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 My GF may be pregnant (Confirmed 4 weeks )

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amduser
post Mar 23 2009, 08:36 PM

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QUOTE(NelsonBoy @ Mar 23 2009, 02:56 PM)
ja marry.

dont tell her parents dat she is pregnant.

jz tat easy .
*
but u cant hide that truth for long, her stomach will grow bigger and bigger....

it seems like TS already decided to go for abortion after i reading his reply and post.

from my opinion, discuss with ur gf first, ask ur gf to go for checkup in few hospital/clinic to really make sure she's pregnant.

if she's pregnant, discuss with her about it, abortion or not, then discuss with family from both side, find a place where both family can sit down and decide together how to overcome this.

there r disadvantages and advantages of abortion.

if u choose abortion - bad for the health of your gf, mentally distress, if somethings goes wrong, it will effect both u and ur gf life.

if u choose to born it - financial problems as stated by other in previous post, suffer from financial problem.

this is just my own opinion....
VCBlogger
post Mar 23 2009, 09:05 PM

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hi TS,
Yup, go for a medical checkup confirm if your gf is really pregnant or not.You are under a lot of pressure. I am not in you shoes and cannot imagine the stress you are in.

I am not sure if you are close to your gf family but i think its best you should discuss with your gf and decide if you would like to inform your family and her family about it.

Regardless of the situation, if performing an abortion is your next step, there are inherent risk involved.You need their support now than later if complications arise.

Sure enough, you will get an earful maybe more but you seem responsible not to breakup with your gf now or pretend its not you who is the father. So perhaps you should admit to both families.

A suggestions is to get both of you registered to show your intent to be together and get the family support during this difficult period.Its best to have 2 families or at least one taking care of you and your gf at this time.

They may offer advice, financial and moral support which we may not be able to offer in the same amount.

god bless...

unfortunately no matter what we say, we can only pray for you but cant be there for you.
SUSPinkGenie<3
post Mar 23 2009, 09:06 PM

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QUOTE(amduser @ Mar 23 2009, 08:36 PM)
but u cant hide that truth for long, her stomach will grow bigger and bigger....

it seems like TS already decided to go for abortion after i reading his reply and post.

from my opinion, discuss with ur gf first, ask ur gf to go for checkup in few hospital/clinic to really make sure she's pregnant.

if she's pregnant, discuss with her about it, abortion or not, then discuss with family from both side, find a place where both family can sit down and decide together how to overcome this.

there r disadvantages and advantages of abortion.

if u choose abortion - bad for the health of your gf, mentally distress, if somethings goes wrong, it will effect both u and ur gf life.

if u choose to born it - financial problems as stated by other in previous post, suffer from financial problem.

this is just my own opinion....
*
Financial problem, you can still find ways to settle it. For example, do extra job, spend money wisely, spend less save more etc

bad for the health of your gf, mentally distress, if somethings goes wrong, it will effect both u and ur gf life <-- all the money in the world cannot heal this
WaCKy-Angel
post Mar 23 2009, 09:54 PM

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QUOTE(blackwings @ Mar 23 2009, 08:34 PM)
POP QUIZ

A) What does the bf and gf and their parents have and also the little infant have?

B) What does the bf and gf and their parents have but the little infant doesn't have?
Answer:

A) A LIFE.

B) A BIRTHDAY, guess what? you all people who went decided go abortion gets to celebrete your little birthday everyyear, and what happen to the little guy who don't even see the light of the world? such selfish and stupid decided been made especially regarding financial issue or hard to raise a baby, think about it.
Another POP QUIZ

C) What is the different between heartless murderer and the people who decide went on abortion due to financial issue?
Answer: NOTHING
If abortion been made due to mother's health then only is a no choice decision.
*
SilverHawk birdy says that infant hasno life before some stages...3 months or something? i dont know..
amduser
post Mar 23 2009, 10:11 PM

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QUOTE(PinkGenie<3 @ Mar 23 2009, 09:06 PM)
Financial problem, you can still find ways to settle it. For example, do extra job, spend money wisely, spend less save more etc

bad for the health of your gf, mentally distress, if somethings goes wrong, it will effect both u and ur gf life <-- all the money in the world cannot heal this
*
the best is to discuss with both family, if both side r not conservative, maybe they will take turn to take care of the child while both TS and his gf go out and work, this is very common nowadays where parents gv their children to their parents to take care with.
djhenry91
post Mar 23 2009, 10:12 PM

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dun abortin ur baby..
baby is a human life..
think before u action
blackwings
post Mar 23 2009, 10:14 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Mar 23 2009, 09:54 PM)
SilverHawk birdy says that infant hasno life before some stages...3 months or something? i dont know..
*
the life he refer to maybe the formation of heart and beginning of heartbeat gua? but the life i refer to in a spiritual way, usually not easily to be understand by the people who easily deciding on going abortion. coz they think abortion does not involve destroying a life.
AngelOfDestruction
post Mar 23 2009, 10:23 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Mar 23 2009, 08:34 PM)
ROFLMAO...

