my end of the deal, thank you and rest assured I will take very good care of my GF. I love her very much and will definitely support her in the rough days to come.

And I will not show her this forum simply because too many of you are out to guilt trip us into keeping the child. You already know that GUILT will be a big part of the process and yet you seem intent on making us feel even guiltier. YOU ARE NOT HELPING. Taking the moral high ground just because you can does make you a better person. It just makes you a snob saying "I'm better than you".

What about you oh Noble One? If you're so passionate about the life of the child, why don't you finance them during the pregnancy then take care of the child when its born. You said its not difficult right? You can certainly talk the talk, but can you walk the talk? Its so damn easy to say things, to condemn others, to act superior, lets see some action.
Of course he has to think about himself and his partner FIRST. If they can't take care of themselves, how can they provide for the child? I'm trying to lay out points for you, and give a proper argument for the pros and cons of the choice. What can you do besides using emotionally loaded arguments and attempting to take the moral high ground based on complete and utter ignorance?

Abortion is not a choice I would always advocate, it really depends on the circumstances. Think about the situation, and see what's the best available choice. There's really no point in making everyone's life miserable. A child you can make again when the circumstances are better. I've been avoiding turning this into a discussion about when life begins... but lets face it, this first trimester its not even "alive" yet. You might as well call all females murderers cause they shed an egg once a month

As I said, get out in the real world and start actually having some real responsibilities. Then you'll start to understand that life is filled with tough choices. He doesn't like the idea of an abortion. He knows its impact. He knows the responsibility it entails. He knows that he's not ready to raise a child, so he's not going to let a child suffer for it. Yet you people can't see that, all you can do is try to act like you're morally superior, like you know better. The level of immaturity and lack of rational thought is simply amazing in this forum.

My response to wacky-angel:


To all who are against the abortion, and who think its easy to raise a child. Why don't you offer to help take care of TS's upcoming child? Go help them bear the medical cost for labour, and you can also help take care of their child for them. Its easy ma right, money can get wan ma right... you want to save a life don't you? See if any of you would put money where your mouth is. Its sooooooo damn easy for you condemn others and judge them, but NONE of you would walk the talk.

So if you can't do as you talk, just shut up.

POP QUIZ

A) What does the bf and gf and their parents have and also the little infant have?

B) What does the bf and gf and their parents have but the little infant doesn't have?
Answer:

A) A LIFE.

B) A BIRTHDAY, guess what? you all people who went decided go abortion gets to celebrete your little birthday everyyear, and what happen to the little guy who don't even see the light of the world? such selfish and stupid decided been made especially regarding financial issue or hard to raise a baby, think about it.
Another POP QUIZ

C) What is the different between heartless murderer and the people who decide went on abortion due to financial issue?
Answer: NOTHING
If abortion been made due to mother's health then only is a no choice decision.

Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative. 

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.

i was replying to wacky-angel's thread about God in this issue ..
of course i know his parents may help him out .. but in wacky's opinion .. he think he can live his life by only hugging his bible ..

Well, for those who are interested, the baby has been confirmed. The doctor confirmed the embryo is 4 weeks old and is about 1.5cm's in diameter. After much discussion with the doctor as well as family planning therapist, it has been decided that we are going to terminate the pregnancy. Termination will proceed this Wednesday so I hope that if indeed you are morally good people as you like to think you are, please pray for me and my gf as we make this very difficult decision. I asked her to keep the pregnancy just because I would like to have a child but after discussing things rationally we both have to agree that this is the best for all parties. On the brighter side of things, I have asked her to marry me and she has accepted. This does not change our decision to terminate the pregnancy as we cannot give the kind of support a child deserves in this troubling age. I may have lost a child... but at least I have gained a fiancee...

Thank you once again for your advice and kind words, especially to those who have supported me in this very difficult choice that I am forced to make...

hawk you got something else to said about this, people that are married and have kids, and they seems to be immature to you ?

i'm totally agree with her human are just full of excuses