If u didnt noticed, the JUDGE i mention is the God.
But heck, i know you are your own god.
*
i wonder ..
wat will happen when TS's gf juz gave birth and suddenly TS is out of his job ..
wat will happen to them ?

i am not ruling out God in this issue .. but sometimes we will have to make rational decisions based on the real life circumstances...

in this real world .. you cant buy a packet of tissue even though you only short of 10 cents ...

p/s however .. i still put abortion as the very last option as i will never wanna harm the mother (TS's gf)
SUSPinkGenie<3
post Mar 23 2009, 10:31 PM

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QUOTE(AngelOfDestruction @ Mar 23 2009, 10:23 PM)
i wonder ..
wat will happen when TS's gf juz gave birth and suddenly TS is out of his job ..
wat will happen to them ?

i am not ruling out God in this issue .. but sometimes we will have to make rational decisions based on the real life circumstances...

in this real world .. you cant buy a packet of tissue even though you only short of 10 cents ...

p/s however .. i still put abortion as the very last option as i will never wanna harm the mother (TS's gf)
*
Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative. shakehead.gif

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.
whirlwind
post Mar 23 2009, 10:35 PM

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Nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes i agree its gonna be hard
Real hard for both of you but once you abort, you'll regret for the rest of your life. Get a grip and its time for you to change your life. If you dont change now, you'll never be prepared
AngelOfDestruction
post Mar 23 2009, 10:52 PM

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QUOTE(PinkGenie<3 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:31 PM)
Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative.  shakehead.gif

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.
*
i was replying to wacky-angel's thread about God in this issue ..
of course i know his parents may help him out .. but in wacky's opinion .. he think he can live his life by only hugging his bible ..
SUSjoe_star
post Mar 23 2009, 10:56 PM

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QUOTE(PinkGenie<3 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:31 PM)
Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative.  shakehead.gif

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.
*
By the way things look, i think both TS & gf have to be financially independent.

What i am more worried about is the strength/durability of TS & gf relationship. If they have this child now, perhaps get stigmatized by both families, perhaps end up in financial hardship, get relationship problems, and may be split. The child might then be viewed as a burden, & not be brought up properly & with love & care. You can say I'm being totally negative, but I knew 1 particular person from such a background very very well, & frankly, at times I think it would be better if (she) had never been brought into this world.

Perhaps some of you who are pro-life (in all circumstances) could also drop into abandoned children shelters & see how their life is, maybe even follow their progress. Some make it out, but too many fall on the wayside to lead meaningless lives.

Oh damn, I'm rambling again. Anyhow at TS, be a little optimistic. You said there was some bleeding. Perhaps the pregnancy kit was a false positive. Its better to wait for the docs report before making any conclusions.

& I think we are still waiting for any 1st hand accounts on this kinda situation

This post has been edited by joe_star: Mar 23 2009, 10:57 PM
TSravager877
post Mar 23 2009, 10:59 PM

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Well, for those who are interested, the baby has been confirmed. The doctor confirmed the embryo is 4 weeks old and is about 1.5cm's in diameter. After much discussion with the doctor as well as family planning therapist, it has been decided that we are going to terminate the pregnancy. Termination will proceed this Wednesday so I hope that if indeed you are morally good people as you like to think you are, please pray for me and my gf as we make this very difficult decision. I asked her to keep the pregnancy just because I would like to have a child but after discussing things rationally we both have to agree that this is the best for all parties. On the brighter side of things, I have asked her to marry me and she has accepted. This does not change our decision to terminate the pregnancy as we cannot give the kind of support a child deserves in this troubling age. I may have lost a child... but at least I have gained a fiancee...

Thank you once again for your advice and kind words, especially to those who have supported me in this very difficult choice that I am forced to make...
alabais
post Mar 23 2009, 11:04 PM

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Good luck bro!
yipwh
post Mar 23 2009, 11:05 PM

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aiya just get married lar...sign only what few hundred only.
Kampung2005
post Mar 23 2009, 11:22 PM

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QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:59 PM)
Well, for those who are interested, the baby has been confirmed. The doctor confirmed the embryo is 4 weeks old and is about 1.5cm's in diameter. After much discussion with the doctor as well as family planning therapist, it has been decided that we are going to terminate the pregnancy. Termination will proceed this Wednesday so I hope that if indeed you are morally good people as you like to think you are, please pray for me and my gf as we make this very difficult decision. I asked her to keep the pregnancy just because I would like to have a child but after discussing things rationally we both have to agree that this is the best for all parties. On the brighter side of things, I have asked her to marry me and she has accepted. This does not change our decision to terminate the pregnancy as we cannot give the kind of support a child deserves in this troubling age. I may have lost a child... but at least I have gained a fiancee...

Thank you once again for your advice and kind words, especially to those who have supported me in this very difficult choice that I am forced to make...
*
Good luck and it is good to noted that you did discuss with doctor and family planning therapist...

Anyway, hopefully both of you will pass through the ordeal, and come out a productive and meaningful relationship for both of you...

Wish you all the best wink.gif
lishoney
post Mar 23 2009, 11:23 PM

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that's a very bad choice
WaCKy-Angel
post Mar 23 2009, 11:25 PM

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QUOTE(PinkGenie<3 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:31 PM)
Why not be more positive towards life? Not everything in life turn out to be so negative.  shakehead.gif

Even if TS is out of job, I'm sure his parents will help him out no matter what.
*
QUOTE(AngelOfDestruction @ Mar 23 2009, 10:52 PM)
i was replying to wacky-angel's thread about God in this issue ..
of course i know his parents may help him out .. but in wacky's opinion .. he think he can live his life by only hugging his bible ..
*
And PinkGenie has answered on my behalf..
I see TV showing even more poorer ppl with even more child (although sometime i wonder why they are so dumb to make more child since they already so poor) but they still willing to struggle and work harder.

They can, why not u?
Now im starting to pity ppl that think like u, rather than pity those shown in TV but start to respect them.

QUOTE(ravager877 @ Mar 23 2009, 10:59 PM)
Well, for those who are interested, the baby has been confirmed. The doctor confirmed the embryo is 4 weeks old and is about 1.5cm's in diameter. After much discussion with the doctor as well as family planning therapist, it has been decided that we are going to terminate the pregnancy. Termination will proceed this Wednesday so I hope that if indeed you are morally good people as you like to think you are, please pray for me and my gf as we make this very difficult decision. I asked her to keep the pregnancy just because I would like to have a child but after discussing things rationally we both have to agree that this is the best for all parties. On the brighter side of things, I have asked her to marry me and she has accepted. This does not change our decision to terminate the pregnancy as we cannot give the kind of support a child deserves in this troubling age. I may have lost a child... but at least I have gained a fiancee...

Thank you once again for your advice and kind words, especially to those who have supported me in this very difficult choice that I am forced to make...
*
All the best for you and her..

I suggest u show her this thread, let her understand and feel what u been through (either by moron like me or other moron like, u know who)...

Physical bonding is important but mental bonding is even more important.

Treat her good.
acbc
post Mar 23 2009, 11:33 PM

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So, the moral of this thread is...

Don't screw around when you don't have moo-lah!

In this cruel world, money is everything... even poor people need them more than rich people.
nickisthemost
post Mar 24 2009, 12:13 AM

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QUOTE(PinkGenie<3 @ Mar 23 2009, 07:50 PM)
Do not use her mom as an excuse to abort the baby. You haven't even tell her yet, why made you two so sure that she would freak out, have a stroke and die? Maybe in the other way round, she would be happy that she'll finally have a grandchild.

One of my friend has a very strict mom too. Although she's an adult, she still has to follow a curfew given by her mom which is to reach home before 9pm whenever she goes out. But as they say, the more you are stricted to do something, the more problems you'll create.

She was also accidentally pregnant and was scared to let her mom know too. Because she thought that her mom will kick her out or slap her or hit her if she knew that her daughter is pregnant with the bf that she only knew for around 4 months. :/

But in the end, both of them took the courage and tell her mom that she's going to be a grandma soon. And guess what is her mother's reaction?

Confused at first but the day after that, she treated her daughter extra good knowing that she's pregnant. 2-3 days after that, she was so excited that she's going to be a grandmother soon.

Don't be a coward.

Take this as a double happiness (Seong hei lam mun)

Furthermore, by doing abortion your gf is at risk of not conceiving at all in the future. Would you want to take this risk?

When that happen, what are you going to tell her mom then?

"Auntie, your daughter cannot conceive because last time she had done abortion before"

That's way worst!

Since you said that you and your family are ready for the marriage, then discourage her from the thoughts of abortion and encourage her to face her mom instead. Be there for her when she breaks the good news to her mom and face whatever that needs to be face together with her.

Good luck.

Added on March 23, 2009, 8:18 pmAnd to those who thinks that bringing up a baby is costly, is hard, is tough, this are all STUPID EXCUSES!

Have yourself a baby first before telling people how hard it is going to be a parents. WTF! Furthermore, TS and his gf are not young kiddos anymore, they are adults for God's sake!

My and husband only earn peanuts with salary less than RM5K when both our salaries are added together. But we are able to rent and stay on our own, give my mom monthly RM1K allowance and take good care of the baby. I even gave birth in a private hospital although we don't have any savings left after our wedding.

When there's a will there's a way.

WHY DON'T YOU THINK OF HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND HAVE YOUR FINANCIAL SECURED INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW TO GET RID OF THE BABY?
*
hawk you got something else to said about this, people that are married and have kids, and they seems to be immature to you tongue.gif ?

i'm totally agree with her tongue.gif human are just full of excuses
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